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Dated to the 7th...Shiloh, at their apartment...Suckish start, it will get better I promise. Mature for his drunkeness and possible harsh language...
Pain. Guilt. Sorrow. He felt them all, his lack of ability to save his pups and try to rescue his mate from the depths of the river. Aleo sat himself down on an old couch, a large bottle of whiskey in hand. The dark coywolf felt like an idiot, drinking the pain away. Of course the male didn't want his daughter and Shiloh to see him in this entrapment of the alcohol. He was drunk, been for a while. His behavior was not that of a aggressive canine, but left him quiet and sorrowful. this whole situation brought back ferocious memories of the past, not being able to save his own family, his sister died and do did his parents under the hands of thugs.
Sitting back in the chair, his mind wandered to Shiloh. Where was she? This loss must've been hard on her too, he would hate to see her cry. Taking his head in his hands and dropping the bottle on the floor, sloppy crocodile tears fell slowly from his lilac eyes. "God damn I'm sorry..." The couch was comfortable and he sank back in it, unable to sleep from the heavy guilt he felt. A low self directed growl rumbled from his broad chest, he hated himself. He missed his mate and wanted to hug Sarian close. The tears stopped falling and the dark coywolf sat quiet, waiting for something. Anything to make the pain leave his soul.. [/html]
Shiloh had buried her pups together. She had named them, Zack and Taylor, and put the proper things with them to give them passage into the next life. She didn't stay long, her wound was still bleeding really badly and she was growing cold again. She said a small prayer over the graves and marked them with carvings before leaving. She walked home blindly, her tears and grief hurting her mind and heart. She trudged back to her apartment and was half way up the stairs when she smelled him. Aleo.... the man that claimed to have love her and wasn't there to save her, wasn't there to save their pups.
She felt something other then pain the moment she made it to the door. Anger... anger towards him and the alcohol he was drinking. Anger for the near fact he failed her. She opened the door and would have went for his throat if she wasn't already on probation. She growled low in her throat and took the bottle from him and smashed it against the wall. "You have some nerve showing up here after what has happened. I have lost everything and you sit here drinking and crying over your loss. You are pitiful. And here I actually thought you loved me," she said angerly. She wanted to lash put and let Aleo feel what she felt physically and emotionally.
Instead she turned her back on him and started unwrapping her soiled bandages. She kept her whimper of pain to herself as the bandages fell away and her wounded side exposed. It ran from her hip bone to just under her last rib and it was deep. She had made salve to fight off infection and stop bleeding. She put it deep in her wound almost passing out from the pain. She fell to the floor and cried. Cried because she had nothing better to do.
[html] [OOC] Sorry he's turned into "Pervert Aleo" definite PP tell me if you want it changed. *cries at her own poop post*Shiloh's arrival wasn't a happy or even remotely friendly, the bottle was broken against the wall, sending crimson liquid drops flying. A low unappreciative rumble in his throat followed. She spat at him, words Aleo particularity didn't like. He wasn't supposed to be here? He stood up, his stature dominant and towering over her. His voice was low and threatening, hopefully the more primal and dominant side of him wouldn't unleash itself. "I, not supposed to be here? You're lucky I didn't go running off! I love you enough to stick around." Aleo didn't rush to her side and try to comfort her as the hushed pained sounds came from her grey and white maw. Judging from her attitude towards the dusky behemoth, it was a stupid idea. In his drunken state the d'Lanri man was surprisingly agile. She was crying, and most likely hated him. He hadn't been there to save them. "You know I couldn't have been there, I was half way across Ichika, I didn't even know, and now you blame me for what happened? And don't you once think that you're the only one hurting. We both lost a lot from this. I fucking love you Shiloh. Why would I ask you to be my mate? Why would I take you to bed with me? Just because I like...to fuck women? No its only ever been you! Why would I want to be the father of the children? Just because I want to? I would've been there." This time his scarred black arm reached for his mate's face, wanting to feel her soft fur in his palm. "Why do you think I'm sitting here with some booze? To celebrate? You know it's not that Shiloh." His voice didn't soften, it held a harsh sharpness just oozing with dominance. He stepped away, just a little bit to recollect the thoughts swirling in his non-sober mind. Other than the harsh attitude he was displaying, an extreme wash of embarrassment fell over the dark man like a dark veil to find that he was turned on by this situation. A small traitorous stirring in his jeans made him stiffen some more, it was unacceptable for this to even happen. Shiloh had a sure inner fire, it wasn't easy to ignore. He knew he was an idiot, but it wasn't something the man could easily control considering his body acted on its own accord. Aleo turned in a way so his mate couldn't see the new update on his feelings. Praying that Shiloh didn't notice, in his mind, Aleo cursed himself for being a sick bastard, to actually think those lecherous thoughts at a time like this. It was instantly blamed on the animalistic side of him, the instinctual pull and primal dominance. His children were dead for fuck sakes! With a gruff "Where's Sarian?" Shiloh didn't have to answer him, he didn't care either way. He just wanted to know if he failed to save the child that adored him so.
The man's mind was a whirlwind of emotions, feelings and thoughts. He said nothing, but his purple eyes burned both anger and in uncontrollable drunken lust. It was fortunate that the dark Kenpo didn't meet her eyes for that moment. She'd think him perverted and a tramp for thinking of more primal and sexual thoughts when he should be mourning for the death of his pups. But he was, the grief he felt had him not lashing out at the woman he did too love so dearly. He turned away from her direction, and softly murmured "I don't want to leave, but if you've found you're finished with me I will go." Aleo did love her, he was so easily captivated by this woman, she was fiery and had spirit. In all ways a real woman. Shiloh had wrapped him around her finger, if she left him that would be the end of it. He turned and simply slowly walked to the bedroom, stretching out on the bed that he, Shiloh and sometimes Sarian shared. He huffed a sigh and lay right back. If told to stay out of her life, he would probably obediently do so. But of course he would leave Ichika, find somewhere to stay for the night and further so. He and Shiloh didn't even get a wedding from Ichika and it had the man wondering as to why, it probably had nothing to do with her rank so the d'Lanri didn't ponder on that idea.
The ebony titan glanced outside the window, watching the walls sway from his alcohol-blurred vision. Shiloh didn't deserve an asshole like him, no one really did. Running an exasperated hand through his black hair, the masculine coywolf wanted to call to Shiloh. Tell her it was alright and hold her close to him, neverless his dark lips couldn't form the desired words that he wanted to say. Finally after a few moments of unrest, he called to his mate. "Shiloh, Lay with me, let's talk this over!" If Shiloh noticed his recent show of wanton, of course she wasn't going to lay with him. The male would never force her into anything that she wouldn't want to do "I just want to talk." The mascu's words were simple, even in his drunken state he wanted to make things better, bring out some good from the screw-ups he always made. Aleo never saw the faces of his children but he could imagine the turmoil when they passed. He should be grateful that he didn't lose the one woman that had stolen his fire, and he was. But Shiloh didn't seem to be loving him at the moment and it hurt, like a knife in the chest. She entered the room, quietly but before she could come to the large bed, he smelled wounds and weepy flesh. He leaped from the bed the second he saw the large gash in her waist. He staggered slightly over to Shiloh and hesitantly nosed at the large wound. "Fuck. I'm not going to lose you this time." He placed a sloppy hand on the opposite side of her waist and studied the weepy flesh. "You're bleeding again." Grabbing an old shirt of his, he ripped it and pressed it against the injury. Standing back to his full height once again, Aleo's voice came an octave softer. Showing signs of his usual caring self. "I love you Shiloh. I hate myself for not being there. I would've jumped right in there for you, killed myself to save you. If you had died I would probably have too. I'm such a dick. Forgive me. Your life lost would have ruined mine. I wouldn't be able to live with myself." After the long speech, Aleo tilted his head ever so slightly to kiss her, not a sloppy lick but a real kiss where he managed to worm his tongue into her mouth and mold her wolfish lips with his own. He held her there for a few moments, cradling her gently as if her body was the most delicate and valuable snowflake. She was allowed to pull away, he held her in almost no grip. The boy intended to show his love for her, hand still pressing the homemade bandage against her waist, the other gently cupping the side of the side of her face. He didn't care about her scars, they showed her strength and ability to thrive and survive. In his eyes they were a symbol of true beauty. Shiloh was his queen and even she wasn't going to change that. Pulling away from the soft kiss, his words were clearly stated. "Don't leave me." [/html]
The first question that came to mind when he started spewing his shit was, why were you on'the other side of ichika? Why weren't you here with your family? Why didn't you save me? she thought as she watched his dark hand come up a touch her muzzle. She cringed and backed away. Every time she looked at him she saw Tayler. She saw her first born, their beautiful daughter. She closed her eyes as she fought back tears and heard him back away.
The raw ache in her chest made she start to see stars and she was blinded by physical and emotional pain. She had failed her pups. She almost failed Sarian. When she heard Aleo as about her she wondered if X'yrin was holding up well. "I saved Sarian. She is safe with X'yrin. Aleo..... I think its best that X'yrin keeps her as her daughter. I am not fit to be her mother. I was careless. I almost lost her. I need her to stay in a strong environment, one where she is safe and will grow to be strong. I can't give her that. X'yrin and her mate can. And she will have sisters and brothers. X'yrin is pregnant," she whispered softly as her heart skipped beats and her blood started to mat her fur.
She needed to clean and wrap her side and she knew Aleo would be of no use to her. He was too drunk to see her pain, to understand her hurt over her loss and the grief that followed. He didn't see Tayler and Zack. He didn't see the ebony daughter that would look like him or the sand grey deformed son that had her fur. She almost didn't catch his words as he turned from her.
"Aleo.... you just don't get it! When i needed you most.... when Sarian asked where her daddy was and Kiara had to comfort me when you weren't here to hold me.... why did you leave? What was so important I had to lose our daughter and son to the river that almost claimed my life?" She left him to the questions while she prepared some skullcap to numb her body and some sleeping tea so she wouldn't dream or feel pain.
She liatened to him stagger to their bed room and lay down. It was a few moments before she heard him call of her. He wanted to talk about this? In his drunken state of mind? No. She wouldn't express herself fully till he was sober enough to listen to her fully. Shiloh was tired. She was battered and brusied from her trip down river and she had yet to fully stop the bleeding on her side. She had been having nightmares of drowning or of Sarian drowning and she felt Aleo would never understand. She walked into the room to find him on the bed and he was sporting a rather large erection. She would not lay with him but went over to the side mirror to start cleaning the gash on her side.
He was at her side in moments, his nose prodding the puckered, bleeding flesh before he grabbed a shirt and rippled it and placed it over the wound. He was pressing too hard and a whimper of pain escaped her maw. She went to pull away but his maw found her own and his tounge sought and found her own. She could taste the wine on his tounge but she had gone so long without his touch that she almost cried when his grip loosened and she melted into his arms, too weak to suppost herself. Don't leave him... how could she?
"My Aleo..." she was able to breathe as her vision grew cloudy and a fever broke out under her fur. She was sick already. Now she had a fever. Would Aleo take care of her?
[html] The kiss was something to be remembered (hopefully through the clutter of intoxication) and she broke away from it soon enough. Her skin felt too hot to be of that of normalcy and for a second the drunken coywolf was stricken with panic. Making an on the spot decision, the man gently as he possibly could scooped up Shiloh, his large calloused hands careful to not graze or nick at her wounds. Feeling still ashamed for his recent libido, the man lay her in the large bed and didn't cover her with the blankets as she was absolutely burning up. "Stay here." Leaving the room in less than perfect grace, Aleo went to the kitchen unit and grabbed the kettle. He had neglected to heat it earlier and that was fortunate. A couple of soaked tea-towels lay limply on the counter; he grabbed those too. Racing back to his mate, with shaky hands the dusky male poured the cold liquid and dabbed it on her face; futile attempts to cool her off. The bedside window was pulled not so gently open to let the chilly air in. With silence, Aleo sat beside Shiloh. Not really touching her or doing much. He remembered Shiloh saying that Sarian was living with Xy'rin, he couldn't help but feel pain. "I'll Explain. It was not your fault. How could you know that this was going to happen? And you're a great mother. It's not the things you do, you don't do, it's how you show your love for something. People adore you for that." Despite the dark man's drunkenness, it had made him a wise philosopher and good with words. Dabbing more water on Shiloh's forehead, he rested his lean muzzle beside hers letting loose a saddened whine. "I'm sorry about everything...That I wasn't there to hold you and assure you it was to be alright. I'll sober up, and we can do more talking later." A small sorrowful sigh hit the air, the man wondered about his dead children, that they were safe somewhere in the afterlife. "What were their names?" His voice was as soft as a whisper but as pained as a sob.
The male hoped and prayed to a god that was probably not there. That he could save the life of his love and still live happy. He remembered the erection he had suffered earlier and looked down shyly. "You must be disgusted with me. I couldn't...Stop that from happening." He was only male though. Small tears fell from the corners of his purple eyes. They had both suffered so much, he had lost his children. Had a son that could have looked up to him with respect. Have another daughter to hold and tell stories to. "I'm so sorry...I'm an idiot and I've screwed up your life...I don't want to mess it up for you more...I-I failed you and the children. I don't want to hurt you." He was kneeling beside the bed now, gently bringing her hand to his maw and giving it a gentle lick. "I disgust myself. Why would I feel...That way when we just lost so much?" He pressed his head into the sheets, wanting to die of his embarrassment. "Forgive me...I don't want to become your enemy so soon..." He sighed and went back to work, his small minded attempts to revive Shiloh's health. "If you need anything, I'll get it."[/html]
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