I think my writer's block just might be gone XD. You don't have to match the word count at all. WC: 905
When Saxif woke up that morning snuggled in her hammock, the sleeping noises of her roommates a common comforting sound. She couldn’t help but to feel serene, she had been having a troubling few weeks since her return to AniWaya. The barn she had helped build was now rendered unused, her friend the only to have known of her past until lately was injured and her troubles continued when it came to males. She was feeling unwanted, scared, and alone. So she had been drowning herself in training and hunting, keeping to herself greatly. Her skills with a bow had increased dramatically, as well as with a spear and even her skinning knife had become more than just that. It was a throwing weapon as well.
Though this training had been all to avoid her emotions, the night before she had found herself weeping. A golden eagle had perched itself on a tree not far from her training grounds, she had not noticed it until well into her training. It had been watching her carefully, as she seen it, it had screeched and flown away. This prompted her tears for some strange reason. It was her release since first hearing the news of Shiloh and it had lasted for a good few hours. She had been afraid and worried to see her now healing friend in a state of such dismay. She missed her greatly and wondered if she was overreacting, but she knew that not only would the girl be injured physically but mentally as well. Shiloh had already been so fragile as a wolf and was more scared to see her as becoming even more so brittle. It was what kept her away the most.
This morning though she awoke unlike most, her mind now open to the thoughts of her friend. She was not sure if she was ready to see her yet but she knew she would be ready for another type of visit. Saxif arose from her bed with a great haste she left her hunting gear in their places and headed to area that she had been avoiding. She started to slow as the area came to her sights, a partially built hut. It was left, as just a started piece of work so there was much to be completed.
It was being built South of the stables near the riverbank. It was a good location, a decent distance from the village as to not fill the area with smoke. Though close enough as the village may protect it if need be. It was going to be their source of food in the winter, as the village has not had a stores hut in the past Saxif figured this winter was going to be a good one. Saxif knew she would live there, as it was best for someone with weapons training to protect the food, so there was a section that was being customized just for her. She would prepare most of the meats as per taught by her grandmother but hoped others would take the chance to learn about preservations or even teach her more on the subject.
Saxif carefully walked over to the pile of wood that had been collected for the hut. It was neatly covered to protect it from the moisture, as Shiloh and herself had known it would be a while before they could continue. Though that while had been longer than Saxif anticipated she was glad to have finally gained the courage to return here. She sat on a rock nearby that was near perfect for a butchery block, she remembered thinking of how it would be stained in blood over time. She often thought of blood, as it was normality in a hunter’s life. She wondered if she could even complete this place on her own. This place was far more intricate than a barn.
She smiled thinking of the time Shiloh and her had spent here. She had expressed herself more to the scarred female than any other wolf in the past. It was Shiloh’s insightful nature that prompted the opening up. She had told her about her sister who had not liked her. She mentioned her friend who betrayed her heart by choosing her sister over herself. She even mentioned the young guard whom lately Saxif had been missing the most of all the people in her old pack. He had been the only other to know her well, more so than Shiloh. She wondered if she would ever be able to see the scarred girl again. Being around her made her feel less alone, now that she had been hurt it was like she was deeply alone again. She hoped she would gain the courage to see her again. She hoped that seeing her would be different than what she had pictured in her mind. She most of all hoped their friendship would remain untarnished by her evasion, she had not known the girl long enough to know for sure.
Saxif sat there for a long while as the morning sun began to arise. Her thoughts continued to flow like a dam that had been breached. She felt herself weeping again, but allowed herself to do so. She knew crying would be her best medicine for her sadness. Then maybe just maybe she would visit the wolf she called her friend for the first time since her return.
Shiloh had heard that Saxif was back. She had been though so much and she missed the huntress dearly. They had become close in one day with her. She wanted to see her and as she lay in her bed with Kyra on her chest, sleeping she wondered where Saxif would be. She had wanted to make the huntress happy and finish her hut but because of her arm she couldn't carve or pick up wood. She felt bad because she had promised Saxif a hut. She wondered if Saxif would think differently of her and as she got up and preyed to the AniWayan spirits for letting her live another day and have Kyra to take care of she got her bag that used to hold her knapping stuff and put Kyra in it. She had lined the bag with rabbit fur, soft and patted enough so that the kit would be ok with she walked.
She left Mizu a note saying she would was going out with Kyra and that she was going for a walk. She left the cabin and walked where her feet would carry her. She carried Kyra with her, feeding the kit with a syringe Mizu had given her. It was plastic and held a very ground up pulp of meat and herbs that kept the kit sleepy and full. The longer Kyra slept the more she didn't have to worry about the kit licking her stitches or mess with her leg. Shiloh hummed a tune she used to hum to her sister as she walked and fed the kit, shocked to find herself walking to where she had started to set up Saxif's hut. As she got closer she heard someone crying and was shocked to see Saxif close by her unfinished hut. Shiloh felt bad that she was crying and knew it was her fault. She put Kyra in her napsack and walked slowly over to Saxif. "I'm sorry I never finished your hut Saxif. I planned on having it done before you got back. I wanted to surprise you but something happened and I.... I can't finish it."she whispered softly almost afraid to touch the woman. She reached for her and touched her ivory shoulder softly. She hated seeing her down and honestly loved her friendship with her. "Did...did I do something wrong?"she asked sitting down, putting Kyra's napsack in her lap. She hoped her friendship with Saxif wasn't different now that she had been raped.
I <3 this thread. WC:500 And also 100th ic post!! Yay me!
Saxif yelped from the start of a voice, she had been so lost in her whelm of emotions she hadn’t even noticed their approach. The ivory wolf realized not only had the person startled her but also it had been Shiloh. Her crying grew heavier as the guilt of not being able to face the scarred girl took over. She turned her face away, she didn’t mean to offend but she didn’t want to be seen in such emotional distress. Even in that moment she felt foolish for crying in front of someone.
As the furless hand touched her shoulder Saxif felt a sudden calm. Her gasps slowed and she finally understood what was said to her. The moments before any words could escape made her feel worried for the scarred female. Shiloh thought she was at fault for her tears. She was not, not at all. Saxif took a deep breath and turned her golden gaze on the scarred female. She was changed but Saxif still saw the friend she had made that day seemingly so long ago.
She couldn’t help but smile warmly in that moment. She had truly missed her friend and though she had feared seeing her hurt she had not realized just how much worse it had been not to see her at all. She pulled her friend into a soft embrace; she wanted to squeeze her tightly but feared she might hurt her. As she nestled into the crane of her neck she gently spoke. It is not your fault Shiloh. It is mine, I cry for you and because I was foolish not to go see you. I should have been with you the moment I came back; I should have been holding your hand, telling you everything would be ok. I don’t care about the hut, I only care that you are ok.
She felt the sense of serenity returning to her, the calm she had known in the morning, now grown as the weight of her fears lifted. She loosened her grip and pulled back to take a better look at Shiloh. Her scars still very much present with a few additions just healing. Saxif carefully ran a fingertip along the closest one, a sense of anger built up. He will pay for this… She whispered nearly under her breath.
Her weeks of dismay had not just been hunter training but of general weapon’s training. She had internally sworn to herself that if given the opportunity vengeance would befall upon the male who harmed her and it would be by her hand. A hunter always hits their mark so that is what she planned to do. She took a long deep breath as she continued to look over the female’s fresh scars. Oh the tales your body tells my friend. Forgive me if this is rude but I am envious. She smiled in a slight amusement, she knew it was an odd quality in these parts but she adored Shiloh’s disfigurements.
[i]WC:477 Omg this is crazy. I love this thread and congradulations
Shiloh was taken back by Saxif's words as she embraced her softly. She hugged her closer and buried her face in her neck, inhaling her scent and enjoying her touch. She didn't find her repulsing or disgusting. She understood a side of her that Shiloh thought no one else would ever see. Shiloh laid her ears back and wrapped her arms around Saxif's waste softly, still not used to be touched like she was. She pulled her face up to whisper in her ear, "I'm ok now Saxif. You had other things to do besides come and see me. I wouldn't have wanted you to see me in that state anyways. I am still not used to what has happened to me. I still hold many scars, both physical and emotional," she said as Saxif pulled away to have a better look at her. She looked down, hoping Saxif didn't push her away and stop wanting to be friends with her. She whined softly, her green eyes holding back tears as she waited for the woman to speak
She was again taken back by Saxif's actions as she touched a healing wound on her chest right above her heart. The feather light touch made her fur stand on end and her face burn with emotions she didn't understand. Shiloh's ears cocked at Saxif's whisper of revenge and she took the womans hand in her own. "He will get whats coming to him. I beg you," she whispered looking up at Saxif softly, her jade eyes glowing with unshed tears. She placed Saxif's hand and placed it on her heart, [color=purple]"I beg you with all my heart not to go after him. I don't doubt you could and would kill him but Ralla is taking care of it for me. I..I... don...don't...wa...want... to se...see you...hur...hurt," she stuttered looking down. She let go of Saxif's hand as she listened to her talk about her scars.
She winced as she heard her say she was envious of the scars she had on her. "Pl....please don't....envy my scars. They are never something...to be....proud of. He hurt me so much Saxif.... you tell me you ..li...like my physical scars but you don...don't see m...my emotional scars. The...they run dee.... deeper the...then my...phys..physical ones,"she said as she started to hyperventilate. She couldn't help but stutter when talking about the attack and a part of her longed to be held by Saxif again, knowing she could see past her scars both physical and emotional. She didn't understand the feelings she felt for Saxif but she longed for the understanding Saxif could give her and to her that was all that mattered to her. That someone in AniWaya besides Ayasha understood her and her feelings.
Saxif had not meant to cause Shiloh distress but she had. She watched as the pain in her face grew from the emotional trauma. Her heart broke as her voice began to break. She allowed her to speak her pain, to say what needed to be said. Saxif remained still for a moment observing her debating her next actions. Eventually she rose her hands to Shiloh’s jaw and focused her green eyes upon her own. She held her gaze for a moment hoping to calm the hysteria. When it proved to be difficult for the girl to breath that is when she spoke.
Shh, shh my dear friend… You must breathe. Saxif began the slow subtle inhales as a guide for Shiloh to follow. Forgive me, I did not mean to make you think of your pain. She inhaled deeply again hoping for Shiloh to eventually catch up with her own longs breaths. I know this must be difficult, I wish I could understand but I don’t think I ever will. But know that I am here for you and regardless of what you think of yourself I believe you are stronger than you realize. She shushed the girl again as she knew the comment would spark the defensive side of Shiloh.
She pulled her close pressing her chest to hers. She had mimicked a technique her friend had use upon her a while before. She breathed deeply allowing Shiloh to feel her own breath, eventually she hoped their breath would sync. She remained silent for some time in attempt to allow the scarred female to calm and vent as she needed.
With each breath she took the scent of the girl filled her nose, her scent seemed so unique to her. She could barely describe it, but as she breathed her stomach felt like air and her body followed like jumping from a high place into a deep pond. It was strange to the girl a feeling she had not felt before. She found herself gripping to Shiloh, feeling her warmth as their breath synced. Eventually the feeling overwhelmed the huntress and she had to pull back. She looked at Shiloh, her golden eyes glistening. She smiled and placed her hand on the side of her face. You will get through this. I know it.
WC:355 <3 i sense emotional confusion between Shiloh and Saxif. o.O could it be.... love? lol
Shiloh slowly but surely calmed as Saxif held her. Her calm steady breathing and soft heartbeat calmed her and eventually she stopped hyperventilating. There was something about the huntress that gave her strength and calm as as she breathed with her, her panic attack stopped and she was able to breathe calmly. She buried her face in her neck, her scent washing over her bringing her peace. Her stutter would take a while to leave her but she knew she would be able to speak better then before as Saxif pulled away. She whined at the sudden loss of warmth and calm the woman gave her and leaned into her touch as she said words of encouragement to her. "Wi...will you hel...help me? I... have n...no one to run to. No one...who understands m..me like you do," she whispered looking down. She had admitted to something, something that both scared her and calmed her. Why did she feel this way around Saxif? Only Saxif made her stomach flutter and her breathing calm. Only Saxif didn't push her emotions aside but instead let her vent and release how she felt.
Shiloh had kept herself pent up, not releasing her emotions as well as she should have to Mizu or Ayasha because she knew they would worry too much. A big part of her still felt the need to cut but had resisted knowing it would get he no where. She was about to say something to Saxif when she felt Kyra start to move in her sac. She pulledaway from Saxifand pulled the kit softly out of her sac to feed her. She got her syringe and sat down on the rock that Saxif had been on earlier to feed Kyra. Her little body was healing nicely and as she fed Shiloh checked her paw and side to make sure nothing was out of place or ripped. "Saxif... meet Kyra. I..Ifound he...her a few days ago. I have been ta...taking care of her sin...since then. Do..do you wan..want to hold her?" she asked softly looking up at Saxif, her eyes glowing with her love for the kit.
WC: 380+ Gotta show my a reference of Kyra ^_^ can't even describe her cuteness
Saxif smiled at the idea of being Shiloh’s confidant. She loved to help, but she was a bit nervous in this case. Everything that had happened to Shiloh she could never understand though she was sure she knew Shiloh. Deep down she felt she knew Shiloh unlike herself or anyone around the scarred girl. It was slightly unnerving but also brought a sense of serenity to the golden cream wolf. She wondered for a brief moment why she felt this way for her. The words escaped her maw like a soft breeze, she had not realized the promise until it had released. I will always be here for you. And she grasped to the promise full heartedly, yet again throwing the wolf into a state of perplexity. She smiled lightly as she gazed into those light green eyes that were usually filled with pain, in that moment they were glistening with a new pride. She realized why as she heard a noise and began to speak.
The young huntress’s eyes widened lightly at the minx kit Shiloh had called Kyra. She had never seen a pet such as this so it was a bit of a surprise. It had shocked her even more that she wanted Saxif to hold the tiny thing. She was a hunter not a animal's friend. She took a tiny step back. Uh… No that’s ok… Then Shiloh gave her a look that made her groan slightly as she easily crumbled into the request. Push over. She put her hands out for the little thing as she sat next to her. As Shiloh placed her in her palms she became nervous and worried. How do I hold it? What do I do next? Pull it closer? Leave my hands there? Ran through her head at great speed. The idea that she was holding a small animal in her hands had her somewhat freaked out so she remained motionless until Shiloh showed her how.
As they had comforted into a position she stared at the minx with awe. It was just like Shiloh she thought. Small and fragile, though it had brought her a calm and sensed it had grown stronger since the scarred girl found her. She smiled down at the thing as it wriggled into her, nestling comfortably as though approving of Saxif. From that moment on she would adore the little creature as she adored Shiloh’s company.
Shiloh looked up as Saxif promised to always there for her. She almost cried at her words and but smiled when she saw Saxif back away when she said she didn't want to hold Kyra. "She doesn't bite. She won't hurt you. Come here Saxif," she said as Saxif came over, calling herself a push over. Shiloh laughed at the comment and placed Kyra in the huntress's hands, watching her freak out as she held Kyra in her palms. "Loosen up Saxif. She can sense your fear thats why she is moving. Here move her closer to your body. She enjoys your warmth," she said showing Saxif how to hold her. As soon as Saxif moved the kit closer Kyra snuggled down and started to fall asleep. The smile that Saxif showed for the kit had Shiloh smiling with her.
"Look Saxif... sh...she li...likes you,"she whispered putting hooking her arm under hers and leaning against her shoulder softly. She had grown tired after her panic attack and she felt at ease against Saxif. She had no stress with Saxif and knew he wouldn't let anything happen to her. Shiloh yawned before turning and licking Saxif's face softly. She hadn't noticed she had done it until it was over and she pulled away, standing and walking away from her somewhat. She didn't understand these feelings. She was starting to feel for Saxif like she felt for Leon. But Saxif was different then Leon. Saxif didn't hold the pain in her eyes every time she looked at her like Leon did. Saxif didn't seem to fear her emotions and scarred apperence. Saxif made her feel wanted...
When Shiloh had confirmed the young mink's actions she felt warm inside. She saw a whole new side to an animal and it was refreshing. Then as she felt the soft moist caress of Shiloh's tongue the moment was complete. The feeling startled the huntress causing her eyes to widen slightly. She had been licked before but it had never felt like that. It caused so much emotion in the girl she had to clear her throat to hold back a whine.
She stood just as Shiloh had from the moment of shock. Holding Kyra as she walked over to the partially built hut. This place is going to be great. She expressed in a slightly shaky voice, a very rare thing for the usually well spoken proud girl. She pet Kyra's head softly as she surrounded the area. She looked over at Shiloh who faced away from her, she smiled softly. If you guide me, it should be finished in no time. Saxif was sure she could do this, complete her hut. She had the practise and now she had an experienced crafter to help her. She didn't want Shiloh to feel she had done wrong so she had changed her tone to one of a more inviting nature. Will you help me?
Shiloh winced as Saxif stood and looked at what they had build so many weeks ago. It had been close to being finished but Shiloh knew she couldn't finish it. "I can't build anymore Saxif. I have lost my strength to build," she said turning to Saxif and looking at her with tears in her eyes. She had grown weak because her shoulder had healed but had healed wrong despite Mizu's medicine. She had grown weak in her right arm because of what had happened she could not build any more. She wouldn't be able to build anything or carve. She went and stood in front of Saxif, reaching for Kyra. She needed the kit to calm her nerves and stop her from hyperventilating again.
She had heard the waver in Saxif's voice and was shocked so hear it after her lick. "Did I do something wrong? I knew I...I shouldn't...have ..licked...you," she whispered touching Saxif's face softly. She wanted to make her happy and she knew she couldn't being as weak as she was.
You wouldn’t have to lift a finger… well unless it to point at something. Saxif smiled at her own silly comment. I helped rebuild an entire farm, I’m sure I can handle a hut. I just need guidance and advice along the way. If that’s ok. She was about to turn and face the scarred female but she had already stepped into her view. She seemed distraught regardless of her hope.
She unknowingly leaned into the hand upon her face; the warmth of her bare skin against her fur was pleasing. She felt it warm her. She placed her hand a top hers gently squeezing it. You have done nothing wrong, my friend. I am just not use to being touched let alone licked. She laughed lightly at the slight irony of it. Shiloh feared or felt so little contact because of her scars but Saxif found she avoided it as much as possible. Not with Shiloh though, with Shiloh she craved it. ”The daughter of an Alpha is meant to be seen not touched” that’s what my mother always use to say. And well you know how I feel about her so lets not take those words as a non-invitation. I enjoy your touch Shiloh and your tongue. She put her other hand under Shiloh’s chin and caressed her lips with her thumb as she spoke. Just caught me off guard I guess.
She gazed into her light green eyes as she smiled softly. She didn’t know why she enjoyed Shiloh’s company so much but she did. She hoped they would be friends for a very long time. She lowered their hands and looked at the hut. So… are you in? It might turn out to be a clumsy mess with out you. She hoped she would say yes, then the not only would the hut be built but their day together would extend. Now that she had Shiloh back in her days she was not going to give that up for anything.
Shiloh nibbled Saxif's fingers playfully before smiling. "I will help you as long as I am needed,"she said with another lick to Saxif's face. She looked at Kyra, who still slept peacefully in Saxif's arms. "She loves you. I didn't think she would like you that much. Why don't we start tomorrow and we just talk today. Its been a long time since I last saw you and you were missed,"she said going back to the rock to sit because she was feeling tired and weak. All these emotions Saxif made her feel were enough to make the wolfess tired. She yawned before taking of her bag that normally held Kyra and changed forms to her secui form, turning a few circles before laying down to stare at Saxif softly. She was more tired then normal, guessing it was because she was still extremely weak from the rape. She was still having problems eating and found herself hungry now.
She curled up and started to drift to sleep, hoping Saxif didn't worry too much about her. "I am ok Saxif. Just drained from hyperventilating and crying. You tend to bring out emotions others can't. I don't understand why you make me feel this way. I don't understand..." she said softly looking up at Saxif.
Saxif noticed the exhaustion in Shiloh, the morning quickly turning to day. Her own energy was still high. It was actually higher now that the pressure of her unnecessary stress had been released. Shiloh was safe, recovering and had missed Saxif just as much as she had missed her. She didn’t mind waiting for the next to complete the hut, she was in no rush. Spending the day with her friend seemed a much more pleasant task.
When Shiloh shifted she had pet the tiny mink in the nook of her arm. Then as she laid herself down Saxif walked near and sat in the grass. When I am with you it makes me feel different too. Like the true me just naturally falls into place. Not the one trained to be a certain way or the one who feels awkward about everything. I just feel like me. I think this strange interaction we share just means we will be great friends. Saxif smiled still gazing at the tiny kit.
Kyra was an interesting animal; she had never seen a mink so young. Its body was shorter than an adult, a trait she wouldn’t have suspected. She played with the small white hind leg almost massaging it as Kyra slept. Then she was distracted from the Mink as the gentle sleep sounds of the scarred wolf commenced. Saxif smiled as she watched Shiloh now asleep. She inched over closer and looked over the girl.
She took this opportunity to gaze at her scars, a trait she had found so interesting about the girl. She was scared to ask the greater details as the issue had deemed to be a sensitive one. Shiloh would often turn to self verbal torture when she would bring up the scars. This was one thing she had not enjoyed but it also gave her insight on the girl. She wasn’t just getting to know the Shiloh who was currently with her but also the young Shiloh who lost her family. She desperately wanted to touch the burn marks as she mentally mapped the flame’s touch. Her bare paws that were rough looking but smooth to the touch, she had to keep her hand from taking it within hers. She did not want to disturb the sleeping Secui. Various patches from her chin and chest were bare; an obvious result reaching for her sister. Then the patches through out her body seemed to be from narrowly escaping.
She had thought this the strongest point of the tale she hoped to hear, to understand. Shiloh had been so willing to live regardless of what she knew was lost to her. She had pulled herself probably moments from impending doom. Though survival was a natural instinct it seemed to live harder in Shiloh than she probably expected. This was the strength she admired. Her gaze fell on the fresh wounds which just added to her theory. To have gone through so much and still be going on, still having hope in her eyes and a brightness that she wondered was reserved only for Saxif. It was all so admirable. She didn’t know how long she watched the girl sleep but it had been a moment she would always think of.
Her nightmares were getting stronger and as she lay asleep she couldn't fight off the nightmares. The fire that burned so brightly that Shiloh still cringed from the pain. She still tried to reach for Anya, still called her name. She still cried in the dream but as it shifted to her rape she snarled and lashed out at an attacker only seen in her mind. She would fight him and she would be broken by him over and over but for some reason her nightmares changed to Saxif, her close and trusted friend. When she was around her she found herself calm and understood. She found peace from the demons that plagued her mind. There was something in Saxif's touch that made her feel like less of a monster, something in that glint in her eye that made her heart race and her body grow hot. She didn't understand why Saxif made her feel that way but she longed for someone to see her like Saxif did. She longed for a mate she would never find. She longed to love someone with everything she had and she thought that person would have been Leon but now that she knew he couldn't and wouldn't love her where did that leave her?
She dreamed of the ivory huntress loving her, caring for her and seeing past what others were too scared to see, too scared to understand. She found she was happier with Saxif and she valued her friendship with her but in the back of her mind she knew they were more then just friends. They had feelings for each other feelings Shiloh longed for but also feared because it would hurt her as much as Leon did. "I love you....Sax...if" she whispered softly in her sleep as she dreamed of a better day, of a better life.
Saxif’s ears perked as the girl whispered incoherently in her sleep. She smiled softly and settled the little mink in the satchel that rested nearby. She brushed the grass out of her silky fur and proceeded to a nearby tree. It was a feature she enjoyed about the choice of location, it would offer her shade and as she had stared at it she smiled. She carefully unsheathed her skinning knife ever present upon her belt just beneath the thick fur on her back. She tossed the knife skillfully in the air catching the handle. She ran her finger along the edge; it was sharp as she kept it each day.
Her routines in the evening had become quiet rigorous mimicking that of her uncle’s, including push ups, sit ups, a long run and maintenance of her tools. It was all to pass the darkening hours toward the true night. She gripped the blade near the tip of the blade and released it into the air. It zipped with great speed and hit its target perfectly. It was a thick broken branch that hung just blocking the view of the trunk. She never liked to use live targets in nature so to have struck the dead branch was pleasing. She gripped the handle of the blade as she approached.
During her walk back to her standing point she looked in Shiloh’s direction. The target of the branch quickly turned to the dark figure she often pictured in her practices. A sniveling slimy shadow that she wished she could put a face to or even a scent. She had wandered the area that she believed to be the site of the attack but figured a night of rain and high traffic of the creatures that lived there diluted the scent. She had not told anyone of her searching as the pack dealt with matters pertaining to their citizens.
It was probably best she didn’t find a scent as her actions would have proven haste and with out thought or planning. Then she would’ve ended up next to Shiloh damaged and scarred. With each throw of the dagger her anger built and the blade would hit with a louder thud as it struck its target true. Each time she walked back to her stance she would check on the sleeping wolf. She wanted to desperately ask the details but knew she could not; she would have to wait for them. She would have to wait to build a face to the snarling target that was her dead branch.
Shiloh is watching Saxif again!! Tackle hug!!! Saxif should have an emotional breakdown now.
Shiloh woke some time later to a steady shuffle shuffle THWACK sound. She groaned a little before seeing Saxif with her back turned to her, a curved knife in her hand. She pulled it back and threw it, the knife enbedding itself deep within the wood of a dead branch. Shiloh took the moment to silently run and jump on Saxif, pinning her down before she could get her knife. Shiloh was smaller in her secui form, about the size of a small adult or a large pup. She licked Saxif, knowing something was bothering her. She had this angered hurting look about her and Shiloh didn't understand why. She made a face at her before laying her whole length against Saxif, hoping to keep her from moving. "I will not move until you tell me whats bothering you. You woke me from my nap with your knife throwing. Your angered about something and I want to know what it is. Tell me or suffer my wrath," said Shiloh licking Saxif again, this time digging her nails into her shoulders where her paws laid. It wasn't a painful digging just Shiloh holding on to Saxif. She could feel Saxif's lithe body under her and could almost feel her powerful muscles bunch and move under her. Shiloh glared at Saxif, her jade eyes holding worry for her friend. Her normally golden eyes seemed to have turned to a darker shade of golden brown, her anger and hurt written all over her."Please tell me whats wrong Saxif. I hate seeing you like this... she whispered softly against Saxif's head knowing she could hear her every word, knew her every feeling in that moment.
Word Count :: 500+ :: Sorry if this is a bit much XD but you wanted a breakdown so you got a Saxif breakdown = a whole lot of bent up emotion ^_^
The huntress fell with a sudden surprise as her muscles had just relaxed from the release of the knife. A slight anger at whoever tackled her grew but was quick to recognize the soft voice before reacting. Shiloh had awoken and now interrogated the ivory wolf’s build in distress. She wanted to feel better as a soft chuckle erupted at the small wolf’s attempt to keep Saxif on the ground as she licked her. But the pleasant laugh was tainted by the lingering anger of her demon. The huntress looked at the girl atop her back but quickly turned her gaze back down. She did not want Shiloh to know her anguish she was scared she would some how blame it on herself.
I’m fine, just working out. The scarred female gazed at her unbelieving, she would not be fooled. Saxif sighed slightly pushing her body upward easily displacing the girl from her back. She slid her legs around to face Shiloh. Ignoring Shiloh’s earlier request the question she had hoped to keep within her came out in a slew of demands anyway. It was a new side of Saxif, a darker side that had been developing, festering within her. Knowing that Shiloh was safe she realized still was not enough.
Shiloh, please tell me who hurt you… tell me. Tell me anything so I may find him, so I may destroy him. She snarled the last two words. Everyday since you have been in pain because of him has pained me. I know it is silly and downright dumb to have taken such a blow right here because of him and he didn’t even hurt me directly. She beat her chest once with her fist holding it there as she spoke, the knock seemingly paining her heart. Or maybe he has, I don’t know. Please Shiloh tell me anything that would help me find him. The pain in her throat that had been rising since her first heavy words finally burst into a painful sob.
Please! She knew her begging would be for not. It was too much to ask of Shiloh, the guilt of realizing this seemed to wash away most of her anger. Engulfing her in a sadness as she continued to cry as she spoke. Forgive me, I should not have said anything. It is not my place. She arose and started to head toward the village before Shiloh had even said a word. She did not want to add to Shiloh’s worries, did not want her to see her cry like she had the night she found out about her.
She rubbed her chest again feeling the burn she had that dreadful night of her return. It was the burn that had changed her heart in a way that would be both a blessing and a curse to the huntress. She didn’t understand why she felt so distraught for Shiloh’s misfortunes, didn’t understand her desire to always lay her hand upon hers. Maybe one day she would but not that day, that day she saw herself as a silly girl trying to play the hero to a friend. She needed more than that, she needed someone to support her make her feel beautiful and wanted. Saxif couldn’t do that for her, she was only a silly girl.
Shiloh is going to be pissed! not only that but she wants to tell Saxif everything but she starts to stutter to hard. imma try and bet you 500+ word post :p Song playing: show me how you burlesque.... oh i know this is like over over over the top but WC: 817 i think i killed the 500+ (laughs)
Shiloh knew she was mad the moment she had jumped on her. She could feel Saxif's anger roll though her body before she noticed who was upon her. Shiloh had never seen this much anger within her normally caring and loving friend and she wondered if she was the reason Saxif was acting this way. There was a angered demenor about her and Shiloh backed away from her friend as her anger seemed to spark and catch fire as she demanded Shiloh tell her who hurt her. Saxif wouldn't look at her as she begged her to tell her so she could kill him, kill who hurt her. She snarled in her anger only making Shiloh back up more. What happened to the woman she fell asleep to, what happened to the kind woman she cared so much about.
She listened to her angered hurt words and as she continued to let go of how she felt Shiloh knew she wouldn't ever be able to tell Saxif about her attacker in fears she would lose her. She had grown close to the ivory huntress and she had no doubt that Saxif would kill him but at what cost to her own flawless body. She knew Saxif blamed herself for her attack but how could she have known Shiloh was going to be raped? She wouldn't have been able to protect her from a fate that was out of her hands and Shiloh knew she was protecting her by not telling her. She pawed at the ground as Saxif begged her to tell her anything that would help her find him, anything that would bring her closer to her rapist. Shiloh could feel Saxif's guilt for not being at her side the day it happened, not being the one who found her and brought her back to the village for help. Shiloh knew every day since Saxif had found out about her attack she blamed herself for not being at her side and whispering words of encouragement, giving her the will to live, the will to hold on to someone anyone that might love her.
Shiloh watched as her anger fizzled out and turned into a great heavy sadness her friend held on her shoulders. It was her tears that hurt Shiloh more then anything. She wanted to tell Saxif that there was nothing she could have done to protect her, that things happen for a reason and she can't fight things out of her control. She wanted to tell her her emotions weren't silly or dumb and that in caring for her Shiloh saw her on a whole different level now. But before she could even change back to her Optime form and tell her how she felt Saxif was up and walking away, her pain and tears weighing her down, the pain in her heart also bring Shiloh pain.
Shiloh changed and went to grab the knife out of the tree, failing at first to dislodge it from the dead branch. After a few more tugs she pulled it out and ran after Saxif, stopping her and holding up her dagger. It was heavy and wickedly curved and sharp and as Shiloh held it up she could almost feel Saxif killing her attack, see the blade covered in her blood. Oh how she wished he was dead but deep down she knew two wrongs don't make a right and she would not let Saxif have blood on her hands. "I..I will no..not le...let you kill him. I will not let you hav... have his blood on you... your han... hands. This.." she guestured to the dagger in her hands. She could almost feel Saxif's anger flowing though it as she held it up "This anger you feel towards my attacker is not worth it. Your better then him... be..better then this anger you let con..consume you!" she yelled throwing the dagger down into the dirt and pulling Saxif into a tight hug, her face under the ivory huntresses chin.
"I would di... die if anything hap... happened to... you. You are the on... only on... one who... understands me. I can...can't lose a friend lik..like you Saxif. I can't watch you get hurt over someone elses actions," she whispered as she listened to Saxif's heart race under her skin, the pent up emotions she was trying so hard to keep in. Shiloh held her until she felt something wet hit her nose. Saxif's tears were still falling and Shiloh looked up into her eyes, eyes that saw her differently. "Let it go Saxif. You know your better then this," she whispered licking away her tears. "Just let it go..." she whispered again hoping Saxif took her words to heart and honestly let her feelings go, let the pain she held inside her go like she did with dagger throws.
Saxif stopped abruptly at the sight of the knife wielding Shiloh. The sight was almost comical but also slightly disturbing, the look on Shiloh’s face said it all. She was not happy with how Saxif had reacted she would not stand for it. As she brokenly yelled at the huntress Saxif felt guilty, she had just caused her friend more pain. The yellowish wolf though commended the smaller female internally; she showed so much strength in that one moment. Had Saxif caused this sudden burst of confidence? Then she pulled her into an embrace that threw the girl into a state of confusion. Shiloh was mad at her but now she hugged her? Her scent filled her momentarily distracting the huntress from the moment causing her arms to wrap around Shiloh. What was it about her that made her do these things?
It was thoroughly frustrating being around Shiloh cause she couldn’t stay mad as she wanted to. Then her voice whispered into her ears telling her just what she had not wanted to do. The burn in her chest grew hotter the second time she asked her to let go. So that is what she did, she gripped Shiloh firmly and began to cry harder. Those gasping loud cries she had cried for Shiloh the night she found out her misfortune. The burn enveloped her chest and abdomen causing her to cry greater. Eventually her muscles grew weaker pulling Shiloh down with her as her knees grew slowly limp. She sat holding the scarred girl in her lap crying into her shoulder afraid to look at her. She could feel her comforting her, hear her soft whispers but she was not listening she would just cry.
Sometimes she would cry from anger other times from sadness and guilt. When her thoughts shifted to anger sometimes her grip would tighten around Shiloh’s chest and waist her claws would be felt but she always pulled them back before she punctured skin. When she cried from sadness her body would go limp and Shiloh would have to support her weight. Every bit of stress she had felt built inside, she cried it out that day. Shiloh saw what she had feared she would, that she was not a just a fearless hunter bent on training, food and exercise. Saxif was a female as well, just as emotionally sensitive and just as capable of pain. The huntress wept for what seemed to her hours but was probably just below one. She had hoped her friend wouldn’t think less of her or think of her as weaker.
The pale wolf eventually pulled her face back carefully her slowed cries now turning into unstoppable gasps. Her breaths labored and shook as she inhaled more calmly now. Shiloh, I was so scared. So scared for you. She raised her golden hued eyes and looked into the soft green eyes of her best-friend. Her heart filled with complete and utter warmth that unsettled her but she let it in. In that moment she looked at her as though not looking at a friend. The late daylight hit her grey fur in such a way to light it up. Saxif suddenly pressed her nose against hers, her hands gripping her hips in an intimate way. She held her nose there for a moment, her eyes firmly shut for she was scared to see Shiloh’s reaction. Her thoughts grew wild with a strange desire that confused the huntress yet again.
She pulled her nose back and looked down slightly ashamed of the act, scared she had crossed a line. If I had lost you Shiloh, I don’t think I could have moved on. I know its silly to say such a thing as we had really only known each other only one day. But you have become something to me that day, more than just a friend. More than just a friend… The last words flowed in a soft confused whisper. What is more than a friend, more than a best-friend. A soul-mate? This female definitely had to be her soul-mate.
Shiloh I think you’re my soul-mate, my friend for life. She pulled the small grey wolf into a soft embrace again. She enjoyed hugging her so much she didn’t want to let her go, her hand rubbed her back stopping at her scars just a little longer than other points. She pulled her body closer to her own happily taking in her warmth even on the hot evening. She breathed in her scent heavily memorizing its very core so she would never lose her. From a distance they would have seemed as two lovers holding one another, caressing one another. Though that day they were friends who had just shared a moment of complete and utter release.
Saxif would not cry like that for a long time if at all. She would be stronger and greatly happy. But the anger she expressed would not leave her; it would still brew in her like a plague. Ever haunting her, changing her more and more. But in that moment it was forgotten and all that remained was her love for her friend as she held her in her lap continuing to be comforted by the scarred girl. Little did she know just how much she loved her, how deeply and passionately her love would go in the time to come.
WC:686 I have been depressed lately so my posts will be lacking some. sorry.
Shiloh held her close as she cried, tears of pain, of joy, or anger washing away from Saxif. She didn't understand why she felt the need to hug Saxif but as Saxif let go of the emotions Shiloh knew she had been holding inside she felt something stur inside her. At her words of letting go Shiloh felt Saxif give and cry harder, Shiloh all but supporting the huntress now. Her ivory head lay atop her own and it wasn't soon that Saxif's legs gave way and they were on the ground, Saxif crying harder still and holding Shiloh close.
"Shhh Saxif... I'm here for you.... I'm safe with you..." she would whisper over and over as Saxif let go of her feelings. There was times when Shiloh knew her anger had arisen, for her claws would dig into her fur only to stop from breaking skin or seriously hurting her. Then when the anger had fizzled out burying its self deep within Saxif again, did she cry her guilt and angush of holding such anger inside her. They stay like that for what felt like hours, Shiloh holding up Saxif as she cried against her. In this moment Shiloh saw care and understanding and maybe something deeper under her normally fearless huntress. She saw a sensitive side of Saxif she didn't think she was capible of having within her and Shiloh enbraced her in all her flaws and feelings.
When she pulled back Shiloh just smiled and licked away a tear that ran down her face. “Shiloh, I was so scared. So scared for you.” her words came out breathy and shaky but Shiloh understood how she felt "But I am here now, safe in your arms. That is all that should matter to you," she whispered as she looked into Saxif's now liquid gold eyes. Gone was the orangeish hue from her eyes, the anger she held for Shiloh's attacker still lingering but now pushed back to a darker recess of her mind. Shiloh was so consume by her thoughts that when Saxif pressed her nose to her own and gripped her hips in a way that both shocked and consumed Shiloh she couldn't surpress her whine of shock. The only way to describe the way Saxif held Shiloh in that moment would be to describe how two lovers kiss for the first time. And that is what it was, a kiss between two close friends, both laid open for the other to see.
The desire and longing that suddenly took over Shiloh as Saxif pulled away was strong and powerful and she licked her cheek as she looked down before nibbling her ear softly. Shiloh was so consumed by Saxif's scent and taste that she only caught the last part of her explaination. "More then just friends she has whispered softly as Shiloh leaned away to look at her. Her next statement caught the grey wolf off guard and left her breathless. “Shiloh I think you’re my soul-mate, my friend for life.” Saxif had said with so much confidence in her voice in that moment every thing made sense. The embrace Saxif pulled Shiloh into melted her heart and left warmth and comfort in her, something she had longed for since the fire that had taken her family. Shiloh curled her tail around and snuggled down into Saxif, her scent and warmth consuming her, almost like a drug she couldn't get enough of.
"Soul mates.... something I never thought I would find but now.... now I have and you mean the world to me," she whispered softly against her. Little did Shiloh know that in the time to come Saxif would become more to her, more then the confused friends they were now. Their future together would create a bond between them that would not only bring them close but bring a better understanding of who they were and why they felt the way they did towards each other. Shiloh's love for Saxif would be unrelentless and consuming. Shiloh would love Saxif with all her being but she didn't know it would never ever be enough.
