you can have my soul for a dance

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-18-2011, 12:56 AM

Zana had not been in the clan's land recently, she had taken a journey to the far south regions of the lands and studied the packs there. She was not certain if she had a better understanding of them or if she was now more confused. They lead strange and unusual lives, mingling more human than animal. The savage beast inside her was use to this, but to see to such extent to even take on human belief's and customs. She didn't shun these creatures for this but it didn't make her want to hang around their borders and members anymore than was needed.

She had returned home though and with her return she had spent much time exploring the clan's lands. The Lykoi woman had grown uneasy with how quickly one of the younger creatures of the clan had attacked another at the borders, interfering with Zana's job as she had been questioning the woman and receiving information in exchange. She in a way had turned against one of her own clan but in her eyes it had been justifiable. Her rank held her in higher regards, she had been seeing to her duties and the youth had taken like a brat and lunged right into the mists of things with no want for explanation or wait as well.

Zana had no problem with telling her tale to their leader if the younger member had run off straight to Ezekiel. She had done nothing wrong and was in every right to perform her duties as she saw fit. Ezekiel after all had placed her in that tier for a reason and the small woman was proud of her rank and duties, she would not bow to a child's whims just because their hatred was greater than their ability to reason.

She sighed as the ideas rolled over in her mind once again as she joined the feline Sup-Sup in digging a hole. Why the feline was digging a hole she didn't know but the rhythmic motions were enough to make her forget her worries for the time being, and a little dirt never hurt anyone.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 04:09 PM

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I spy with my little eye a Zana AW thread Big Grin

Helotes had found himself heading towards the Grottos today, meandering slowly in his Optime form. Today was a day of rest, since he had been training hard every day ever since his meeting with Halo. The succubus that she was made it difficult to focus at times, but her venom was a potent one, one that he wished to avoid at all costs. She was also a snide one, every small error was to be criticized and every triumph to be ignore; she was a tough trainer, but he was glad of her, he had already gained skill under her tutelage.

As he walking Helotes was afforded an easy meal, as a hare was caught in an old snare of some kind. There were no scents of any clan member around, so he guessed it must have been an old trap that had been forgotten. With a quick flick of the wrist he ended the hare’s life with nothing but an eerie scream that was cut short from it. He removed the body from the trap, already limp, the broken neck sticking out at a strange angle. Perhaps he should see if Zana was home, he knew she had been traveling outside the lands recently, but it had been a while since he had seen her.

He pondered their last private meeting as he quickly his pace towards her hollowed out tree; they had nearly broken the bond of friendship to something more, something much more sinister but much more exciting. Helotes had been dwelling on this often, in the times right before he fell asleep. Could it even be a possibility that Zana and he could have an semblance of a normal relationship now? Deep inside he hoped against hope that someday life would afford them the luxury of romance.

He was in luck this day and saw her digging a whole next to one of her cats and couldn’t help but smile. She had recently gifted one of the felines to Enkiel, much to his chagrin. Zana sure did a strange sense of humor sometimes. He made no attempt to sneak up on her, but as he approached her cat caught sight and disappeared into the tree, he chuckled, Hello Zana… He said softly, giving her a handsome smile.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 07:59 PM

There was much on the small woman's mind and the rhythmic motions of a mindless task was about the only thing she had to sooth a restless heart and soul. She had seen little of Helotes lately, their ranks and duties taking them further and further away from one another. She hadn't given thought to their placement within the clan til recently, when she realized that Helotes answered to one clan members alone besides Ezekiel. She had probably doomed their friendship over and over again in the past few phases of the moon with her antics and emotions. The Lykoi female hadn't even sought out her cousin when she'd returned from the plains.

Instead she'd taken up her duties once more, finding herself stepping on toes and stepping out of line over and over again. She couldn't help but let her mind roam over the idea of the foolish youth, and in turn the woman who mentored the monster. Zana could understand how some of the clan hated wolves, hated the packs, but outright death for approaching their borders in peace was against her own duties and role in the pack. She snarled to herself as her nails dug deeper into the earth as it twisted and churned in her mind.

She could not forget the woman's warning for her open dislike of the bitch. She had no problem with the world knowing their open hostility, after all Halo had started it. Zana hadn't even realized when Sup-Sup had abandoned the digging and sat back and watched, nor had she noticed when the young feline had disappeared into the strange den they shared. She almost didn't even hear the male calling to her until she recognized the voice. Her motions slowed and she backed out of the hole she had been working on to stare at the cousin before her.

The scent of earth was strong, and the mists of the springs were thick but the overly sickening scent of the woman could still be smelled clinging to his pelt. She narrowed her eyes slightly as she turned away. "You reek of her.." she said as she slowly began to walk away.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 08:19 PM

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Ahhh Helotes is so pathetic XD

He could immediately tell something was wrong before she even spoke, the usual luster of her alluring lavender eyes was replaced with something else. Helotes took another step forward when like a snake she hissed her words at him and he froze. He reeked of whom? It took him a moment to understand what was happening here. He smelled only of Halo, since he had recently trained with her, but why this would bother Zana so much was beyond him; were they not cousins? Were they not clan mates?

Helotes flattened his ears against his scalp and walked towards her as she turned from him, Are you talking about Halo? Is there bad blood between you two? He got down on all fours, picking up the corpse of the rabbit in his maw and closing the distance between the two of them. She still would not look at him, even though he gave her a pathetic whine and he set the body down by the base of her tree, Zana… I have not been with her… in that way, if that’s what you’re concerned about. He honestly had no clue what was going on. Was she jealous of the time he had been spending with Halo? It was only his duty to become a stronger warrior for the clan and she was his superior in his tier, and Zana herself was busy with her own duties; sometimes long periods apart were unavoidable. Did Zana believe something romantic was going on between them? Helotes nearly laughed at the thought.

But something really seemed to be eating at his best friend and he didn’t like it, he bent down and nudged the rabbit with his nose, I brought you some dinner… He said quietly, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes. He didn't want Zana to be angry or sad, and would strive to always keep her happy.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 10:29 PM

There was very little the tiny woman feared. She had played her young life with venom, poison and war and had somehow survived this far. In most eyes she should have been killed at birth, in others she should have died somewhere along the lines to adulthood, but she had the heart and soul of a survivor and she would not back down to anything, but even she knew when to watch her back. With Halo, many seasons ago she had learned that if she ever truly returned to the clan she would have to have one eye turned to the shadows at all times. She had been labeled a traitor, she had seen the hatred in the black hearted beast and known that only death would wait for her if she drew to close to the viper's fangs. She in turn had fashioned fangs of her own, filled with deadly venom and a heart of stone for the woman who once could have been her closest ally.

Now there was a dark shadow that loomed over everything she did. She had been placed in a tier where she didn't have to answer to the whims of the other woman.. and yet Helotes was her own warrior in training. What stood between them had been so delicate when it had began, now she feared under the poison and shadows of Halo it would dissolve and decay like life had never been breathed into the idea at all. She was certain the bitch had been whispering her sins and trials into his ear, darkening them, making them seem twice as dire as they ever had been.

Her tiny shoulders slumped as she continued to walk away, his words trailing after her as she pinned her oversized ears back. His words laid seeds of doubt in her mind that Halo had spoken to him about how horrible a traitor she was, but she let them slide past. She didn't even want to think of the woman and yet it seemed that everything since she'd returned from the clan meeting had circled around the dark creature. She had swiftly made her way into the small entrance to her den rather squirrel like as she let the darkness of her home envelope her.

The woman sighed and closed her eyes a moment before shifting slightly to where she could still see Helotes sitting so pathetically down below the entrance to her nest. Sup-sup chirped from the darkness beyond before swiftly trotting over and leaning his weight against her side. Her grey lilac eyes trailed down upon her dark toned cousin as storm clouds brewed behind their normal mischievous hues. "You'll fall from her graces tainting yourself with the likes of me.." She said in response, not answering anything, yet answering everything all the same.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 10:59 PM

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She looked so sad, so dejected, as she ignored his words and actions and climbed up into her hovel, disappearing for a moment. Helotes ears drooped again, and he whined once more. She then poked her small face outside to look at him, her eyes dark with things he couldn’t even fathom. She said something about him falling from Halo’s graces if he associated himself her and Helotes stood up, his head nearly reaching the hole, but it being just slightly out of reach.

Zana, I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but it has nothing to do with me. Halo is nothing more than my trainer, our relationship ends at that. She is not my friend, and I doubt she would have me as one. She has no interest in knowing anything about me except for my battle prowess. It was true, Halo was somewhat of a loner within the clan and Helotes believed this stemmed from her pride, her viciousness, and her relative lack of social tact. She had an air of being better than everyone else, and he felt that she only tolerated him for his bloodline; but then why not Zana? She was a Lykoi just as he. There was something that had happened in the past that he was obviously missing.

He peered into the hollow and saw the little feline purring up against Zana, and when it saw him it hissed. He drew away at this, looking sadly at Zana again, Please… He said softly, a bit of sorrow edging on his voice, Don’t push me away… He would fight for her if he had to, but he wasn’t sure he could forego his training for Zana. If she wanted to be petty and let her feelings for Halo interfere for her relationship with him, then there was not much he could do.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 11:23 PM

She had not expected him to come after her, she had almost believed he would have turned away and let everything die there. He had ambition, he had pride, and she was little more than nothing in the clan. She was the silent one, the shadow, she was a look of eternal innocence to a stranger from another lands.. and she was the smallest, no threat to anyone who didn't know her. Ezekiel had taken everything that had shamed her in the past and put it to use, molding her into a scout, spy and ambassador of sorts. While she could live with being the undercover shadow within the clan she didn't know if she could deal with losing Helotes to Halo.

She had been running her fingers through the felines fur when Helotes had finally found his way to eye level with her keep. The small feline showing his dislike for the solitude being interrupted as he dashed off to some dark recess of the hollow and Zana caught the shadows across her cousin's maw as he retreated back down to earth, his voice trailing off as she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened. It all seemed fair foolish but she was tired, for one so small and so young she was tired of the fight, tired of the battles, tired of the rat race.

Her sad eyes followed his form as she let her head rest against the smooth bark of the old tree, her voice worn and weary as she spoke. "All my life I've had to fight.. to prove I deserve to live, that I'm not some pet or plaything...that I'm not a child.. and just once I'm tired of fighting, but I can't.. She won't let me.. if I remain here." She felt it was the truth, even if she didn't know it yet straight from the beast's maw. She didn't want to get that close to find out the truth, to give her a chance to rid the world of another traitor.. and yet Zana planned on proving her loyalty to the end for Ezekiel, for Helotes, and the rest that genuinely wanted her for her in these lands. Not for a blood tie or a name. She hadn't chosen her name, the only choice she had made was to their leader, to remain loyal to him and this she would prove over and over again.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-19-2011, 11:37 PM

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There was silence for a moment from the tree hollow and Helotes wondered if perhaps Zana had decided that their friendship was something that was not worth fighting for, something that could just be let go so easily. But then she spoke, her voice thick with despair. He listened, ears trained to the sound of her voice, as she let loose that for whatever reason, Halo was making her life difficult here. Helotes flicked an ear, still not understanding. Why would Halo do this to Zana, had she done something wrong? Either way, it seemed the lady warrior did not like the presence of her small cousin and was causing Zana distress.

Helotes wasn’t sure what to do about this and he looked to ground in concentration. Halo had not spoken of Zana in any form, so apparently her issue with Zana was either not important enough or she was hiding her feelings on it well. Either way, it seemed that Halo and Halo alone was the only one to have any bad blood with Zana, seeing as how Ezekiel seemed to have no issue with her. In which case, why did Zana really care? She had the Aquila’s approval, and he was superior over them all, including Halo.

Helotes stretched and stepped on his tip-toes just so his muzzle managed to reach into her hole. Their noses touched, Zana, you are strong, and an asset to Inferni. Ezekiel sees this, I see it; there are many in the clan that respect you. Don’t let her get to you, there is no need to feel like fighting. Tired of not being able to see into her eyes, Helotes reached up to grab a tree limb and lifted himself up onto it, now level with the hole. He looked at her small frame lovingly, his face nearly taking up the whole circumference of the entrance, We are a family here, the trivial fighting that happens between us will not tear us apart. Halo will be pushed down into the dirt if she even tires to hurt a golden hair on your head… He reached in to touch one of her blonde ringlets, once again taking back by how beautiful she was, and how completely unattainable.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-24-2011, 03:21 AM

She had not expected such a reaction from Helotes. She had known the male cared for her but the small woman had never been one to show emotion, to show a caring, loving side to another. She didn't understand how any form of a romantic relationship really worked and she had always been afraid to even attempt to pursue one, her fear of death in the past had always been stronger than her need to be wanted. Now though it seemed the odds were changing as she watched with distress in her eyes as Helotes brought himself up into the tree so he could speak to her easier.

Her grey lilac orbs fell upon him sadly as she realized that she couldn't tell him now about her deepest fear of Halo. It all seemed silly, for the woman would never be so crazy or arrogant to end the tiny spy's life inside or outside the clan's lands, would she.. Zana didn't know but she didn't want to find out either. Shivers rolled down her spine at the mere idea as she listened to the gentle, comforting words that her cousin offered. A smile wavered on her lips as she tried to show him that she appreciated his words, but there were no words she could find, not yet.

When one of his claws stroked a lock of her curling mane she hesitate for a moment before she wrapped her tiny fingers around his larger paw, leaning into his touch as she closed her eyes. "Do not fight over something as silly as me.." she whispered. She would never forgive herself if she found out that Helotes had fallen from grace within the clan because of something as far fetched as her honor. She might look like a creature that eternily needed protected but the one thing she needed protected from most was her own personal demons.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-24-2011, 02:03 PM

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His words seemed to help her, even though she still looked quite sad. When she grabbed his hand and leaned against it he couldn’t help but smile slightly, but then her words quickly diminished this, Zana, don’t say such things. You are my family and my friend, my best friend, you are not silly and are most definitely worth fighting for. With his other hand he tipped up her chin so he could look into her eyes, they were sad but he knew he could cheer her up now. He smiled, Now, let’s eat. He swung down to the ground and retrieved the hare before climbing back up to her again, Would you like to skin it? He offered, because he knew she used the pelts as bedding in her tree.

He looked inside the hollow a little, noting the various bottles and other strange things inside it; they mirrored the strange décor of the outside of the tree; Zana was quite a decorator. He wished though, that she would leave this silly tree behind and come live near him in the mansion, though now that he knew of her dislike of Halo this probably was not going to happen. And despite Helotes wanted so badly for her to be sociable, he knew that it was not in Zana’s nature and probably never would be. The male let out a sigh.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-26-2011, 11:28 PM

She couldn't help but smile slightly when he tilted her chin up to gaze into her grey lavender orbs. Zana didn't believe she was worth much in the eyes of many even though her rank alone showed that Ezekiel trusted her to some degree in her duties. She sighed softly and gave in. "And I only believe that because you said it.." She wasn't certain if she could have believed the words from anyone else, considering how strained the inner relations in the pack seemed at times. They were a family, but damned if it wasn't the most disfunctional family she'd ever belonged to.

Her eyes followed him as he disappeared down to the foot of the tree and reappeared with the rabbit. Her eyes shone with slight amusement as he asked if she would like to skin the creature, the bed nest of pelts and fur apparent from the opening to her den. "Yes. This will make a lovely edition to my collection..." She said as she disappeared into the den while Helotes peered in at the various collection of oddball assortments she housed within. It wasn't but a moment of time though before she returned to the entrance with a small shark knife made from the bone of a whale that had washed up onto Hades beach a few years past. She had spent much time on the beach then ignoring the smell of the carcass as she'd widdled many useful objects from the massive bones of the whale.

It was no time at all before she had the skin seperated from the meat. The pelt laid neatly aside, for she knew she would have to tan it before it would be of much use as bedding, though she was thankful of the offer Helotes had granted her just as well. She smiled at her dear friend as she spoke softly, "I missed you.." the offering of dinner laid between them on the limb Helotes sat on as she leaned against the entrance to her den, her eyes on her cousin alone as she admitted the loneliness of her rank at times.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-27-2011, 01:00 AM

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And just like that the old Zana was back, if not a quieter version. Though he loved it when she was feisty, he liked her this way too. He smiled, resting his large head on the lip of the entrance to her den, and watched as she skinned the rabbit. Small hands made quick works, he would have been fumbling with it for sure, but in no time before him the skin was removed and completely intact. He was impressed.

When she was finished, he removed a leg from the carcass and popped it in his mouth; it was meager and went down quickly, bones and all, however he nearly choked when she said she had missed him. He could feel his skin heat up under his fur and his heart began to pound faster; how strange. He smiled strangely, due to the bone being lodged halfway down his throat, which he then managed to put down, I missed you too, I wish you lived in the mansion… it was true, he was somewhat lonely there. It was only he and Kaena on the first floor, the rest resided upstairs. He would hear them walking around at night, making love, fighting, while he was stuck down below with his grandmother. Sufficed to say, it would get lonely there, for the closest friend he had was Zana.

Removing another leg but not swallowing it whole, this time choosing to nibble he looked at her for a moment, then, Have you ever thought about having pups? This came out as innocently as possible, and he didn’t realize it could be misconstrued to mean more.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-27-2011, 02:25 AM

She hadn't really thought that there were certain skills that she could perform so much easier than her larger cousins, and with her constant awareness of her size difference she always believed that she failed in all aspects while her cousins strength gave them such an easy path in life. To see it thorough another's eyes would probably surprise her, but knowing the small vixen hued woman she wouldn't believe a word of it either.

Zana watched though as Helotes took the first bite of rabbit, herself using the small sharp knife to cut through a haunch and quietly she began to nibble at the meat. She didn't mind that the rabbit was old, often it was the easier catches that filled her belly, and with how small she was the tiny game was the perfect size for her. She raised her eyes up though when Helotes replied to her comment, her ears flicking back slightly. She had not expected him to bring up the difference in their locations within the clan's lands. She'd chosen long ago to reside in the old oak when she realized that very few places on ground level were safe for one her size. She wouldn't admit that now but it still scared her, almost as much as the idea of residing in the same building as Halo.

She lowered her eyes a moment as she picked at what was left of the haunch she had been consuming as she spoke slowly. "I don't think I'd fit in well in the mansion.. and yet.." Her words died off as she gazed about her strange little home before a sad smile fell upon her lips. "I don't think someone your size would ever feel at home out here.." She'd chosen one of the creepiest locations in the land for her home, the mists that swirled around the pool and her tree were strange enough but there was even more late at night. While she'd grown adjusted to the sounds of the clan lands in the midnight hours she wondered how the rest of the clan would fair in a location such as the one where her den resided.

She had been about to speak again, for she hadn't really given him a real answer but it seemed he hadn't expected one as he changed the conversation once more. She blushed under her fur as she turned her eyes away to toss a bit of meat to Sup-Sup, who was hiding in her nest of furs. It was long enough for one to think she wasn't going to answer until a soft sigh escaped her lips as she turned back to Helotes. "Once.. but my clan's healer women believes that unless conceived early or they were like me.. none would survive." She didn't mention that herself was included in the outcome of childbirth, but after a moment of dawning her ears pinned back against her head as she turned bright eyes on Helotes and demanded. "Why.. why would you ask?" The blush that had creeped up her cheeks was slowly spreading across her whole face.

Helotes Lykoi · 12-28-2011, 12:22 AM

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He finished the last of the rabbit leg as he listened to her talk, and just as he suspected she didn’t feel right at the mansion. Thought disappointed he wouldn’t push her; he couldn’t expect her to pick up and move from her place of comfort. She then took a long pause when he asked about the pups and he wondered for a moment if perhaps he had offended her. He was about to apologize when she finally spoke, telling him that she had once thought it was possible. Did she no longer think it was? He decided to ask, What makes you think you couldn’t have puppies now? I only ask because… because… he paused, at a complete lack for words for he truly had no idea why he had asked her. Perhaps pups had been on his mind because of Halo’s new ones, or perhaps he was wondering if he had any half-siblings out there now; he had left his father with a very pregnant mate.

He gave her a funny look before grinning, I think you’d be a great mom, I think it’d be possible. He knew it would be a risk, but Luperci bodies were strong and sturdy; she could probably bring a pup or two to term no problem is she stayed in her Optime form. Helotes thought it would be interesting to see how Zana would act like a mother… and he as a father.

This thought struck him hard and suddenly Helotes lost balance and fell from the bough straight unto his back. He gasped in pain as the wind was knocked out of him and he laid there for a moment paralyzed before falling into fits of laughter. How silly he was, thinking that perhaps he and Zana could… he must be losing his mind.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 12-30-2011, 11:31 PM

She passed on another piece of the kill to the tiny fierce kitten who was hiding from sight of Helotes, snarling and growling over his newest kill as he sliced into the soft flesh of the rabbit. Zana eyed his actions with slight interest before deciding that the kitten might have been dropped on his head before she'd acquired him. She let her eyes drift back to Helotes naturally as he spoke, her emotions all mixed up at the conversations he was bringing forth and not having the answers for them. She hadn't really thought much on puppies or families aside from what she already had. She had preferred to not become some addle-minded dreamer who chased things they never really could hope to achieve. When he asked his next question it did make her think though.

Her grey lilac eyes were soft and stormy as she sat there, rolling a tiny rabbit bone between her fingers as she spoke. "There's only one thing I'm truly afraid of Helotes.." she said. Though she had never really shown it before, facing danger down and challengers twice to three times her size.. she did fear. Her voice was soft as she answered, her eyes seeing the male but not really seeing him as she gave away her weakness. "Death.." She knew death was the one thing they all must face in the end but in her small state she'd had to claw her way to where she was now, and she didn't plan on going out so easily.

She shook her head at the idea before continuing. "I see others with puppies and.. I wish I could have that type of lif--" Her words were cut short as her companion fell from the tree. She jolted to attention as she leaned out of the hole to her den and stared down at him in confusion and concern.. until he started to laugh. Her small ears pinned back as she huffed, assuming he was laughing at her. Had this all been some sort of joke to him she wanted to know. "Helotes, you can be horrible sometimes you know!" she screeched as she retreated back into her hallow, wondering just what in the world was wrong with males anymore.

Helotes Lykoi · 01-01-2012, 02:58 PM

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His mirth filled laughter was cut short though by the screech that emanated from Zana’s maw; she was not happy. Helotes was not dull, and though the ways of women sometimes where beyond him, he was quick to recognize that she had misconstrued his laughter to mean that he thought the idea of her bearing pups was humorous. The Lykoi male quickly stood, a little too quickly, and slammed his skull straight into the branch from which he had just fallen, HIJO DE PUTA! He cried out, reached up to rub the sore spot that would soon boil up. But he put aside the pain for now, and scrambled back up onto the branch, and stuck his entire face into Zana’s hollow, No! No! You misunderstood, I’m laughing because I’m a klutz and fell. Zana, please, I think you should have pups! and I want to be the father! No, what? NO!

Helotes nearly fell from the branch again, but instead clung on steadfastly and looked at Zana imploringly, a whine escaping him, I would never make fun of you Zana, you’re my friend and I love you. His voice hitched in his throat again, but he soon relaxed; the expression of love had been one of friendship and nothing more, right?... Right?

Helotes drew his head out of the hollow and looked down to the ground, somewhat ashamedly. He loved Zana, that was true, but once again he was faced by the impossibility of this love ever being more then platonic. He would love to father pups by her, but wasn’t convinced this would be something that could be achieved, or even something that would be worth trying to achieve. The Lykoi male sighed; however did he get himself into this mess?

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 01-02-2012, 01:35 AM

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The small woman blew hot and cold so quickly it would have been a wonder if her dark hued Lykoi kin could even keep up. Her grey lavender eyes had turned away from the entrance to the den as she sat with her tiny paws crossed and her little frame turned to where only the rigid form of her spine could be graced upon. Her generally friendly nature was replaced with that of a sulking brooding woman who felt that she had been betrayed. She didn't even know what to do for as hot and cold as she ran the male she loved flitted from such serious tones to laughter and jests in the same speed. Her ebony banned ears pinned back against her skull as she ignored the outcries of the male down below, the whole of her home vibrating as he crashed his thick skull into the branch outside. Deep down inside there was a small fraction of satisfaction found in his pain, though she would never admit it she hoped he would remember that all things came round in the end.

She knew she shouldn't listen to him but his begging and pleading was so unbecoming of a man of his rank and stature and.. it was just plain pathetic. She let her little nose turn up in the air as she growled softly. "You think I could handle my duties and tend to pups.." she said. Her thoughts filtering around the options as she turned slightly to glance at the head that was pushed through the entrance to her den. "My very place in this clan is centered around not being here, what kind of life would that be for any child I might bring into the world.." She hated to think of finding someone that loved her deep enough, someone she thought was worth the risk to take that deadly next step.. and then never get the chance to watch their children grow... or fall from grace in the clan because of her need to tend to one duty over the other. Nothing seemed logical anymore and even though she knew she should be searching for real answers something inside her whispered what she was afraid to say.

Her rigid form soon melted away though as the male coaxed and pleaded outside her den for her to melt away her icy exterior and return to him. She felt a shudder break across her frame as she knew that in more than one way she wished that she could. Her grey lavender eyes gazed down at her tiny hands, the small frame of her body and the soft simple curves of a woman in miniature. She felt her whole body sink into submission as she gave up. She could hear the whine of the dark hued male she knew wished to be so much more than just a friend, her own body and soul sang out to him in the same way but an icy grip on reality kept her from letting the male know just what lingered on her mind. She didn't know how long she could play this game, how long before nature would force them to fade away or bring them together to burn eternally. She hated the fear that pulled at her soul as she let her gaze fall upon his form.

Her eyes were like windows into a tortured soul as she sniffed slightly, "I know Helotes.." She said softly. She had known for a while that he loved her, and she had admitted her emotions to her cousin as well but as much as a dreamer as she was the woman clung fierce to reality. She had a need to survive, to prove that she was something more than a misfit in nature.. to fall in love, to take that next step could hinder her very being.. Death was the one thing she feared more than anything, for death was waiting for the tiny woman around every corner. Where a tiny scrap or cut to another, it could mean the end for her tiny form. A small leap across fast, deep waters that any regular canine could easily make was a gamble for her. She was selfish, but reality weighed heavy above her..

...and as much as she hated to give in at all she found herself crawling across the distance and sliding out of the den into the hollow of his lap. Her voice was so soft and filled with fear as she spoke, "What are we anymore.." her small face buried into his chest as she listened to one of the few sounds that could sooth her damaged soul. The beating of a heart she knew she belonged to.

Helotes Lykoi · 01-02-2012, 02:00 AM

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WC :: +440

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Ah to have pups, how much he yearned for it now. The idea of having little ones running around his paws and knowing they were his and his alone, such a joy he could not fathom. His mother had told him about the bond between mother and child was the strongest, and no greater joy could be attained. But now he wondered, as he lusted after the chance to reproduce, if the bond between father and child would be as strong. He had never had such a bond with his own father, and he decided that were he ever to have his own children that this would not be the case.

His thoughts were interrupted by Zana’s small voice, filled with sorrow, which tore his heart anew. She spoke of her duties, how it would not be practical to have children with her position in the clan. His ears fell flat against his head at this, for she was correct; the job of the Caelum was to constantly scout, to have full knowledge of the borders; this would be nearly impossible with new born pups. But there were ways around this, Helotes knew. The father could look after them, or a lower ranking female could surrogate; there were ways. But Helotes remained silent on this, for he didn’t want to push his friend further into the despair she was feeling by making suggestions that might just hurt her.

There was a pause then, and she responded to his words of love with affirmation and his ears raised again. Then her tiny feminine form slipped from the hollow and into his lap, her delicate fingers curled into the thick fur of his chest and he was enthralled by her scent again. He wrapped his forearms around her frame, which was all that was needed to envelope her. She was like a child the way he held her, but her curves and scent said clearly that it otherwise. She asked quietly what they had become and Helotes’ ear laid down again. What had they become? They were like two twisted lovers, forever wanting each other but afraid to even touch. A low, long whine escaped from the depths of Helotes throat. He loved her more than he could even fathom, but he kept himself from her, for her sake… and maybe selfishly for his own.

The male then rubbed his neck against hers, his snout falling on her shoulders; it was pure affection, and it was innocent, for now. Somos amantes para siempre mantuvo el uno del otro... He whispered huskily, too frightened to say it in a tongue she would understand.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 01-02-2012, 02:50 AM

709

There was not much in this world the small woman wished for, there was not much that she sought to take and claim for her own, but it seemed sometimes that the world had other plans. The tiny Lykoi bitch would have hung the moon and stars in a field of fireflies for the male that wrapped her so tightly in loves embrace but she could never find the words to tell him just what he mean to her. The fire in her soul burned only for the dark beast that protected the clan and while she was drawn from him so often her soul ached to return to the lands that were home, if only to linger in his presence, for she was too selfish to let herself have what they both desired.

Sorrow and pain had been something that had lived in the woman's soul for a long time. The touch of a male had never been something she thought could sooth the long scarred soul but in the strangest of places she had found just that. She didn't believe her heart was fickle, that this would fade in time but she was afraid that perhaps that was her weakness talking. She knew nothing of the love of story books, of star struck lovers and the twisted legends that were woven by such strong powers. That had been her brother's story, not hers. She had played a pawn in the game of life, she had always been a pawn until now.. the tables had been turned and she was hopelessly lost in a web she had not created but had fallen prey to. Such was the predator called love.

The woman had never really known a mother, and a father to her had been a brother who had stepped in when no one else knew what to do. This mixed up world they lived in now was strange to her. What was normal for one was foreign and different in her eyes. She had heard stories of the deep seated love that was built between a mother and child and yet she had never received such love. The only thing she could remember of a mother had been the mistakes she had made and how it had nearly cost Zana her own life. Right from the start she had been doomed to fight, and yet there was one thing she had'nt once fought for, in the heart of all hearts honestly the only thing worth fighting for. Love.

She had yet to have to fight for love for it had always been given freely to the small woman. Now though when love came calling once again in a new and rare form she shivered like a small child and balked at the idea of sharing her heart, her soul, herself. There were things about herself she didn't even know, secrets she had never discovered or even believed accessible.. but now, nestled in the comforting arms of the one man she wished she could give herself to her mind began to churn, to wonder just how long it would be before she would give in or he would give up. A lone tear cascaded from the corner of her sad eyes and dampened his fur as this new fear settled in. Would she lose him wholly if she didn't give in now. She shivered at the idea, not daring to believe that he was shallow enough to forsake the cruel gift they had been given for something so unreachable.

The fears that she gave into were vanished for a moment as his whole body enveloped her small form. The warm breath of the one male she wished to belong to solely lingered on her neck as his foreign tongue fell softly upon her ebony banded ears. She knew not what he spoke of but the comfort was the same. Grey lavender eyes closed for a moment as her own voice followed his. "ar do shon .. Beidh mé" For you, I will. she doubted he would ever know what words she spoke, and she knew in time she would find the courage to walk into his embrace with a heart ready to belong to the Spanish soul who had stolen her fire.

Helotes Lykoi · 01-02-2012, 04:18 PM

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WC :: +386

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Having Zana in his arms was bitter sweet. It loved the feel of her fur, the smell of her, her taste; but he just wished there was more there. It was selfish of him to wish she were regular size, he knew, but he could not help himself. He wanted her as a woman, not a doll! His mind desperately was fighting one way or another; accept her for who she was in this form and take her, or abandon any hope of having her, for it was impossible. It was a turmoil that rolled in his mind like a storm, a storm that grew and grew until the downpour of despair and the thunder of desire took hold of him. He wanted her, more than he had ever wanted any other woman, and yet he could not have her!

She whispered sweet sounding words to him that he could not understand, but he didn’t need to. He felt in his heart that Zana was roiling in the same storm as he, completely torn between reality and fantasy. It was bringing them both pain but like a moth to a flame that could kill them they continued to attract each other. It was all too much, too much to bear! Helotes was a strong man, but he was not strong enough for this.

Helotes released his forbidden lover from his arms, setting her down on the branch which he then jumped from. He looked up at her with umber eyes, wet with unshed tears. He could not stand to be around her any longer, for he loved her and was forbidden from even touching her in the ways he so much yearned for. A sorrowful cry burst forth from his throat, I’m sorry! I can’t… and he turned, and he began to run. He ran until he felt is lungs would burst, the tears finally cascading from his glowing coal orbs as he neared the mansion. As soon as the building enveloped him within its rotted wooden walls he stole away to his bedroom, and collapsed into his cot. Lying there, he tried desperately to fight off thoughts of Zana, of her blond curls, of her ginger fur, of her imploring lavender eyes. The male then fell into a depressed sleep, full of nightmares and dread.

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