Mindless Killing [Hunt]

Jaden Ohanzee · 07-12-2012, 05:32 AM

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That's right! Jaden = UltraMASTERofRAMBLING! PGP + 10 Words - 1000+

What seemed like a normal day shown now down on Sangi’lak. For all reasons save those personal to an alpha, the day was perfectly normal. The birds sang, the animals stirred, his prey meandered about carelessly. Only, his thoughts were completely distracted. They drew away from the hunt for he had let them wander. The mind behind his blue eyes was trained to dull thought, dull pain, to toss away what truly made him what he was. It was a necessity for a killer. Conscience only dealt pain when innocent blood was spilled. Morality bread personal loathing when death was given to one who truly didn’t deserve it. No, he wasn’t this killer anymore. He truly hadn’t been for what felt like a lifetime now. But that didn’t rid him of the skills or that trained ability to avoid pain.

Jaden scented the ground for his prey of choice. She was closeby.

It was a bit shocking to realize that he had been wandering for weeks on a sort of autopilot. He ate, slept, hunted, and even socialized but it all felt hollow. It was as if he had been acting a part and had let some of his true self be stuffed away. That piece he used now, the part of him that analyzed itself and looked for places to improve not just in skill but in character as well, it had taken plenty of time and a ruff jarring before falling back into place. This suspension of self was a defense mechanism against pain and one he had been aware of before this day. Today was just the first time he had realized how dangerous this act could be.

While he located the deer, he thought back on the days that had passed him by. What had he truly accomplished? He’d met Sira and Rain, helped his pack hunt, and dealt with X’ies. These things were all physical actions. What was concerning was how he felt about it all. He felt… nothing. Sure a little pride at seeing the pack kill together, some pity for little Sira, or the dislike that still held firm for X’ies, but those were just things that floated like the oily film of a bubble around an empty center that was Jaden’s heart.

The lone female deer came into view where she was surrounded by trees and grazed idly. Now was the time for strategy, but still his mind stayed occupied.

The deepest emotions in him still held substance. His dedication to the pack kept him occupied with chores. His love for X’yrin kept him smiling around her and happy to share a den with his Alphess. But what had been missing from him left noticeable holes when he looked back now. The pack was there but he hunted for members he hardly knew. They were all just acquaintances. He hadn’t even really pursued a relationship with Alistair yet. What kind of a leader leads strangers? Perhaps he exaggerated this neglect within the judgmental confines of his own mind, but there had to be some truth in these thoughts.

Jaden charged for the deer and it easily turned and fled. But he had the advantage of agility in the dense forestry.

But what of X’yrin? He loved his fellow leader dearly and she loved him. Or, at least she had loved him in a way that dwarfed the simple bonds of friendship. All doubt in this started with Thana. The tall, dark woman whom had also taken claim to his heart still had him flinching away from the memories of her. She had made love complicated and painful before leaving. In her absence, he was still only left with complicated, painful love and a reassurance that he had hurt the woman who chose to stay by his side. Then his other doubts in her, his irrational fears that she would leave him for the Lambda or the call of her old family. Now they were growing apart. They still shared words, still looked fondly upon each other, but he knew not of what she truly felt. Their conversations had become actions of necessity, much like everything else in his world.

The doe ran as fast as her fearful limbs would allow, but she was eventually caught by Jaden’s endurance and persistence. Secui jaws lunged forward and seized one of her graceful back legs between sharp teeth broke it mercilessly. The deer tumbled forward on the useless limb and he swept in low for the kill.

This speed was nice to have again. His ability to change is what had finally helped provoke his mind into its recent trains of thought. Something about beings stuck on two legs had helped alienate him from the rest of the pack. That barrier was gone now and so was his desire to be numb. He had two choices that he could see: continue on this path and grow further estranged from his family and beloved friend or wake up and deal with the pain of guilt and loss he was hiding from. Thana was gone and nothing would change that. Similarly, nothing would undo the damage to X’yrin. He remembered his own words from the meeting with X’ies: “Any good leader knows to look to the future.” He didn’t like the future that this present lead to. It would change. It had to.

The flavor of sweet blood on his tongue finally snapped Jaden away from his thoughts. He was latched around the doe’s throat as it struggled to get free. He could feel its heart beating and pressing warm crimson against his gums. The deadly black jaws of death squeezed relentlessly until the doe’s last movements flicked from her limbs and her heart beat no more. All his thought would now be concentrated on the kill. It needed to be skinned and preserved right away. But the seeds of change had been planted. He could no longer walk about without squashing the delicate growth. Now it was only a matter of action, a matter of time, and a matter of questioning what he would do first to save his future.

Jaden does. Jaden speaks. Jaden thinks.

#00+

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