Consideration
#1
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The golden warrior walked quietly over the Dampwood's carpet of needles, staring listlessly ahead of him. His conversation with the man called Asmodai was in his head, and he couldn't get it out. It was the next day, and he still didn't know what he wanted to do. This one was so much different from the last, and while that should have pleased him, it only made him less decisive about the whole situation. He was given time to decide how to handle this, but where he could usually remain level-headed, he was struggling to make the logical decision.


Asphyxia kept popping into his mind. How could he just rush out there with her in his mind? This new adversary seemed uninterested in her, told him that his loved ones were safe, so why didn't that make this all easier? The weight of worry should have been lifted from his shoulders, he was brave enough to handle these situations, he had done so so many times...what was it about this time that felt so wrong? He needed to talk to someone...this was where he usually found Asphyxia, he hoped he would see her today.

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#2
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      Yay. (= Slight power play, I can edit if you'd like.
      The last few days Asphyxia wasn't feeling quite herself but she ignored it. She wanted to see Skoll today, but she didn't know where he would be so she was counting on somewhere around the woods. Ever so quietly, she looked around and was wondering that maybe he wasn't there today, even though they had been spending much more time together than usual and this was usually where they met. Switching over to her Optime form made her feel weak, but she loved being able to cuddle into Skoll, being able to hold his hand or hold his face in her hands. As she kept going deeper into the woods, she could barely pick up his scent, and she followed it out to exactly where he was. Asphyxia's black fur had been turning a little more grey however it was only streaking thankfully so she still had time before it was finally going to be turning just grey.

      Red eyes absorbing everything around her, realizing that he was finally in front of her, she gave him a smile, walking forward and wrapping her arms around him. However, she only just realized that he seemed tense and everything that he never usually felt. Her head was on his chest, “What's wrong love?.” she was kind of worried about him because now as she looked up at his face, she could see the worry in his eyes.


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#3
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Dramatic!

He looked down on Asphyxia grimly, before wrapping his arms loosely around her. How would he say this? What was there to say? He'd been given time to think, and the thinking was turning out to be a curse. The dishonorable man who had kidnapped the woman in front of him hadn't given him time to think, he'd give chase immediately, and the battle had ensued the minute he'd arrived. This new adversary had the same intention, but had gone about it very differently. This should have made him happier, should have meant less worrying, but somehow, it didn't.


"The man I killed...I met his partner, Asphyxia. There were supposed to be two wolves waiting to kill me last time." Silence. How was he supposed to go on? The things that were clawing at him were immaterial, ideas that he had difficulty grasping. He was brave enough to fight, and good enough to win, so why did he feel this way? "He says that he wants to fight me, alone; that he won't hurt anyone else, that he won't hurt you. They came here to kill me, but this next one wants a duel, not an ambush. He told me to come to meet him in ten days' time." Why am I so bothered?

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#4
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      ooc
      Asphyxia awaited what he had to say. However, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear them after actually hearing what he had to say, “What? You can't...” she didn't know exactly what to tell him, what to do at this point, “What if something happened? What if he's lying to you and he really means to ambush you?!” her heart was racing and panic was in her every word. What would happen if he'd lost? If he died on her. Asphyxia wouldn't be able to go through someone else leaving her. She held onto him tighter, not sure she'd be able to let him go now. Why all the fighting?

      Quietly Asphyxia looked up at him. She had become so attached to him in the time they had been together. It was hard to accept that he just might want to fight in this duel. “I'm sorry...” she said after a moment of silence, “I just... don't want you to get hurt again.” she looked down, beside her, at the ground and then looked back up into his eyes. “We can leave, if it's a possibility for you... just run and never stop until we get far enough away. I'll do that for you.”
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#5
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Her words pulled at his heartstrings, made his pulse faster as he returned her increase in pressure. You can't... her dismay rang in his ears...though much more clearly in the one that was all there. He shook his head...he didn't know what to do, otherwise he may have reached a decision already.


"I don't think he was lying, Asphyxia, but...he's good. He's very good. I traded words, and learned a few things. I think he might be better than the last one." He tightened the embrace further. It was hard...it had always been his job before, his responsibility to get rid of threats to his pack, but this...this had nothing to do with the people he was protecting. It was just him. He was protecting himself.


"I don't know what to do. I thought about running, but what will stop him from finding us again? And you have family here, I don't want to make you leave them." And he didn't want to be pushed away from his own home. A few months ago, that would have been the only consideration, the fact that he was strong and brave enough to fight for his right to live where ever he would, to stand up against all adversaries. Something was complicating this issue...and he now knew it was Asphyxia. How could he take such risks, knowing that a long life together with Asphyxia would be the price if he failed? "I've never run before, Asphyxia...I know I have a chance...I have to"

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#6
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      Asphyxia looked at him, her eyes started to fill with unnecessary water. She hated showing much emotion, but for some reason she couldn't help herself around Skoll. There was hardly a chance the wolf would waste so much of his time to kill the man that killed his cousin. Eventually he would give up, she had a feeling that they'd be better off running. Especially with everything she had to tell him. “If...well... truth be told, I won't be able to stay with my family anyways if what I feel is correct.” she looked away to say this, she couldn't look him in the eye because she was afraid of what he'd say, “Soon I wont be able to go into Optime form...” she was beating around the bush, “So, please...don't do this. Not when your family is depending on you to make it out alive... I don't want a fifty/fifty chance of your survival, I want one hundred percent, and that means that we'd have to run. Please... She was trying to get him to run with her, as far away as they possibly could.

      Every day Asphyxia transformed, she felt more weak after she did. Soon, she was going to have to stop altogether for the next few weeks, to ensure that her stomach wouldn't get bigger, that she didn't fall pregnant. If she was pregnant, she'd have to leave Inferni as soon as possible, to ensure their safety from Hybrid. Asphyxia had to make sure that they'd never be harmed, and she'd teach them the way of peace and not fighting like she had to all her other children. They'd be the only Holocaust's that never much of a fighting record, not much of a violent life.

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#7
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He was astonished. What had she just said? His eyes had widened at her words, softened at her tears, but...could that be true? How could she know? Was it so easy for women to know such things so early? Was...was he going to be a father? Only if he survived...which wasn't a guarantee, and this was the first time it had bothered him so deeply that it was the case.


"That's wonderful, Asphy, wonderful!" He paused his speaking a moment, not wanting to answer her this way, and feeling bad also for saying such, knowing that she would need to leave her family. "But if that's the case, I can't have you run away. What if we're caught? You'll be alone in the wild, with children, or about to have children." His eyes were dry, but something in him was straining terribly as he realized he would need to speak the words she least wanted to hear.


"It occurs to me that I need to make sure they come into a world that's as secure as I can make it. For that, I need them to have a family or a pack that cares about them, something that they will have here." Gradually, the path he should take was made clear to him. He had forgotten the words spoken by his teacher, forgotten the guidance he'd received so long ago, lost sight of what he once knew, looking for Asphyxia after his discussion with Asmodai.



"Asphyxia, looking at you clears the fog from my mind...and as the blindness leaves my eyes I can see what I must do. My mentor taught me that a wolf who knows no boundaries must not know power. Honor must bind those who choose a path of power, lest the powerless suffer. This man understands this better than his cousin did. I have been challenged...for the sake of our children, and to answer the responsibilities to all those weaker than myself and to the one who announced his intentions to me prior to attack, I feel that I must go against your wishes." His voice softened to a whisper at the end of his pronouncement, but he didn't let go of her...though his grip was weak enough that she could break free if she wanted to. He hoped she would not.

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#8
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      Asphyxia nodded with a sigh, she knew what he had to do and she supposed she wouldn't be able to convince him to run. What was she going to do now? She wanted him to run, as far away as they could but she wasn't going to get him to budge, she knew this for a fact but there had to be someway, but she didn't know what yet. “I see, I guess that's understandable, not wanting to be pushed from your home,” she looked up at him quietly, “But what if you don't come out, what if this... monster comes back out instead. Then what do I do?” the tears slowly came to a stop as there was no point in crying anymore, she couldn't put her words out that way, “You do no good to us dead, but if we ran, at least we'd have time. I can always come back here if something were to happen to you, as this wolf said..he doesn't want to harm your family... then I'm not in danger, only you are.” she looked at him, hoping he understood what she said. If Asmodai were to find Skoll in the woods, and kill him, she could easily find her way back to her what has been her home forever, the only thing she was in danger from was Hybrid but she could easily find her way to Esper Hollow, the place that she was considering being her new home. Asphyxia looked into Skoll's eyes for answers, but so far found nothing besides what she knew he was going to do anyways.
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#9
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Sorry for the delay >.<

"Asphyxia...who knows when he would finally find us? The children could be near birth, you could be unfit for travel...I don't want to take you away from everyone else who might protect you." He hadn't expected it to be easy to convince her, it had been hell convincing himself, and he had been unable to reach resolution at all until he met with her again. This path he'd chosen...a path he'd walked down so long ago, even before the woman he loved was born, it made demands on him also.


"You're not in danger, but only as long as he and I continue to stay within the rules. He doesn't want to hurt my family, but he did come here to kill me, Asphyxia, and I don't know what lengths he is willing to go to if I turn and flee. Because he is conducting himself in honorable fashion, it is expected of me to do the same. It is ceremony, intended to prevent the involvement of outside parties. He doesn't wish to trouble anyone else in his hunt for my life, so it falls to me to ensure that he needn't resort to that to fulfill his obligation." He felt strangely wooden as he delivered the explanation. He didn't know of a way to lay it down for her softly.


"I know that from here it seems cold, but it is the best way, Asphy. People like me, people like him, laying down rules and regulations is the surest way to contain the conflict. His cousin didn't play by rules, and died. He could have sworn vengeance and come after me for that reason, could have lost control, but he didn't. This could get a whole lot uglier if I let it."

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#10
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      The lady listened to his reasoning and yeah he was only somewhat right. She didn't think it was fair that he had to fight. Why couldn't someone else do it? Asphyxia wanted her man in one piece and not fighting. She sighed, there really was no convincing him, changing his mind, “Well if that's how you are going to play it...” she looked up at him with a funny look, “I'm going with you. And if you get hurt, I swear that wolf is going to wish he left you alone.” although, she wouldn't be able to fight considering of her children that were growing inside her and this was probably the last day she could even stand to shift anymore. Quietly she looked at him but then looked around. She walked away from his grasp, she was angry and she was trying to stay mad at him. Going through her thoughts, thinking by herself she looked over at him wondering what he was thinking.


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#11
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She broke away, and said something which horrified him. Come with him? He was going into the jaws of fate, to a duel with a man who was possibly as dangerous as he was, and she was going to take herself--and their unborn children--right to him? He frowned at her as she broke away from him. She was being irrational...her anger would not close the gap in ability between herself and the wolf that menaced their future.


"Asphyxia...I will let you follow me to just beyond the site, but when the fight begins, I don't want you to see. The things you saw me do to the last wolf...I don't want you to see me do such things again. Whether it is him killing me, or me killing him, I would rather that you not see." He knew she wasn't a delicate little flower. He knew she was a tough coyote of a tough clan. Nevertheless, he couldn't find it in himself to be indifferent to her witness of the brutality of his life.

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#12
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      Asphyxia glared at him as he spoke, “Okay then.. I guess then if you don't come home, then that's what that means.” Inside of her head, she swore at herself. Why couldn't she just accept that he was going? Seriously, he could take care of himself and he proved that with the other fight he had. Still, she refused to believe that she didn't have the power to hold him back. She shook her head, she was just being overemotional. Asphyxia looked at him, “I promise you, if he does kill you, after I have the babies then I will hunt him down and I'll make him wish that he stayed a fetus.” she highly doubt that would happen. If he was to kill Skoll, then that meant that he was stronger, and she didn't think that she could have that much power. Quickly, Asphyxia went back into his arms and cuddled him so there wasn't as much as a gap between them, she looked up at him, “I'm sorry for acting so childish. I just don't want to lose you too.” she was crying again, “I love you.”



“”


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#13
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He looked away as she said her angry words. It wasn't fair to her. He knew that. But he wasn't fighting the male because he wanted to feel strong. He knew he was supremely skilled, he had dedicated hours upon hours, days upon days...all the time he had spent improving himself for this purpose could be congealed into a year or more of solid fight training. It wasn't for his own sake that he accepted this challenge, but for an ideal, an ideal that he had learned to value above others. He had fallen short of the ideal many times, but now he was being called upon to answer it directly, and he couldn't turn his back on that.


How could he just do what he wanted? Had he not accepted this power, and the responsibility that came with it? It tore at him that she suffered for this, but what could be done? His responsibilities collided...he had to fight, but he had to be a mate to Asphyxia, and a father to their children. For the first time, he had an obligation which he wanted to meet more than the honor code of the warrior, but it was because he knew he wanted to please and give in to Asphyxia more that he had to deny himself. In this world, there were natural demands on wolf and she-wolf. This call to fatherhood was a natural demand, this call to matehood was a natural demand. He would receive natural benefits for both of these, the beauty of love, the blessing of children...


But the power he had imbued himself with, the deadly education he had accepted, the training he had learned to hone his body and his mind into a weapon, that was not a natural benefit. And it did not have natural demands. And so he was stuck, standing here, torn away from his desired position to answer the call of an idea, a call that took precedence over Asphyxia's wishes, and his own.


"I love you too," he said, squeezing back in return for her renewed embrace, giving a shuddering sigh. "I don't want to lose you, either. I have to fight. I accepted that responsibility a long time ago. I just have to win, for your sake, and for theirs."

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#14
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      Asphyxia looked at him and nodded. So this was it, he was going to fight for all their sakes, rather if he wanted to or not. She smiled because she needed some sense of humor especially in this time of need, “Alright then...” her voice broke so many times in just those small words, “but if you lose... although I'm sure you wont, I will bring you back alive, just so I can kill you myself.” she chuckled lightly at her own bad taste in humor. “But I know for sure you wont fail. I know you'll do well. Just... be careful. For me.”



“”


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#15
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He made a sigh, deep in gratitude. She understood. That was the most important thing to him. She knew why he had to do this, and that it wasn't a lack of emotion for her. No...she had made him feel more alive than anyone had before, even Galdra, whose memory grew faint every time he saw Asphyxia's face. He smiled at her humor, and then brought her close again after her words of support.


"I will be," he said to her, before pulling away and looking in the direction of Shadowed Sun. "I need to go train for the big day. Make sure you wash off before any of your family smells me on you. I'll see you again, soon, Asphyxia." With that, he started off, casting his amber gaze over his shoulder to catch one more glimpse of her before vanishing into the foliage.

~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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#16
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      Asphyxia nodded and sighed after he left. What was a girl to do? Quietly she went off to the lake to think more about everything by herself. The water was somewhat warm and it felt nice so she went in to her head and then sprinkled some over her head to make sure his smell was gone from her completely. When she got out of the water from a nice swim, she shook until her fur was only damp. Then she found somewhere that was nice and open with a lot of sun, lying down on the ground as she breathed in the air. Quietly, she rested a hand over her stomach that hadn't really grown yet, but eventually it would, “If you are actually there babies...don't worry...I'll make sure to take care of you well. Your father will be okay, I promise.” after a few hours of resting she got up and formed back onto four pads, she was going to have to stay like this for quite a while.. but it was worth it. With that Asphyxia ran off back to Inferni where she had to decide exactly what she wanted to do.



“”


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