Don't you remember

Alder · 03-07-2012, 09:27 AM

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He stood beside the horse, lead in his hand. The dark stallion did not need the guidance of the tether, yet Alder had learned with the ways of a halter and lead, of saddle and tack. The large beast looked handsome in the carefully repaired leather; the elk skin blanket that lined his back and the braids that Alder had placed in his mane. It was not the way of all riders, but Alder’s choice. He tightened the lines that held his dead prizes upon the croup of the stallions back. They had spent the night camped beside the embers that would be nothing more then ash in a few moment's time, and morning lingered in the lightening sky.

Blue eyes looked out into the distance, the mountain stood at his right as he traveled steadily north and the world in which he was familiar sat behind him. It was the most north Alder had ever traveled and thus far in his life he was on his greatest adventure. The thought, when he allowed himself to think about the dangers of the road, made his stomach twist slightly. His gut told him to return to the Court, to take the things that he had gathered and go home. But he was fighting his fears, and Hawthorn encouraged him. Some how the horse knew that there was something yet for them to find.

Black fingers ran through the cut mane of the male, chest breathing in the cool late winter air. The pair had caught hares in the pass below the mountain, Alder had eaten well, had not run into any creature that wished to do him farm nor stumbled upon a pack land. His experience in Inferni had taught him to be extra diligent, and he kept his distance from any scent of pack territory. In the cerulean eyes he shared with his brother and mother, Alder was successful.

Marching on, the Courtier mounted the stallion and sat straight on the saddle he had mended. With a short word in the horse’s dialect Alder asked for him to walk on.

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Colibri Haki · 03-07-2012, 05:51 PM

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WC:274 // Figured she could run past him! <33

Colibri yawned as she awoke, feeling no better rested than she had the day prior. She spent most of the night scouting the area, carefully investigating for any scent trails or pawprints that would betray the presence of other wolves. It was the only way she could find sleep, knowing for certain that she would not be ambushed. When she had satisfied her paranoid instincts, she slept at the foot of a pine tree, shielded by its low-hanging boughs and the odor of its needles. It was disorienting to awaken there, but the shelter was safe. Perhaps she would return there tonight.

The sky was lightening, streaks of warm sunrise colors fading into blue. Coli rubbed her sore wrists, relieved at least to see that the abrasions were beginning to close and heal. It had done them well to soak in the chill riverwater yesterday. Cleansing them frequently would stave off infection, as she had been taught by Deuce Rhiannon so many seasons ago. Perhaps, now that she was feeling a little better, she should go searching for herbs to create a poultice. Comfrey root, or mustard seed, if she could find either this time of year.

The lean werewolf emerged cautiously from her tree shelter, deeply inhaling the crisp mountain air. It was so peaceful and silent out here in the wilderness, far from the packs and societies. Winter was gradually releasing its hold on the world, snow receding to only the tops of the mountain. It wouldn't be impossible to locate some herbs, she decided, and set off at a brisk trot. Hopefully there wouldn't be anyone else sniffing around this early.

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 03-08-2012, 09:10 AM

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The Captain road steadily, ears and nose alert for the sounds of prey and his eyes clear on the trail. Hawthorn was far from delicate, he was a sturdy beast that could take the rough course that Alder set for them. But the wolf did not wish to harm him by directing him towards a ditch. As he may have in the past…

A soft sound caught the notice of his keen ears; the tan auditories swiveled towards where it came from. His nose automatically searching for the common scent of hare. But there was something different that came to his black nostrils. Instead his mind woke to the possibility that they were not the only predatory beasts roaming the area in the search of wood.

Alder looked up from the trail, just nearly in time to catch the sight of the brown figure of a wolf. The Courtiers body flinched at the surprise, and the horse shook his large head and snorted. Alder patted the dark neck, easing the horse before even being able to react much more towards the stranger, who had not seemed to notice the towering wolf upon the monstrous Shire stallion.

Giving ‘Torn a small nudge with his heel the moved forward more quickly then before, Alder curious and yet much more unsure about the female (for her scent was obvious in the clear air) who had suddenly appeared. Hello? He called, his voice deep but holding a gentle curve of insecurity.

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Colibri Haki · 03-08-2012, 11:16 AM

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WC:270

At first it was an echo, caught by a morning breeze. Then it became a low rumble, like distant thunder. Then all at once, the clattering of hooves against gravel was upon her, and it was too late for her to take cover again. Colibri darted across the open as quickly as she could manage, but from the corner of her eye she caught sight of the horse and rider, and knew they had spotted her as well. She had very little knowledge of horses, and from their description had assumed they would be like deer. It was startling how large this black beast was, with its chiseled head tossing and snorting, dark eyes glowing like coals. She felt her pulse quicken, fear heightening her senses. Was it going to trample her beneath its boulder hooves?

Coli was so distracted and frightened by the horse that she neglected to study the rider until he drew nearer, his deep masculine voice hailing her. Her ears flattened against her skull, blue eyes flashing with nervous energy. Her heart was leaping in her chest, drumming a rhythm that urged her to flee from this strong, capable wolf and his demon steed. But she remained in place, tail stub flicking anxiously as she contemplated how to respond. Something felt oddly welcoming about this sandy-grey stranger, something that made her curious.

"...Hello," she finally answered, offering him a curt nod. The scent of horse and leather was strong in the air, unfamiliar to the female. Perhaps, if she could appear capable and solitary, and not at all terrified and malnourished, she would be left alone.

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 03-08-2012, 12:52 PM

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Rider and steed moved with a bit of haste towards the figure that disappeared from view. At times Alder could not always remember that the steep he took on to a horse seemed different from the view of a grounded canine or creature. It was not till he caught the sight of the female, the obvious fear in her face and intertwined in her scent did Alder become aware of the sight he gave having urged the stallion forward. But she did not run, as it was not Alder wish to chase her. If she had, he would certainly allow her to disappear, and be forgotten if it was her desire. He only invited her to meet him by calling a greeting, it would her choice alone to accepted.

The Marshal dismounted when she spoke, her tone soft and her voice quiet. Alder stood before the horse, placing his large form between them so that the wolfess would not be faced with a possibly intimidating beast. Though his masked eyes, tan and black accented coat, and hefty build could be seen as intimidating itself. I am sorry to have startled you. Alder hoped she would take his apology. Caspa, a fellow Courtier, had taught him that some did not desire to feel the connection of wolf and horse. She wished to keep her distance from the large creatures and Alder had been taught to respect another’s wishes. Even if they were just written in there body language and not spoken aloud. His mother had done well to teach him manners.

I promise, we mean you no harm. The road was a dangerous place, and Alder did not want to be seen as a threat, nor did he want troubles with the lithe fey. Ragged and innocent she seemed but trust could not be given easily, despite first impressions.

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Colibri Haki · 03-09-2012, 03:15 PM

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WC:245

Her fingers strayed subconsciously to the little pouches she wore around her cream-furred throat, relieved to know that she had a last line of defense should this male be dishonest. There was an earnest quality about him, though, a look of genuine apology in his youthful cerulean eyes. Colibri felt her tense posture begin to relax, oddly comforted by his size rather than threatened by it. He was so polite. "It's all right," she replied in acknowledgment. "One can't be too careful out here..."

"...Are those things smart?" she found herself asking, peering curiously past the broad-shouldered man. The draft horse was the largest creature she'd ever seen, and it was impossible not to stare. Colibri liked deer, the way they would innocently stare at her before shyly bounding away -- enough to avoid hunting them for the most part, and instead satisfy her hunger on smaller creatures such as hares and lemmings. Still, she had never considered capturing a deer and riding around on it. What a ridiculous notion. She had legs, she could walk wherever she needed to go. And yet, wasn't that the main reason horses were kept around? "I, ah... don't know how to raise anything other than plants," she added after a moment, feeling as though she should qualify her curiosity. The horse did frighten her, but she found herself trusting in the stranger's promise that she would not be harmed. She swallowed anxiously before continuing, "...My name is Colibri."

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 03-14-2012, 08:35 AM

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Alder eased as he saw the tension released from the female. He had intimidated others, as had Hawthorn. But neither male’s had such personalities, they were soft and gentle creatures and she need not fear them. She was right though, neither traveler couldn’t be too careful on the road. Alder knew what happened when his guard was lazily shed, and the Courtier was not about to let that happen again and would not be offended by her reaction.

Her question caused Alder to melt back into his Marshal-mind. He nodded his head, and smiled at her interest in his horse. As always Hawthorn was a social buffer for the awkward male, and Alder was eager to elaborate on the species. They are. He replied, returning to the Shire horse’s side to give his long dark neck a pat. Smarter then some canines. I think. He tried to joke, but followed with an awkward clearing of his throat.

The brown and cream wolfess added that she was more apt to raising plants then anything else. It instantly reminded him of his mother, who was most comfortable among the dirt and weeds of the garden they anywhere else. That is certainly a talent. My mother has a garden. He said with an eager nod , I did not inherit her green thumb, but found my niche.. He stroked the horse's neck once more.

I’m Alder. He returned. Cobalt hued eyes looked around them and a question came about in the Captain’s mind. Do you live up here? She did not smell of packs, and did not know much about them, but perhaps such knowledge would be worth knowing.

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Colibri Haki · 03-17-2012, 01:05 PM

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Gardening, how she missed it! Colibri had not had the luxury of staying in one place long enough to develop any relationship with the land. In the fields of Dahlia de Mai, there was a greenhouse built with her name inscribed on the door, waiting if she should ever return. She thought longingly, though, of the scent-laden orchards of Crimson Dreams, walking with the sun's warmth against her back, soft leaves brushing playfully against her cheeks and muzzle as she inhaled the aromatic air... There was a pang in her chest, a loneliness she thought she had pushed aside. She missed a lot of things. The wistful look in her eyes hardened, steeling herself against her past life. "Your mother is lucky. Gardening requires patience and a gentle hand," she said simply, "-And I'm not sure I possess either anymore."

She let her eyes wander to the big black horse again, noting the easy rapport between steed and rider. They acted more like old friends than they did master and slave, or predator and prey... It was strange to see such a partnership between such different species, or at least it was to her. Wolves, coyotes, and dogs still struggled to get along with each other here. Horses must have some sort of charm about them to transcend that.

Alder... the name of a tree, one whose bark offered many useful medicinal purposes. She could not help but smile faintly at this -- his mother the gardener must love him indeed, to name him after such a plant. "Ah... I used to live around here, but I've been away for a few seasons. I'm... just trying to find my away around," she explained softly, and it was truth enough. She had spent more of her life in complete solitude than she had with others, rare for wolves, and it had not done her any favors. Her crippling shyness was still beneath the surface, a trait she would probably never overcome. Now, she merely developed a defensive act to shield it -- a jumpy, paranoid, quick-to-anger facade that would surely get her in even more trouble. She was such a mess. She never should have left the pack.

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 03-20-2012, 10:04 AM

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Alder did not know that their visions were the same. Pictures of the Dreaming garden and orchard filling their thoughts and hovering over their mind’s eye. He missed them, as he missed his mother and brothers. The Court was his place however, and he reminded himself of the life he had built there each time that remorse and longing returned to him. Her words were true, though lastly she spoke of her lack and Alder could not help his encouraging words. Perhaps you can find them again. He replied with a small smile. They all lost things with the passing of time, but most were simply waiting to be found and picked up once more.

The lands were ever changing, and Alder knew that the packs below them hadn’t been so stable in the season’s past. When she answered he could only grow more curious, wondering if she had been one of the founders of those groups or if it was in the southern area where she had known her home. It was not his pace to judge her travels, and as he thought of Trent, his possible friend and ex-traveler, there were many that roamed without the protection of the pack.

To be without that membership saddened Alder, who had always known family and pack as one. The road was a scary place, as they both had experienced that bit of panic before their introductions. The tan and black male thought it over a moment, and as his nature predisposed he wished to please. Are you looking to head south? I could escort you a ways. He offered. In truth her company would be appreciated as much as perhaps the protection he may be able to offer her along her travels. Hawthorn was enough for conversation, but it was the wolf in him that yearned to bond with her until he could return to the Court.

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Colibri Haki · 03-22-2012, 03:17 PM

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Find them again... Was it possible? Could she ever return to the safety and peacefulness that was the Dreamer lands, and simply be a gardener again? Colibri let her gaze drop to her hands, studying the lifetime of callouses and wear. It left her with a sinking feeling, thinking back on her progression of mistakes and misfortunes. Haku had taken her innocence long ago, and then years later stole her tail just to remind her of her powerlessness. Failed at living in a pack, failed at living on her own. She had given up on her dream of creating life, of becoming a mother and bringing new innocence to the world. And she had extinguished lives with her poisons, a mortal sin which would forever haunt her. Every step forward, every season she lived, she grew further and further from the good and pure values that she wanted to believe in. She was such a tarnished, broken soul.

She knew then she could never show her face to the Crimson Dreams pack again -- all they would see was the wretched loner she had become. "...I think it might be too late for me," she swallowed hard, looking back to Alder. It was hard to admit, for even though she had never had much confidence in herself, Colibri had always hoped that she could find salvation through others. She clung to so many others, most of all Anu... hoping somehow their guidance would make her a better person, and that she wasn't rotten to the core. But the truth had come out.

"I might not be the most cheerful company," she added wryly, "But if you'd really be willing to escort me, I wouldn't mind the company. I used to live in the southern packlands." She rubbed her sore wrist, mentally noting to keep an eye out for the poultice herbs she needed. Life had certainly been easier with her own garden. Coli realized that she had once again shown her poor social skills, putting a damper on their conversation with her pessimism. "Um... does the horse have a name?" she asked hesitantly, offering him a faint shadow of a smile. She had not seen a friendly face for far too long, and despite her anxious and paranoid tendencies, wanted to trust this man and wanted him to trust her.

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Alder · 03-27-2012, 10:08 AM

[html] sorry for the wait! you tend to make me write lots (lots for me lately)

Growing up, change and war had taught the male many things. The leadership of his King as well as the ever-present voice of his mother chimed like bells in the wind her words awoke and drifted through his mind. Eyes had done well to capture the picture of the earthen hued female, and he replayed the vision without having to glance down over her body once again. Instead he watched her face, the tentative glance and the audible swallow of a hard lump of truth and history spoke a story he had to stop from creating out of the bits and pieces he had gathered.

It was not enough to cast an honest show, and he knew better then to judge. But what could not be remedied with the simple antidote? It is never too late for forgiveness. he replied. When he had thought it too late for the AniWayans, it had been that very thing that Alder had implemented in order to regain the trust that was still building between the Southern packs. It had been what he needed when his mother had told him to leave, and he had believed himself too powerless to survive. It was not always for others, but mostly for himself. It was often that he needed to forgive his fears and carry on.

Where she may have expected him to be shadowed by her comment Alder found it simply as something they held in common. Being from the south was not a common occurrence for creatures in the northern area and he felt an instant camaraderie now that she had revealed that secret. As do I, Cour des Miracles. He added with a small smile, waiting for her to reply with her own former home.

Hawthorn. He replied, giving a pat on the horse’s back. Alder looked to the sun to figure their position and then turned slightly so that they could begin the journey. You can pet him in you’d like. Thinking back to Caspa and her fear, he thought that petting the horse had help to ease it. Even if just a minor bit.

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Colibri Haki · 03-31-2012, 12:05 AM

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WC:500 // Ahh, you have the same effect on me... xD Take as long as you want, I'm in no hurry!

Never too late for forgiveness...? Alder spoke the phrase earnestly, but could he really believe something that naive? Coli looked away from his serious blue eyes, suddenly reminded uncomfortably of someone else. It certainly was too late for her. An apology wouldn't bring back the dead, nor would it mend a broken relationship. Was she expected to forgive Haku? And could she ever forgive herself for being such a burden to everyone around her, dragging them down with her depression and uselessness...? Her tail stump twitched, flicking in agitation. "Maybe that's true for some people," she replied slowly. "But for the ones who can't change, how can you forgive them?" There was a hardness in her gaze, a defensive edge in her tone. There wasn't really a satisfactory answer to a question like that.

Colibri knew the foreign name Cour des Miracles, though that was the extent of her knowledge. She had only strayed near their beach once or twice in the past, and they had remained fairly new and mysterious at the time. She had no inkling that the green-eyed dog, her guardian angel, was actually their leader. She sensed that Alder was patiently waiting for her to reciprocate, but she still hesitated to divulge the complicated tangles of her past. Still, it wasn't like this young man could have known her before, or the circumstances that made it difficult to talk about. "...The last place I called home was Crimson Dreams," she finally sighed, looking downcast. "Although I've never stayed with one pack for long." Some of that was poor luck, although most of it was her own cowardice and tendency to self-sabotage. It was probably obvious to this tall handsome fellow, who no doubt was beloved by his packmates and made good use of his horsemanship. Compared to him, she looked and sounded quite shabby.

He mentioned Hawthorn, another plant name. Coli pictured the thorny shrub with its tiny red berries and the many birds that flocked to feed on them in the colder seasons. This horse was certainly sturdy like a tree, though she might have named the mammoth creature something more like... Mountain, or at least Boulder. She squinted suspiciously as Alder patted its muscular neck, offering for her to do the same. She huffed, shaking her head -- there was no way she was going to get within biting range and lose her fingers. Knowing Hawthorn was an intelligent companion animal didn't set her at ease much, that only meant it could make its own decisions and choose to trample her on its own. "...That's all right, I'm sure he prefers your touch to a stranger's," she muttered stubbornly. Alder's company was preferable to none at all, but that didn't mean she had to like his pet too. Besides, there was something about the gentle friendship they shared so effortlessly... it bothered her, in a way she could only describe as jealousy. Alder would never be lonely if he had Hawthorn at his side...

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 04-02-2012, 10:53 AM

[html] i miss plotting with you

It was difficult, and Alder knew that for certain. But… he was not well traveled; he had not journeyed through a lifetime of battles and losses. He had not lost all of those he had loved and had to face the beast that took them from his grasp. They all held a level of hardship in their past, some lower or higher then others. Alder was in certain respect’s naïve, believing that one single word could mean freedom from the shackles of the past and the heartache brought on by a beast that no longer even lived. Her objection to the idea was not expected, and his blue observant eyes read the defensiveness in her face. Though his stature may have spoken something different, Alder was a passive creature within the walls of his muscled physic. For yourself, he answered with an adverted gaze and added a non-determining, perhaps. to the end. He hoped the tension would dissolve as they moved along.

Though the Court was his home, her words brought him a new feeling that caused his lips to turn upwards into a smile. Crimson Dreams was a place he held dear, the lands he had grown up in and a world that held his family. It had been the place he had rode to in defense against the AniWayans and the picture he held in his thoughts when he charged into battle. Despite him being a Courtier, in his heart Alder would always be one among the Dreamers. My mothers pack. He commented, giving a light heartened glance over to the female. He knew not how long she lived among the Crimson wolves, and she made it sound like it was only a short stint. She had not given him any reason to seem joyous about her short time in their ranks, but in his eyes he could not see her time there as anything but. And so he did nothing to hide his smile.

Oh, I’m certain he is sick of me. Alder teased as they walked along. Of course, the horse –needed– the attention of the earth hued woman, and stuck out his nose to her for a bit of petting. He whinnied, seeking her hand and as if he knew that she was unsure the stallion yearned to show her that he was as gentle as his handler and searching for a friend. It is not love at first sight for everyone ‘Thorn. He spoke to the horse, who did not but still seemed to understand. I have a bit of food. He turned to the woman, I don’t mind sharing. The hares that were twined to the horses saddle could not be forgotten. Blue eyes watched the female, wondering if she would accept the offer.

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Colibri Haki · 04-03-2012, 02:22 PM

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WC:751 // ;n; I miss that tooooo~ also this is ridiculously long, I'm sorry!

Her defensive posture relaxed after a moment, noticing his averted gaze as he acquiesced to her. She hadn't meant to disappoint him, it was just... difficult. Life would be easier if there was always a way to determine right from wrong, because then the wrong-doers could be punished and the righteous rewarded. She knew her father was a bad man who hurt her many times, but he had also raised her as an infant and been kind to her and Cercelee in their youth. It wasn't something she had ever been able to explain to anyone, but as much as she was ashamed and horrified of the things Haku did, a part of her could not condemn him. He wasn't always evil. She, too, could succumb to madness someday, and would that be her fault? It was surely a cause of her internal conflict, because she could not classify her own actions as right or wrong either. Without guidance, she was more lost than ever. "For myself," she repeated softly, wondering if that really was the answer. No higher power could determine if she was sinner or to be saved, but she could find personal closure if only she believed she did what had to be done. "...Perhaps you're right."

At first Coli disregarded his offhand comment. The Dreamers had always been a very family-oriented pack, and even in the short time she had lived there, a litter had been born. They had many mothers. Denial tried to supply her with excuses - he could be a Marino son, or of the Knight family, or... or... The curious horse thankfully interrupted her thoughts, whinnying at her and thrusting his massive head closer to her. She blinked, startled, but a faint shadow of a smile crossed her lips. It wasn't often that anyone tried so hard to get her attention. Hesitantly, she raised her hand and brushed it once against his nose, delighting in the velvety texture. "Very nice," she murmured, nodding to the horse as though he was a formal acquaintance. Perhaps he wasn't such a frightening beast, although he still made her jump every time he made a noise. Alder continued speaking, offering her a meal as well as his company. He was certainly very kind, though he had only just met her. She was about to reply, when the thought finally occurred to her.

She felt her throat choke up suddenly, her step faltering. No, it couldn't be that. A gardener with a gentle hand, naming her children after the peaceful trees that she loved. "Your... m-mother's..." she mumbled, a hint of her old stammer returning. The last days she had spent in the Dreamer packlands had not been happy ones; she had fearfully created distance between herself and her beloved Anu, and the anxiety only made her want to avoid conflict all the more. She knew now that she could have salvaged the relationship if she just had more courage. Courage to actually face the one she loved and apologize for her weak behavior, and beg her for another chance. But instead, fear of abandonment pushed her further and further to the outskirts of the territory, evading all of her packmates and trying to prolong the inevitable.

And then... when spring had turned to summer, the orchard blossoms fading into budding fruit, she heard the news... Anu had given birth. It was... too much. She did not wait to hear why, to hear who the father was, to hear that she had officially been discarded and that Anu had moved on without her. She simply ran. Ran, and ran, until her chest burned for air, until her pawpads were split and bleeding, until her raw eyes could cry no more. After her exodus, she was too hurt to trust another pack, or any other wolf, and that began her solitary journey. She never wanted to think about that day again, but... but... Alder... his encouraging smile, his gentle cerulean gaze... "Your mother is... Anu?" she managed to choke out, blue eyes welling with emotion. This... was Anu's son. If she had not had the heart of a coward, this could have been her son as well. She had been gone for so long, Anu's children were already adults, leaving the pack to start their own lives. This ache in her chest would not cease, it was so hard to breathe... She had never stopped loving Anu. But it hurt so much to know that Anu stopped loving her.

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 04-04-2012, 07:53 AM

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Alder had learned in the recent past that forgiveness was an action, a feeling, and a release. It had not given anything to the pack that had stolen his mother, who had attacked his friends and then his own pack. AniWaya received nothing from Alder, for their lives would spin and move along with the world’s cycle no matter what a single meek and unsure wolf could do. But it had given him plenty. It had freed him from emotions that had tormented him, a plague of resentment that did not belong to his heart and marred him to the core. But he had given it all back when he forgave them, and he knew how uplifting and free he felt by the action. It had not been easy, but now he wondered why he had hated them for much longer then necessary.

He felt the tension lift from the space between he and the she wolf when she accepted the idea, even if she did not believe it as a truth she did not throw it back into the masked face of the Courtier.

The smile that had seated itself on his face only grew as he watched the woman touch Hawthorn’s nose. It was not a grand petting, and regardless the horse melted from the bit of attention and he would not push her for any more. But when he searched for a reply regarding the meal that they may be able to share her demeanor changed. Alder was an observant creature and he read a confusing look on her face. He did not understand what had been said, what he had done to cause her to become a bit upset. The tree named wolf stood still, unsure of what to say as she spoke slowly.

Colibri looked uneasy, her words coming forth to speak the honored name he held dear. Alder nodded, and then spoke softly. She is. His mother had never hurt another creature, she was incapable of doing so and the reaction was unlike anything that he had ever encountered in regards to Anu. Miss, are you okay? He asked, wondering if perhaps they should stop to allow her to rest. A concerned and confused look settled into his features, but he still wished to help if he could.

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Colibri Haki · 04-05-2012, 01:42 PM

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WC:384 // =)

Colibri struggled to choke it back down, all the wild emotion threatening to burst free. It would not do to start crying in front of Alder, of all people, even if that was what she wanted more than anything. She swallowed, inhaling deeply and trying to reattain the facade of calmness - or at least stop her hands from visibly trembling. Pull yourself together, she silently chastised herself, exhaling slowly. It was a shock to meet Anu's son, especially so soon after returning... but he clearly didn't know who she was. "I... I'm fine," she murmured, flashing an apologetic smile. "Just a bit surprised. I was... a friend of Anu's, but I left before you were born. She... must not have mentioned me." Of course not, why would she? A sudden burning curiosity began to replace her grief; here was a chance to finally know what had happened when she left, something she had tried not to fantasize about during the seasons she spent by herself. It was already her greatest regret, running away like that -- now that she had been forgotten, why not learn just how much she had missed out on?

She shook her head, trying to clear away the clamoring thoughts of negativity. Lightly she stepped forward again, motioning that they should continue and she did not need rest. She was fine, or at least she needed to appear so. "...Who is your father, then, is he a Dreamer too? Your mother's mate?" she asked as casually as she could muster, striving hard to keep the edge of jealousy and accusation from her tone. She knew it was terribly intrusive and personal, and it wasn't as though Alder could have chosen who his relatives were. It was just one of the questions she needed to know the answer to, even if the truth would hurt her even more. A twinge of shame angled her ears back; she was embarrassed at how transparent she must seem, especially to this sensitive and observant youth. It wouldn't be hard for him to guess that she was more than just a friend, since she had crumpled at the mere mention of Anu's name. The Praetor still held immense power over her, and perhaps she always would. It was hard to forget a first love.

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 04-09-2012, 11:45 AM

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There was a great concern gathering inside his chest. It tightened his heart and made his head ache slightly. Alder was one to absorb the energy around him, he could see it but it did not stop there. He sucked it inside and he was beginning to mimic her panic. It was at that point that he fought against it, and yearned to right the wrong he hadn’t known he was committing. The thoughts raced through his mind, the possible ways to keep the female together as she was so seemingly falling apart.

Her answer made him hopeful, and her smile calmed his own fears slightly. Dark ears listened intently, striving to understand what caused them to halt and be faced with an oncoming disaster. Alder was silent, lips sealed as he fought to smile and not show a frown. He was left with an awkward face in between, as he found it so hard to hide his emotions.

When she said the words he searched his memories. But there was nothing with her name that was brought back from that bank. Anu had told them stories; ones of love and others of loss. At night when they were just pups and not yet eager to sleep, she would unravel tales of knights and dragons and myths that she had heard from her own mother and from other storytellers.

There was one though. One that he did not even glance over in his mind, not because Anu had not been detailed for she always was. But simply not in the way that would cause him to associate Colibri with the maiden of the story. If he would concentrate harder he would see the docked tail, and the fur as pure as the earth itself and eyes more vibrant then the most placid and still of lakes. If he remembered hard enough he would know that the night time tale of a monster looking for blood and that one of the two females that escaped his grasp and lived happily ever after was standing before him.

She spoke again, and the masked boy’s expression did not change much. His concern for the female seemed to fade from his face and he was left with nothing tangible inside. That was what his father did to him. Anu meant everything; his father nothing. Alder shook his head, No. He had nothing against the once-Infernian; he had never done anything against him or his family. Still, he was not celebrated in Alder’s heart. He was the Aquila of Inferni. Gabriel de la Poer. Alder paused in his speech and continued to walk forward. Alder had never waited for his father, nor would he allow him to delay their return to the southern area of ‘Souls.

My parents were good friends, but never mates. My mother has not had a mate since Naniko, the mother of my brother Haven and sister Mati. Though, she was in love after that… It pains her to speak of it, so I do not ask. Alder knew his mother desired company, desired connection and that was how he came to the world, an insight he had come to himself and not from asking Anu outright.

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Colibri Haki · 04-12-2012, 01:24 PM

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WC: 665 // I can't stop rambling! D: Loved your post~~

Colibri was normally sensitive to the moods around her, but her own churning emotions made her sadly oblivious to her effect on poor Alder. It was a lot to think about, especially since she had sought to eliminate romance from her life entirely -- it was too complicated, and she was too bad at it. If she could be honest with Alder, and just ask him outright if she had a chance -- but no, that would surely upset him, and she would seem so desperate and pathetic. Besides, she was still a mess; underweight and bedraggled, still healing up from the ordeal she had escaped. It was like everything was falling apart, too quickly for her to put the pieces together.

Gabriel de le Poer, that was a name Coli knew well from the Dahlia-Inferni war. But she had never met the leader of the coyotes, and did not know whether Alder took after him at all. It was an irony she would not fully grasp that Alder's sire and her own father had been mortal enemies. Their family name, though, de le Poer... She remembered meeting Anselm, and long before that, Jasper. Both had been cordial and kind, not at all the stereotype of violent Inferni brutes she had been warned of. Alder could easily have been their relative. It did surprise her to know that Gabriel and Anu were friends, since wolves were not allowed even near the borders... but it did not surprise her long, knowing how truly sweet and charming the female could be. Who could hate her for being born a wolf? There was no rancor in her heart, and perhaps even the Inferni coyotes could recognize that.

"I'm sorry," she apologized quickly, noticing the subtle change in Alder's tone. "I... didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I... I never knew my mother," she added, feeling the pressing need to divulge something in return. It was rude to ask so many questions and share nothing about herself. "It can be strange to know one parent so well, and to know nothing of the other. Feels like a part of yourself is a mystery." And it always would be. Whoever Milla Jolie had been when she was alive, her only daughter would never know.

Her companion had more to say, and the words stirred up more memories. The sisters Mati and Brooklyn had lived at the Manor when Colibri was there, but they had sadly not had much interaction. Coli desperately wanted to befriend them, but her own shyness prevented her from seeking them out; she had feared that the girls would resent her cohabiting with their mother when she was so much younger. But Haven, she and Haven were friends! They had gone drinking together in the city, and while the memory was a bit fuzzy around the edges, she remembered they really connected and had a lot in common. It made her smile to hear those names again - all these souls she never thought she would encounter twice, all interconnected. And then a ray of hope began to filter through the stormclouds in her mind -- could she actually come back after all? She really did miss it all, the closeness of pack life and all the families coming together. Living alone made her feel less guilty about burdening others, but the loneliness was crushing her. Perhaps Alder was right about forgiveness. But... there was only one person out there whose forgiveness she craved, and if she was rejected, that... that would be the end of her life.

"I know Haven, and Mati, too. I hope they're doing well," Colibri answered with that hesitant smile. "And Anu, I... I hope th-that... her heartache has eased since then." She couldn't meet Alder's gaze when it reminded her so much of his mother, and let her eyes wander instead to Hawthorn, watching the stallion walk beside them. It was as close to apologizing as she could reach for now.

Table by Alli! Smile

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Alder · 04-18-2012, 08:35 AM

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Alder had not questioned his mother’s explanation of the tree-son’s father. He hadn’t even been the one to ask. Either Oak or Cypress had needed to know. They had always been more interested in the things that they lived without. Alder knew that they did well without their father, Anu had always provided for them and Alder felt her love was enough. Crimson Dreams had been a good place for them to grow up in, and he had not wished to be among the coyotes that his father had ruled. Unlike Cypress, who sought out the sire’s help when Anu had been captured. Alder would not forget his disloyalty, he had punished him for it and he was not even of the Dreaming ranks. But it had been a battle between blood, a loyalty for their mother’s sake rather then just the pack. No, Alder would never believe his father was of anything important. He was glad Gabriel was gone.

I do not wonder about him, and I hardly think of him. I love my mother, and she was all I needed growing up. She had taught him everything, and had given him the ability to learn what she had no knowledge of herself. She had brought him to the Court, and because of that he had gained the Marshall rank. Alder needed nothing more.

The masked male was a bit surprised that she knew his siblings, and nodded for they were doing well with their families. They are well, and mother… her heart has found peace. In her sons’ growth, in the end of war, the beginning of spring, in the blossoms of the apple trees. He wished that some day he could find contentment in simple things as his mother did. Are you looking for a pack? Crimson Dreams is small, there would no doubt be space for you, your talents too. He spoke casually, not longer in the empty mindset that his father brought to him.

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Colibri Haki · 04-24-2012, 07:38 PM

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WC: 319

It was a blessing to know that Haven and Mati were doing well, though she did wonder momentarily what happened to Brooklyn. To hear that Anu eventually found peace, that was a true weight off her shoulders. Inner peace was not something she had ever achieved for herself, but knowing that her cowardly actions had not permanently damaged Anu made her sigh in relief. As much as Colibri needed to feel the approval of others, she needed the reassurance that she was not poison to them all.

"...Not Cour des Miracles?" Coli teased gently, her hesitant smile broadening. It was sweet how loyal Alder was to his birthplace, even after he had evidently outgrown it and moved on. The thought of returning was a tempting one indeed; her heart ached longingly when she remembered the orchards, the sunny fields and sweet blossoms, and most of all, the woman she loved now more than ever. But anxiety and fear coiled in her stomach, a cold sweat beading up on her palms and nosetip. It was too soon to face them. Anu deserved an apology, not a filthy half-starved beggar groveling to get her old home back. And Savina, the thought of those judgmental green eyes staring her down was terrifying. And how many wolves had come and gone in the time she was missing? They had probably forgotten all about her, and wouldn't want a reminder.

"Ah, I'm n-not sure they would even want me back there, Alder... As I said, I didn't stay long, and... well... your mother had reason to be upset with me, I never told her... goodbye." Truth be told, she never wanted to leave at all; it was her detestable insecurities, the damaged part of her psyche that panicked every time she started to feel the beginning of happiness and peace. She rubbed her arms, suddenly feeling chilled despite the morning sun rising above them.

Table by Alli! Smile

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