The man lay in the form he was injured in, Secui, a great sigh coming away from his lips. His leg was in pain and an occasional whimper would sound from the still male. He was still fretting over the fact that he left Adonia yet again. He felt horrible. Ookami promised her that he would never leave her again, yet he did anyway. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say to her, but still, thoughts were formulating in his mind. She didn't deserve him, that he knew. But he wondered how she would react to him.
A deep breath was drawn in through battered lungs as he let out a little howl for Adonia. He needed to speak with her as soon as he could. He needed to get everything off of his chest. His pain was forgotten for the time being as he waited for his beloved.
A great eagle soar above her, he had begun to play with the wind now, his eyes watching the wolf woman below as a smile challenge the small corner of his beak that was able to be animated. He was hoping he was impressing her with his wind play. With a small motion of his tale feathers and a slight shift of his weight he went into an acrobatic maneuver as a call rang out through the winds. It was that new male, the one that had twisted the emotions of his companion. Looking down, he hoped the call didn't distract the attention of his wolf, but it seemed it had. Adonia let out a few whistle notes, and that was Theo's clue to tuck his feathers and dive down toward the earth. His speed inscreased, he was like a missile, but once he was at the right distance his wings came out slowing his decent and his legs outstretched latching onto her leather glove that was slipped over her left arm. Adonia handed him a chunk of venison, and Theo took it without hesitation. His challenging stare looked up to her and she smiled at him. Once his food was down he stood tall, his voice deep with frustration, "You missed my maneuver.." He said.
Adonia sighed, "...I'm sorry..." She picked up her training bag and began to walk toward the call of Ookami. "...why is he such a concern to you? Theo huffed outward. "..why is he your mate, he didn't seem to be around much from my understanding..and he doesn't seem too close to you either..." Her eyes narrowed onto him, "Theo...for a bird of few words, you seem to be talking a lot." He shut up and turned his head from her. "Follow from the skies..." she commanded, and with little hesitation Theo spread his wings and took off from her arm. He scouted a little ahead and he spotted the Secui wolf. His golden coat doing little to conceal himself in this summer weather, however, with little rain, he wasn't entirely a sore thumb.
Adonia made her way quickly toward his direction, and soon found the secui man that was her mate. Once within talking distance, Adonia spoke, "How are you feeling, Ookami? Healing any better?" She asked politely before scolding, "...you shouldn't really be out and about...your leg needs the rest.."
Adonia's voice soon reached his ears and they perked up with joy towards the sound of her. His golden eyes followed next. A warm smile caressed his face and the love for her shone in his eyes. "I'm feeling better yes." He could only laugh at her scold. "I seem to remember saying the same thing when you broke your leg." He winked at her as a smile came over his muzzle.
As his thoughts returned to his head and he was no longer actin like a love struck pup, his smile turned into something less happy. And love was traded out for pain in his sparkling eyes. "There is something I have been meaning to say. I left you again. And you have no idea how absolutely terrible I feel about it. There is no way to comprehend how unworthy I feel. And I'm wondering-" His voice cracked slightly and he took a deep breath and started again, "I'm wondering if you think it would be better for you if I just left forever." Tears sparkled in his eyes as he refused to look his beauty in the face. He loved her more than life itself and losing her forever would probably kill him. He bit his lip as he finally mustered enough strength to look at her. "I want... No, I need you to know that I love you so, so much. And you will always hold my heart, but I need you to tell me what you think is best for you. Because that is all that matters."
She saw a slight perk from her mate and a glimmer in his eyes as he smiled at her replying to her chastise. She was glad to hear he was feeling better, surely it had to do with the herbal remedies from Noah. Adonia smiled brightly, her eyes glimmer at his tease, and wink that followed. It made her feel warm inside to have him close again. Her anger and frustration almost forgotten as he continued to look so free and fun. Suddenly, though, things changed. The atmosphere feeling heavy and unwelcoming. His sparkle gone, and his voice changed.
She didn't like it, and almost as if sensing this, Theos came soaring down from the heavens and landing upon her shoulder, his eyes looking both at her and to Ookami. The swooping toward her was acknowledged by the way her ears swiveled back, but that could also be interpreted as her not liking the change in emotions that surrounded the mated couple.
His words caught her attention and she swallowed hard as he spoke. She picked out a few of his words and chewed on them, then she interjected here and there, "...you didn't really leave me...not like you had, at least....Ookami...you're not unworthy...what do you mean by that anyway?" Her voice was soft as she felt the pit of her stomach begin to ache. Was he going to leave her? Was...was he ending their relationship!? His voice cracked and her ears flicked forward quickly, as she stepped toward her secui mate. Then the words she heard "better, if I left you...forever.." It wasn't really what he said...but that is what she heard. Her breath was caught, the weight on her chest so heavy she couldn't think, breath, or move.
This was worst than Domonick disappearing...than when Ookami disappeared. At least, it left her mind wondering...this was fact, this wasn't a mystery.
She felt wrecked, and lost. Her eyes frozen in horror for a moment, then finally tears began to weld up like a rushing flood. Her muzzle left dropped open as she stared at him lost. Ookami spoke again, and she wasn't sure what to make of the words, they just fell on deaf ears, only a few making it through ...need...Love...you...much...tell...best for you...that matters...
Finally she began to move, more like swaying really. Her breathing seeming to come back to her. She was silent as she tried to bat back the tears with her eye lids. Her breaths more like gulps of air. A few sniffles here and there, but really she couldn't speak, and that was when Theo decided to step in, he hissed at Ookami. "How can you do this to her!? After all she's done, put up with!? I don't know who you are...but I'll tell you this: Adonia loves you, and I don't know why you think leaving her is best, after she turned down two males waiting for you...this Ookami... she shoulda just went with one of 'em...not that gray wolf...he's missing a leg..he'd be a useless companion.." Theo snorted thinking the last part out loud. Adonia's ears perked up noticing Theos talking about Noah. Her eyes widened and she looked at Theo hoping Ookami didn't pick that up.
She seemed happy, and he was debating on whether or not he should even say anything. However, of course he went against his better judgement, and the result was terrible. His eyes widened at Adonia's words, that's not true! I love you so much! he wanted to scream it at her. Not the bad scream, just so that she would understand. The birds' words buzzed in his ears. Two males? They had wanted his precious Adonia? He wasn't angry at them, wasn't angry at her. But he was furious with himself. How could he have let himself leave and allow Adonia to have other suitors? He let his anger clear through him and leave, all he felt was pain. Pain ecause the look in Adonia's eyes broke his heart into a million pieces. He shouldn't have said anything.
He needed to be close to her. But in his Secui form and her in her Optime form, he was going to have to shift. He didn't even care. His still healing leg would probably cause him so much pain, but he deserved it. He had t answered Adonia's question yet, but he would. He stood up, backing away from her and shifted. It took twice as long, and he gritted his teeth in complete agony the whole time. He let out one little whimper towards the end. But then it was over. He looked at Adonia, and without another blink of an eye he took the steps towards her.
He hadnt walked on his broken leg since it happened and he was amazed at how much it still hurt completely. His limp was tremendous, but he ignored it. He stepped directly in front of her. His hand reached out to the side of Adonia where the bird was not perched. He wrapped his hand around the side of her neck, using his thumb to lift her chin towards him. "No. I love you do much, so much more everyday. Each and everyday my love for you grows bigger and stronger. There is nothing in my life that I could ever love more than I love you right now. I'm not leaving. I'm asking if you want me to leave. I know you love me, and I know you know I love you too. But I disappeared again, and it wasn't fair. I want to know what you need me to do. I want nothing more than to stay with you, and try harder to be the best mate in the world to you. But I needed to know if that was okay with you. Afterall, anyone who knows me can tell me I'd fall apart without your input." A small, sad smile appeared on his face.
His second hand went to cup Adonia's other side of her face and he made sure he was lookin her in the eye. "Listen. Do you hear me? I. Love. You. And I never want to leave you again. Ever. I want to be in your life, I want you forever and always. I want to have children with you, to raise a family and give you the life you always needed and wanted." Tears were in his eyes as he watched her. As if to seal the deal, he kissed her lips tenderly and quick, the pulling back, he awaited her answer.
She looked at Ookami's eyes, and it almost reflected his thoughts. She sniffled back her tears and then shooed Theo who hissed even more angry. He didn't understand this, and he was almost glad to be out of it for now. Though, if that damn gold wolf hurt his master anymore he'd tear his eyes out. Theo flew from Adonia's shoulder to a nearby tree, perching himself on the low branch. It bent a little from his weight, but he didn't pay any mind to it.
Just as Theo left her side, she looked back to Ookami who was in the middle of doing something she knew was a big mistake. "Ookami!" She rushed over to him, but his change was already in progress, and she could see the pain and her was becoming more panicked, "You're going to cause more injury to yourself! Don't!" He was continuing it, and she just sat there unable to do anything. Her eyes closed tightly as she covered them with her hands. She was alerted to Ookami once more by his simple touch. His thumb pressed her chin up, and she looked at her handsome Ookami, his words cutting through her emotions and jumbled thoughts. He spoke, and some of it she wasn't sure she fully understood. It confused her. He was going to leave her, and now he was saying how much he loved her. But as soon as she tried to understand, he said he wasn't leaving, he was just wanting to know if she wanted him to, she stood and wrapped her arms around his body tightly, "Ookami! I don't want you to leave!" She pressed her face into his, her muzzle pointed down, the bridge of it pressed tightly into him.
He moved her, so he could could cup her face and move her head to look her in the eyes. They were glassy and sad still, but she was relieved. He asked if she was listening and she nodded sniffling again. His muzzle connected with hers, and it was as if it washed away everything. The connection of their lips made everything better, and he pulled away quickly waiting for something, and she knew what he wanted, "I understand...and I love you too...I want to be with you always, too. I really want a family with you too, Ookami....can..can we have puppies...next time?" She really wanted to have puppies. She never really vocalized it, but it was a little sad that she couldn't this year. Her heat was over, but next year she hoped he'd be around. She really wanted to have puppies.
The tightness her arms brought around his body warmed his whole soul. The words echoed in his head and it was as if he could feel himself relaxing. His arms wrapped gently around her, pulling her closer and squeezing her tight. He never wanted to let go. He held on as long as he could and what she said next brought the biggest smile he had ever held onto his face. "Yes. Of course, I would want nothing more, than to be a father to your puppies. I love you." His hand stroked Adonia's cheek gently as he stared into her eyes. His hadn't yet dried from the tears. They were still there, but for a different reason. Because he was happy, overjoyed, excited.
He leaned forward, pressing his forhead against Adonia's. He closed his eyes and breathed her in. "I'm always going to be by your side." He smiled as he kissed her one more time. He brought himself away from her and looked at the bird. He knew Theo hated him, but hopefully he would grow to like Ookami. He dipped his head at the bird, like he did to everyone he met, before finally looking at his mate. "I wrote a song for you. But my guitar isn't here. Think you could help me back to get it?" He grinned happily as he nuzzled Adonia gently.
Her tail wagged as his smile said it before his words did. He wanted to be a father, and most of all to their litter, but his words almost led her to believe, that if they were hers..well, no, she couldn't think of mating with anyone else other than Ookami's. Tharin found that out. Adonia was loyal, no matter what. It was close though, and Adonia couldn't help but wonder...if something did happen, and Ookami wasn't there, could she have the will to stop her instincts? Her ears went back for a moment as thought took over, but then she looked up to see Ookami look at her golden eagle. She smiled lightly, "...I haven't had the chance to introduce you two." She laughed a little, "That is Theo, a golden eagle I acquired from a woman near a city not too far from here...obviously, he's figured out who you are." She smiled more, "Don't take his anger personally, he doesn't like or trust anyone really. Well, except me...he's a little protective, but I kind of grown to like that..." She wasn't going to finish her sentence, she didn't want to hurt Ookami's feelings. She knew from her readings that golden eagles were powerful enough to take down and kill non-luperci...or luperci in their lupine form. She was sure he could do some massive damage to a luperci who thought he could take advantage of her.
Granted none of the wolves here really took advantage of her as she made it a point to say no, but if they had...she wasn't going to think about that. Ookami's voice broke her thoughts, and she looked up. "You wrote a song...for me?" Honestly, she didn't really know Ookami had wrote music. She had recalled him playing here and there, but she had never really heard him play full songs, or sing. It kind of made her feel unattentive. They were mates, and had been together for nearly two years and they really never spent quality time with one another. They played and sometimes flirted, and teased...but there was a lot they didn't know of one another. "..Sure! Let's get that guitar of yours.. " Her tail wagged as she moved to help him walk, "...I should make you some crutches, because you definitely shouldn't try shifting again!" she scolded firmly, "..if you dared I'd bite your ear off for not listening...obviously you won't need it if you're not listening..." She still scolded, a little jokingly.
Ookami smiled as Adonia introduced him to the eagle. "Well, it's nice to meet you Theo." He dipped his head again and smiled at him slightly. He didn't want to push it. Ookami laughed at Adonia, realizing too that there was still alot about him that she didn't know. And he thought for sure that there was things that he didn't know about Adonia. He nodded his head, "Yeaup. I sure did!" He chuckled lightly.
Ookami's ears layed back on his head as he grinned sheepishly. "I couldn't bear not holding you during that." The threat to bite off his ear made him laugh. "Oh please Adonia, I could totally take you." He smiled, "When I'm all healed, I'll show you." He grinned as he draped his arm around her shoulders. He wouldn't put all his weight on her, but enough so that the full amount of weight wasn't bared on his leg.
"I've showed the song to Tharin." He spoke as he walked slowly. "You two know eachother well?" He looked at her sideways. He seemed to know quite a bit about her, he wondered how much they hung out while he was away. She probably had made loads of friends. Ookami had a lot of catching up to do.
Theo, stood straight upon his limp branch like a king and looked down at Ookami, understanding every word he said. He finally nodded, but it wasn't without persuasion from his master. Her glare that was shot his way, she made it sure that Ookami wouldn't see her scowl that she shot to her bird. She looked back to Ookami glad he was kind to her stubborn and heaty headed bird.
She blushed at how enthusiastically happy he was at making her a song. All the more reason to get to that guitar of his. He must be so attractive singing and playing. She knew when he played, a rare sight, she could sit and watch him forever. He put a spell on her when those strings were played, she wasn't sure if he knew just how turned on she became when he played the guitar.
His threat back to her after he explained his shifting made her laugh and a light playful growl came at him, "Oh? Hmm, we'll have to see about that...I'm smaller, and faster than you, your lumbering giant." She playfully nipped at his chin. She wished he wasn't still injured, she had a strong urge to be as close to him as possible after such a traumatic conversation about possibly ending their relationship. She would be so shattered without her golden mate.
Their talk went back to his song and she perked her ears hearing Tharin's name. She kept at his pace making sure to keep him balanced. Her ears went back a little and she fell a little silent as he asked about her and Tharin knowing one another. She wasn't sure about his tone, if it was just light, or if he was wanting to know what kind of 'friendship' her and Tharin had. "Well...not really...we met a month or so ago..and hung out for a few hours...then we hung out again a few days after you'd come back..." Her cheeks were burning and a lump formed in her throat. Should she tell him? She couldn't hide it..it already was eating at her. Her jaws clenched and her eyes tightened shut. Suddenly, a heavy sigh came from her, "..the first time we met up...I was in heat...I can't remember who ran into who...and...we were just talking, I told him of you..and then we fished, and after I came out of the water, things seemed tense..and he...we..almost did something, I stopped it all though...I had to remind him of the fact I had a mate..." She couldn't look Ookami in the eyes..she couldn't even bare to look into his face. She was ashamed of it, her hormones almost got the best of her, and she felt so dirty for it.
The image of that day still burned in her mind, the way Tharin had touched her with his muzzle, how his paw came up. The tingle her body felt, the licks that he gave her back when she was in lupine form. Her body became hot at the thought, and she wondered...had it mattered who it was? Obviously, her mind knew the answer. Yes, it did matter, and it was why she stopped it.
Ookami laughed, "A lumbering giant huh? Well, it just makes it easier to pin you down." He laughed again, squeezing her gently closer to him as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm. He listened to her story about Tharin. His ears went back in confusion, trying to decide if he had heard her right.
His first reaction was to feel betrayed, but then he realized it was his fault. He had been gone, and if he had been here it wouldn't have happened. And he imagened that Adonia most likely felt betrayed when he was gone too. He stopped walking and turned her towards him. His left hand gripped her shoulder lightly as his right tilted her chin up to look at him. "Did he hurt you?" That is all Ookami cared about. If Tharin had hurt his Adonia, then there would be a price to pay for him. But if not, Ookami could only forgive Adonia because he knew it was the right thing to do. Nothing had happened, she had resisted because of him. And Ookami was grateful and happy for that.
Ookami was so silly, and that was what she loved. He was so easy going, and so when she spoke of her and Tharin, she wasn't sure if he'd explode. She had never seen her mate get angry. He was passionate, but it only showed in some things, like how he loved her, and how he played guitar. It surprised her as she saw no anger on the situation and her ears went back. In truth, she was almost disappointed, but why? Did she want him to do something, or say something? Her eyes were forced to meet his and she perked her ears. The question was another surprise, "...no...just made me question myself..." Tharin hadn't hurt her, if anything he made her feel attractive.
Her eyes searched his for a moment and her voice came out softly and with a lot of care behind them, "Kam...I love you, and I realize that when you're gone that you're the only thing I think about...and I have found ways to distract myself from you. Like raising and training Theos...but when Tharin wanted my attention, I flirted...but when it came down to doing more than just flirting, I backed away...I turned it down. That was when I knew that no one could have me like you do...you're the only one I want."
Ookami stared fiercely into Adonia's eyes as she spoke. He took in her words, slowly and graudally he understood them. He took in a deep, almost shaky breath and he nodded his head. He wasn't angry, but he was disappointed. More so in himself than Adonia. Also in Tharin, for he knew that it was not easy to control hormones around a woman in heat, but he should have left Adonia alone after finding out about him, and knowing about her heat. "Come on. Let's go get my guitar." He didn't say another word about what she had said. He didn't really want to talk about it. He would just beat himself up further for being gone, and he had already done that more than enough.
His body turned, once again walking towards the place his guitar would be located, leaning on Adonia for support. He tried to do it mostly himself, but his wound was still too fresh, and made even worse by shifting, that not one step went by without some weight being put onto Adonia.
Ookami replayed Adonia's words in his head again, and he knew he should say something about them. This time though, he didn't stop walking, just simply glanced sideways at her. "Thank you.. For not taking it further with Tharin. It really shows that my trust in you is true." His voice quieted and he nuzzled her face softly, "And you're the only one I want too. But I'm sure you already know that." A soft smile played on his lips as he continued to walk, waiting for a reply from his beauty.
Adonia was ready to get his guitar with him, she was done with talking about her and Tharin now. She wasn't sure how Ookami would handle this. He was acting not too upset, but how would he react to Tharin next time she sees him? Adonia remained silent and just helped him walk. After awhile of silence he spoke again, saying a thank you. To her it wasn't like she had done anything special in that situation. She shouldn't have flirted, but she was quite excited and wanting something...Tharin just had happened to be there in a time where she was weakest. Her ears went back as they continued to move forward, their temporary den just a little ways ahead now. "..you're welcome, but I'm sure it is nothing you wouldn't have done if you were in a similar situations...?" Her shades of blues looked up to him.
They got to the den, and she figured she'd help him sit once they entered the large opening, and hand him his guitar.
Ookami nodded his head when Adonia asked him the question. "Of course." His words were simple, yet held a lot of meaning behind them. He knew he would be able to leave a female alone if they were in heat. Sure he would have that desire, it was a natural instinct. But the first thing that he would think of would be Adonia, and that is when he would go on his way and leave whomever it was be.
Soon, the den was in sight and he was eager to get into it. He sat down, Adonia helping him and he smiled greatfully at her. He pointed to where his guitar was, "My guitar is just right over there. Can you get it for me darling?" He smiled as he waited for her to get it. Normally he would do everything on his own, but he was feeling so drained from shifting, like he always did. Except this time it was more, he had a broken leg that he shifted with, making him even more exhausted. Pain racked up and down his leg, but he ignored it. He would take some herbs for it later, for the time being, he could deal with the pain.
She smiled as he seemed to speak so confidently, of course it was the answer she expected. Still, her mate was loyal, more loyal than she. She still felt bad for flirting, and there was nothing she could do or say to make herself feel better. Hell, she was attracted to Tharin and it bothered her. Did she have a wondering eye like her mother? Adonia gave Ookami a small smile and brought him into the cavern and sat him down, her mind distracted by her shame. His words rang out to her and she flanced back up, eyes soft and with an air of sadness within them. She nodded and looked toward his guitar, following his finger.
She grabbed the neck and brought it over. She wished she knew how to play an instrument. She enjoyed drawing and sometimes when doing so she would pause critiquing her work, while doing that sometimes yet pencil would be making a fun beat? Was that music? She handed his guitar over and than sat across from him, silently waiting.
sorry for the wait<3
He grasped the guitar carefully in his hands and he strummed the strings a few times. He tuned the guitar slightly, and after he decided that the sound was good, he took a deep breath. His fingers played the song that he had been playing for such a short time now, but already it had become something he knew automattically. He kept his face down, watching his fingers, but only until he began to sing.
His eyes looked up to watch Adonia, while his fingers continued playing the music. "Yellow diamonds in the light. We were standing side by side. As the shadow crosses mine, what it takes to come alive." The lyrics just began and Ookami let himself feel the music flow through him. Some places his eyes would close and others he would just look at his gorgeous mate. We Found Love. That is what he called it. The chours said the title again and again, and he just sang what he felt.
Adonia and him had found love within Phoenix Valley. The "hopeless" part was the thought of all the bad things that happened throughout the time of living there. Jace's rape, the snowstorm, the rebuilding. Everything that had gone wrong, had made the Valley a hopeless place. But still, Ookami loved Adonia. And Adonia loved Ookami. Throughout it all. The inspiration for the song was easy.
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