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Heeeeeey 
The night was giving way to the dawn, the sun beginning to rise slowly over the horizon, breaking through a gap in the snow clouds briefly. The more hardy birds, the ones who had not left for the warmer Southern regions over Winter were beginning to awake and call out to one another from the boughs of the bare trees, devoid of their leaves. The slight warmth of the sun was not enough to counter the chill wind that was rushing through the lands.
The breeze ruffled Soran's fur as she walked across the lands, she had awoken far too early, another dream, filled with bizarre images of pups racing about and chasing her. Colours had swirled around her, flashing images of the pups falling into pits and drowning in rivers had flooded her mind, the tempestuous dream had been accompanied by an odd screeching sound that had remained ringing in the dark fae's ears long after she had woken up. The dreams were getting more and more bizarre, and even more vivid, she was becoming worryingly accustomed to being jolted awake in a fierce panic and a cold sweat. She just wished she knew what they meant, perhaps they were something to do with her own guilt at having left her babes behind, only to discover upon her return that two had disappeared and her eldest boy had lost a leg after a terrible incident, she hoped that that was all it was, that it was not hiding something darker beneath its surface. Once the dark lady had been awake, she was unable to go back to sleep, unwilling to return to the lands of her dreams, not wanting to see the barren and brutal landscape and the horrors that had befallen the small wolf pups there.
And so, unable to return to sleep for she doubted it would do her any good, she had gotten up and started her trek from what seemed to have become her home, the Moaning Woods, up to the river. She had been intending to go there and find a place where the ice had melted or was thin enough to break with her heel and do some fishing, she still had some wire and she was sure there'd be a stick that would suffice as a pole. But when she had arrived at the fast flowing water, she had found herself jumping the gap neatly, and continuing on, following her feet up to Jaded Shadows, not really thinking about going there until she arrived at the borders. The ebony fae paused, brushing a long strand of her mane from out of her face with her hand, staring into the Jaded Shadows lands, she knew that Lucifer and Deuce lived here now, her meeting with the obsidian male had let her know that much, underneath the strong scent of alcohol had been the more subtle one of these pack lands, and Deuce would have followed her mate here as well, Soran knew her former lover, she gave herself to those she loved entirely and without question, she would have joined him here. Slipping her canvas bag from her shoulder and dropping it by a large rock, the dark lady moved to lean against a tree, her jade eyes roving the lands, her ears swivelling as she sought out any sound that might alert her to another wolf being nearby, perhaps a member of the pack who could let her know if her pale angel lived within these borders.
Finally Soran decided that her gut instinct was probably right, Deuce would have come with Lucifer to reside within these borders. Raising her dark head slowly, the ebony lady let out a tentative call for her former lady, hoping that she would get a response
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Out again. She had the letter opener in her bag. It was never far from her anymore. The closer it was to her, the less she could hear erik. And she didn't want to hear Erik anymore. She couldn't deal with him, and Lucifer. Lucifer, her mate, spent more and more time away from her now. Ever since her miscarriage, since Shadow's murder.
She felt guilty for Shadow's death. If she'd only watched the boy closer. he was the sole survivor of his litter, and he was dead now. All her pups she'd birthed, and one survived. Dierdre. Thanos's daughter. Her daughter. The daughter who was going to have her own pups.
A scent. Soran? The wan fey looked up, looked around. There. A howl ensured that she was certain. Soran. Something ached in the pale woman's heart. The desire to be loved, really loved. Not ignored. Needed, not pushed away. She moved faster, then halted. Was it fair to lucifer to run back to the dark female? Did it matter? Lucifer would never really forgive her for the loss of their pups. Not really. That was the reason she drank her tea every day. to prevent pups. Goldenthread to prevent pregnancy. And a splash of whiskey to get through the day.
She continued to hesitate, then moved forward at a slower walk. She peered warilly around, then approached Soran, who's back was to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn't come. She closed her mouth, tried again. Soran....
Credit to Misery!
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The lack of a responding howl had caused Soran to worry slightly, she wondered if it had been a stupid idea to even come here, Deuce may not want to see her after she had left yet again without warning. Besides she was just setting herself up for yet more heartache, when she was truly honest with herself she knew that she was still in love with the pale lady, despite knowing that she had a new mate, one whom she must love deeply, for that was her pale angel's nature. A nervous feeling began to rise in the ebony fae's chest as she leant against the tree, knowing with each second that passed that she was being foolish just by being here, Deuce wouldn't want to see her, and most certainly didn't love her anymore. And yet there was still that ache when she thought of the pale lady late at night, that need just to see her, to be around her, to be able to breath in her soft scent and to know that she was hers. But that was a fanciful dream, never to be a reality. Nerves caused Soran to pick at her sharp nails, cleaning them simply for the want for something to do while she waited, all the while wondering whether or not she should leave.
Then, after what seemed an eternity, though it had only been a few moments in reality, behind her a soft voice spoke. The dark lady's heart jumped erratically as the soft tones were caught by her ears, just hearing Deuce say her name was bliss, exquisite agony in knowing that she loved this lady and couldn't have her. She turned slowly, a smile catching her lips as her eyes fell upon the pale lady.
"Deuce, it's good to see you again." Soran said weakly, her smile more nervous now that she was talking to the lady. "How have you been?" She managed to add, after a moment's awkward pause.
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Friggin blaze table is showing weird. Do you see an image on my blaze table? (the other one I responded with?)
There she stood, her dark lady. Soran spoke, and Deuce listened. And then she was expected to reply. The art of conversation. Too long. It had been too long. She gave a slow smile. The bag was heavy, it seemed as if she carried all her sins, all her burdens, not just herbs, a bottle of whiskey, and a letter opener. She pulled her mind from the abstracted state it lingered in.
I'm...okay. Been better I suppose. Was that her voice, sounding so...normal? She'd been a wraith, a shade....was it Soran making her feel more real, or was it her inate desire to impress just how okay she was on everyone? She looked at the jade-eyed woman silently.
Shadow died. Blunt, open, honest. No hint of how horrific that day had been, not a breath of how devastating it had been to find her young son mangled and mutilated, pissed on by a coyote. And the boy hadn't been given a clean death- no. He'd been torn to pieces, then left to bleed out, left alone in pain.
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Nope, no image on that table :S
Soran took the time between her queries and Deuce's reply to scan the pale lady's face with her eyes. She was as beautiful as she had ever been, there was something in her eyes, something saddened, broken, so like the expressions she used to show, but it did not mar her radiance. If anything it made the ebony fae just want to throw herself at her former lover, to hold her in her arms and never let her go, to protect her from everything that had been troubling her. Soran vaguely wondered where Lucifer was, he had been in a bad way last time she had seen him, inebriated and seemingly out of it, had he not being paying attention to his mate? Had he been neglecting her? The very thought of this sickened the jade eyed lady, for if she found herself with the opportunity to have her lady back she would protect her and love her and cherish every moment they spent together. The pale fae was so broken, she seemed so empty, Soran wanted to reach out and touch her, just to connect, her slender ebony fingers twitched at her side, curling slightly and stretching out, wanting to reach out and place themselves on her former lover's shoulder, her hand, anywhere, most of all they wanted to push themselves into the warm mass of her former lover's mane, but she knew that she must not, Deuce was no longer hers, she no longer had the right to touch the pallid goddess.
Then Deuce spoke and Soran's heart plummeted from her chest into her feet. Shadow was dead, it was true that the dark lady had not known the similarly coloured male well, in fact she had barely known him at all, her contact with Deuce's second litter had been brief and sporadic, but still the child of the creature she loved most in this world was dead, she wanted to help the pale lady tear the world down, to make it pay for letting him go. The slender ebony lady knew how it felt to worry about a child when they went missing, and how seeing your child injured filled you with rage and sorrow. Soran knew what it was like to lose a child, her small girl had died just minutes after her birth, that grief had almost killed the sable female, so she could barely imagine the pain that Deuce, who had had time to form a real relationship with her son, who had seen him grow and learn and become someone with his own personality and views, was going through.
Finally, after agonising moments of silence, where Soran couldn't speak, couldn't move, her mind was trying to comprehend the information, trying to form some sort of comforting phrase that would sound sincere without sounding like some kind of advance at the grieving mother. Slowly, tentatively she reached out, her long fingers closing around her former lover's shoulder.
"Deuce... Deuce I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how much pain you must be going through. How did he die?" She asked quietly, having to close her mouth quickly before words that she was no longer allowed to say to her former lover came tumbling from her dark lips, I'll look after you love, anything, anything you ever need I'll be here, I'll keep you safe, hold you when you cry, we can get through this, together.
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Oh well. Time to throw it away i guess. LOL
She looked at her dark angel quietly, aching. it hurt to give those words to the dark woman, hurt to talk about it. I'm not sure how it happened....but a coyote....killed him. Tore him up real bad. She had to look away, couldn't look at Soran, didn't have to wrds to explain just how bad it had been. her chest hitched as Soran laid a hand on her shoulder.
Lucifer and I buried him...at my den with the others...along with the pups I lost that day...I'd been pregnant, but I misscarried. Her voice broke, and she flung her arms around Soran, sobbing. I lost my pups and my mate all in the smae day! Lucifer hates me, Soran! he hates me for losing our pups!
She didn't even think after that, just clung to the one who [used to] love her, weeping bitterly.
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