Tell me this will end

Anu · 01-30-2011, 01:17 PM

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Cambi!

Why was her life feeling like it was spiraling out of control? She needed to be strong, to hold the pack together beside her alphess, but there was so little time, so little energy. The female had begun to sleep more and more, as if lost in the same trance that Savina’s daughter was. When she did wake and try to begin the day the pain of her chest and the quivering of her body would hardly allow it. They, as her mind woke to the feelings of her absent Alder it was as if there could be no pain worse.

The wolfess had retreated to her room for the night, but it was too cold and once again when the Sun rose. The second in command could only bring her tired body to the fire that was almost always ablaze in the common room of the Manor. There she lay against the tattered rug that sat beside the heat. And she soaked up the warmth. Though it fought tirelessly against the chill, her chest tightened against the dry heat and he was left with a ragged cough once more.

Blue eyes closed, and she tried to focus on each ragged breath instead of the idea that she had lost two sons to the Cours pack lands.

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Cambria Marino · 02-01-2011, 02:36 AM

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Poor Anu :< 300+

Panic had devolved into a state of constant weariness as the Medicus' hope slowly was eaten away by the passing of time. There was no change in her little sister. Never any change. At least no changes that were good, or desired. The only alteration was the fact that her body mass was steadily decreasing due to the fact that the little nutrition they could give her was not enough to sustain her. Cambria's mind often turned to grim thoughts about how much time they could possibly have left before Artemis' body could simply not go on any longer. She was starting to wonder if everything but the basic functions of life had died in her brain when she had fallen. Maybe Artemis wasn't even in there anymore. Maybe they were just feeding a corpse, hoping it would come back to life. Cambria hated these thoughts and she didn't want to give them any credence, but the longer this went on, the more they seemed to be true.

Her shift with her little sister had ended, Amata having come to take over. If there was one thing to be thankful for, it was her sister's return to the pack. Cambria could not have done this on her own. There would have been no way. Tiredly she descended the stairs, ready to collapse onto the bed she shared with Mati and fall into a less than restful sleep when a cough and wheezing breath caught her ear. The Marino's head turned, and dull sea foam eyes came to focus on the form of Anu laying close to the fire. Worry clutched her heart. She knew what those sounds meant, and they were not good tidings.

The Aedile walked gingerly into the common room and came up to the elder woman, kneeling down to be more on her level. "Hi Anu," she greeted, her voice soft. "How long have you been coughing and breathing like that?" Maybe they were lucky and this had just started. Heaven knew they all could use some manner of luck, even if it were only a very small one.

Anu · 02-01-2011, 10:40 AM

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Where was Alder? She wondered, wandering if he was safe, happy. There was a heat in her chest now, and it radiated through her body. It made her light headed, and her thoughts were less controlled then normal. Where was he? Her eyes moved behind her eyelids, as if she slept and dreamt. She could see him, and her son was lost and scared and leaving the world that they knew. He was running, as if being chased by monster’s he had nightmares about.

A voice woke her, though she had not been truly sleeping. Her head rose to meet the face of her friend’s daughter and her own daughter’s mate. Cambira She spoke, glad to see the girl. She had grown so much since the winter before, and she had even stolen the heart of Mati. Such things were wonderful ones.

Her words were not entirely registered, the sickness she had slowing her mind and making her tired. Since Alder left. She replied, not know how long that was, Mati would know. She had heard the news. Its isn’t too bad. The Praetor commented, knowing that the pain of Alder’s departure was far worse. Nothing was as bad as that heartache.

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Cambria Marino · 02-01-2011, 11:41 PM

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300+

It seemed as if perhaps the elder woman had been sleeping, but her head rose once Cambria greeted her. Even if she hadn't heard her cough and her rough breathing, just from looking at her the Medicus could tell that something was not quite right with the pack's Praetor. There just didn't seem to be that same sharpness to her eyes, they seemed to track things at a slower pace than was normal. The chocolate hued fey's chest constricted. Why did this have to happen too? What had Crimson Dreams done to anger the cosmos so? It had been some time now since Alder had left, at least from her own remembrance, and she bit at her lip in worry. How had she missed this? Why hadn't Anu come to her or Amata? They were busy looking after Artemis, but time could always be made if someone else needed their help.

The tawny woman said that it wasn't that bad, but Cambria knew better. She reached out a hand to feel Anu's forehead and found it hot to the touch, hotter than it should have been. She had a fever. "I'll be right back." The Marino got back on her feet and walked into her room to grab the things that she needed. She gathered up a teacup, a strainer, water, a bowl, and her pouch of dried violet leaves. Cambi walked back out to the fire and set this all down, and then quickly retrieved a teapot and measuring cups from the kitchen. The water was poured into the kettle and set by the flames. "I think you have a cold, or some other infection. I'm going to make you this tea twice a day. It will help with the coughing, the inflammation, and the fever." The healer measured out a small amount of the dried plant and placed it in the metal straining basket.

"I'm sure you've been feeling really tired and you should sleep whenever your body wants it. That's the best thing you can do, other than to stay warm and out of the cold. No going outside until you're over this." Her sea green eyes connected with the leader's blue meaningfully. This was not a request, it was an order. As long as she took care of herself this should pass with relative ease, but if she did anything to exacerbate her condition it could turn into something much more serious.

Anu · 02-07-2011, 11:15 AM

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If the world was to be right again, and if her chest was to feel as it once had Alder would have to return. The fever was touching her thoughts enough to make her believe that was the only answer, and though she saw and spoke to Cambria she could not give her full attention to the female as Anu normally would. She lay her head down once again, the pain blossoming in her chest a she did so before subsiding to an ache. The healer was worried, but Anu could not think of anything to worry about other then the departure of her meekest son. Again she had lost a boy to the Cours pack, again she felt the same pain that she had when Haven had left. Anu should have kept Alder home, why had she sent him away?

Cambria returned, and Anu only raised her crown slightly to watch the healer work. She spoke, and Anu didn't know what she was making such a fuss over. Tea? Anu could drink teas until the end of time, but it would not make Alder return, it would not heal the others that were hurting in the packlands. It would solve nothing. Even when she saw the face of the dark brown woman, looking to the concerned sea foam green eyes she could not find the normal appreciation that she would have felt if her fever had not boiled her thoughts.

It won't bring him back. The woman said, softly. She could not feel the appreciation that she normally would, nor could she get her mind to move from this one topic. She was not well, and so her words were not proper either.

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Cambria Marino · 02-21-2011, 02:52 AM

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Sorry for the wait! 300+

It was obvious that Anu was not quite herself, the fever affecting her deeply. Normally the Medicus would have been more understanding of how this was altering the woman's thoughts and consciousness. There was nothing normal about what was going on in any of their lives right now though, and Cambria's nerves were already frayed and torn. Any other time, she would never imagine that she would raise her voice, much less yell, at the Praetor of the pack. Her mother's best friend, her mate's mother. The pressures that had been building upon her for the past days and weeks had brought her to her breaking point, and Anu's fixation on her departed son had made her patience snap like a whip. "Stop it!" she cursed, a small snarl morphing her usually soft features. Enough was enough.

"You are sick Anu. Sick. And it has nothing to do with Alder. Even if he came back, you would still be sick. Do you understand?" The healer's words were rushed, and much harsher than her voice was meant to utter. "You mothers, something happens to one of your children, and you forget about everyone else that needs you." In all honesty, Cambria hadn't blamed her mother at all for her behavior since Artemis' fall and Denali's disappearance, but deep in her heart she knew that Savina had not been as conscious of her other children and her pack's needs. Nothing bad had even happened to Alder and she was too upset to even think of understanding what the elder fey was going through emotionally. "If you give up, what do you think will happen to Alder? To Oak and Cypress? To Crimson Dreams? We need you. My mother needs you." Hot tears welled up in her eyes, her temper mixing with all of her sorrows.

The Marino girl took a deep breath, futilely trying to regain some measure of composure. "Just listen to me and drink the tea when I give it to you. Otherwise I'll tie you down and make you drink it myself, because I'm not letting anything else happen to anyone around here." They couldn't take any more hits, they just couldn't. If Anu got worse, and didn't recover, none of them would recover. They couldn't sustain her loss. Cambria knew this.

Anu · 02-21-2011, 12:12 PM

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dammmm Cambi crack that whip lol

Anu did not believe that this illness was brought of by her pushing Alder away, at least not in her lucid mind. The fey was in pain, the fever of her infection had brought on thoughts that did not make any sense and she could not control the words that she spoke, nor the ideas that were stuck in her mind so solidly. Moments ticked away, and they felt like years as they moved so slowly. She was stuck in time. Floating through the moments as her heart beat quickly in her chest, each contraction of the muscle radiating the pain through her. And if she tried to breathe, it was like a barbwire cage constricting around her lungs and throat. Such things pushed a beast to believe in the unimaginable.

The single word that was torn form the mouth of the pretty healer startled the second in command. Shaking her from her delirium and bringing her pack to more of a reality. Her blue eyes blinked at the dark hued woman's face, mouth open slightly in surprise as the words began to pour forth. She took them in, listening with a clearer mind that she had owned in days. It was a cold shower of reality, and Anu looked at the face of her leader's child, her own daughter's mate, her friend. The world was becoming tattered and frayed, and the Praetor was not helping to hold it together like she was supposed to.

Anu lifted her head, looking at the seas foam eyes that threatened tears and nodded her head. Her tongue protested the hot tea but she did not stop drinking the herbal mixture. It was not until it was half done that she paused, the heat of it clearing the tension in her chest and her thoughts. I'm sorry Cambi, grief has touched us all. She admitted, her words still touched by the fever and not formatted as fluidly as normal. The sorrow did not leave her as her symptoms did slightly, but she could see that it was time to deal with the recovery rather then just wallowing in the emotion.

300+

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Cambria Marino · 02-22-2011, 02:08 AM

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Annnnnd insta-remorse XD 300+

It was completely uncharacteristic of the shy and quiet Marino fey to comport herself in the way she was currently. True, she was always more confident and able to give orders when she was working with a patient, but she had never been so harsh to one of her charges before. Much less so that it was Anu. The silver hued woman held more status and power than the girl in every possible way, but she had been unable to hold back the torrent of words that had flowed forth from her lips. The dam had been cracking slowly ever since her little sister's fall, and the leader's delirium had made all the frustration come rushing out in one powerful tidal wave. She was not so different from the sea her eyes were the color of, at times.

Still, when she saw Anu's startled expression at her sudden and unexpected outburst, some humility came back to settle heavily in her mind. The healer watched silently as the elder wolfess drank some of the violet tea and did her best to bundle her emotions back up so they would not break loose and lash out at anyone again. At least not to the degree that they had just done to the ill Praetor. She looked into Anu's fever veiled eyes as she spoke and she further regretted her little fit. "I shouldn't have said all that, I didn't mean to snap at you," she said with an apologetic frown. "It's just been so much with Denali and Artemis...I can't help my sister. I can help you though, so I don't feel quite so useless..." There was nothing she could do for Artemis, she'd tried everything. Anu she could treat though and she wasn't about to let her get worse. The elder woman had been there for her a lot in the past, now it was her turn to do something for her in return. Cambi didn't want to imagine a life without Anu, just as she didn't want to think of a life in which her sibling never woke up.

Anu · 03-03-2011, 09:21 AM

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lol, of course!

She felt a bit more grounded, after the words of the healer had been spoken. She was no longer floating in a world of pain and sorrow but looked through a clearer eye and could even see that what she had been moaning was not exactly true. The world around them was far from perfect these days, and Anu could not help but be moved by the grief that the entire pack felt. That, with the addition of the fever did not help her in being the strong right hand of the alphess. Anu was ever grateful that Cambria had shaken her from her draze. She could begin healing with her help and her clarity.

Now, as the chocolate hued female spoke again Anu could feel that same remorse that the entire pack was feeling as of late. Blue eyes looked at the sea foam gaze that was tired and worn from sorrow. Anu took the apology and there was little need for it. The second in command knew better then to believe that Cambi was honest in her feelings that came behind those words. It was not Anu that Cambi was angry with, well at least not entirely.

Winter was not kind to them, and with Denali gone and Artemis still sleeping there would be nothing that would seem right in this world. You are far from useless. She spoke, the tea's warm already starting to clear her throat and thoughts. You have been able to do more for Artemis that anyone. Without the two sisters the pack wouldn't have know how to care for the unconscious child, Cambria needed to know that her knowledge was invaluable in this situation and many others.

All the thinking and clear speech and made her a bit tired, and the fever seemed to flare and make her light headed for a moment causing her to speak idly, This tea isn't too bad. Anu mused quietly, almost talking to herself.

300+

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Cambria Marino · 03-06-2011, 11:10 PM

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she's only got so much fire and brimstone in her lol. you got Cambi's 400th post! Big Grin 300+

It did not appear that Anu had been hurt or become offended by her harsh and brash words, and for that at least Cambria was thankful. She would have felt awful if she had wounded the elder fey's feelings. She did not understand what it was to be a mother and so could not fathom how Alder's departure affected the woman. The Marino girl was in no position to judge and was not in the habit of doing so. She only wanted to have Anu regain her health and not become worse. It made her shudder to even imagine what would happen to Crimson Dreams if she became seriously ill, or worse. It was a dystopian future that her mind immediately recoiled from. That could not happen. She could not let it.

Anu's words were kind, but the Medicus could not help but feel useless when she could not make her little sister recover from her fall. It helped, in some strange way, that Amata could not either; at least it was not just her own failing. Still, she would have gladly traded failure on both their parts for success for either of them for the alternative was so much more horrible. Maybe she was able to do more than just anyone, but, "It hasn't been enough though." Her tone was defeatist and tears stung at the corners of her sea green eyes. What she was able to accomplish now was little more than nothing, how was that of any use?

The Praetor's soft praise of the tea was nice, and made a smile tug just momentarily at her lips. However, as a healer, she could see the signs that Anu was once again feeling less like herself. "Do you feel like you could sleep? It would be good for you to. I can go find you a blanket." Now that her medicine was imbibed it would be best for the woman to rest.

Anu · 03-07-2011, 01:54 PM

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we can end here, if you'd like Smile

Why was winter so harsh? Anu was one for spring. She loved the rains that brought life and nurture to the flowers of her garden, she loved the warmth that swept over the lands like a tightly worn blanket and was not sad to see frost and snow melt away. But they were not in spring yet, still held so very tightly by the hand of winter rather then a shawl of warmth. It would be stark and dreary for many many more weeks, and the gray and tan wolfess was finding to hard to see past it’s darkness and look forward to the light of soft blue cloudless skies.

She looked at the younger female, her fever lifting and falling in waves. For the moment she saw the pretty fey as she was and understood that her talent, studies and hard work were being challenged by the mystery of Artemis. And that was all on top of the heartache and sorrow. But she was still alive from the efforts of the pack’s healers. Such a thing did mean something. It was, for the moment just enough for the sleeping girl. The end is not yet in sight Cambria. Not the end of winter, but not the end of her little sister and not the end of trying to make it right and better. There was still time, and still hope.

The elder appreciated what the Medicus could do for her and she nodded at the question. I think a nap is what I need. She then placed her head on her paws, not with a much less raspy chest and let her eyes close softly with the hope of rest. When the girl returned she would find a peacefully resting wolfess, her dreams nothing but a soft shadow of relaxation.

300+

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