She had long feared that something was wrong with her, and now she knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Some nights were harder than others, but this was the worst she'd ever been, and the sad irony was that things had been going better for her recently, and she had no reason to feel this way, to this crushing degree.
She felt the icy sadness clawing through her chest, a tightness that closed her throat and stung her eyes, a weariness that cast a pall on all her heavy heavy limbs. It was too much, oh, the stress of it all was too much to bear any longer. Stumbling through the doorway of her empty house, she ran and ran and ran through the night, numb as the shadows closed around her. She could take no more of this constant anxiety, the feeling that she was suffering when no wrongs had been dealt to her in some time. Why did she feel so achingly lonely, when she knew full well that people cared about her? Why didn't it matter? What was broken, so that it did not register within her? Something was wrong, wrong with her, it could not be fixed, it was too hard to deal with!
Stopping to gasp for breath, the earthy-brown werewolf bent over double, feathery mane drifting to obscure her view. She had crossed over the Dahlian border some time ago; her packmates would not know to look for her here. The salty scent of the ocean filled her wet nostrils; it was writhing below the cliff she stood atop, moonlight glinting on its turbulent waters and the black sands of the beach. She wanted to change, but it was impossible. She had cut her mane, she had left the packlands to seek new faces, she had even tried to mend her relationship with Cercelee, but nothing made it go away, nothing made the pain in her chest stop. It was driving her mad. Was this what Haku Soul dealt with, the reason he lashed out and inflicted pain and felt nothing in return? Had he corrupted her mind from the start, leaving her to deteriorate into a shell of numbness? She could take it no longer. And the cool silver rays of moonlight glinted on nature's answer for her: there was a flower for everything.
The slender werewolf dropped to her knees at the cliff's edge, cradling the delicate violet flowers between her claws. They were small and many to a stalk, star-shaped, with a promising dash of yellow at their centers. "...Nightshade," she whispered lovingly. She had wanted it in her garden for so long, but it had eluded her... and now, it had come to her as if in a dream. Something to quell the throbbing ache, to lend a merciful end to the illness of her mind. Gently, so as not to harm the generous plant, Colibri Haki nipped a single stalk with one purple flower, letting it fall into her palm. Closing her eyes, calling to mind the images of her handsome brothers, Conor and Emwe; her caring relatives, Mew and Cercelee; and her first love, Anu... A silent apology for having burdened them...
...she swallowed the nightshade.