<333 /noms on
WC: 600
Chocolate ears perked up when she heard her name spoken from the doorway. Coli glanced to her sister without lifting her chin from her paws. Lilin seemed brighter by the day, uplifted by the returned health of her offspring and the easy weather following the hurricane. Coli wavered, hesitating before she answered. She almost said no reflexively, the stubbornness ingrained in her. She did not have the energy or desire to go outside, but it was difficult to turn Lilin down, especially since the Virding could be very insistent. She did miss the walks they took when they were pregnant, the bond they had formed during that time. There was a lot she wanted to talk about now, but she wasn't sure how to even begin. "...All right," she agreed dully, rising stiffly to her four paws. Thank you for not giving up on me, she added silently.
The small wolf padded into the foyer of the grand home, and was greeted by the sight of the cousins assembled in a flock. She liked seeing the six puppies together, a patchwork of colors rolling and playing. The world outside would be filled with so many new things for them. There was a gentle smile on her face, her bobtail stirring as she watched for a long moment. She really did love children, and now her heart was filled with love for her own brood, even if she had not figured out how to show it properly yet. That confused and frightened part of her mind wanted to distance herself from them, worried that they would turn out wrong and she would be the cause. The Virdings were a security net, a positive presence to balance out Colibri. The smile faltered, becoming a concerned frown as she realized how wrong that sounded. She needed to love them as much as two parents, not ignore them the way her father had done to her and Cercelee. Or could he have possibly felt the same way, once upon a time...? The thought made her shudder.
Their pups were still too young to understand the conversation, and Saul was typically out and about during the day. Coli was at least comfortable enough to voice some of her thoughts. She cleared her throat awkwardly, unsure how to begin. "Was there ever anyone before Saul...?" she asked faintly, wincing as she regretted it. Colibri and Lilin were both private people, and rarely delved into their pasts, even with each other. It wasn't necessary; who they were today mattered more than where they came from. But it was the past that was causing so much conflict in Coli now, and she wondered if Lilin had ever experienced anything like this. Did she ever want to change everything about herself, step out of her skin and become someone else entirely?
"Never mind, you don't have to answer that. I just... I need you to be honest with me about something." She scuffed her paw near the door, turning back to look to her daughters. She should probably shift up and carry them, she was no longer too weak to change forms. She knew they would trundle right out the door once it was opened, though, their instinct was to gravitate toward bright lights. Their clumsy movements were so charming, but they grew so fast already. Soon they would look to her to learn everything, and Coli did not know what to teach them. At least they could learn from her mistakes.
"There's somebody who joined Vinátta recently that I... that I knew from a long time ago..."