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Conri had awoken the moment the sun peered past the horizon, barely casting it's light across the lands. He rose, his head swimming in confusing, groggy and screaming at him. Her skin was warm against him, fuzzy eyes dancing across her as she slept, and for a moment he didn't know what was going on. The smell of sex still clung to him though, filled his nostrils and brought back the events of the evening before to his head. Conri slid away from her quickly, crawling across the mattress and tumbling quietly to the floor, whispering illegible things under his breath as he went along.
He didn't stop until he reached the very edges of the carpet, the opening to the tent, where he seated himself cross legged. Jade eyes gazed out into the dim morning in a zombie like fashion, hand resting still in his lap. "I don't want to hurt to her.." He whispered over and over all the while the voice was laughing at him, whispering devious messages into his ears.
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Asanotohl was apparently a light sleeper, her bi-colored eyes opening as soon as the weight of the mattress had been taken. She watched the red male crawl to the tent opening, and a sudden fear leapt into her heart; he was going to leave. But instead, he stopped, sat there and murmured something that was incoherent until she listened closer. A soft frown came across her façade, and she sat up slowly, scooting to the edge of her mattress until her feet sunk into the plush rug. She stared at him a moment, lightly ruffling her already wild and disheveled black hair with a single hand. You won’t hurt me, Conri… she said softly, letting her hand fall into her lap with the other.
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His hand reached up after a moment, scratching at his ear, digging at his neck in a harsher fashion than he should have. Then she spoke, his hand froze, claws dug into his skin. The whisper stopped then, suffocated in silence, and he rocked forward once. "He'll hurt you." The whisper came again, spoke once, twice, over and over again until the point that silence hit again. His arm to the ground, trailing a small stream of blood with it, small marks that he had left in his own neck. His body shifted, easing him across the ground to turn and face her. His face was still, eyes full of worry and fright. Almost calmly, he leaned forward, and yelled. "He'll hurt you!"
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She shook her head, even though he could not see it, though as she watched, she could see that he had drawn blood. Worry slipped into her eyes, and Asa moved even as he had turned to yell at her. She winced slightly at his harshness, but did not stop as she dropped to her knees and edged forth, reaching a hand carefully for his neck. No, she said firmly, albeit quietly;. you won’t. She touched the mark he had made on his neck, covering it tenderly with her hand.
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Conri tried so hard to find the words to warn her, wanted so badly to see her turn and run, but no matter what he did they just came out as the same thing. "He'll hurt you..he'll hurt you.." It wasn't working though, she only denied it and came near, touched him. His hand was up in an instant, reaching for her arm to take a firm grip. "He'll hurt you!" He yelled again, broken and loud, fighting with himself. "Please go!" The voice was urging him on, telling him to grab her and throw her around, to take her and make her sorry that she hadn't listened in the first place. All the while, Conri fought the voice away, only growing more frustrated with every second that seemed to pass.
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Her grabbed her arm, and suddenly she didn’t see Conri, but she saw Quilas. The image faded nearly as quickly as it had come, and Asa quivered, closing her eyes tight against the nightmare she was sure to come. Had she tried to save Quilas from his insanity as well? Who is he? She asked very quietly, despite him yelling at her. Her eyes remained closed, as if it would all go away… as if Conri would come back. She took her other hand and held on to his arm, which was currently suffocating her own. Please, Conri… But she suddenly didn’t know who she was talking to.
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She was Naniko all over again, eyes closed tight and pleading with him, perhaps hoping that he would just disappear or that not seeing him there would mean he would just disappear. Conri knew though, the voice inside him knew, that she simply couldn't hide behind closed eyes. "I don't know." His voice dropped to a whisper, answering the question that had been asked to the best of his ability. Even he didn't know what it was, who it was. His father was the small voice in his head, whispering the devilish words into his hears, but the sad fact was that was simply all he could do. He could only whisper. Conri's actions were controlled by himself, whether or not he knew that.
He rose tall to his knees after a moment, pushing forward to sit up tall on them. He still had hold of her, fingers laced around her, pulling and pulling in an attempt to get her hand off of him, to push her back away from him. "I don't want to hurt you.." He was practically sobbing, teeth clenched tight and body coming forward, leaning farther toward her.
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As he shifted, Asa opened her eyes to him, watching as he pulled at her, bringing himself closer. I know you don’t… she said softly, looking up into his face placidly. She released his arm, and used this free arm to push herself up to her feet. She had to bend slightly, due to his grip on her other arm, but she stepped forward, her free hand touching his ear and sliding down his neck, gently grasping his mane. She looked down at him, kissing the top of his head gently. Do you remember last night, Conri? You made me happy… and I think I made you happy… if only for a while… If she could take his mind away, help him, save him… maybe everything would become clearer to him; maybe he wouldn’t fight himself.
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His heart was racing, pounding in his ears, roaring against the laughter. His skin hot, feverish, and it felt as if someone was ripping his insides in two. Were it not for the fact that he hadn't eaten in days, he might have lost it all right there, on heaving instead. She moved, touched him, and eyes followed her as she stood, watching her a moment. Finally, as she spoke, he leaned his head in toward her, pressing it against her stomach, closing his eyes. There were images in his head though, her stomach splayed open and hanging from a tree by her intestines. The sight frightened him, forced his eyes open, and he only buried his face harder against her.
His sobs and the thud of his heartbeat slowly drowned out the laughter, leaving an extreme headache in it's wake. Finally, after a few moments pressed up against her, feeling her touches, his hand released it's grip on her and fell dead to the ground. "I'm sorry.." Conri sobbed into her fur, arm coming around to hold her across the backs of her legs, not wanting to let her go.
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Conri pressed himself into her stomach, sobbing, dampening her fur with his tears. He buried himself into her, and cried, leased his very spirit, as well as his apology. Asa looked down at him and smiled, using her newly released hand to come and caress him gently, stroking his ears, his neck, his back. Then she curled her fingers into his mane, much like the previous night. Shhh, it’s okay, she cooed, rubbing him again. And no need to be sorry… you didn’t hurt me, Conri. I’m safe… we’re safe. She held him tightly now, using her fingers to stroke the back of his head lightly.
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Conri pressed his head against her leg, nuzzling at it gently, pacing his breath in an attempt to quiet the sobs that continued to leave him. His arm remained wrapped around one leg, fingers skating through the short fur there, rubbing back in forth in a manner that might have seemed as if he were trying to comfort her, even though he was trying to comfort himself. "I didn't hurt you?" He asked, this time just to make sure, shaking his head carefully against her. He had to make sure, had to be certain, because, had he not snapped back to himself while still in the room with Naniko, he may have never known what he had done to her.
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No, she murmured down to him in response, closing her eyes softly against the feel of his gentle, caressing touch. Shame befell her suddenly, and she frowned vaguely to herself; for how could she worry about such thoughts, when Conri was in so much pain? How could she be so selfish? Asa bent down again, aware of where his hand moved, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and cradled him gently, letting his subsiding tears wet her shoulder. You did good, Conri. You’ve won for now… She hugged him a bit tighter, lavishing his cheek softly with her tongue.
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"I don't mean to hurt anyone.." He admitted again, quietly, despite the fact that he was certain that she already knew that. He needed to reassure himself of it, to convince himself that he hadn't ever meant to hurt anyone at all. Conri had always been so afraid of ending up like his father, so careful of the things that he did and his view on life to ensure that it would never happen. In the end, though, he had failed and everything that he had worked so hard for had fallen through. Betrayal was a monstrous thing, one of the few things that Conri had ever faced in his life that he wound up not being able to handle in the end. He pressed his head in the crook of her neck, nuzzle at her fur, sliding his muzzle against her, and finally releasing his hold around her leg to bring his hand to settle against one of her arms.
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I know, I know. She licked his ear between words, biting tenderly into the fur of his cheek soon afterwards. I’m glad you’re strong enough, and you care enough not to hurt me, though… She smiled into the side of his face, offering him another comforting lick as her fingers trailed small lines up and down his back. I will never give you a reason to hurt me, Conri. I won’t drive you there… I want you to be happy.
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Conri wasn't sure what exactly it was that kept him from harming her, though he would have liked to figure it out. Perhaps it was the fact that he could hear her. The fact that the laughter hadn't overwhelmed his head to the point that it drowned out her words and even his own thoughts. While he might not have been rational, he had remained in control of himself, unlike the moments with Naniko when it seemed as if he were blacked out the whole time. "I can't be happy." He said finally, shifting his head so that it tipped upwards, staring up at her face a moment. "I don't deserve to be." There wasn't anyone in the world less deserving than him, he was certain.
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Self-incrimination seemed to be a forte of Conri’s, and she could only shake her head slightly at his words. Don’t say that, she said firmly, unwilling to coerce with such an attitude. Everyone deserves to be happy… happiness is a cure, a sure way to right your life. You can’t be happy hurting others, Conri; you’re so upset about it. Her hand stroked the back of his head, twiddling with his ears for a moment. Tell me something that makes you happy… concentrate on it, she whispered, tongue swiping against his muzzle as she looked into his sorrow-filled eyes.
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