298Back-dated to March 28th, early morning. He's headed back towards the remains of the highway.
Cerberus found himself grooming that morning, and nothing more complex than that. Thoughts were not to be had at a time like this - after so blatantly crushing Soran, the last thing he wanted to do was dwell on the memories of the past, whether recent or far gone. Besides, it seemed as though no matter how hard he tried not to, the coywolf continued to hurt others and to hurt himself. Why was it so difficult for him to fit in? Why was it so difficult for him to put a smile on someone's face? It seemed as though he'd lost his charm, lost his ability to make people happy. This fact alone tore him apart inside; he wasn't himself anymore.
So, as mundane as it seemed, his mind remained on the rhythmic strokes of his tongue over his mottled fur: "...twelve...thirteen...fourteen..." One thing he COULD do was make himself look good, that he knew. He'd fussed over his appearance countless times throughout his life, and he wasn't about to stop and make himself look as miserable on the outside as he felt on the inside. In fact, the hybrid realized now that it had been so long since he'd shifted into his optime form, that he wasn't even sure what his mane looked like anymore. Surely it had to have grown out a bit, and it was probably more unruly than it had ever been. And then, an inkling of an urge to go exploring for trinkets and treasures (perhaps beads or strips of leather to tie in his mane, maybe even a mirror) nudged him to his feet, and he soon found himself wandering toward the back of New Dawn territory. With his snout lifted to the wind, he limped along in search of something...interesting.
She was fairly certain that it was quite safe to say she had failed. She’d come to this new land to start anew—to forget, move on, and, most importantly, to change. But no… she hadn’t changed at all, had she? To the shadows she kept, her mind her only company—and with solely her mind for company, she fell further and further into her etched personality that she’d attempted to leave behind. The more time she spent alone, the more time she spent avoiding others—and the more time she spent avoiding, the more time she remained in solitude: a vicious, consuming cycle. How to break it? She wasn’t sure—it wasn’t as simple as just resolving: “Okay, go and seek someone out.” No, it was never that simple. It was urgent, however. Her mind had begun to reach back into the corners, sticky fingers pulling back pieces of the shattered mirror that was her memory. A regret here, a possibility there, a misunderstanding. In Insomnia's seclusion, she had begun to question her choice to leave her old home. And that was not acceptable. If she continued down this road, it was likely she’d abandon the alluring mountains all together to return to a home that didn’t want her back. So not knowing how exactly, she at least knew that she must break her circle of solitude.
The small girl wandered through the valley, eyes cast toward the sky in thought and wonder. Her surroundings were lost to her as she let herself be consumed with daydreams and possible solutions to her problem. The starlight offered a faint, shimmering light to set the valley faintly aglow with mystery. In the sunlight, her black fur gleamed happily, as glowing with the prospect of meeting it’s matching counterpart. Today, only the tips of her dark guard hairs caught the elusive light as she padded along. Her mis-matched gaze glinted faintly as well—though like everything else in the valley, there was a certain kind of pale shadow cast over her small frame.
The scent of another suddenly brought her back to her senses. Stopping swiftly her gaze flickered around the wide valley to find the source; alas, she didn’t spot anyone. Her mind playing tricks? The girl breathed in deep, taking the full extent of the smell into her lungs; no, she was certain it was there. And more importantly, something she only noticed the second time, the fragrance of stones and pine accompanied the individual—the scent of Auvrea. A fellow pack-mate? Ears folding backwards she breathed out in an attempt to steady her breath. Courage. She could make the difference today. She wasn’t going back there… she wouldn’t go back. As if her entire existence depended on finding the wolf, her eyes scanned the landscape once more, this time with a little more success. A large lump marred the otherwise-flat territory. Slowly, quietly, apprehensively, Insomnia approached. She recognized the wolf when she was closer. It was Ceri. She smiled, her tail wagging and run to him. "CERI!!"
The tattered coywolf paused beside a clearing of trees, peering out at what appeared to be a weathered road. His head tilted curiously to one side, and his ears perked forward attentively as he chanced a sniff toward the strange structure. All of the roads Cerberus had ever encountered in his life were made of dirt or gravel, so this new, black material was rather foreign to him. Padding forward, he traversed onto it with all the caution of a curious pup, feeling the strange texture of the road beneath his paw pads. It was soft, but rough at the same time, much like a stone smoothed by the constant caress of a stream. Weeds and grass crept over the edges of the road like spindly fingers, portraying to all passersby that this was not a road many used for travel any longer. He touched his damp snout to its lumpy surface then, and a plethora of smells greeted him. Eventually he gathered that this was not a road forged by wolves, but rather one forged by humans long ago. How strange were the practices of the two-legs.
Suddenly a smell hinting at familiarity but still too new to spark any true memories drifted his way, and the coywolf peered over his shoulder toward the source of it. Trotting toward him was a petite, dark figure, one that proved to be a she-wolf sporting the perfume of New Dawn on her fur. When she spoke Ceri’s name, a coy grin immediately spread across his lips. Well if it isn’t my lovely little nurse, he cooed, flattening his ears as he slunk up beside her and nudged his snout against her cheek. What brings you out here, princess? He stepped back then, but only enough to look into her mismatched eyes. His ears remained flat and his tail tucked so as to show proper respect to a higher ranking canine, but otherwise his demeanor was rather calm. He would be lying if he said Insomnia wasn’t a pleasant sight; in fact, he was very glad to see her. But he would surely keep his guard up with this one – there was no point in wasting flirtatious energy on a wolfess who had a mate. The scent of Shadowfang lingered on Insomnia’s pelt, and Ceri knew from their night of hunting together that the ebony male could easily take him down if he viewed him as a threat. Still, there couldn’t be any harm in a little sweet attention…could there? Straightening up a bit, Cerberus flashed his most charming smile, and his tail flicked out from behind his ankles only long enough to provide a glimpse of his cocky yet debonair personality.
He grinned. A grin. A grin. What did she say? What did she do? Was it a positive or negative gesture? Was it something to look forward to or stare down upon? He must have found something funny or ridiculous about her. She was perhaps a joke, now. Terror flooded her just upon the thought. Could she make up for it? Could she fix whatever crime, whatever mistake she had casted? She shook her head and gave a smile back at the male. "Awww. Well, I was just in the neighborhood and saw you walking. Thought you could use your little nurse again." Her smile became a cheeky grin and she nuzzled his neck. Insomnia knew she had a mate, but Shadow had been with other girls the past few days. So why couldn't she be with Ceri. "Why are you all the way out here?" She tilted her head and looked around at the scenery. It was a human graveyard. Her mix matched eyes widened a bit. She had never seen an human artificial type thing before. "....wow." She sat down, her tail wagging slowly behind her.
Cerberus was entirely grateful for the friendly way in which Insomnia responded to his company. In fact, he was rather pleased that most of his pack mates didn’t expect him to submit to them, despite his rank. However, he did long for the day when he would perhaps be promoted to at least a subordinate in the pack, mainly because he wanted to feel equal to the others in some way. Though he knew being an omega wasn’t bad – Titania certainly cared for her omegas – he still felt as though his position were a constant reminder of his irresponsible actions and failure to save Blind. Fortunately, as a result of being nearer to Insomnia, the entire ranking system seemed to dissolve, and they were left as just two wolves enjoying the day together. This fact alone broadened the smile on Ceri’s face, and he dramatically leaned on the dark she-wolf after settling down beside her.
You’re absolutely right, he sighed in mock-distress, I most definitely need my nurse around. I have been quite hopeless without her. And, in answer to your question, I’ve come out here in search for some neat trinkets and treasures, perhaps something useful. However, it seems as though one treasure has already come to find me. He tossed the she-wolf a light-hearted wink and then looked down at the road. Quite interesting, isn’t it? he continued, noting her awe. I’m not entirely sure what the point of this strange, hard dirt is, but it feels nice underfoot. He pawed at the ground a time or two again, and then sat completely still. Slowly, a wicked grin curled his lips and he turned to the wolfess, eyeing her like a shiny bauble. He then stretched his maw forward and nipped playfully at her ear, hopping up immediately afterward to invite a chase as he tore off through the tall grass.
Luckily enough, Insomnia had always been more of a playful wolf. As the seconds and minutes ticked by, she grew to be more and more attentive of her surroundings, and the foggy haze of sleep was drifting from her eyes. At the teasing greeting, a gentle smile formed on her face, a soft giggle bubbling in her throat. Always the optimist, she had had faith that nothing bad had come upon him and that soon he would return. Sure enough, he had, and all was well.
Her tail wagged lightly. "It is," she agreed. It was a good day to laze around and sleep for a while, but now that she was with Ceri, being lazy wouldn't happen. A flutter came within her heart the more that he spoke, and she could feel herself growing warm beneath her fur. An almost dizzy feeling slid through her for a moment. She might have believed that in the past, but she seemed to have a history of feeling warm and elated when around Cerberus. Insomnia was beginning to truly believe that it was not a coincidence that he made her feel this way, and that she was more flattered at being called 'his nurse' than she would have previously let on. Shyly glancing up at her friend, she recomposed herself enough to reply," You're a sweetheart sometimes Ceri." Mix-matched eyes were warm and full of light as her stomach filled with butterflies all over again. "It does feel nice..and it's so warm!" she genuinely replied, voice quiet. Even though she was being shy, she might acted on the urge to lean in and gently brush her muzzle against his. He did something though with that grin. He bit her ear and darted off. She laughed, smirking and bounded off after him. "Imma get you!" she yelled happily.
Cerberus had been so intent on playing that he’d nearly missed Insomnia’s compliment. What had she called him? ‘Sweet’? Perhaps others had called him that, but he couldn’t recall at the moment, and because of this, Cerberus was quite flattered. His smile grew wider still as he bounded through the meadow, straying from his path only once in order to hide behind a bush. Lowering down to the ground, his ivory belly brushed the grass and he forced his breathing to quiet, watching closely for the she-wolf.
Ceri’s injuries had healed quite well in the time he’d taken to rest. He’d managed to tug the stitches out with his teeth without causing too much damage to the scabbing flesh, and now only time and a careful disposition would seal the marks for good. This he was grateful for, otherwise he would have been in incredible pain in such a hunched position, his muscles tense after escaping Insomnia’s grasp. And with his healing wounds, followed his healing heart. He’d come to an acceptance of Ciara’s newfound mate, and now he only wished her the best. In an odd way, he had also come to see her as more of a little sister than a prospect for love, and looked back on their time together as nothing more than a friendly frolic. Besides, he enjoyed moments like these where he could flirt and play with a she-wolf without worrying about how he’d explain such play to a wolfess waiting for him back home. He was wild and free; running with the wind and sleeping under the stars. As far as he was concerned, no one could tame him.
A moment or two passed before Cerberus chanced a peek around the edge of the bush. He could sense that Insomnia was near, but he wasn’t entirely sure where she was. His impatience finally got the better of him, and he leapt out from his cover in order to locate his ‘little nurse.’
Insomnia had been running threw out the grass for a while and tripped over a rock, falling onto the ground. She sighed. She really wasn't coordinated but she would of seen the rock if she was paying attention. She sat there in the tall grass for a few minutes, only her ears were visible. Why was she doing this? She knew she was with Shadow, but Cerberus had something that Shadow lacked. She couldn't put her finger on it yet but she would figure it out until she went crazy.
She got up and went searching for her 'patient' again. She looked up and down. "Ceriiiiiipoooo Come out, come out where ever you are." She smiled and jumped in the grass. Than she saw him jump out of his hiding spot and she smirked, got into a pouncing position and pounced on him. She giggled and pinned him down under her. "Got you." She wagged her tail fast and nuzzled his neck.
Despite the fact that he probably should have, Ceri hadn’t seen her coming. In a split second, he found himself lying pinned beneath Insomnia, staring in a confused daze up at the ebony wolfess. A smile then permeated the confusion on his face, and a soft laugh skittered from his throat before he broke into a playful snarl and pawed at Insomnia’s shoulder. His own bottle-brush tail disturbed the grass beneath it in its enthusiastic sway, and he threw himself forward to wrestle the she-wolf over onto her back.
Cerberus couldn’t lie – it felt absolutely wonderful to be back on his feet and playing again, as if he’d never been attacked that fateful day. Insomnia seemed to be the first wolf that made him forget the pain of his recent past, allowing him to be himself all over again. Bi-colored eyes alight with mischief, Cerberus nipped at Insomnia’s neck and attempted to pin her instead, his tail beating the air around them all the while. I’m impressed, princess, he teased, his ears twitching at a nickname he’d used for other she-wolves before, but one that seemed to make his skin tingle when he called her by it, you’re a lot tougher than you look. He chuckled and winked at her once more, and then finally stepped aside to allow her to stand.
The compliment sent her way was enough to stir the shyness again, though not in a bad way. While she didn't have low self-esteem, she was never the sort to boast total confidence either; there was always the part of her that sought acceptance from the outside world, and now that she had received it, she had never went to look for more. However, even with this content mindset, she would be lying to herself if she said that Cerberus's complements didn't make her feel giddy beyond compare. The more that she was around her dear friend, the more that her soul wanted to soar to the sky, lit aflame like a phoenix that burst from the ashes. Strange, perhaps, that although she already felt so happy with where she was in life, she always felt even better when near him. This couldn't be dismissed so easily like it could be in puppyhood, and it was only a matter of time before the truth would come out. Her natural timidity made this difficult, but fate had a funny way of handling even the most trying obstacles. "You're not so bad yourself hun."
The quiet that followed was peaceful - too peaceful, perhaps, and that should have been the first sign that it couldn't last. Seemingly out of nowhere, Cerberus had sprung forward flipping her over on her back. She giggled and gave him a cheeky grin. Once he got up off of her, she got up slowly and licked his cheek. "Whatcha want to go do now?" She nuzzled him once more and step back a step in case he didn't like it.
Cerberus was, in fact, just fine with Insomnia’s display of affection – he’d never turn down the nuzzle of a pretty she-wolf. So, instead of pulling away just as she did, he brushed his forehead against her neck and then tipped over onto his back, displaying his soft underbelly in a somewhat submissive manner before quirking his head to one side in order to better peer up at her.
At her question, Cerberus found himself having to think for a moment, seeing as he’d nearly forgotten his purpose for being out here in the first place. But his goal slowly trickled back to him, filling the vacant spaces in his memory as his paws curled up in a pup-like manner over his chest. Well, as I said earlier, I was hoping to explore a bit, he said. I’d love to have your company while I do so, if you’d like to come along. Perhaps you can help me find a bit of treasure, too?
If Insomnia declined his offer, it wouldn’t necessarily hurt his feelings; Ceri was perfectly content with lounging around in the sun with her instead. But he hadn’t been out to scavenge human wastelands in quite some time, and the adventurer in him longed to stretch its ‘treasure-hunting muscles.’ The coywolf’s warm eyes met those of Insomnia’s then, and he smiled casually at her. If she wanted to play for a while longer, too, that was fine as well. There was a certain comfort in knowing that they’d both return to the same home at the end of the day, and therefor a feeling of having all the time in the world. He no longer had to worry about his playmate retiring to the safety of a pack where he didn’t belong, leaving him to seek shelter beneath a lonely tree. He was a pack wolf now too, and he was lucky that Insomnia would only be a pawstep away if he wanted to see her again…and already he knew that he did in fact want to see her again.
"Of course I'll go with you!" She smiled and nuzzled him, her eyes gleaming with happiness. Cerberus was such a sweetheart when he wanted to be. She smiled and sat on top of him. "You know you don't have to submit to me hun, I would never think of you lower than me." She nipped his chest playfully and nuzzled his nose. She would never let a wolf submit to her if she cared about them this much. It just wasn't right that he was a lower rank than she was. She got up and moved to sit next to him. "We can do whatever you want." She sighed to herself and looked up at the sky. It was such a pretty day and she wanted to spend it with this male.
Paired with the weight of the wolfess sitting on his body was the weight of an odd desire settling on his chest. Cerberus had smelled the mind-numbing scent of the she-wolf in heat when Insomnia had greeted him at New Dawn’s borders, but now it was teasing his nostrils once again as she brought herself infinitely nearer to him. The smell was so dizzying, in fact, that it was all he could do not to begin showering the ebony wolf with kisses. No, he thought firmly, this wolf belongs to another man. She is not mine to take. But his instincts were so strong - surely she was capable of bearing many healthy pups, ones that looked like him. Again he scolded himself mentally, and then concentrated on the way the trees curled into odd shapes as they touched the sky for the mere purpose of distracting himself.
Immense relief flooded through Ceri when Insomnia hopped off of him. He immediately rolled onto his feet, giving his fur a brief shake before peering past her shoulder. I appreciate that you don’t think of me as a lesser wolf, darling, he said, turning his gaze on her once more. What good is a man if a woman so easily stands over him? Cerberus smirked at his own words; he wasn’t the kind of wolf who would easily back down from protecting a woman in a show of dominance, but he wasn’t a bigot either. However, again, he had to remind himself that protecting this woman was not his job. With a twitch of his torn ear, he scouted the area in a brief glance and then began trotting even farther back into New Dawn’s territory. Perhaps we’ll start by heading to the reservoir, eh? he suggested, glancing over his shoulder at the she-wolf to make sure she was coming. He was indeed glad that she had agreed to come along with him, and he wasn’t about to leave her behind.
She sighed as he didn't really act the way she expected. She wanted to be cuddled up against him and never move. But she knew he would never act that way with her. She whined a bit as he got up but looked up at him. "They'd be insane." She looked up again at the sky again. Than she slowly got up and followed him. Why did she have to think this way about Cerberus. She didn't want to...only that she did worried her. She shook it off her though and caught up to the brute and bumped her hip with his, still trying to be close to the male. "Sooooo.... do you do this often?" she laughed a bit trying to lift the awkwardness away. She wanted to just snuggle up with this male and love him forever. She couldn't though, she had shadow and Ceri would never feel the same way about her.
Ceri blinked in surprise when Insomnia bumped up against him, but otherwise smiled at her approach. She was a charming young thing, full of a bright spirit while still possessing an alluring, exotic nature. In fact, she reminded him a bit of Blind…but he dared not think on the deceased wolfess for too long – he proved to be rather fragile still when he focused on the source of his emotional pain. With his black snout pointed upward, he sniffed the air a time or two before lowering his head again and strolling forward. He’d never been to the abandoned reservoir before, so he wasn’t exactly sure where it was. But he was eager to find it nonetheless, as it held the promise of treasure and excitement.
Insomnia asked if he’d ‘done this often’ and he wondered for a moment what she was talking about. But then he realized that she was referring to his scavenging, and at that he nodded. I’ve been treasure hunting a few times in my day, he said, almost sarcastically, as if he were an old man telling stories. But each outing is just as fun as the last, whether you find anything or not. His mismatched eyes swiveled over to Insomnia and he smiled, pausing only to nudge against her snout with his own before continuing forward.
Once I like someone, I fall hard. I go head over heels repeatedly. Everything he says to me will be perfect. Every gesture, every word, everything. I’ll imagine scenarios of us spending countless moments together. I’ll imagine in my hopeless romantic mindset. Him giving me my favorite flowers. Him singing to me. Us watching stars. Us just holding hands on long walks in a park. Us just simply getting coffee together. But there’s just one thing about me falling for someone. I don’t just fall for anyone. I know what it’s like to be hurt. I’ve experienced it. Lived through it. And that’s why it can be hard to get me to fall for you. I won’t let you know I’ve fallen or you. And if I do decide to let you know, it won’t be obvious. I’ll always keep this little barrier up. Just in case. I don’t want to be hurt again. And when I think you’re the one. I’ll open up. And maybe just maybe that certain someone really will be the one. And whenever it turns out that he isn’t, the barrier goes up. With a new layer. Even more resistant than before. If I fall for you, I’ll try to let you know. But I’m terrible at putting my true thoughts and feelings into words. And sometimes, my disability to put words together will drive you away. But if you stay even if I’m bad at putting words together, you are definitely someone I would keep. If I do end up falling for you, I’ll have fallen hard. Really hard. So make sure to catch me. Insomnia was looking down now, thinking this silently to herself. Why was she getting torn up about this? This stupid male was making her go insane. Why? This was so crazy to her. She would have to focus on other things now. Not her instincts. "Well...Hopefully we can find something." She smiled slowly as Ceri nudged her with his muzzle. She wanted to ask what would happen if they were together but she kept her mouth closed for now. "Hey Ceri....Can I ask you something? It's okay if you don't want to answer it." The she-wolf stopped and looked at Ceri, her eyes filled with happiness and pleading that he would say yes. "D....do you like me..." Her eyes went to the ground the second after she had asked and took a step back. She knew the answer would probably be no but she needed to know for her sake of not going crazy. She sighed and turned around. "I am sorry..."
Cerberus noticed without a doubt the way in which Insomnia seemed to space out on their walk. The time between her words left Ceri time to think too, however, on…well, what she might be thinking. He hadn’t known the wolfess very long, so she couldn’t be reflecting on moments they’d spent together. That is, unless she was thinking back to the day she tended to him while waiting for the alphas to reply to his call. Perhaps she’d heard something – a bit of gossip maybe – about him while he was gone? Maybe she’d heard something even after he returned and was wondering if it was true? Fortunately, he didn’t have to question for long, because soon she spoke. It was a question that she asked, and one that caught him rather off-guard.
Do I…like you? he repeated. Part of him felt like being witty and saying something about how he wouldn’t have invited her to tag along if he didn’t like her. But he knew what she meant – she was in heat, after all. This didn’t relieve the confusion, however, for he saw no reason for a wolfess with a mate to be asking such questions. Unless…had he already led her on? Oh, Insomnia, he said, his eyes widening apologetically, I didn’t mean to…well the truth is…I mean I know you have a mate, so… No matter how hard he tried, the words wouldn’t come out quite like he wanted. What he WANTED to say was that he was terribly sorry if he’d led her to believe he was persuing her, for he wasn’t the sort of wolf to try and steal the mates of others. But she was beautiful, and he’d be incredibly lucky to have her as his mate. A light blush touched his cheeks at the thought.
"I know...I know.. You don't feel the same. I know that I have a 'mate' but he is never around when I need him, he never shows me that he cares..." She shook her head and sighed. "I shouldn't had brought that up, I'm sorry Cerberus.." This would be awkward between them now. She turned around and saw a blushing Ceri and stopped in her tracks. Maybe he did like her., or maybe he was thinking of another wolf. But for whatever reason, Insomnia walked to him and licked his muzzle and cheek, than bounding off towards the abandoned reservoir. If he did, she knew he would follow after. If not she would treasure hunt by herself.
Cerberus opened his mouth to respond, to tell Insomnia that she was jumping to conclusions. But the ebony she-wolf was gone just as quickly as she had appeared. Cerberus stood, slack-jawed and watching her grow smaller on the horizon the farther away she got. With a quirk of his head, he blinked and then darted after her, slipping between the trees and leaping over rocks as he followed close behind.
Soon enough, the reservoir trickled into view as well as the dark pelt of Insomnia. He skidded to a halt behind her, nearly colliding with the she-wolf in his efforts to catch up with her. His bi-colored eyes flickered around in their attempt to take everything in, and he smiled pleasantly at the serene sight. It was lovely, despite the fact that it was old and abandoned. Padding up to the water’s edge, Cerberus dipped his snout into the murky lake and then snorted, shaking his head a bit before lifting it again. He then glanced over his shoulder at Insomnia, smiling reassuringly to her before nuzzling her neck. What I said…well, it didn’t come out right, he admitted, turning his head to look into the water again. But give me a chance, and who knows what could happen? I’d love for you to stick around…spend some time with me. His mismatched eyes flickered over to her and he winked, brushing his side against hers before sitting down on the bank.
If being right means being without you, I’d rather live a wrong-doing life. Am I wrong to hunger for the gentleness of your touch?
If being right means being without you, I’d rather live a wrong-doing life Am I wrong to hunger for the gentleness of your touch?
Things just couldn’t be as she wanted them to be. She was stuck in limbo: she could neither go back to living within a world without nor could he move forward without him. She had to do something, she couldn’t just leave and pretend as if they had never shared anything. If she left Ceri here, she might never see him again. She needed him now more than ever and it would be depressing, let along agonizing, to come so close to having him always near her and just flush it all away. She smiled at the male. "You followed...So I will give you a chance." She smirked and stuck her tongue out at him. She liked having him this close, well she liked anyone this close. She nuzzled his shoulder gently and looked at the water. "What treasures do you think are here Ceripoo."
