<333 oh hello thar muse that suddenly makes me write too many words!!
WC: 614
Coli stood anxiously, gazing at the houses nearby her. A brisk breeze ruffled her fur, stirring up all the scent trails crisscrossing the clearing. There were others dwelling here as well -- it must be Cassia, the swordswoman she had met in the Dreamer's orchard and practically begged to come live here. Then the male scents must be Oak and the other brother, and... Her ears fell back, tail stub pressed low against her haunches. She didn't have the courage to do this, not even now. What was she supposed to say?
I want you back. I never should have left. I am so sorry.
It all sounded so hollow and insincere. There weren't words to explain how painful it had been for her to desert the pack and live by herself for all those seasons. She couldn't bear to be with anyone else at all, running away and away, further to the west... all the while trying to blame Anu for the ache in her chest, for the tears that would not stop. But whose fault could it be other than her own? If she had been better at communicating, letting herself be vulnerable instead of always trying to hide...
It was too late for all that. She was so obsessive, she could never move on and let the past be forgotten; always reliving every little detail, playing it out in her mind and picking apart where she went wrong. With a frustrated huff, she turned away... and came face to face with Anu.
Coli swallowed audibly, blue eyes as wide as saucers. Anu looked just as startled, clearly not expecting to see her there. And yet, she wore the same Frithr pendant around her neck -- had she joined the pack by mere coincidence? Didn't Cassia mention who told her about Vinátta? She had hoped for, well... what she hoped for was never going to happen.
Coli could not keep from staring at Anu, the sight of her making her heart leap painfully in her chest. The wolf was smaller than she remembered, older and worn by the seasons that passed her by. They were both older now. But all the old feelings came flooding back fresh and new, and she had to fight off the overwhelming urge to grovel, to beg for forgiveness. She didn't want to be alone anymore.
"You didn't tell me you were pregnant... that's why I left," she blurted hoarsely, her voice cracking. When she heard, she thought that Anu loved another, a male that could give her what a female never could. Colibri was never officially her mate, though... had they ever been exclusive? The irony was just too deep, standing here with the obvious scent of motherhood in her fur, her own pups barely four days old and waiting for her to return to them and nurse. If Anu was a spiteful creature, she would leave now, continue the cycle of abandonment. But Coli knew she was better than that. Anu had always been too good for her.
She stood awkwardly on all fours, immobilized save for the faint trembling in her fatigued limbs. She had never been more pathetic and small, with her bedraggled fur and tired bruises beneath her eyes. She had suffered a hemorrhage during the birth, and nearly bled out; she needed much rest to recover, and here she was instead, staring at a ghost from her past and waiting desperately to hear her speak. She had never been able to deny Anu -- even now the sandy-grey female held so much power over her, as though she were still the leader of a pack, and Coli her lowly underling.
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