we definitely need moar threads like this. <333 but I guess you can close this one if you're done!
WC: 442
Anu was too kind. She lingered and listened, even when the words upset her. She did not rise in anger, as Coli expected or even hoped for; a penitence for her sins, so that they could be absolved and forgiven. Anu was kind enough to extend her mantle of purity to the pups, who would surely appreciate her guidance as they matured. Coli dared not move, look, or speak another word. She was prostrated, laying at Anu's mercy and trying not to cry as she heard the wolfess deserting her.
She wanted to give chase. To press past the initial hurt until they could find a seed of trust again, and make this right. Perhaps even the grand romantic gesture she imagined, sweeping Anu off her feet into a kiss... But she was not that person. Colibri was the one to make promises she could not keep. She was the one to corrupt good things, defiling them with her bad luck and misery. Hadn't she already learned her lesson? She wasn't good enough for Anu. She never would be. At least the Dreamer had the good sense to run away while she still could, before she got dragged back into the mess that was Coli.
She lay there for some time, too drained by the encounter to move right away. Her daughters needed her, by now they would surely be awake, and she still needed to transport them to her home. She didn't have the strength just yet -- the anemia exhausted her so quickly, and yet even in top physical shape she doubted she could have handled this encounter any better. They weren't supposed to argue, it should have gone differently. Maybe if they hadn't been so surprised by each other... Already she was replaying everything, the cycle just didn't stop.
"Gods help me, I'm still in love with you," she groaned, burying her nose in her paws. There was so much pain between them, the gravity of their anxiety crushing both their spirits just to be near each other. They both held doubt and blame, and all the negative energy might never dissipate, she had no way of knowing. It wasn't healthy. But Coli had been ruined for other relationships, she could only love Anu -- now and forever. It was an addiction, and she did not know how to quit.
Finally, she rose stiffly to her paws, wincing at the ache in her legs. She raised her muzzle to the air and took a long draw of that scent, the perfume she had blindly followed here. Then tucking her bobtail low, she slunk away in shame to her children.
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