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ooc:
Setting: Mild afternoon climate. July 3rd
Location: Communal Dens
Form: Secui
The past few days had been terribly trying, but none the less fortuitous. She had gained a charge in the midst of it and with Sira’s improving conditions, a brighter shining light was cast upon her days. Though in taking care of the young jackal, she made certain her other responsibilities were not shirked. Her remarking of the borderline was swift but always thorough, and ensuring the interior of the dens were swept clean and tidy had become a cathartic routine. It was unfortunate that hunting became a second thought on her daily tasks, but trusted the others to do well to pick up the slack. At least until her charge was ready to assume an active role alongside them. But she was patient and allowed the young one to take her time in assimilating. Afterall, the lands of Sangi’lak would be her home too and its Issor wanted to ensure she was comfortable and secure.
But that of course did not mean the woman could not have time to herself. Even with her chores completed and Sira for the moment occupied, she decided to stretch her legs and spend time with whom remained in the dens this hour. The scent of the pack was heavy but still individual scents were distinguishable. But what caught her nostrils was the bitter tinge of blood mucking the otherwise pleasant aroma. She needn’t place her nose to the ground to follow it, dragging impressive lengths of auburn locks in her wake. It was pungent enough to lead her without trouble to its source; the lone abode of her childhood friend. Her delicate nose barely crossed the threshold into his den before she was forced to jerk back and to save her olfactory sense from becoming smothered.
“Oh X’ies…” the she-wolf whined whilst bringing a heavy paw to her muzzle in emphasis to his offensive odor. It was all of course in good humor as it was made apparent but a light smile. “You smell…”
331 words.
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Current Objective:Observing meeting ---
Form: Lupus----
Mood: Sarcastic/Facepaw---
There had been a lot on the grey wolves mind lately. He had been doing his best to actually be a forward recognized member off the group. He wasn’t precisely what you would call the most social of individuals but he was following the rules and expectations laid out by the meeting. And that’s more than he could say for others. Of course his fur was still matted with blood from the hunt but he had been tired nd had put off cleaning himself. At least for the moment, there was a lot on his mind, mostly concerning the safety of X’y with the current Alpha Male in position. The main problem was that all of his links and lines of thought were all based upon evidence he had gathered from his own interactions, and the fateful encounter with the dog Amy. These whilst they were able to cause speculation towards the nature of the alpha were by no means concrete, and bringing them to light might damage relations within the pack even more for himself should he be proven entirely wrong about the entire thing.
And just as if she had been summoned by thought alone, the Alpha Female came toddling over towards him. Was she here to congratulate his recent hard work within the pack? And by her words, this seemed unlikely. She was just commenting on his current level of untidiness. ” Indeed, I was going to clean myself when I got up, finished a hunt and was tired…so I postponed cleaning till I was rested”. Despite her joking tone he felt as if he was explaining himself to her, after all one of the tenants of the pack was to keep oneself in a fit manner. The very fact he didn’t pick up on this humor in her tone might have indicated to her that his thoughts were elsewhere.
“ I suppose I should head to the lake then”
Said X’ies, standing and leaving his little hole in the earth. He would trod towards the exit of the communal dens. The thoughtful look still branded across his features.
Word Count:355
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ooc:
A good natured barb was more of what she was expecting than this softly compliant male before it. She had believed her words would be taken as a joke, not in such a literal content to inspire action. At what was worse that dampened her elated mood was that her dear friend did not sound like himself. Off in the distance rather than here in the present. Twas the voice of contemplation and thought. But what could enthrall his mind so deeply that he wouldn’t joke back with her, she wondered, watching silently with dwindling smile as the Lambda walked away from the dens toward the lake.
He had gotten a little ways from her before the she-wolf finally came to her senses and galloped after to catch up with him. The tone etched across his face was troubling to say the least. It was a look that made her heart hammer faster and churn her stomach uncomfortably. None the less, she came alongside him and in friendly gesture knocked her shoulder against his own, hoping to stir him from his thoughts. “I was only joking with you, Xies…” she whined softly and again nudged his shoulder. “You do not smell that bad.” As if to emphasis her point, she had every intention of burying her nose in his matted fur to show his scent was not offensive at all. But if not for that, then to offer another kind of distraction from his deep train of thought.
“But if you’d like, I could help you a little… or perhaps we could assist each other.” Taking a childish bound toward the lake, she stopped abruptly and shook out her own unruly mane. “It has been a while since I’ve come down to the lake myself. Do you remember when we were younger? Or times near the river?”
307 words.
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Current Objective:Walking and Talking---
Form: Lupus----
Mood: somber--
He hadn’t much expected her to follow him, although it seemed that she wanted a little bit of company. Was she like this with the others too or was it just him? There was that glint of playfulness in her eyes that brought him back to the days of their childhood. He began to think about it, and once again there was that feeling that he should probably let this line of thought drop. Put it in the corner, lock it in a box and not look inside. He had something on his mind, on the tip of his tongue, and he knew that if he spoke it the smile on that face would disappear. The same kind of feeling that had caused him to use a messenger all those years ago. ” Weakness”. Spoke his inner voice. Chastising him for giving into such simple things as emotion.
She spoke again of the past and his mask of thought was replaced by a mask of good nature. ” Oh, I remember”. He said, catching up to his friend. He shrugged her to the side as well playfully. ” As I remember it, you swam with all the grace of a drowning cat, and were equally displeased by its effect on your fur”. He looked up to the sky, for a moment that mask would slip, revealing thoughtfulness. ” I’m thankful for your patience with me”. He spoke slightly out of place, before looking towards the lake. Bounding off ahead.
Word Count:252
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ooc:
Of all the things to recall of their times by the water, it would be of her poor swimming skills. But it was that sort of chiding that brought a fuller smile to her muzzle, now seeing the dark shroud of thought lift from her dear friend’s brow. It was not rare that she came upon him in thought, even in their youth, but such darkness in his eyes she had never seen before. It caused her to wonder what had ensnared his mind so fully. What would change his usual mood to this grim feature? Though curiosity inched her lips apart to inquire, she thought better of it. Let the moment remain light hearted now that it had come to be.
“But I hadn’t swam before!” she exclaimed in her defense. “And I was never told it would be so heavy! You make it sound as if I intentionally dove in just to look like a fool!” But she had a feeling, this was not the case, but it was always fun to accuse him of otherwise.
As she bound for the lake, what graced her ears next nearly stalled her steps in shock. Her ears stood erect and tail went rigid. The hackles along her red stained ridge were pricked to fine points. She couldn’t have heard him right… for what reason did he have to say such a thing? Did he believe he was a chore to her? Difficult at times yes, but never would she view him like an obligation. She was motivated to move again to correct this assumption as he bound forward toward the lake. Her long limbs worked in time to lessen the gap between them. With a swift recoil then extend of her powerful legs, she pounced for her friend’s back to drag him down to the ground just as they reached the lake. “You are my friend X’ies,” she proclaimed in mid-pounce, trusting her paws to make their mark. “I take you as you are…”
334 words.
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Current Objective:Heading to wash ---
Form: Lupus----
Mood: Neutral---
From behind a weight descended upon him a weight that unfortunately in this form was not one that he could bear on his back. Forced to the ground by his childhood friend her turned to face her and the smiling acceptance that she brought to the table. Unfortunately this situation was not as joyous as it could have been, there were many ideas floating around in his mind, most of which circled around worry and doubt, whilst these emotions were linked to his thought processes they were nary linked to a one. Many of them shared this complex cocktail of feelings, but primarily the point on his mind was ” Why do I feel like this?”. He wasn’t used to the feeling of acceptance, and that in itself provided some sort of calm certainty to his life. He existed without colour, but in his gray there was a sense of peace, a sense of established order around the chaos.
” I see, as I am?...well that’s a tall order I say…”.
Twas the closest thing that X’y would probably get as a thanks from the gray wolf. There would be a few moments of awkward silence, staring at her with his piercing eyes, eyes that perceived truth beyond deception. ” Best get off. Otherwise you too might get stinky!...now come let us get to the lake so I can watch you flounder”. He fell quiet again after this seeking to right himself from his larger companion, he wondered if indeed this would be a good time to talk about such things. Doubtful, it would ruin the moment. One could not always bury his head in the sand, but for a time. He would permit it.
Word Count:305
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ooc:
It was there again... the look of thought. Though it was not unwelcomed, it bothered her to see this shroud burden his brows when they were better off enjoying the day given to them. Even if it was for bathing. She had downed her friend with every intention of starting up a little game between them, to perhaps lessen the tense air that seemed to be suffocating the mood. But his piercing gaze held her back. Though not unkind it warranted her attention. Was everything alright with him? Or was this thought of his so deep he could not be rid of it outright?
Again the question threatened to burst from her lips and again she was kept from making a serious situation out of a supposed fun one. To his suggestion, her tail came to life behind her and she rose off of him without contest. "I'll show you 'flounder'", she taunted without having the slightest idea what the word meant. All she cared about was that he was initiating their bonding time.
Without further distraction, she bound for the beckoning crystal surface and did not stop til her paws were graces by its gentle lapping. It was cool to the touch at first, sending a pleasant chill down her spine initially before she brave the brief cold and slipped into the shallows, pushing through the resisting liquid until she stood about chest deep. Like a pup on its first excursion, she giggled madly, tail swaying and all splashing water every which-way led by the stream of her tail.
260 words.
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Current Objective:Heading to wash ---
Form: Optime----
Mood: Neutral---
As she bounded off into the water presenting him with the challenge, his maw twitched, indicator of an accidental slip of the mask. A true moment of amusement. When she reached the water he began the process of shifting his form, it would take some time to complete but would ultimately make it so that washing the blood off was much easier. Honestly he loathed this form; in fact all forms bar Lupus he found as semi degrading. Whilst true physically he was more adaptable, stronger in these forms. It lacked the stream lined nature of his Lupus form, the stealth, the dexterity. He preferred those things over true raw power. But, opposable thumbs came in handy now and again. He would follow his child hood companion into the water’s edge once his transformation was complete. Again, twas not something that one saw every day. X’ies in another of his forms was a rare treat.
“ I fear that no matter how well you teach me, I will always be the humble student, and you the experienced master”.
He let out a formal bow combined with a grin before advancing further into the water, splashing at X’y as he did so. The water was cool, refreshing and the activities enough to take his mind away from the darker and more focused places they had been at only moments earlier. He would sink himself down, bringing his head to her level. Splashing at her again. ” What do you think am I doing it right?”
Word Count:280
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ooc:
The mind of a Lambda as she recalled was far too complicated for her to comprehend, and the mind of her friend was more so. But there were moments in their interactions where the face of complication slipped away and there was a kind of simplicity the both could share. It was often a treat found in their childhood and a craving to have it once more began to grow.
She waded patiently in the shallows for him to join her, no doubt with a pin-point observation how she was not actually swimming or bathing but standing, but found herself surprised that instead he assumed his least liked form. Both ears and tail perked in interest even as she was splashed and scampered back a little to avoid further 'damage'. Well now, what brought this change on, she wondered but was none the less pleased to see it. As he came down to her level she swiftly reared back on her hind legs then abruptly slapped her paws on the water's surface to splash him. "Oh my!" she giggled with her voice hitched higher in taunt. "Me the teacher?" She splashed him again then drifted further back into deeper waters. "Next you will call me Shepard and then I wont know what to do!"
As she backed further out into the deeper blues, she sank rather sudden as if grabbed by some unseen entity. What remained of her presence were a few strands of auburn mane but soon they too disappeared below the surface. The seconds ticked by painfully slow nearing a minute at best. Then the surfaced was breeched by a maw gasping for breath. She could not yet stand as her lower half was still in mid transfiguration but once complete, she stood at her fullest height, neck deep in the waters. With a little less grace than desired, she clawed for the shallows and in turn, her friend. When the resistant waters rested just below her waist, she lept for X'ies with the intentions of dragging him down again, this time into the shallows while exclaiming. "This is your bath, student!"
354 words.
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Current Objective:Heading to wash ---
Form: Optime----
Mood: Neutral---
The play was….just as it had been all those years ago. As she descended under the waters, it was like his own mine was dragged back. X’ies Lambda, the stone that parted the waters, solitary, steadfast. Without knowing a grin had appeared on his maw as he moved about the waters carefully, the ripples and currents below, change in them would give him an indication of her location. But interestingly enough, there was none, she was sneakier than she seemed. And then before he had the chance to react came her pounce, mid change. X’ies fell backwards in surprise into the water. An embarrassing situation if nothing else, he spluttered slightly, instantly reminded of the first time he had went swimming. It had been cold, very cold, yet he was pushed n by his mentor. That in itself was supposed to be a lesson. Whilst the warriors were taught to be hard, Lambda’s needed to be malleable like the water.
Capable of moving when required from flow to flow, warm and cold as the situation allowed. And if required, hard as stone. What did it mean to be him? What did it mean to be any one of his family? That question was left hanging in the air as he commented to X’y. ” Well it would appear, I may have just surpassed you master”. He said, rubbing some of the water off his face as he brought himself back up to face his female companion. His head tilted to the side as his mind, now cleared of their woes returned to normality, to the base mechanical ticking of his clockwork logic. ”…Why have you never had children?”
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ooc:
And the precision strike of an Exultare never ceased to fail. Dragging him down into the water she briefly claimed her victorious pose on top giggling madly at her success before his movements beneath her compelled her to rise. She was reminded of their path, the joyous times of pups the more she laughed in his presence and experienced those like emotions she had had before. The only difference was that they were much older now, burdened by the weight of responsibility and the never ending quest for purpose. Moments like these the treasured where for a time the troublesome thoughts that came with age were forgotten and they could simply rekindle that childish spark they were unceremoniously robbed of by time.
Rolling off him, she waded in the shallows and allowed him to regain himself before she prepared another kind of assault. It was all fun and games... but there was of course a purpose for them coming here. She looked fondly to her grey companion, rolling her eyes when she had a full look at his unruly mane. Heavily matted and tangled as if he had never bothered to comb his claws through it once. Her eyes portrayed a soft reprimand for his state but it would soon disappear once he was groomed. Yet something more changed the look in her eyes and for a moment stilled her movements in the water.
Of all the things to ask her...why this? Above finding an appropriate answer, her mind wondered this for the sake of keeping her emotions controlled. The once calmed heart began its rampant beating in her chest drawing out a pain she had not felt since the loss of Salvador... and in turn, her mate. Why would he ask her this... because they were acting no different than children now? It was uncalled for...so hurtful... X'yrin did not know where to begin. "Oh..." was all she could muster immediately. Then a pause fell between them as her gaze drifted from her friend to the water as the transparent surface would grant her an answer.
"...it is not as if I haven't tried."
Finally collecting herself she breathed deeply and resumed a kind of calm. As she spoke she moved to be behind her friend and gently grasped at a fistful of unkempt mane. "It may be hard to believe, but I had a mate a little over a season ago," she offered lightly. "We tried to have children... believing it would be a permanent example of our love for each other... but it never happened." Again, she tugged at his mane then slipped her claws through the matted mess and began the process of detangling. "Once I only mirrored the effects because another female of the pack was carrying. And the second, the same occurred because I was looking after many pups at one time. ...and the third...well... I supposed the ancestors believed it was not to be. I was not well and overworked carrying for both the pups and new mother..." mildly, she picked at a knot until it was untangled. "as I said... it was not meant to be... But do tell me, have you managed to sire any children since I've been gone? No doubt they have adopted your alluring charm..."
547 words.
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Current Objective:Heading to wash ---
Form: Optime----
Mood: Neutral---
As they washed, it seemed that his words had a more profound effect on her than had been anticipated. Then again that was part of the game, to strip away the parts beneath to learn the truth. But did he really need to do that in order to see the truth of his friend? The moment he asked she gave him an answer and it seemed an honest enough one. Particularly considering that her taking a mate outside of the nomads would have been a huge no no back home, perhaps she thought they were past such things. Or perhaps it was just that he saw no use in lying to him with her tongue when his mind picked apart such things naturally.” It does explain the weak members of the pack and your protectiveness of them…”. He would say, thinking aloud.
Though more amusing to him was her assumption that he had sired children. Whilst it was formed in a question the last was meant in a way that seemed a likely yes, and in the world of hyper fertility there was a high chance that any mating could have that desired effect. ” No”. He would answer first bluntly. ” I have no children, for simply put I have never mated”. Perhaps to most males the admittance of their virginity would be a difficult thing, twas not so much for X’ies, the idea of being a virgin to him was not something that was all too difficult. He didn’t consider himself pure, nor did he consider X’y tainted for having indulged in such weakness as love.
To X’ies it was merely a case of practicality, he wasn’t drawn to mate with any active female to such an extent that he would drop all things and just do it. Nor was he drawn to mating in the sense of “love”, love he saw was an emotion invented by the psyche to lull two genders into propagating their species and ensuring its continuation.( Love between two partners to create life, love between family to protect it) Again, with X’ies logical look on life , love had no place to him. He was not tempted to mate, therefore he was not tempted to love.
” My energy has always been better spent elsewhere, and…if I am to pass on my genes I would prefer it be with a female in which my childer would see the maximum potential”
Again, logical. Practical.
WC:433
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ooc:
She expected nothing other than his logic, despite how unforgiving it sounded to her ears. Just as she had, they were born into a pack that did not now the connections of love or felt the need to establish it beyond what one felt for their pack. To embrace such an idea of loving a single individual had been exciting and new. It opened a door she was more than willing to walk through without carrying the weight of regret. It had brought her such happiness and also such pain. She had felt jealousy, betrayal, a longing for more coupled with the devastation of its loss. She knew of it now and pitied her brethren for not knowing its effect nor being allowed to speak of it profoundly. And to her dear friend... she pitied him as well.
Methodically working through his mane, she was finally able to reach the top of his head and work through the matted clumps there. As they loosened under her touch, she was at last able to run her claws through the damp mane without a tangle coming into play. And though she was in essence finished with her task, she continued to comb her claws through.
"Of course you would think like that," she laughed softly to his logical outlook. "At times I forget whom I talking to. But what brought this on, my friend? Have you decided to finally sire pups of your own? A female with 'maximum potential'?" It wouldn't have been a strange idea, but as she said the words aloud, she thought back to how she had seen her friend before. Quiet and contemplative, as if pondering deeply on a troubling thought? Perhaps he had found someone of interest but did not know what to do... "...is this what had you in thought Xie's?" she inquired carefully, letting all manner of joking drift from her voice as she continued to comb through his mane.
325 words.
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Current Objective:Heading to wash ---
Form: Optime----
Mood: Neutral---
Grooming, this just wasn’t something he was used to. Cleaning himself yes, grooming himself no. Other people grooming him? God no. Although she seemed to recognize in her voice just what he was talking about, he had never mated simply because to him it was illogical to do so, and thankfully he had escaped the Nomads before they had forced such things upon him; and they would have. Which lay to question just what X’y would do when mating season came and X’ies sought not to take on a mate because none were worth his time? He imagined punishment, probably harsh punishment. Although…her next line of questioning laid out an entirely different path. One that X’ies hadn’t suspected her to arrive at. It would seem that his friend had noticed his contemplation earlier concerning her and her safety. About just how dangerous it would be to start discussing certain things with her about her fellow pack mate. But it seemed that she had linked this conversation with that and led It to…
” Does she think I’m attracted to her?”
It was an interesting thought to say the least, X’y was strong and whilst her mental capabilities did not match his he didn’t think that was down to inherit genetics but rather due to the differences in how they had been brought up. He had trained his mind, she her body. Indeed if there was to be one she was a suitable candidate, but till this moment of mentioning, it had not crossed his mind. However, she was a creature who had experienced love, and X’ies in his pitiless logic could not give her that even if they were to join. Purposefully he would neither confirm, nor deny her suspicions. ” There is only one female in the pack”. He stated, at this point having no prior knowledge of her run in with the Jackal ( and for the sake of continuity that shouldn’t be mentioned either).
" And she does not belong to me"
Word Count:327
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ooc:
Despite the topic of conversation, she continued to work through his mane with the same rhythmic strokes of her claws. Carefully assessing each separated section while doing so, then carefully drifted down to his matted shoulders. From there, she began picking through the knots and clumps of dead fur and whatever debris was caught in it. Whilst doing so, she sighed softly with ears performing the unmistakable dance of vigilance.
A silence had fallen between them as her companion boarded his train of thought and rode it toward some unknown destination. Knowing him as well as she did, it wouldn't be for long, and just as suddenly as he had drifted to silence, he would provide a well calculated response. She had learned not to look at this factor with annoyance, but understanding. This was how he was, and this was how she accepted him.
As she unmatted one shoulder and moved to the other, she spoke at last, drawing her ears forward earning her full attention. She had a mind to correct him as there were now two females in the pack. Though only one that was able to breed while the other recovered from her personal trauma. But had he assumed she was talking about herself? She said nothing of this of course and instead listened on as he inhaled in preparing to speak. Her dexterous fingers came to a sudden halt on his shoulder. Her ears still resounding the cold, logical sound of his voice.
"She does not belong to anyone..." she needn't think upon these words to voice this truth. Had he known the extent of love, he would have known that one being does not belong to another. But bonds that tether two together were earned and forged by and understanding with the other. Bonds she had ignored... for fear they were now beyond her grasp. Since Thana had left his life, the golden female had yet to talk with her fellow leader with how it had affected him. A distance had steadily grown even if it was not physically apparent by their interactions, it was there. And the void had instilled in her some doubt as to what remained of their relationship. Had he loved her so much that her departure had crippled him so? ...had she interfered with something more?
Slowly her claws drifted from the back of her companion as her ears too fell and her head lowered. Truly, the Lambda knew just the topics to get her thinking...even if the thoughts were painful.
422 words.
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Current Objective: Wash wash wash ---
Form: Optime---
Mood: Curious-
Her response was interesting enough, though it kind of gave him the right idea about just how serious this little talk of theirs was. He didn’t normally hear her voice take on such tones. He wondered if something between her and Jaden had already occurred, yes chances are it would make sense that was the case. ” Ah, well those are words to think about”. He would reply however much like his other words these ones would carry a dual meaning. He said they were words to think about, but then he never did say just who was the one that was going to think about them, him to consider perusing that course? Or her about just how she portrayed herself and Jaden to the rest of the pack, looking down at the crystal clear water once again he would let loose a torrent of his own thoughts.
” You are my alpha, and unless I am reading it incorrectly…your counterpart and you had some sort of romantic tension going on, I had always assumed that you were mating”
He said to explain his previous point. “ If this is not the case, then perhaps we can come to an agreement during Winter, however there is much time between now and then”. In truth X’ies had little interest in “ spreading his oats” as it were, but she was a prime candidate if there ever was one, and the fact she was the packs alpha would fully cement his climb to power. That and….finally…she was his friend, perhaps his only friend. The only one who did accept him for who he was. Poison and all, though the way he would put it across would again be a simple testament to his own lack of knowledge concerning the world of love.
” Other agreements may seem more satisfactory to you in the future”
By which of course he meant. Males; it was not said in a jealous or, dissatisfactory tone. Rather just as if he was pointing out a matter of fact, like a business owner discussing a better chain of goods.
WC:354
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ooc:
Comfort could be found in logic, even if it was an unfeeling concept. It provided a certainty that came with thought. Undeniable and absolute... often provided a path to embark without a sense of regret. She could gander a glimpse at this rare kind of comfort but could not wholly see why he partook in it so fondly. Perhaps had she been born a Lambda, she would see through his eyes and know. But then if she had, their relationship would have been no different than her interactions with any other of her family. Routine...mundane...far from extraordinary.
But his logic as it stood now was so insufferably humorous, she did not know where to begin to explain where he was wrong and where he was right. She could only laugh at it all. Her body trembled as she sounded her genuine laugh laced with a bitterness offered solely to the concept of fate. And when he spoke of an agreement, she about lost her sense of self, falling into fits of laughter so much that she was rendered down onto the banks of the lake by her own boisterous tones. It was so logical and sound... too reasonable to be a farce offered as a joke to place her at the end of. She knew him to be an honest male and knew that his words now were offered as genuine. And the thought of it only made her laugh harder.
And gradually, her voice quieted to stifled giggles that had long lost their alluring ring and were replaced with a hollow sound, unbecoming of a woman often perceived as happy. And when her voice portrayed true life within it again, it was in pain. A pain that reverberated with each painful intake of breathe and each shaky exhale as she tried to collect herself to keep herself from weeping. "X'ies..." his name was a whispered on her lips as she left her muzzle rest on top of his shoulder and her damp arms wrapped around his chest. More for herself, than for him, she help onto him dearly with selfish impulse to leech whatever strength she could from him to keep her from falling apart.
"I damn the Nomads for hiding away the experiences of love... and I pity those that will never know what it is. If you know of it...if you had felt it for yourself X'ies... even briefly, you would not come to me like this with your 'agreement'. You would know how painful those words are..."
421 words.
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Current Objective: Wash wash wash ---
Form: Optime---
Mood: Curious-
He wasn’t sure why she was upset by him. Though he stood there as she gripped onto him for dear life in that emotional display. She was in pain, she was looking for something from him, something to indicate that he cared, this much he deduced. When she had started laughing, he had first thought that she found his offer amusing, though it quickly became apparent that it was a “ I either laugh or I cry” moment. And the laughter didn’t last that long. X’ies didn’t see what was so upsetting about the agreement, it was natural, nae even normal for their kind. Was this what love did to a person? Is this how weak it made them? If she pitied him for not having felt such a thing, then he pitied her for having felt it. In his grey, there was no light, but equally nor was there darkness. He existed in a state that excluded love and happiness, but because it did equally the converse side of the coin. Despair and self-loathing too had no place in his world. If one had to endure one to experience the other, he was more than content to do without.
He simply stood there as she gripped onto him. Looking down at her with confusion in his eyes, an almost childlike look that seemed to say “ I do not understand”. But of course, he didn’t; his experiences of such emotions were merely based upon his manipulations of other peoples. He was quite simply dulled to them, he had never sought love. Never experienced it, and now here he was seeing the results of it and he was shocked, stunned. The woman who had been laughing and playing only moments before reduced to this by the effects of a word. A feeling. And as his arms came up slowly, finally to comfort the female, holding her head with a hand to his shoulder. His mind began to consider these thoughts of what this emotion was.” I apologize if my words caused you pain…but what you say is true, I have never felt it…nor have I ever placed myself in a situation that would bring it about”. The thoughts encompassed him, the consequences of it….what it could do…
…and quite frankly…it terrified him.
WC:384
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ooc:
The dam holding back a great deal had been broken, but her weeping was silent and without tears. Had she allowed herself to fully embrace these emotions and cry, her tears would have been wasted on a soul that could not understand how his words effected her.
But she knew him too well and could not find fault in him. It was simply the way he was, to point out the logical, to take his steps through reality with cold precision. Any would call him heartless, unfeeling... but she knew even in their youth that this was not the case. He felt when he needed to. Experienced what was necessary for the sake of bettering himself. It was no different than the Exultare sharpening their skill through combat and relentless training, forgoing all else for the sake of their own betterment. She could not call him cold, nor cruel. Just as he was; himself. And in his own way, she felt in her heart that he meant to do well.
Reminding herself of this, her quiet weeping ceased as she looked to her friend with a soft smile. The pain of his words were still etched across her face but as the seconds slipped by it melted away. "Regardless of its complications," she sighed softly while bringing a clawed hand to comb back the damp bangs from her eyes, "you should make yourself open to it at some point. It may cause a weakness in you... it may even hurt you. But like all else, it makes you stronger... and if nothing else... it gives you something to strive for. A motivation to protect and watch to keep the recipients of that adoration whole and safe. Even though we were never allowed to explore its extent, our Shepards cared for us in the same way. And our ancestors care for us just the same... else... they would not have become a part of our lives..."
325 words.
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Current Objective: Wash wash wash ---
Form: Optime---
Mood: Curious-
Was that an invitation? She tried to explain her logic about letting such a painful thing into his life, but he did not see it. Nor did he wish for it. Though this was clear to him now that she was again, different to him, she sought children as a means of allowing this emotion to take hold and she could not do thusly without it. X’ies on the other hand….”…Perhaps….though to allow those complications into my life would place us all in danger….I am no fighter….my mind is my weapon….and if it is to be clouded like that…I dull myself.....but...if I did would you?..”. Ultimately it came down to the fact that he saw love as some kind of blunting to his weapon. But as he finished her sentence he found himself drawing closer to her. Instinctively, without thinking.
It was as if there was to be a kiss to be shared, and right as it was about to occur. His face moved to the side, avoiding it assuming she reciprocated the point. ” Perhaps when I can afford it, but…the price it bears is too costly…For the sake of the family…I must remain as I am”. With that he would back away from his female companion. And move to leave the water. Quoting an old Nomad saying that reflected all the families within the collective. ” I need no shield, my will is my defense….I need no sword…my body is my weapon”. He would stop for a moment then look to the sky. Then back at her, as if to see if she remembered what came next, a cue for her to follow on. The line which exemplified himself. His ways….
WC:280
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