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She had hoped maybe, perhaps that the large male she had met would still be around with his nice flute and soothing music. She found she could use something like that at this time but it was not to be as she arrived in the place they had first met. His scent was gone and there was a chilly dampness to the air. The woman shivered and looked about sadly, it seemed that she was going to have to go without her music today. She didn't dare approach the borders of the pack that was nearby to ask for him, oh no that wouldn't do at all, it might bring trouble to AniWaya.
So she dawdled a bit longer hoping that he would magically appear from the brush with his funny little ferret but eventually it was made clear to her that he was not coming. Not now and maybe not ever. She sighed, dejected with the turn of events and shook herself to remove some of the snow that had landed on her from the trees. A flash of red caught her attention and she took a few steps forwards, hopefulness growing in her eyes only for it to turn to dejection, the flash of red was just an early rising bird. Coyote ears pulled back against her head and the woman whined quietly, sorrowfully.
The bird hopped along the branch watching her warily for sudden movements, a soft trill came from its beak as it tilted its head this way and that. Forgetting her decision to leave the white female watched the bird as it continued to hop along the tree's arm and occasionally peck at the bark. Breathing in through her nose Gemma whispered to the bird more than herself,
"You're all alone too just like I am."
Yesterday, the leader had asked that they watch for Liam and Ayasha, and had announced that the pack was open for others to visit, to open up trade possibilities. He hoped it would work for the pack, and not against them. Any more incidents like Liam's, and the male would be heart broken. he carried his son Myrddin in a pack, he enjoyed talking to the boy, telling him stories. Sky was always after him to leave the little one home, especially since he was so young -not even a month yet- but Tal didn't have the heart to say no to the little guy.
He walked the border now, his son in a specialized pack to keep him close to his body. A scent, one that was almost familiar, tickled his nose, and he followed it. The female that stood there caused the male to stop for a moment. The scent of Aniwaya clung to her, and for a moment, he was certain it was Ayasha. His heart stopped, then restarted. She was different from Ayasha, and he was certain he knew the scent. He stepped forward slowly, then the realization his him. "Gemma?" His one time lover before he met Sky.
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The red colored bird fascinated her for reasons unknown and its early activities kept her eyes trained upon it. Her body likewise stayed utterly still and the only parts of her that moved was her fur in the wind and her blue orbs as they followed the red avian's movements. Suddenly her unlikely companion fluttered off into the world and disappeared with a loud call of alarm. Despair flitted through her, as delicate as a bird's wings and she felt her ears drop further. She wondered what she had done wrong to scare the bird away from her, it didn't occur to her that it was something else and not herself that had caused to flee, at least not until a voice cut through her sadness and she whirled around.
Her recognition was instantaneous within her face and she smiled beautifully at the likewise ivory male. Her body remembered well his physical touch and her soul the way she had felt when she was with him, like a piece of herself had been found. Her blue pools widened as they took in the small child strapped to him with a strange contraption, and a hopeful part of her died slightly, she could never take this man to mate if Matteo and herself didn't work out,
"Talesin.. I didn't expect to see you here." Her voice still held the same deep purr it had at their last meeting but it was devoid of anything that spoke arousal, there was a child present and she could hold control over herself that much. Within her mind a male friend was almost simultaneous as lover, usually men took her no strings attached ideal and used her for it but she let herself be used to that made things okay. Her eyes again took her gaze to the child he carried,
color=blue]"Your young.. is beautiful."[/color] Her voice switched to an almost reverence for the young boy.
He smiled warmly at the woman, remembering well their evening of lovemaking. He watched as she took in the sight of his boy strapped to his chest. The little one was sleeping now, lulled to sleep by the movement of his father. A hand lifted unconsciously, as though to reassure himself the little one was still there. "Thank you. He's the oldest of three. His siblings are with their mother." He hesitated, then spoke as if his mate were the other woman in their non-existent relationship. "We met after you and I did..."
He was less assured than when they had been in the bedroom together. Seemed he had a natural lean towards the submissive side when it came to his personality. He was a good authority figure, though, as a protettore of the pack. He glanced at his son, then back to Gemma, the artist inside of him quietly admiring her curves, the tilt of her blue eyes, the way she held herself. There was something fragile and strong about her, and he wished he were more inclined towards painting and the like. He would capture the way the light fell on her shoulders, the glint in her eyes that hinted at her sexual nature under the demure smile.
"He has a lot of his mother in him, though I imagine his eyes will be the dominant Rhiannon eyes. Like mine. Mother's were the same way. His mothers eyes are blue, like yours. Like.." He cut himself off before finishing his sentence. 'Like Lucifer's'.
I teared up writing this XD
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Her expression was almost greedy as it took in the child, Talesin obviously loved his son and other children he mentioned very much and her throat constricted as she compared it to the way her own father had treated her. Why couldn't Lucifer had been like Talesin, caring and warm instead of the savage he was, or had been even. Her head dipped in a slight bob to cover up her sudden lack of the ability to speak, Daddy why did you hate me, she grit her teeth together to hold in her urge to start bawling as she often did when she thought of her blackened sire. The word Rhiannon floated over her head and she never even noticed it, if she had done then she would have taken immediate interest in it, the name she shared.
She managed to force herself to say, through her throat that was thick as mud, inconsolable sorrow and grief falling onto her face,
"My own didn't make it.. again." She pulled her arms around her stomach and her breathing hitched once, twice as she attempted to control herself,
"You look to be a good father Talesin, I wish my own had been the same. My daddy, he did horrible cruel things to me, he made me suffer in ways some people couldn't even imagine." Lucifer had too, he had put his daughter through a living hell and even now that she was free from him she couldn't escape his grasp, his blood burned within her veins, his nasty twisted thoughts filled her mind, and made her do things she wouldn't on her own, made her feel things she shouldn't. She looked away and then back at Talesin, within her blue eyes were a pain so deep it was endless, a tortured look that only the most abused of creatures held,
"He hurt me." Her voice was hollow and haunted, she would never be free of his devil's grasp, he had maimed and mauled her beyond all hope of repair, she was ruined completely.
((Slight PP, let me know if you want it changed my dear.))
The pale scholar watched the blue eyed woman speak. Her grief was palpable. For a heart broken moment, Tal wondered if the ones she spoke of had been his. Regardless, he pulled her to him, mindful of the little guy in the papoose. His arms wrapped around her, giving her a gentle and comforting hug. "I'm sorry...I know the grief of losing children." He kissed her forehead lightly. As she began speaking of her father, he flinched. The look min her eyes, it reminded him of someone, of something.
He had seen a similar look in a mirror in his eyes, not long after Lucifer had raped him and marked him. A hand lifted to the earrings, and he fingered them unconsciously. A knot rose in his throat as his eyes drifted down. His voice was bitter as he spoke. "To be a good father, I had to be better than my own sire, Lucifer. He did a lot of terrible things... including nearly killing my brother, Noah." A rush of hurt and betrayal then, and the words he suppressed so often came tumbling out. "And he raped me. He told me he would kill my son if I didn't let him. He raped me and he marked me as his property."
The shame, the guilt, threatened to overwhelm him and he stepped back from Gemma, enough that the suddenly thick miasma of the stain on his life wouldn't taint her. Little did he know they shared that taint in more ways than one.
3+
She couldn't help but make to flinch away from him as he sought to envelope her within his arms, it was an instinctive fear and one she fought hard to control, to keep herself from struggling to break free entirely. How strange that this should be the way she reacted when she had laid with him in the past, had welcomed him into her body and reveled with the joys of intimacy with him and had not suffered a single ounce of pain or fear. Why now? His kiss on the head affected her even more and she fidgeted in his grasp until he let her go, not that she wanted to be separated from him... this was so confusing!
She shivered, torn by her emotions and feelings and thoughts, what her body was telling her vs what her mind knew and accepted. Her blue eyes flicked to the floor as he spoke some more and as he did her body froze. This time she caught the words he was saying, something akin to alarm spread through her but not quite alarm, the hairs on her neck and spine stood on end, puffing up her fur. How many men would there be around here named Lucifer who had a son called Noah who liked to rape and hurt people. She looked up as he stepped away from her and she saw the disgust and self loathing in his eyes, but also the bravery, and determination filled her, she had to know, she just had to, could he be her brother?
She took a few deeps breaths, and he stayed quiet maybe waiting for her to express her disgust of him? There was no chance of that, what Lucifer had done to him was horrible but he had done a lot worse to Gemma. Presented with this possibility of family, new family that didn't hate her, she was suddenly brave, suddenly bold in the face of Lucifer's cruelty and vile savage nature.
[color=blue]"My father was called Lucifer. Lucifer Sawtooth. And... and I'm G...gemma, Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth.
He waited for the disgust to come, or worse yet the pity. Neither came. What did come from the pale beauty was worse. The pale scholar with the two toned eyes stepped back again, as if he had been physically struck. Gemma. Rhiannon. Sawtooth. The breath left his lungs, and he found himself sitting heavily, just staring at her. His gaze wasn't accusatory or incriminating, just.... stunned. Her words floated through his head, and he found himself studying each word both separately as individual words, and together as a whole phrase. Gemma. Rhiannon. Sawtooth.
He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry, too. Instead, he closed his eyes, trying to dispel this. The idea that he had slept with his half sister was the furthest thing from his mind. Gemma. Rhiannon. Sawtooth. And then he laughed. It wasn't a cold or mocking laughter, but one that sought to accept the news laid on him. "He gave you my mother's family name, and his. A blessing and a curse all at once." He opened his eyes, looking at her again. Her eyes were the same as Lucifer's, but there was a warmth that he had found lacking in the black bastard's.
He wondered why Lucifer would have given her the Rhiannon name, and then he knew. Her heritage... the give Gemma the Rhiannon name was a slap in the face to the former purist, Deuce. His mother had been very much against coyotes and wolves interbreeding. It was a wonder she hadn't flipped out when she'd seen his mate, who was a hybrid too.
His eyes sought out hers, wondering how she felt about this news. "So...you are my sister, then." It wasn't a condemning or angry tone, but a calmer tone, one that accepted her and welcomed her into the family. The realization that he had intimate relations with his sister would come later.
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As quickly as her hopes had risen high they fell fast and hard, the impact of it leaving her shaking and weak as he took a step away from her. Her mind instantly coming to a bad assumption, he was rejecting her like all the others had, maybe now he would hurt her too just like they had done, all of them, every single one. In that one moment where surprise overwhelmed Talesin forcing him to move to keep himself upright, an attempt that ultimately failed and left him on his rump, Gemma's entire world imploded and collapsed into a million shattered shards, sharp like glass and broken rock. The woman's ears dropped, her shoulders slumped and her tail curled upwards between her legs, all in all the complete picture of devastation, from one moment of surprise.
She couldn't help the shivers anymore than she could help the distressed whine, a tortured sound, from leaving her throat. His laughter may have not been cruel or malevolent but it did have a profound effect upon Gemma, who hunkered down even more, misery apparent in every movement and twitch. She had no response for his words, names were names, they didn't really mean much to her. It was entirely too visible just how much she had suffered, all the pain she had felt, the rejection lavished upon her, how much Lucifer had destroyed her mentally and emotionally. Her strength evaporated and she quickly found herself on her knees staring at the green green grass, she missed her brother's eyes, and totally missed the warmth in his voice, her vision was a kaleidoscope of feeling, emotion, crushed hopes, her voice whisper frail and heart broken
color=blue]"If you want I'll go far away and you won't have to deal with me then, I swear, I won't shame you."[/color]
In his wonder at discovering more family, he nearly missed the soft words. Even if he had missed the words, her body language screamed what she could barely whisper. "Go away? Not at all, Gemma. You are my sister, my family. This is your nephew. I am thrilled to have another sister, since I never knew Dierdre, my older sister, nor do I know Sora, my little sister. Stay with me for a bit, come meet my mate Sky. Have you met Noah, my brother? Or my mother Deuce?"
His tail began wagging, even as something in the back of his mind whispered to him. Dude. You slept with your sister. He brushed the thought away. He could feel guilty about it later, right now he laid the blame for their lack of knowledge at Lucifer's feet as well. She was kneeling now, he noticed with some distant surprise. He reached out to take her hands if she let him. "I have a sister..." His voice held a note of joy, of pride, of an instant familial bond to the once lover.
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Her breathing hitched quietly as she stared at the floor, so sure of her rejection that there was no doubt within her mind that she would be sent away now. At least Talesin seemed of a nice sort, hopefully he wouldn't hurt her too badly. Not once did it occur to Gemma that in the event of Talesin's violence that she could simply run away. Her mind just didn't work that way, after a lifetime of being owned by first her father and then by various other men after that, with the latest being Matteo and Giuseppe, ownership of herself had immediately been passed on to Talesin from the moment she learned he was family. It hadn't been the same meeting Noah for she already had an owner then but now she was alone and unwanted, it seemed even more so her. She sniffled again waiting for the verdict.
Daring was not an emotion or feeling she possessed much of, despite her forwards attitude towards men, being with men was different to being openly brave for herself and one thing Gemma was not was brave. Not to herself at least. Other's may have looked down upon her with pity or awe, she had survived what had been thrown at her, maybe not completely or undamaged but still, she was alive and breathing. Surprise moved her eyes upwards to meet his, something she would not have normally attempted. She was struck stupid by what he was saying, could it really be true? The one dream that had existed in her life, to find family that wanted her. Had she found it at last.
"Y..yes, I met Noah. He didn't seem to like me much." More examples of rejection, the frown that played around her mouth spoke of this, along with her small shivers, she let him take her hands "I'm not the only one. Y..you have other sisters too. T..three more. B..but they h..hate me. L..lucifer ignored them to focus his e..energy on me." The tortured haunted echo was back in her voice, speaking of old, deep pain and months of suffering.
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