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Phoenix!
A lot of things had changed, it seemed. And he didn’t think he was being melodramatic for thinking so. The thing that was bothering him the most was that his memories of his twin sister were steadily fading away. He remembered the fun he’d had with her, but aside from that, now he couldn’t even recall what she looked like. He supposed it was good that the wound left by Firefly’s kidnapping had more or less healed over – but did that mean he would have to forget her? He didn’t know. And his mother had gone, too, some time ago, to look for Firefly – he wasn’t sure that either of them would come back.
The snowfall was steady, falling thick and fast. He could make out the shapes of the flakes, large and irregular, unlikely to add any depth to the snow already on the ground. Once again, the boy found himself by the brook that ran through Storm. It was still frozen, but its banks were lined with a layer of slush that was fun to step in – though after having played in it for several minutes, his paws were wet and cold. He backed into the dryer snow, stretching out on his belly to warm up. He loved this stream – it was so peaceful, and it made him think of Moon, for it was where he had last seen his older brother.
Kansas found comfort in the fact that Phoenix, Icarus, and Ember were still around. He didn’t know what he would have done if any of them had disappeared, too. He depended on them to feel a part of something – they were his family, after all. Soon, he would be learning to shift alongside his siblings – he awaited that day with excitement and anticipation. Questions about it buzzed in his mind now more than ever. However, the best part was that Phoenix would be there to coach them. Kansas sighed comfortably, having soothed himself in thinking of the future, and of finally growing up like he so hurriedly wished to do.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">Had the massive male really reached his pinnacle? Just a couple months ago, his family had been massive. Not once had all of his eight children ever been all together at one point in time, but his family had been undeniably huge and he had been happy. Now it seemed like he was losing his family all over again, one member at a time. Those who were still around were growing up and spending more time away from him and out in the world. Soon they would be adults, and he wondered how many would leave the valley all together to start new lives of their own, as Sun had? Firefly was becoming a faint memory to her siblings, he could see it in their eyes, and he wished Iskata would return to the three children here before the same thing happened to her.
But this only made the father more intent to cherish the children he had while they were still around, and hopefully teach them the importance of staying close to the rest of their family. Phoenix didn’t know much about his own origin, but his father had been a wanderer. And wanderlust seemed to be hereditary amongst the Sadiras. Hopefully, though, his boys were more Phoenix and Sadira, at least in this aspect. Now that he was fully recovered from his illness he intended to make up for lost time with his boys and daughter. Gilder, the youngest and most recent addition to the family, seemed elusive, perhaps frightened by the drama of the past weeks. Ember, too, had hard to pin down lately, as active as she was.
But off in the distance near the river was Kansas, and Phoenix eagerly increased his pace to close the gap between them. Even though they all slept together in the same den there was little opportunity for personal time amongst the other members of the pack. Pilot and Dierdre seemed to have the right idea going back to their own den, but he still worried for their safety each evening. “What’s on your mind, son?” he asked to announce his presence. Exactly when had Kansas gotten so big? | [/html]
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Boredom began to cause his eyes to wander. They settled on an oddly coloured stone across the stream, and there they rested, tracing the strange patterns and colors, until he noticed the shape blur into one small mass of gray, blue, and black. His thoughts began to wander to the strange realms of sleep, and he thought he saw flashes of a face similar to his own… Iskata’s? Like the stone that had caused him to drift away, her face was blurred and unclear, which bothered him. He opened his eyes again and shook his head, clearing it of the tiredness that had suddenly come upon him. How frustrating – he still got so tired. And that meant he was still a child!
He sat up at the sound of snapping twigs - the stride he heard was unmistakably his father’s. It seemed as though it had been a long while since he’d properly spoken to Phoenix. And he didn’t blame his father at all. A lot had been going on lately: the avalanche, and his getting pneumonia (Kansas still hadn’t figured out exactly how that had happened). Then there were the usual difficulties of winter… of course, he had nothing to compare this winter to, but he had noticed that things seemed a lot harsher. Kansas had had plenty of opportunities to speak meaningfully to his father, but, not wanting to pester, he had passed them all up.
He turned to face Phoenix, and immediately the huge mocha form and gentle voice soothed the boy. Kansas smiled a little, gazing at his father solemnly. Now seemed like the perfect time for Kansas to talk to his papa about the things that were troubling him."A lot…" He didn’t want to totally unload… unreasonable babbling wasn’t something Phoenix needed right now. "I miss Momma. And …I had a question."
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">He couldn’t believe two weeks had passed by while he was asleep. Two weeks was a long span of time, and a lot could happen. Like a surreal dream, his children had all seemed slightly bigger in what had seemed to him like a blink of the eye. Moon and Deirdre had taken good care of them, which made him proud, but what had he lost out on? And what if he had actually passed away, leaving his children forever without him? With Iskata gone, he was their only parent, and he knew all too well the horrors of losing both parents. Phoenix could never deprive his children of that so long as he could help it. So long as he had children that needed him, he would fight to survive and never give up. They were his inspiration, his reason to live.
Settling down next to his son, Phoenix swiveled his head down and planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. His sons would never be too old for public displays of affection, or even just displays of affection, period. “So do I,” he said, referring his mate and Kansas’ mother. She had been gone too long… and knowing her, she probably hadn’t given up the search for their lost child yet. She had a stubborn streak longer than Storm’s river… and she had passed it along to Icarus. Kansas, though, was a bit more docile like him.
“Whatcha got on your mind, melisse?” he asked, using his favorite Russian-language nickname for the boys—it meant “little man,” which was what they were turning out to be. Pretty soon he would have to give his boys “the talk,” and it occurred to him that maybe this was what Kansas was about to ask him about. Hmm. He hadn’t given it before. Moon had pretty much figured it out on his own, especially after walking in on him and Iskata… probably during Kansas’ own conception. “Anythin’ you wanna know I’ll be happy t’ answer.” | [/html]
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Haha, that post was cute.
It had been such a scare to have his father sick for so long. As soon as Kansas heard what had happened, he had been terrified, and Phoenix lying helplessly in the chamber of their pack den had been one of the hardest things to see. Naniko had been there to help, which was at the time a great comfort to Kansas, and probably to everyone else there. Still, Phoenix had been down for quite some time, and, being a worrisome child, Kansas had been concerned that even with Naniko’s instructions, his Papa wouldn’t pull through. He, Icarus, and Ember would have been left alone forever.
He often wondered how Phoenix was dealing with their mother’s absence… Kansas didn’t quite know what it was like to be without a mate, as he’d never had a relationship like that. He imagined, however, that it had to be extremely difficult; especially since none of them knew when Iskata was going to return… if at all. But as always, his father was keeping his life in motion; still his calm, protective, gentle self, there for Kansas and his siblings no matter what. Kansas’ admiration was heightened even more, impossible as that seemed.
Well, Kansas had been thinking about what Phoenix had guessed a little bit. He did intend to ask his father about it, when he was feeling courageous. But for now, he wanted to know all about shifting – it seemed like the more comfortable topic of discussion. "I was wondering about shifting. Does…does it hurt? And when can I do it?" He tried to restrain the excitement in his voice, but failed miserably.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">Danke. I always enjoy your posts as Kansas as well.
It was difficult going on without Iskata. Phoenix had come to see his mate as an extension of himself—and now he felt incomplete without her by his side. Sometimes at night he thought he could feel her presence in his dreams, but he didn’t know if it was their psychic rapport actually connecting them… or just his imagination stimulated by wishful thinking. But when he just now admitted to their son that he missed her, it was the first time. He tried to put on a brave face in front of their pups because they relied solely on him for strength now.
But he also relied on his children for strength. Without them and the rest of a pack he didn’t have a reason to go on. Dedicating his life to the benefit of others had always been his preferred way of coping with loneliness. When he busied himself with the welfare of others he didn’t have time to think about his own troubles. He feared the day that he lost such reasons to go on, but if that ever happened he would just have to find someone else to help. “Shiftin’?” he repeated with a laugh. “I thought you were gonna ask me ‘bout somethin’ else.” He was slightly relieved, but he would have to have that discussion with Kansas and Icarus inevitably. Ember would have to get it from someone else, possibly her older sister. Phoenix didn’t know exactly what to tell a little girl.
“It don’t hurt at all… might feel a little funny, ‘specially your first time, but it don’t hurt. You should be able t’shift by now… but some wolves don’t do it ‘til their a year old. I was ‘round your age when I first did it, if I remember right. Moon did it when he was a little younger’n you.” he had used his telepathy to help Deirdre master shifting young… but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to indulge his other children that way. Phoenix was glad to help his progeny, but this was something that was best mastered on their own. “Try it. Shut your eyes an’ concentrate on makin’ your body stretch out. Let’s see what happens, eh?” | [/html]
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I’m sorry for the wait. I got grounded. And it’s short.
Kansas wouldn’t have been disappointed had his father broken down at the mention of Iskata. He didn’t understand exactly the benefits of releasing one’s sorrows, but he did remember that it always felt good to cry when he was upset, rare as it was that he shed tears now. He had seen enough of his father to know that if he showed a bit of the hurt Kansas knew he was feeling, Phoenix was still strong. It had been a good thing to tell his son that he missed his mate – in fact, it was reassuring. Kansas felt much less like a whiny baby for the sadness he was feeling toward his mother’s and sister’s disappearances.
Still, he was happy to see Phoenix laugh; Kansas just couldn’t imagine what it was Phoenix had expected. The boy shrugged to himself, still gazing up at his papa, awaiting instructions. As his father spoke, he grew more and more nervous. What if he proved to be a disappointment, and couldn’t do this at all? He wanted to shift successfully so badly. He nodded, and closed his eyes, trying to imagine his limbs elongating and his body taking the humanlike form of the Optime. But his thoughts wandered to his siblings, if they had done this before, and if he was the last one to try it out… thus, without the focus, Kansas remained the same.
He opened his eyes, but they were downcast with shame. Nothing happened…
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">The day he’d shifted was a vivid memory in Phoenix’s mind. That was the day he’d transformed from prey into predator. A lynx had been trying to make a meal of him and chased him into a old hollowed-out log. Phoenix squeezed in and tried to stay out of the vicious feline’s razor-sharp reach, but the stress of the moment triggered his first transformation. By the time he was done, he had become a disoriented little optime, trapped inside the log. However, realizing something was different, Phoenix managed to break out of the rotting wood easily. Out emerged a different creature that had gone in and the Lynx hesitiated—but still leapt at him. Instinctively Phoenix swung at it with an arm and sent it flying into a boulder. It survived, but wanted nothing more to do with him and ran away, leaving Phoenix to marvel at his newfound strength.
Sometimes it happened on its own, sometimes young wolves had to trigger it themselves. Everyone had a different story, and Phoenix didn’t want to pressure Kansas into doing something before he was ready. That was the marvel of watching pups grow up, observing them as they gradually changed into the adults they were destined to be. Thus far Phoenix was proud of Kansas for being who he was. Quiet, thoughtful, observant—these were all good qualities to be. He just didn’t think he had to spell it out for his son because he thought it was obvious how much he loved him.
“No rush,” he said, trying to be comforting. “It’ll happen soon enough. Sometimes it jus’ happens on its own. I wasn’t even tryin’ t’shift when it happened t’ me th’ first time.” | [/html]
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He had known very little about shifting before now. He hadn’t known what caused it, if it was painful, or how it was done – and it all seemed very scary to him. A lot of things were scary, but shifting was different because it was something he knew he had to face. However, Phoenix had given him all he wanted to know, and he was very soothed. He’d been absolutely certain that he had greatly disappointed his father, but now he knew that it would be okay. There were plenty of chances to shift, and lots of time. He had hoped vainly that maybe he’d be the first of his littermates to fully shift, but now he realized that it didn’t really matter who did it first.
He grinned, though his father’s words caused more questions to pop into his head almost instantly. He wondered first how shifting could just happen… maybe stress was a cause, or when one was feeling an emotion especially strongly. More importantly, Kansas wanted to know about Phoenix’s first time. "What happened when you first did it?" He hungered for another one of his father’s stories. His eyes glittered with anticipation and his tail began to wave slightly. How he did love stories.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">What else do you want them to do? I’m enjoying this thread too much to end it now.
Barring something really outrageous like becoming a serial killer, Kansas probably couldn’t do anything that would lower Phoenix’s regard for him. This boy staring at him was his son, even if he didn’t really look like it. Every time he looked at Kansas, or Icarus, or Ember, he felt a sense of awe when he considered how they had his blood flowing through their veins. With Icarus and Ember it was much more apparent; with Kansas it was just hidden. But that perhaps only increased the sense of awe when he looked at the boy who looked so much like his mother. Would any of them become more like him when they were older? Would they be telepaths, or have manes that stayed out even when unshifted? Time would tell. At least they had him to blaze the trail for them and guide them through the changes that had frightened him so much as an unguided adolescent.
Childhood stories were never anything Phoenix found pleasure in or reminiscing about. He didn’t particularly enjoy talking about his youth to his progeny; Iskata always had more pleasant stories to tell them. But there was no denying Phoenix’s stories were much more exciting, and sometimes he managed to look past the trauma and feel flattered that his children had so much interest. The patriarch looked amusedly at his son for a minute before he began telling the tale. He loved them so much—and he hoped that they would never leave him, like Firefly did. He didn’t want to keep them from growing up and living their own lives, but he hoped that they would live them out here with him.
When he was done he cleared his throat and stood back up, leaning into the river for a drink. He was enjoying watching his children grow up and develop into full individuals with their own personalities and characteristics. “Anythin’ else you wanna know?” he asked, hoping for a yes. His knowledge was there for his son’s benefit. All he had to do was ask. Right now he knew he was a king in his children’s eyes and he reveled in their admiration. It would diminish with time, he knew, but he planned to maintain being their hero for as long as he could. | [/html]
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Aw, I'm flattered that you're liking this thread. ♥ Hmm... I can't think of anything interesting at the moment. Maybe they could just catch up for a while? Or Kansas could show Phoenix how he can read.
His father’s story was so very exciting – Kansas’ eyes were wide, and he chewed his lip at the more frightening parts; though the whole experience sounded like a harrowing one. He couldn’t imagine being chased by a lynx as a youngster, knowing that your life could very well end in its jaws. He gulped when his Papa was through, as if he were reliving the tale himself… he hated how tense he had become, but he was a frightful boy, shameful as this was to admit. That sounds horrible, he said, hoping saying so did justice to the story. Phoenix had rather sad tales, but admittedly, they were exciting.
He had a lot of questions to ask his father, from simple ones like why it rained to those that were more complex, such as things regarding his adolescence and if Phoenix thought Firefly would ever return. The last one he had asked many times, and always got the same answer. All of his questions seemed stupid to him, and he didn’t feel like making his father listen to him. He finally came up with something that he thought Phoenix would enjoy being asked, and smiled as he spoke. Aren’t you glad Moon is back? I sure am… At least he had returned. Kansas only wished for the same thing with his mother and two sisters.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">That’ll do.
Such horrors Phoenix had survived, but he had not come out completely unscathed. He’d been mildly traumatized by his ordeals by the time he came into Storm, certainly not the same rough-and-tumble pup who had gone into the fires. The fact that his children couldn’t fathom the terror he’d felt meant that Phoenix had done his job, protected them from harm and raised them in a loving environment. He didn’t want his children to be in danger, and while he admittedly sheltered them a little, they would still be capable of taking care of themselves by the time they were old enough to live independently from him… not that he wanted that to happen for a while.
He worried constantly for the ones he couldn’t watch over. He didn’t even know if Firefly was still alive out there, and that would haunt him until the day he died. At least he knew where Sun had gone—she had promised to return someday, but it had been almost seven months without a word from her. Moon’s failure to find her had done little to alleviate his concerns, and it had only meant that he’d missed his chance to watch his oldest son develop into his fine male he was becoming. Moon had chanced quite significantly during his time away, most of it fortunately for the better. But the fact that someone else had finally managed to coax Moon out of his shell, when Phoenix had tried and failed, made him slightly jealous.
But he could not deny that he was happy for his son. “Me too,” he said. “Have you two spent any time t’gether? You used t’ idolize him when you were smaller.” | [/html]
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Sorry for the wait. Finals are soon. 
Kansas couldn’t imagine what his father had been through in his lifetime. He had no way of guessing, either – Phoenix did a good job of hiding the things he didn’t want his children to know. He seemed happy most days, but there were times when Kansas could tell his father was thinking hard about something – and maybe some of those times, it was of his past. It made the boy sad to know that maybe his father was in pain and he didn’t know it – he wondered if his brother and sister felt the same way. At least Phoenix kept his pups protected from knowledge that could hurt them.
He still hadn’t quite figured out the details of Moon’s absence. It didn’t matter to him, honestly – he was just glad that his brother was finally home. Kansas thought back to the day by the creek and grinned, his tail (which was steadily filling out) waving with the memory. He was proud to have a decent answer for his father this time, instead of his usual meek “no”. "Yeah! I talked to him a while ago. He told me about how he was saved by someone named Roman when he got hurt. It would be really awful if he hadn’t been saved. I think I still look up to him…" It was true. He wanted to be just like Moon when he was older.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">It’s okay. If you have time, you should join us in the family thread… or perhaps we should just finish this one so you have the time?
Moon talked about Roman often… and even emulated some of his behavior, apparently. It was enough to make Phoenix feel slightly jealous at times. He wondered if Moon had ever talked to Roman about him as enthusiastically as he spoke of the black male. After all, Phoenix wasn’t truly Moon’s father… he sometimes worried that the young male would rebuff him in favor of someone he admired more. Even if that did happen though, Phoenix would always consider the boy he raised his son to some extent. He owed this Roman a debt of gratitude for saving his boy’s life, and if he ever did show up, like Moon said he would, he would be gracious to the other male.
Phoenix never had to worry about his paternal ties to his other two sons, Icarus and the boy right next to him. No matter what happened, the bonds between father and sons couldn’t be denied there. He wanted the best for all his children, as was glad they had each other to help each other out. “Mebbe he could help you with your readin’,” Phoenix suggested. He knew Kansas had been trying to learn. His own mastery over that skill was slight at best, and he would in no way teach it to others. That was what he had counted on Iskata for, and his older, adopted children could help. “He taught himself for th’most part, y’know. …How’re you comin’ along?” He was not the kind to shun a skill just because he couldn’t do it. Books provided a glimpse into a whole bigger world that was just out of his reach. It made him happy to think that his own children weren’t deprived. | [/html]
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Sounds rad! You can post once more if you want, or just archive it. We can do a fade-to-black, where they go read some.  This thread was fun!
Kansas hadn’t really considered the possibility that Moon had come to see Roman as more of a fatherly figure than he saw Phoenix. Since learning of Roman, he had thought that the two were just friends, not really knowing how old Roman was. The boy had assumed Roman was on the younger side, perhaps around the same age as Moon himself. Kansas knew Moon loved Phoenix – he had to, after being more or less raised by him. Icarus and Kansas would always see Phoenix as their only father – he had been there from the beginning, and in Kansas’ mind, always would be.
Kansas had been careful to read around his father to provoke compliments and praise, and he was so glad Phoenix really had noticed his studying. He wanted to be able to read and write well by the time he was an adult, and so far, things were going well. He grinned widely before answering, excitement making his voice tremble a bit. It seemed he was still trying to get a handle on his emotions – but this was a big thing for him. Reading was something he knew he could be good at, and this made him proud. "Yeah! I would love for him to help me. Naniko can’t be here all the time, so that would be great." He smiled more widely at the mention of his crush. "Papa, do you want to go back to the den and I’ll show you what I can read now?"
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