J - Alone and Lonely

[Moonglow]

First character on this site. (Nervous.) If there's anything wrong, please let me know. <3

1. Character Name: Moonglow
2. Character Birthdate (including year): Spring, 2010
3. Whether s/he is a regular wolf or a Luperci : Luperci
4. Gender: Female
5. Your e-mail: Istalindir@yahoo.com
6. A secondary form of contact (AIM, MSN, Y!M): Istalindir@yahoo.come (Y!M)
7. How did you learn/hear about 'Souls?: The use of my Google-fu.



Moonglow was walking. Just walking. On and on and on. She wasn't sure where she was or how long since she began. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Everything was white, like Winterwind. But, her brother hadn't been white at the end, had he? He'd been red. Everything had been red. Her back legs wavered, then collapsed from underneath her. She landed in an awkward sitting position, back paws splayed to the side while her forelegs bore her weight. The young wolf began to tremble slightly, a fine shiver throughout her body. Long minutes passed before the filthy, cream colored wolf was able to force herself to her feet. She began moving again with all the desperate intensity of an animal fleeing death.

Her head hung low and her steps staggered, but she continued forward doggedly, until some instinct drew her to a lurching halt. Her nose quivered, but it still took Moonglow a few moments before she realized that she was at the edge some pack's territory. Dull golden eyes gazed into the stranger wolf's territory, wondering vaguely if they would kill her if she intruded. But, no. Moonglow was the only one left who remembered her family. She would live to keep their memory alive. She ached so, though, death seemed a quiet reprieve.

...She deserved no such thing.

That thought driving her on, Moonglow turned and began walking the border; not intending to stop. However, her strength failed her not more than ten steps later. Her legs just stopped supporting her weight. She lay there, finally aware of the hunger ripping at her insides. Hungry, she was hungry. Moonglow didn't move, not sure she would be able to get up.

Though force of will and little else, the starving wolf did eventually push herself into a sitting position. Not thinking of the consequences of her actions, Moonglow threw back her head and howled. It was not an announcement of her presence, the only message it conveyed was lonely sadness.

[Conor Soul]

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Hello and Welcome to 'Souls! I'm Libri Please do not be nervous, your post was lovely and everything looks great!

In the melodic call there was a story.

It was part of the quest of the mortal; to be scarred and broken. The wolf holding the colours of a flourishing autumn knew pain as well as anyone, though he was no longer a victim. Perhaps the lonesome creature by the borders was; her song was sad and there was no genuine power apparent in it. There was not enough energy in his body either, but he was dedicated on being a martyr, for whatever reason, and every day went as usual, though the burdens were heavy, so heavy. Perhaps history was about to repeat itself, and the male was afraid.

Eyes coated with soft, yet darkened lavender found the young female where he expected her to be, and his approach was that of a pack wolf greeting a trespasser, though Conor always made a point out of sucking out all hostility in the scene. These were claimed lands, but the girl had done everything according to the book, and the tone that had been revealed by her voice made him confident he had an idea of why she was here. Usually the male drew a smile on his lips, but even that seemed to require more than he had. ”Greetings, I am Conor, alpha of Dahlia de Mai. How may I help you?” The typical, overly polite greeting, but he had always tried to do things his own way.

[Moonglow]

-^-^- Thanks very much for the welcome.

The howl tampered to an end. Moonglow's head drooped, muzzle opening and tongue lolling in a pant. She was tired, so very tired. She wanted things to be the way they were, the five of them together and happy. She wanted...

Lost in such melancholy thoughts, she didn't notice the other wolf's approach until he spoke. Even then, cream jaws closing and head lifting, she didn't appear to understand exactly what she was seeing. Golden eyes stared though this stranger wolf, completely blank. Several seconds passed before Moonglow seemed to gather herself, awareness trickling into her gaze.

After several false starts, the young wolf was able to drag herself to her feet. Feeling weak, from hunger probably, she twitched into proper greeting position. First Moonglow lowered her head respectfully, while her tail eased between her legs and her ears went half-mast. She was aware, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she doubtlessly made for a pathetic image. The thought hovered briefly before dying without making any impact. It didn't matter.

"Greetings," her voice was a low rasp, strange on such a young female but revealing that it had been quite some time since she had last spoken. "I am Moonglow." She hesitated for a long moment before lowering her head further, glancing very briefly up at the male before her before lowering her gaze again. "Forgive me, Alpha of Dahlia de Mai, but I seek permission to hunt small game on your lands, if possible."

She'd had no thought to enter their territory before, but as the alpha was before her she felt it prudent to ask. While it was possible to find small game on neutral lands, if it ran into their territory she would no longer be able to hunt it. Hopefully she would find a rabbit sluggish with winter or, better yet, some unwise hibernating animal dead in it's burrow.

Whatever the case, she had to find food soon or she would not survive the next few days. Moonglow felt weary at the thought, as if faced with an egregious chore. She wondered if the Alpha, Conor she thought he said, would agree. There would be no gain for his pack, just the continuation of a worthless stray. She couldn't gather any kind of worry, if he sent her away she would go.

[Conor Soul]

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300+

He watched as the blank canvas found shape and response. But there was so much more he could see, just by letting his lilac hues wander across her appearance. Nothing changed in his face as the young girl struggled to get up on shaky feet. It was a fight that he was interested to see, for it would reveal a spirit that he could admire. Perhaps she could be considered pathetic by others, but she was not in the eyes of the Dahlian. There was compassion building in his warm heart, but he wanted to see how much strength she still possessed. No one would want a dying creature into their home, but despite her obvious weaknesses, she was still alive and had sense to act as one should by the doorstep of a pack’s lands.

The question that rose from her maw after her own greeting was uttered inspired the male’s face to turn slightly curious—surprised even. She wanted permission to hunt in the pack lands? It was a strange request, as there was generally no more game here than in the neutral territories. Then again, it was not something he would have a problem with. Dahlia de Mai remained superior in size compared to any pack in the area, and as long as someone sought permission first, he did not have a problem with outsiders crossing the borders. There was one question that kept the instant “yes” from leaping from his tongue. If the girl could barely stand on her feet, would she really be able to hunt anything at all except the end of her life?

”You don’t seem like you’re in a condition to do anything, least of all to hunt,” he commented, the harsh truth vividly displayed. Surely she saw this too, unless she was a most brilliant actress. But her body did not own any storages where energy could be retrieved. Her appearance was unhealthy.

[Moonglow]

"That is true." Moonglow agreed softly. "I have been traveling for-" she paused, eyes sliding to the side in thought. "Many days. If you grant me permission, I will sleep." A low quiver went through her body at the thought of sleep. Either her body's longing or mind's dread, Moonglow couldn't be sure. "Then, begin my search." Her throat began to ache, these were the most words she'd spoken in months. She passed her days in silence, speaking only to fever dreams or haunting nightmares.

She took another quick glance up at the alpha, attempting to gauge his thoughts. Her skills in reading other wolves may have rusted but she could see well enough that there was no overt disapproval in his expression or stance. Nor any indication that he would drive her from his land's edge, fangs bared. He also seemed healthy and strong. That was a good sign. A healthy wolf was a content wolf, for the most part.

The way he stood, head up and easily confident reminded her of her father. Her flank flinched as if beset by flies at the thought, mind bucking in horror at the memory. She held her panic, her sudden desire to flee from this alpha before he turned on her and showed as little reaction as she could. Moonglow tried to force her thoughts into order. The father of before, not the monster he became. She wouldn't think about it, she wouldn't think about the snarls or the scent of death or the feel of her brother's blood seeping from his body onto hers.

Coming back to the now with an almost physical jolt, Moonglow quickly slowed her breathing. It had sped while she was lost in her thoughts. She took another covert glance at the alpha, wondering if he would notice. Perhaps he would just take it as a sign that she was overtired, which she was, or nervous. Moonglow was aware that she would loose days to such thoughts, but at the screaming pace they had taken this time, she rather thought very little time had slid by her. Not long enough to miss any speech on Conor's part, at least.

[Conor Soul]

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--

She brought demons with her, but they were her burden, not his. He could express interest, but by doing that he was more likely to dig into open wounds beneath her skin. Some creatures could not stand the thought of sharing their burdens with others, and there were so many valid reasons for keeping the skeletons hidden in their closet. But where would this poor girl sleep? Conor was not the greatest of actors, and his face could not keep the slight sadness at bay without changing with it, the edges of his mouth pulling down slightly. Not enough to create a grimace, but this was a sad creature he had standing before him.

Perhaps he noticed that something happened inside her, memories or pain causing a flood, but he made no move to acknowledge this. ”You may rest here if you wish,” he revealed, allowing his white tipped tail to fall from dominance to something much more casual. But what would happen after she had slept? Energy could not return of the body lacked fuel. Why did he always insist on thinking in such compassionate paths? He knew what this meeting would lead to. It had happened many times in the past and it would happen again. He could not help it, for he worshipped life while his surname expected him to cradle death instead.

But there was more. ”What are you searching for?” This question was spoken because of blind curiosity. It was good to see that she had a goal in all this, but where was she headed? What did she need to do?

[Moonglow]

Whew, it'll be a few hours before I reply again. Sorry. D: I just have to sleep.

Moonglow was surprised at his offer to sleep even just on the edges of his land. It was best not to let a newcomer become too comfortable, if they had nothing to offer the pack. She had intended to retreat further into neural territory before her inevitable collapse. It was always safer to sleep, even a short distance, in known pack lands if one had permission. There were fewer large predators. Another quick glance revealed his more relaxed stance, Moonglow lifted her head slightly in response but otherwise did not move from her submissive position.

"Thank you for the offer, Alpha Conor. I will intrude as little as possible." His next question caught her off guard. What was she searching for? Nothing. She had no direction, no overreaching goal. "I-" she paused not quite sure what to say. "I am searching for rest and food, that is all." Even her 'hunting' was more a search for carrion. Fresh meat was so rare as to be nonexistent lately. Her last meal had been the carcass of an old buck. It had been all but picked clean and half frozen.

No direction or goal. The thought sunk deep into her mind. It was true. Only a niggling sense of duty gave her a goal even so short term as 'find food'. There were days when she wanted to do nothing but curl up and watch her body quietly starve around her. There would be no one to mourn her, she would become nothing but another body to scavenge. The thought of her mother and siblings forgotten so soon always forced her up again, though. She would live and give their memory what significance she could.

Moonshadow would be ashamed of the sorry state she was in. Her sister had always been the strong one, the brave one. Not her, never her. Their little pack had been her entire world. To have them taken away was like having the earth ripped from beneath her, the sky torn asunder and the sun extinguished. There was always a sense of darkness now, so all encompassing that it sometimes felt as if there had never been anything but the darkness. Then she remembered the light and her mourning began afresh.

[Conor Soul]

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No worries Normally, joining threads take one week or so to finish, so I'd say we're still be ahead of schedule XD

She was on the young side to be a loner, the male thought, but there would always be reasons behind choices. Perhaps hers had been made for her. Caramel shaded ears swivelled around to lean against his similarly hued skull. Moonglow would by most be considered an adult, and it was not a stranger’s shore to guide her and take care of her if she did not openly seek an answer. If her plan was to rest before hunting then he supposed that was how it would be, but there were more suitable options for her. Perhaps they weren’t as plain to see for her as it was for him. In their current world of white, there was not much comfort to find anywhere if one was already exhausted and drained of energy. But he did not know when the point where a wolf froze to death was set.

These were simple wishes she carried. How sad that it did not seem like she considered to join a pack. Conor would not ask the question for her. ”I see,” he mused, tilting his eyes slightly as he let eyes travel her form once more before turning away from her sorry state. ”We have comfortable accommodation in the town if you’d be interested. Perhaps even leftover meat from this morning if you’d fancy a meal before you go under,” lips tugged slightly upward as he spoke the last word, but perhaps it was he alone that found his way of phrasing it humorous. ”Or you can settle here and risk never waking up.” There was nothing wrong with speaking of the likely consequences she currently faced. ”It’s your choice, of course.”

[Moonglow]

Town. The word was strange and one she knew the meaning of only vaguely. She was fairly sure he was offering her a place to sleep in one of the wooden dens that were apparently in a town. Creating a temporary burrow of sorts was not difficult, even as weak as she was Moonglow knew she could manage it. But the Alpha spoke true when warning her of the risk of never waking. Even a small burrow took her meager body heat far too long to warm.

"It would be-" The young female hesitated for a long second as if searching for the word. "Pleasant to sleep in a place free of snow." She made no mention of the offer of meat, the pained clench of her stomach forbade it. She'd found it best to think of food as little as possible.

The offer of accommodation was an unusually kind one to hear. Moonglow wondered at it, even as she was grateful, letting a wolf so deep within your territory with no promises of pack was a dangerous pastime. Though, she thought ruefully, letting in a hunger-weak, half-dead loner would be the safest way to go about it. She would certainly be no match for any healthy wolf.

"Thank you for your kindness." Moonglow added, muzzle tilting toward the male. "For what little it is worth, you have my gratitude." She wondered if the town was far, if she would even be able to make it. No matter, she knew she could walk miles more, even in her condition. Not gracefully, perhaps, but steadily enough.

Winterwind had always wanted to see a town, the thought intruded roughly leaving behind a wound that bled sorrow and regret. The corner of her mouth pulled back slightly at the pain twining through her. Her brother spoke of his dream often, though Moonshadow always swore she would see one first. Just as she always said she would be the first to take Optime form. Now they never would.

[Conor Soul]

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Welcome to Dahlia! I'll get our stinky Sie admin to title you up right away!

A small shrug left the male’s shoulders, for gratitude could be so many things. He did not offer her temporary sanctuary because he required gratitude, but because it was an own kind of therapy. As a child he had brought injured critters home for his caretaker to heal, and today it was wolves he brought with him. Moonglow was far from the first creature he had offered assistance, and there would be many more to come. ”My pleasure,” he replied with gentle tones, prolonging the presence of the curved line on his lips. He had the habit of speaking the truth. How temporary her rest here would be would be up to her. Perhaps she would be gone within a day or two. One could never know.

”Follow me.” Technically, the house the Soul male lived in was not his, but he was relatively certain that Saluce would not become upset if he brought a visitor. They were still working with rebuilding parts of the alpha’s old house, and it would still take some time before the house was inhabitable again. ”It’s not far,” he then added, though a bit too late for the two spoken sentences to be considered one. Making certain to keep a low speed to make it possible for her starving body to follow, he led Moonglow into the Dahlian territory and into Wolfville.

[Conor Soul]

Welcome to 'Souls!

Congratulations! You've been accepted into the craziest bunch of roleplayers on the vast Internet! Please remember to make your first In Character post within five days. Not sure where or how to start roleplaying? You can check the Open Threads and Thread Requests forum for a list of open threads, as well as tons of people looking to plot out adventures with your new character! You can also start your own thread and see what kinds of interesting characters turn up for you. If you haven't already, please update your profile with detailed information on your character -- it'll help others get a feel for him/her, which in turn will help generate thread ideas. You can also start doing other cool things like: Earning Word of the Day points, which can get you custom titles and even icons! Fulling requirements for the Catacombs, our IC and OOC achievement system. Participate in general chats and discussions in OOC Garbage. You can find general roleplay help and guidelines, as well as a wealth of information on our werewolves and the 'Soulsverse on the RP Guide. Don't feel pressured to read it all at once though! The guide is a huge resource and is meant to be used as a reference for various aspects of the game. If you're feeling lost or confused, don't hesitate to post a question in Roleplay Aides, or to seek out a Mentor.

[Moonglow]

Awesome! It's great to be accepted. <3 And the title is lovely.

He seemed a kind soul and Moonglow wondered at it. Did madness lurk behind the soft voice and gentle eyes? Was that the eventual fate of all those cursed with the Secui beast inside their skin? Would she one day become the monster of her nightmares?

When he turned away to lead her deeper into his territory Moonglow didn't move. Her golden eyes were wide and locked on his slowly retreating back. How could she trust him? How could she trust any wolf that may become that thing? Fears and nightmares danced behind her eyes, darkening them. Finally, with a faint tail twitch that was weary acknowledgment of her position, Moonglow crossed the border line and followed Conor.

The first step was shaky, her body protesting even the idea of being forced to move. She ignored it's pained complaints with all the studied skill she had gained in her months of travel. Her legs felt weak and unsteady beneath her but Moonglow simply focused fiercely on the white tail tip in front of her.

A familiar rhythm was established, Moonglow didn't need to think she simply let her paws move her forward. The tunnel vision that accompanied this state was welcome, there was no phantom family to set her inner wounds burning. There was only her immediate goal, the throb of over worked muscles and the blissful, blanketing static that dulled her mind.

When she moved there was only that, only now. There was no past and no future. It was as close to happiness that Moonglow ever got since that night. The coveted first sight of a town was thus made meaningless. The only thing Moonglow saw with any clarity was the wolf leading her. Even as she embraced this numb state, Moonglow knew it wouldn't last. She needed food and rest, which would require stillness and, worst of all, thought.