this labyrinth kee[p]s growing

[Anka de Sadira]

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Ahren. Queen of Piety Cemetery. [WC: 1033]




ETA: Fucking computer has overheated three times while I was writing this, and I lost over half of it. Grrr. I hope you appreciate this! <33




She had thought of going to see him. Really, she had. A couple of times, in fact. Hard to believe, the things he'd said last they'd spoken, the way he'd... Hell. The way he'd what? It had mostly been her, truly. Yes, he had reacted, but it was to be expected. Nobody held their temper perfectly, and he certainly had held his well, considering. All the time she'd thought him such a monster... but was he? She couldn't be entirely too sure. It had been an ongoing battle within her mind; was it him, or her? Perhaps she had only built him in her mind, because of what she'd heard, the nightmares she'd grown up hearing. Maybe she'd given him a personality that didn't particularly belong to him, but to what he'd been described as, and what she'd seen him to be. Once, she'd seen it, but she was afraid. How bad had it even been? She remembered pain. Her stomach had been caught on a dozen blades, it had seemed.




'You's a monster,' she'd told him. Disgust filled her. 'A... A FUCKING MONSTER!' It had been the first time she'd ever used that sort of language. She had rarely ever heard it; only from Aiji when she thought her daughter wasn't around. And him... 'I did mean what I said. I’m not going to deny what I did…or that it was my fault. I’m really sorry, Aiji... I’m not going to do anything else to hurt you, or her.' He's said that. Stood there, hesitating and keeping his distance. 'I want to try and make up for it... I want to do something... to make up for it.'




He couldn't make up for it. Aiji hadn't let him... he hadn't really deserved it, to Aiji, but even so. She had tried. 'I fully accept your apology, and I would like for you to be a part of Anya's life, because she desperately needs you. She needs a father, Ahren.' Of course she'd needed a father. Desperately. Like her mother had said. But she hadn't gotten one. Her father... she'd wanted to call him something. Tried... but it didn't feel right to call a male she barely knew, 'daddy.' 'Call me what you want,' he'd said. She had, many times. The first... a monster. 'Your family, Anya, isn’t one whose history is idyllic.' She sighed softly, remembering. "Neither is mine, now," she whispered softly.




The sound was a mistake. Someone had been lurking, had heard her. She was immediately up from her seat against a grave stone; a place she'd come to think. To think about how dead she was inside, just like the humans buried beneath the ground were on the inside and the outside. Not so idyllic, eh? She knew what that was like... but she'd never really thought of his words until now. Two years later. And now she remembered. Both of them had spoken to each other as if she wasn't there, or wasn't important enough to address. Now, others paid attention, sometimes... some more than others. Her eyes met those of what looked to be a very angry cougar, and her hand went to her back, unclipping her dagger and slowly pulling it out of the sheath. She moved backwards, nearly tripping over a grave stone as she tried to slip away. Stay quiet, stay slow, stay steady. One step... then another... then an– "Unnhhf!" She'd backed into a much taller grave stone. Sod's law.




"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong — and at the worst possible moment."




Clearly, the cougar saw his chance, and launched himself at the canine girl, who didn't need more than the split-second pause to throw her body to her right. As the cougar went to swipe a claw across her, her body was moving the opposite way, and claws caught flesh and pelt, from shoulder to chest. Her body winced, and she rolled across the ground, shirt torn and jacket damaged, blood trailing across both to leave a stain. She paused only but a second before the adrenaline of the wound flooded her body, and she felt nothing but dull tingling where the searing had been. She was up within another second, dagger now held by her side, toward the feline and held in a firm grip meant for killing. Her eyes burnt a deeper red than the growing stain on her shirt, which despite her lack of attention to it, had not ceased spreading further. He'd gotten her deep. She had just minutes before the blood loss, if it didn't stop, would weaken her into unconsciousness.




Even if she'd noticed, she had no time to think about this. They circled, each preparing for the other's next move, each deciding a strategy. Anka knew she couldn't run. Fight or flight, and flight was out. Fight she must, and would. After everything, her mother, her father, her life, the past, the fire, and for the present, and the future she insisted on having, for the many things she had to take care of, many issues to settle, many new places to see and friends and enemies and maybe even lovers to be had... she would not die now. 'Aiji couldn't kill me. Ahren couldn't kill me. Packs couldn't kill me, animals couldn't kill me, even the curse my brothers fell to couldn't kill me.' Of course, she meant the other two that hadn't made it into this world alive. Her face twisted into a grin, and she laughed softly. "Hey, c'mon, li'l kitty-kitty," she taunted it softly. "Nobody's been able to get me yet. I'll take your best shot... or are you a pussy?" Irony. How cute.




It was the wrong thing to say, or maybe the wrong tone, or the wrong time, or just an ironic time. Whatever it was, he was on top of her before she saw him move, her perception slowed by the blood loss, and she didn't have that extra moment to move this time. He loomed above her, and instinctively, she screamed. Then, with the air gone from her lungs, she spoke softly, laughing weakly in the face of her certain death.




"Fuck you too, then."

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[Ahren de le Poer]

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THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST



THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED

_____ In the past three years, Ahren had learned many things. He had survived by will alone, driven at many times by the will of the demon. It had influenced his choices and played a game as it saw fit. Whether or not they were one and the same was something that Ahren did not know because he had no idea that there was such an alter-ego. He was conscious of Laruku’s, and of his own blackouts, but he had not made the connection. After all, the blackouts had been with him for years. They only got worse the more he tried to drown himself in drugs or a bottle. Those things were behind him now, though, and he would do his best to never touch them again. Old habits die hard, though, so he knew it would be a battle upstream.
_____ The blonde had wandered south, following the road that had led his trio out of Bleeding Souls. They had all been traveling further into this strange new world over the past few weeks, but cautiously. There seemed to be, among the three men, an unwritten and unspoken idea that perhaps it was best if they remained alone. Ahren did not intend to keep his son from finding a new home and intended to speak to him about this soon. He needed to talk to Laruku as well and see where he wanted to go. All ready, he knew he could not leave the scarred hybrid alone. Laruku needed him, and he needed Laruku. Ahren was no longer fit to live on his own.
_____ A scream tore him from his thoughts. It was the scream of a woman. Instinct still drove him to act nobly, for even the time and his own perception on reality could not change that. He was driven to help the weaker because that had been his job, first as a father, then as an alpha. He was not far from the source and barely had time to make the connection between the girl and the cougar when his knife swung out towards the cat. The cougar was faster and the blade only caught fur, but it forced the animal away from the girl. Her scent filled his nose and he realized, suddenly, that the ragged heap of blood and clothing under him was Anya. It was if his face cracked—the snarl that twisted it was monstrous and his eyes darkened with rage. Under his hair, his face was hellish.
_____ “loskommen mein tochter,” he hissed. The cougar only hunched low, tail lashing. Ahren’s knife remained low, held loosely. As soon as he sidestepped, moving away from his daughter, the cougar came at him. It leapt and connected with Ahren’s frame, sending the two to the ground. The wolf kicked wildly, keeping his head low, and swung up with the knife. Blood poured over his face and the cougar yowled, flailing, realizing suddenly what had been done. Then all too quickly it went limp, full weight falling on the wounded man. Ahren coughed, and struggled out from under the tawny cat. He was covered in blood, and not aware of what was and was not his own. The cat had taken a notch from his ear and clawed up his chest.
_____ Still, his conscious belonged to the girl. Ahren made his way to her side and hunched down, eyes wide (though only one was seeing, the other’s pupil ghostly blue-white) and began speaking frantically. “Anya? Anya can you hear me? Anya?”




I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

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[Anka de Sadira]

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[WC: 688]




Her eyes had fallen closed, her body shutting down her mind, using the energy for healing rather than consciousness. She couldn't remember anything after she'd went down, but at some point, she'd realised she wasn't dead. That was when she woke up. She was still bleeding, but it was beginning to slow, and a voice that sounded too far away to be real was calling to her. "Anya?" She knew that voice... where did she know that voice from? Vaguely, it occurred to her that the voice was saying 'Anya,' not 'Anka'... it wasn't someone from her pack. But the scent still held a familiarity, something haunting and, at the moment, surreal.




"Anya, can you hear me?" Her mind was screaming. Yes, she could hear him. But fucked if he could hear her. Energy... she needed energy. Her eyes weren't even open, the light was too bright to bear, and her eyelids were far too heavy, not to mention one of them being sealed shut around the edge and burning. She tried to speak. Nothing. She shuddered slightly from the effort, but the sound wasn't there. The voice was getting more urgent, but everything was in slow motion. "Anya?" With feeling. Her memories were starting to whine, whispering things she couldn't quite understand, familiarity was curving it's claws into her mind. Who was this male? She knew the answer. It was right there, on the tip of her tongue... but she couldn't get a firm grip on it. Another whine, another attempt to recall. Just a little closer, and she'd have it.




Her eyes flickered, and she involuntarily groaned at both the sunlight and a searing pain in her left eye. "Nnngh..." That was something, at least. He would know she was alive. Again, she lifted the weight of her right eyelid, slowly, painstakingly. The left was still refusing cooperation. "What... happened?" The question was soft and slow, words slurred together and spread across time like slush in the spring time. The bright light of the sun blinded her vision for a moment, and she fought to see the form above her. The male was wounded; his upper body was the first thing she could see, and the blonde pelt was stained with red.




She groaned, remembering her own wounds. Adrenaline drained, she could feel every tear, every wound, every scratch on her body. There was more damage than she'd thought, and she wondered how long she'd been down and unconscious before he'd come. She squinted at him with her right eye, attempting to see his face, despite the sun shining into her eye. Pale blue in one eye... and red. Deathly, sickening red like hers. She might have sat up in shock, but her body didn't feel any need to move. Her chest was torn up pretty well, and the rest of her body didn't lack similar wounds. She groaned as she tried to shift slightly. Ahren... Ahren had saved her? She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry... although she could seemingly do neither at the moment, so it was an irrelevant question to both considering.




She looked at him, her lips twisting into what might have been a weak smile. "Of all things... I don't know why." Why what? Why he'd saved her? Why he hadn't let her be torn to shreds? Why he hadn't helped tear her to shreds? Why he'd stayed after the fight? Why one of his eyes appeared to be going blind, if not already there? Why he was showing concern for her? Whichever, they all applied now. Her voice was soft, curious but not cold. She might have even hugged him, but even if she could move, she didn't want to push her luck. He'd saved her life and he was caring about her. She couldn't ask for everything.





Instead, she said simply, "Thank you."




It didn't come even close to what she meant. A million thoughts and memories and emotions couldn't be expressed with those two pathetic words, spoken in a voice barely audible, by a girl barely alive. It didn't even come close... But it was a start.

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[Ahren de le Poer]

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THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
We should totally have a follow up where they go to her pack and they both get patched up. And then he can poof away like a ninja.



THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED

_____ The scar above his left eye was not what had caused his blindness. It had been a hot ember that had destroyed his sight, and made him utterly useless. He could not survive on his own—the cougar would have killed him if not for the knife, and if not for the fact Ahren had been using the blade since he was a boy. Instinct, impulse, and a second greater will was what kept him alive. It did not save his sight, his ruined arms, his now scarred body. Like Laruku, Ahren was a distant, aging ghost from the past. He didn’t belong here. They should have both died with their homeland, with Chimera and Clouded Tears, one to selfish desires and the other to flame. They didn’t deserve to live.
_____ She moved, she spoke, and she saw him. It was the faint glimmer of a smile that caused his own to stir, even though he was bleeding and they were both ragged. Coughing suddenly, he clutched at his chest and drew back with wet blood. The cat had managed to nearly completely tear apart the tattoo over his heart. Iskata had struck there first. He might have laughed if not for the remarkable amount of pain he was in. Again, it was instinct that made him move, knowing that if the bleeding was not stopped it was possible they could still end up six feet under.
_____ “I’m going to look for medicine,” he said, tasting blood in his mouth. Pushing himself to his feet, the blonde staggered and swayed wildly, walking like a drunk. Of course, he had experience in this field and thus managed to wander towards the decrepit groundskeeper’s shed. Once inside he began searching wildly, throwing things aside and all the while leaving a trail of blood behind him. It didn’t matter. She needed him and he needed to find medicine. In the end, all he managed to gather was a roll of gauze. He couldn’t have been gone for more then fifteen minutes and stumbled back in the same daze, his eyesight fading in and out as he went. It was his own blood he followed in the end, the only red color on the ground besides a few wildflowers.
_____ Ahren half sat and half collapsed next to his daughter, and began wrapping the wound on her chest. He didn’t even realize his hands were shaking, well aware he needed to take care of his own wounds, well aware that if they did not clot soon he was going to be in dire straits.





I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

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[Anka de Sadira]

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Sounds good. <3! Powerplay through her chest wrapping, didn't think you'd mind. You can construe the medical supplies to be whatever you think is plausible/necessary that would be used by a pack medic person thing. Lol. [WC: 651]




She couldn't tell how long he'd been gone. One moment he was there, then he left. Medicine, he said. He needed medicine. The sun blinded her in his absence. She closed her eye, the other still closed anyhow, letting the light fade and the dark replace it. Before she really realised that she'd started fading away, though, she felt gauze wrapping around her chest. She tried to lift herself up slightly. It hurt, but she knew she needed patching up. She wasn't going to make it out alive if she didn't let him help her. It wasn't even that she didn't want to; she was too weak to be suspicious. If he suddenly changed his mind and killed her, she was no worse off than she would have been alone, torn apart by the cougar. But her body felt broken, and she knew she was well torn up. She panted softly, trying to keep her breath. She thought of saying something, but it was hard enough to breathe without the words. Finally, she laid back down and murmured.




"I thought I was dead."




Her left eye still wouldn't open, and she'd given up trying. It was easier to cling to whatever comfort she could find. That's why she hadn't asked him why... he'd saved her life, and that was something good. She felt a sense of comfort, maybe even belonging, because of that. He didn't have to. He was obviously hurt from it; it would have been easier for him to just stay out of it and let her die. But he hadn't. And as much as paranoia begged her to believe that it was simply so that he could hold it over her head, she couldn't bring herself to give the thought more than a moment's notice. She didn't ask why he'd done it. She didn't want to ask. This was good, the first good thing that had ever come of them being anywhere near each other... even if it was the worst of circumstances, she felt like the close call with death had served something of a greater purpose... even if just for now. The weak smile from before made a second appearance, and though the muscle movement wasn't particularly comfortable, she couldn't bring herself to not offer that much, at least.




It occurred to her that he was shaking, and still bleeding. She had fallen a decent length from her bag, but she still had a few of Naniko's things in it. Maybe he could use them... she was sure that the female wouldn't mind that. She looked up at him and spoke, trying to keep her voice even in spite of the pain. "My bag... is by the gravestone. Just a row or two that way." She gestured with her head slightly, in a vague and painful movement, to the place which she'd been before the cougar had found her. She knew there was more gauze there, and some herbs and other medical items that she wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do with. Those were Naniko's. And she had a few linen bandages and some thread and needles. She wasn't sure what might be useful, and she'd forgotten, for the moment, that her mother's journal was in there as well. She was still watching her father.




She added, "I could... try to get it. Or you can. There's medicine and stuff... I think we need it." He obviously needed some patching up, and she wasn't sure what else she needed... except perhaps a pirate eye patch. She'd read about those once, although she'd never met a pirate, let alone one with an eye patch, so she couldn't be entirely sure if it was true. But the fact that literature came to mind now, of all things, struck her as amusing and entirely ridiculous. If it wouldn't have hurt so badly, she might have actually laughed.

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[Ahren de le Poer]

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THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
Short, sorry. We can have them start moving towards the pack, maybe?



THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED

_____ He worked mechanically, without realizing what he was doing. She spoke and he followed her voice, followed to where the bag was. Ahren sat heavily and went through the bag, finding more gauze and several jars full of odds and ends, medicines. He swallowed some of these, passed her the jar and began to treat his own wounds. His head was a blaze of one moment thoughts, a list whittling down, and he was completely silent as he did this.
_____ Finally, after a few moments, he lifted his head. The hair fell over his left eye, hiding the ruined blue as he spoke.“Where are you staying?” They needed someone who could treat these wounds. Ahren was unfit for the task, in the state he was in.





I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

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