Hi there! :>
You've got the joining form and post itself right! There are just a few things I'd like to talk to you about before I accept you to the game.
We've gathered that English may not be your first language? If that's the case, it's fine! We have plenty of English as a Second Language speakers here. :> We're willing to work with you to help improve your writing skills as we are with any other member.
That being said, there are a few grammatical errors with your profile we'd like to see fixed before you join up in-game. Most of the problems I see are relative to tense; you seem to understand that we write in the past tense here (lived, walked, howled) rather than the present tense, but there are a few mechanical errors. For example,
Quote:she spend 5 months with her parents in a lupus pack, only her parents were lupercis, they live like normal wolves hunting with teeths and claws.
Should read more like, "
She
spent 5 months with her parents in a lupus pack
. Only her parents were lupercis, they
lived like normal wolves, hunting with
teeth and claws." In addition to the tense problem, you should be more careful about proper capitalization.
Your spelling isn't bad at all, and I know English can be really awkward with the irregular words (tooth and teeth, for example).
Additionally, there are some places in your profile that could use some spacing. After a colon -- the : character -- you should have a space before your next word. So, for example:
Quote:Optime form:the fur is lighter than lupus form and have belly lighter than rest of fur, hair in head grows and almost always she combs it in a ponytail...
This should read more like, "Optime
form: the fur is lighter than lupus form and
has a belly lighter than
the rest of
her fur
. The hair on her head grows and almost always she combs it in a ponytail..." I've fixed the issue with the spacing after the colon, and also a few more small grammatical errors.
Another thing we'd like to see is either a bit more length in your profile sections. For example, for your
Lupus Appearance you could also discuss your character's build (is she skinny or chubby? Is she tall or short?). You can talk about her fur a bit more (is it thick or thin? Short or long? Wiry or smooth?). We like to see at least
200 words (2 paragraphs) for each section of your profile; if you could please lengthen these sections to that length? If you're having trouble,
the Modifying Your Profile topic (the first post) should help you.
I hope you find this helpful? If you could edit your profile up a little bit, we'd be happy to accept you to the game. ^_^
If you need extra help, by the way, I tried to add you to my MSN list -- my name there is
snakesblood@gmail.com so if you want to chat with me one-on-one, I'm definitely down to help you!
rofile