coli doesn't play fair! :o
WC: 533
Coli had forgotten how strong the effect was. She wanted to defend herself, but she could not any longer -- all the blame for their fallout rested squarely on her shoulders. Being around this wolf from her past stripped away the lessons she had learned in the present, any confidence and assurance drifting away like autumn leaves on the crisp breeze. She was guilty and timid, eager to please the one she still saw as her leader, her savior. She could only promise to keep her distance if it would make Anu happier, bring some light back into those blue eyes. The older wolf gently rejected her offer, and there was painfully obvious relief etched into Coli's countenance as she breathed a heavy sigh. We both live here. They would see each other again, it was guaranteed.
The tension reached its breaking point as Anu walked serenely past her, and it took all Colibri's self control not to follow -- to touch her once more, remind her that this was real and their paths had finally crossed again. She wanted to bury her nose in that sandy-grey fur and drown in her perfume. After all this time, the instinct was still strong. But there was another scent intertwined there, and she was struggling to ignore it -- another woman, her jealous mind interjected, but she brushed it aside. Just a companion, a roommate, a friend of her sons, there were any number of excuses she could pretend to believe for now. Instinctively Colibri knew she no longer had the right to touch Anu, but it did not stop her from yearning for the intimacy they once shared.
"I met Alder... in the early spring, when I first... um, got back," she mumbled awkwardly, musing aloud to the open air. One of the very first souls she had spoken to since her solitary journey, and it had to be Anu's son. He had urged her to return to Crimson Dreams and find forgiveness. Would she have been welcomed if she had listened to his advice? She thought it was too late. Now she couldn't bear that thought, and she added the whisper, "He was kind to me. You raised him well."
Her voice rose in pitch, desperate to say what she was thinking before she lost her nerve, lost her chance. "I might not be enough for them, either... m-my girls..." Coli swallowed, shrinking miserably against the ground. Her eyes were shut, too ashamed to look at anything, let alone the sight of Anu walking away. "I don't want them to be like me... maybe they can look up to you..." There it was: hypocrite. She had no mate and she was pleading for Anu's guidance, the same courtesy she did not extend when she left the older wolf with her newborn sons. The irony was sickening, and she felt it; huddled against the dirt on her belly, cowering in submission. She deserved admonishment, expected it. She was a mother for all of four days, but she was so fearful she might have ruined them already. They deserved a better role model than their pathetic mother, even if Anu hated her for saying so.
.coli001 b {font-weight:bold; color:#74b09f; letter-spacing:1px; }
.coli001ooc {font-style:italic; padding:0px; font-family:Georgia, serif; font-size:12px; color:#716d76; text-align:left;}
.coli001 p {text-indent:0px; padding:5px 10px; margin:0px;}
.coli001 {margin:0 auto; width:358px; background-color:#fdfcf6; background-image:url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v121/ ... oli001.jpg); background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; border:1px solid #fdfcf6; padding: 170px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size:12px; color:#716d76; line-height:12px; letter-spacing:.5px; text-align:justify;}
</style>