who am I without you?

Alder · 12-09-2010, 03:08 PM

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sad Alder is sad

Alder stood in the doorway of the room he still shared with his mother. Even in his seated wolf form his head hovered over the mid point of the frame. His ears turned, a scattering and scuttling sound from inside the wall telling him of a mouse that had found the warmth of the Manor a pleasant place to spend the winter. The large adolescent leaned against the door, his breathing heavy and long and drawn out in a sigh.

Though the words of his brother were simply that, Alder could hardly get them to leave his mind. No matter how minor they seemed to be to another the male knew how much more then meant beyond the syllables that could be heard. His heart was heavy, knowing that his courage was a small and even possibly non-existent thing just as he had been told.

Was it wrong to be so content in his home? And yet this was not contentment, merely comfort in habit. Was it wrong that he wished more nothing more then his mother’s company just as he had it when he was small enough to fit into the crook of her arm? The thoughts weighed down his mind, but when he heard the elder female’s stirring he turned to face his once slumbering mother. Thoughts were banished. He waited for her in the early hours of the morning as he did each and every day. They would patrol, perhaps venture into the garden, nap in the Sun’s light and then talk about the way of different animals, or of plants or the moon.

His masked face met the silver and tan of his beloved mother, Good Morning. He said as he did everyday with a meek smile. But there was something in her eyes, something that hid in the deep water-hued pools. But he did not question her, waiting for her to exit the room so that he could follow her just as he always did. But she did not leave, or respond with the normal Good morning that she always gave. He knew something was wrong, and he feared for her health. Are you well? He asked, searching her normally calm eyes and found something he didn’t understand.

The mother knew not what to say, her shadow looking to be merely what he had grown up to be and follow her from the moment the day begun. The words needed to be found, and there was guilt and pain in her heart. She had created this dependence, knowing that it was because of her attachment to the tree-named pup that had caused him to be so used to their routine. No, She closed her eyes for a prolonged blink and then opened them to speak. I want you to go alone Alder. She had encouraged him before, but never with the force of her rank in her voice to back it up. Bring something back, something for the new pups to eat. Her tone was softer now, a request and not a demand.

His tail was low as he walked away, ears flattened too. He didn’t know what to say, and so words would not come. Long legs took him though the door, heart breaking slightly as he left his mother behind and trotted into the cold alone and with a mission that he knew he could not complete. It was just a simple fact, he would never be able to do such a thing without her held.

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