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---- Abel was so overwhelmed with everything going on. Meeting two coyotes in row telling him he was this... this Segodi that he had no remembrance to. The names that Faolin had given him had been doing nothing but running through his head. He repeated them, thought of them, and even begin to make fake personalities and appearance and other various things to go with each name. Abel wondered if it even helped him at all to do this or if he was creating a false sense of knowledge to just please his so-called adopted daughter. He looked down at his feet, his hands cupping his knee caps as he sat there, a little uncomfortable. The land seemed to be something familiar to him, like he had seen it in a picture before, but there was something in the back of his mind reminding him: you have never been here before, Abel, ignore them.
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"Firefly!?" The alpha's already grainy voice was beginning to downright crack from his incessant repeating of the same word at the top of his lungs, over and over. But it was not just any random word he was screaming fearfully, it was the name of his daugher. His missing daughter. Phoenix could not believe this was happening, that he was losing a child. All he'd wanted was to be a good father and he was already failing them--and they were less than three months old! Firefly? Firefly!" he continued to scream before coughing dryly. Fortunately he was close by the river. He needed to replenish the moisture in his throat before he lost it. Just a quick drink he would allow himself, and then it would be right back to searching for his missing child.
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---- Abel had never felt so much trouble since he had woken up from his past life. His thoughts had always been clear and simple and nothing that confused him unless it was a simple question. After running into a wolf that helped him a little, gave him something to eat and showed him to some water and ultimately, gave him the name Abel. Now, he had two names, one he didn't remember. He closed his eyes and tried to think about the times with that wolf, how confusing--yet easy--it was, but now... now he was feeling pressure, pressure to bring his life back and he just wasn't ready. Though, with no prior knowledge, he doubted he would ever be ready.
---- A name fell upon his ears and he looked up to watch a wolf come near him. He looked scared and worried and Abel just stared and watched him until he came to drank. "Wh-who are you looking for?"
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There had been a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach since the moment Iskata told him that their daughter was missing. The only thing that kept him sane was his other children. He could not let up or show just how fearful he was with them watching. As it was they were scared out of their wits and needed him to seem brave for them, especially Kansas. It was hard but fortunately Phoenix had plenty of experience being brave in the face of fear. If his daughter was still alive out their, she would need to have inheritated his bravery to survive.
A coyote startled him as he drank, and the wolf that looked up at him was not the usual collected, calm Alpha of Storm. No, this was a wild-eyed, panciky creature: a parent who had lost one of his children. Phoenix's worst nightmare was coming true, and he didn't know how to handle it. "M-my daughter," his stutter matched the coyote's, Phoenix had never stuttered this badly in such a long time, but the past couple days had stripped away much of the calm maturity that he had worked so hard to accumulate over the years.
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---- The coyote didn't know what to say. It was as if he had lost the emotion of empathy or something of the sort because Abel just looked at him. He looked down at the grass in order to think of something. That was a statement he should have expected, but hearing it was so much more different. His magenta tongue came out and ran across his lips as he thought about it, finally lifting his head. "I lost my children," he said. It was weird to say, that he actually had children. He thought about Faolin from the day before and tried to hold her in his mind but it was difficult enough to think about. She had introduced him to who he really was, even if she was all he had left from before he woke up.
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He wanted to be out there looking for his daughter still, but something compelled him to stay and interact with this coyote he had never bet before. perhaps it was because he hadn't slept in days and needed a break, or perhaps it was the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he should know this coyote. Little did he know that it was not just his memories that were being triggered, but someone else's. He had shared minds with Faolin enough times to have gleaned a few mental impressions from her. And he had scented Segodi before, on the borders of Inferni so long ago. But at the moment he was too frantic, his mind too focused on the poor innocent little girl that he had sired but was now floundering to protect.
Phoenix shook his head as the coyote tried to make an empathetic gesture. "How does that help me?" he snapped, the tension killing whatever capacity for tact he'd once had. No, he couldn't know what Phoenix was going through, the fears he was experiencing that he would lose everythig he had all over again. In a way life had been so much simpler when he had been miserable and had nothing. There was nothing he'd been afraid to lose back then. Nowadays he had everything to lose. "I'm sorry," he finally said after a sigh. "I'm just... really, really worried. She's been missin' for a couple days now, and I'm afraid I'll never see her again. Ever."
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---- Had it been any other time (when he was able to remember) that statement wold have hurt. It would have sliced through his heart faster than any bullet he could have felt. The comment, however, did not. It was true. It did not help the other find his daughter, unless he wanted to feel better off that he lost one child instead of... however many he had. The coyote shrugged a little but otherwise, didn't move. He was afraid of losing his child and he understood, completely, but couldn't relate. How could you feel loss on something you didn't remember? When there were no emotional attachment at all? He looked away, uneasy, and was quiet. Now, he imagined that the wolf would go on his way and search for his daughter.
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It would be easier if he new he could count on his mate for support. Instead, this seemed to be rippin a rift right between him and Iskata. She'd yelled at him, as if this was all his fault. He didn't say anything in return, but in the back of his mind he blamed her for all this. She had allowed DaVinci access to their children, which he had felt from day one to be a bad idea. But what could he do or say? Iskata had wanted the children to know their older brother no matter how big a monster he was, and Phoenix didn't feel right in denying that. And now... a resentment brewed between them, and Phoenix couldn't see any sign of it simmering down.
Phoenix stopped to stare at the coyote for a minute, his eyes unintentionally boring into him. Finally he gave up trying to shase the phantom in his head and turned to leave. "Say hello to Faolin for me..." he said as he left, though his voice seemed far away, distant. In reality that's exactly where his mind was, and for a second he lost control of his powerful mind and let it spill out into the world around him... and then let it have free reign with his mouth at the same time.
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---- He had turned to go and Abel just sat there. He hadn't really planned on going anywhere any time soon. If he could, he would have thought about something to relax him but there was nothing coming to mind. Instead, he was forced to look up as the wolf had given him a request. "Faolin?" he asked, dumbly. He knew the name quite well. She had talked to him about his past and told him that he was her father, even if not by blood. Apparently, that didn't matter. He was her father and she was emotionally attached to him despite the fact he could not connect with her. "How much do you know about her?"
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He hadn't even realized what he'd said, not until his words were inquired about. Phoenix froze in his tracks and had to mentally rewind the last five seconds. Why had he mentioned Faolin? In the back of his mind Phoenix somehow knew there was a connection between these two coyotes... he just didn't know what it was or how he knew about it.
He turned around to look more closely at the coyote, having to forcefully rip his focus away from his missing child. He thought for a few minutes before replying, and decided that there was no reason to be dishonest. I know her pretty well, he admitted. She an' I... have a lot of things in common. How do you know her?
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----A lot of things in common? This wolf, who he had no previous knowledge about, knew more about his daughter than he did. Was amnesia an excuse? Rolling a shoulder pack, the other asked about the relationship between him and the younger female coyote. "Well, she's..." he paused, swallowing his nervousness. Was he going to admit it? Would saying it make it fact that he was Segodi? Faolin's father, Hybrid, Nyika, Tedros, Vienna, and who else knew the others? He stared with caramel eyes at the wolf. "...my daughter," he finally said after a long hesitation. Saying it felt weird, like saying he wasn't a coyote or some other big lie he could have made up. Though, Faolin seemed so set that he was her father that something was inside him pressing on to find out the truth and even lie to himself if it came down to it, just so he wouldn't hurt her.
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It wasn't until the answer came that everything else clicked inside Phoenix's head, jsut who this was and why he'd thought he'd recognized the coyote in the first place. And, more importantly, what he had done to come to this point. His mind was exhausted yet aggravation and fear prevented him from resting, causing a volatile situation, psychically speaking.
Giving in, Phoenix turned back around and took a retraced a few steps closer to the stranger. You must be Segodi then, he concluded. I remember when you used t'lead Inferni, even if we never met back then. I'm Phoenix, the Alpha of Storm. I'm sorry t'say Gibraltar's gone. You two used t'be friends or somethin', right?
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---- The other turned around and came back to him. Abel shifted in his seat and looked up to listen. So, another to say he was Segodi, even if it wasn't based on looks. Had he really led some placed called Inferni? He wondered where it was, assuming that maybe it was were Faolin was staying and where the hybrid coyote had first met him. This... Pheonix went on anyway and spoke of something else. "Gibraltar?" he asked, tilting his head. Faolin hadn't mentioned him but he imagined there were other things that his daughter might not know. "I don't... really know what you're talking about, I'm sorry," he added and blinked, rolling his shoulders into a shrug.
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Something was off but Phoenix was too exhausted to deduce or even care about figuring out what it was. As much as he wanted to get back to the search for Firefly, the chance to hear about how his old friend was doing could not be passed up. Perhaps she had seen Firefly... he knew that his daughter had met the coyote at least once, and there could be a chance that she might help in the search, assuming they were wrong about Firefly's whereabouts--which Phoenix hoped they were.
Huh? Segodi's words seemed a bit odd but Phoenix had been unsure just what kind of friendchip he and Gibraltar had had. All he knew was that the alpha had gone to Inferni on multiple occassions and had seemed very trusting of their leader. he had never bothered to pry into the personal details of Gibraltar's life mostly because he was content to look at his former alpha as a figurehead. Oh, never mind. Hey, next time y'see Faolin could you ask her to keep an eye out for my daughter, Firefly? Mebbe her empathy could be of use. He was making a big leap in assuming that Faolin had told her father about her ability. But if Segodi was her father, how could he not know about something as big as this?
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---- There was nothing Abel could do. He didn't know how to respond and Phoenix had, by now, dismissed the situation on Gibraltar. He went on about his daughter again and for him to mention the puppy to Faolin, but Abel wasn't so sure that he was going to go back there without any further knowledge. Looking at the girl just hurt him too much, anyway. He just blew it off and nodded his head anyway, looking to the side. His face was empty by now and he held no emotion. He felt void, now, knowing that there should be something there to fill in his life. Even the male who knew his daughter well enough couldn't give him anything. "I don't think I'll be seeing her anytime soon," he muttered under his breath.
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All he needed was a glimmer of hope, no matter how faint. Even if it was just something he was making up, it helped ease the tension somewhat. The odds of Firefly being within the vicinity of Inferni were slim to none, and of Faolin finding her before any of her wild clanmates even slimmer, but Phoenix needed to know that he had friends out there who could recognize her and bring her home if she got lost.
But then it was dashed by his would-be messenger. Phoenix fought the fury, not at the coyote, but at his own frustration. His daughter was gone, and there was little he coudl do about it. Why not? he asked, sounding a bit more forceful than he'd intended. But he was a desparate male, and desparation made many do crazy things.
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---- Why not? Because he was a coward, that's why. He wasn't sure how to respond or what to tell this worried father. By him not seeing his own daughter would cause an array of emotions that Abel was not prepared for. "Because... I don't know, I don't know her, I don't know... anything," he said, trying to explain. Once more he was holding the other from searching for his daughter, but Abel was searching for his life. "I have nothing. I don't know Faolin. How do you not remember your own children?" he asked, a question he had asked Faolin just the day before. It was something that he didn't understand. Children were supposed to be your life for months until they could survive on their won and it was like everything before he woke up was just cut away all at once, without warning.
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Oooooooh. Once again, everything clicked into place for the wearly wolf. he wouldn't have understood a word of what Segodi had said if he hadn't had experience with this "conditio" before. Amnesia had plagues his won mate once, and it was his efforts to repair her mind that had brought them closer than either of them had ever intended. Sighing, Phoenix sat took a seat. Maybe Segodi had no clue what he was going through, but he had a good idea what the coyote was experiencing. Memory loss, huh? he guessed aloud. That happened to my own mate, once. She couldn't remember what happened to her own children either. And it was her actions in that befuddled state that had brought them to this desparate situation, though that was one of the few things right now that he didn't blame her for. No, it was DaVinci's fault for not being able to forgive what his mother had accidentally done.
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---- Abel extended his legs out and then folded them in to sit indian style as the other sat. Phoenix had stated his problem the coyote just shook his head. "I was around when Faolin found me and she scared me at first. She told me that I was her father. I didn't know what to do and I... I hurt her. I hurt my own daughter," he said, commenting on his own crime. He kept his eyes on the ground because of his shame. He went on, though, about his mate having lost her memory. "Did she get it back?" he asked after a moment, wondering and full of thought. Maybe if she did, Abel would have hope. Maybe that Abel wouldn't be Abel anymore and he could finally looking at Faolin for who she is and maybe remember what happened to everyone else and himself as well.
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This... seemed insane. Phoenix didn't normally trust anybody from the Land of Wuffluvers with his secret aside from Faolin. His experiences with the clan showed they weren't to be trusted. But this was Faolin's father here, and if her father needed help then he would try his best... for her. Phoenix merely smiled crookedly and shook his head. Yeah... with my help. Y'see, Faolin an' I are both psychic... though I'm more, uhm, talented than she is. I can go inside others' heads. I helped my mate get her memories back that way... with a lot of work. He could promise nothing. In his exhausted state his ability to focus was severely hampered. Plus Iskata had also been a telepath and more receptive to his probings... he doubted that the same could be said for this dog. But it was worth a shot, assuming Segodi didn't run away in panic within the next thirty seconds.
Segodi thinks he's crazy, declines, and then runs away, Phoenix goes back to hunting his daughter. The end.
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