A Time to Stand, A Time to Fall

Jaden Ohanzee · 07-26-2012, 04:47 AM

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Dated for July 12th. PGP + 8 Words - 800+

The anger was so plain. It radiated like fire from black fur like flames. Any who saw him might be seared by the sheer power of it. He stormed through Sangi’lak cursing under his breath. How dare she speak like that to me! Anger had a way of blurring other feelings and allowing the mind to wander down paths that would usually be unthinkable. Jaden knew he would be forced to cross Ikpiri’Aliqua and soon found himself at its edge while his mind rubbed itself raw in an imagined fight for dominance with X’yrin. He couldn’t do it but his angered mind insisted he could if she could. If she wanted to fight he could give her one.

But an irrational fear was something that could easily suppress anger. Even here at the roaring rivers calmest point he had to encourage himself to step in. At only a foot or two deep, it was something he could walk through easily without much fear but the danger was the water’s speed. One wrong step on the slick rocks would have him falling into the cold. It was enough to distract him while he crossed. He paused at the other end of the river. What had been X’ies’ first attack on him today? He stunk? He had smelled Amy. If only he had washed. If only he had bathed himself before today. It mattered little now but he did it right then nonetheless. At least now he would be clean enough to deflect that attack from X’ies.

The cold water further suppressed his anger. What had been a raging boil in the front of his mind simmered down to an uncomfortable heat by the time he was finished with his bath. Then he continued on toward the den and it stayed there. In reality, Jaden was hurt. He was caught off guard by X’yrin’s attack from feelings he didn’t know she had. He felt like it was proof that their relationship had slipped into a dangerous place due to his disconnection. It hurt. But he wasn’t the type of person that wept over such pain. Maybe he could be upset later but for now he would be angry. He would hate X’ies for bringing up Amy and poke at the still hot ashes of his anger at X’yrin. He was angry and he wanted to stay angry.

It lasted and lingered and charred at him all the way through the communal dens and into the bowls of Mount Oromocto. Until he found his sheaths and blades and picked them up, he was still pissed off. The angry part of him had desired to wear them. He had wanted to flaunt them around the territory until he had to leave. Make sure X’yrin saw them. See if she wanted to fight then too. But holding onto the leather straps and peering into the brown hide, he realized that wasn’t what he wanted. If these truly upset her so much then he could part with them. Even if he was hurt and angry, he still wanted her to be somewhat happy. So, whilst still holding and analyzing his weapons in hand, he slowly wandered out of his room and into hers. The smell of her was heavy there. He realized how lovely it was before reminding himself of his anger and of hers at him. What did she want from him? He eyed the fur that decorated the Sais’ sheaths. This pack was supposed to be theirs? It was theirs when she accepted whoever she saw fit? When she ordered him around? She had brought most of its members too. She had more power in their eyes than he did. What had he done? Hunted, scouted, caused drama, hated, these were all things she could have done herself. Perhaps he didn’t even have a place next to her to fight for. Maybe she didn’t need him at all.

In time he might realize that things weren’t as grim as a wounded heart felt them to be. But that time hadn’t come yet. He still had to think it over. There was plenty to contemplate. He threw the weapons that had been his into the soft white sand of his Alpha’s room near her bedding. If she wanted them, she could have them. It wasn’t worth fighting over. Then he turned and went back into “his” room. He collected all he would need for travel before leaving. Even if they didn’t leave this day, he wouldn’t stay in the soft confines of the chambers again, not until he was convinced it was where he really belonged. There were plenty of other places in this fine land to rest. He knew them all. He would be quite comfortable by himself until X’ies finally found him and they began their journey.

Jaden does. Jaden speaks. Jaden thinks.

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