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haven
The world seemed to match her. With winter’s retreat, the snow was melting and left nothing but the brown beneath it. It was a brown, dark sandy color that melted into her coat perfectly. The air was still cold, but it gave her a pleasant feeling as she marched through the melting forest. Grass would soon break through the awakening surface, but it had yet to feel the sun’s warmth long enough to let the small stalks grow. The trees were thin, and she guess they would break just ahead. A small bit of hesitation could be felt in her step, unsure exactly what she would find.
The Church fey knew that she was close to the city, but kept to the outer portions. Carefully staying at a comfortable distance to anything that reminded her of the one human inhabited concrete world, Mati traveled with her eyes peeled. Sticking to the trees, she only looked at the handful of dilapidated buildings she had found from afar.
Stepping out of the tree line, she found herself out of their cover and in the open. Walking slowly and quietly the large rounded girl looked at what had been laid before her. It was unlike anything she had ever seen, and the young wolfess wasn’t sure what to make of it. The cemetery was something out of a horror film, but the bright blue sky and fair air and wind stopped the bone chilling fear from touching her. Instead Mati rounded the weather worn head stone, violet eyes taking in the words that were scripted upon them. Reading the name the best she could her brain worked out what sort of place it was. The sparse grasses, and old trees that shaded the resting places made it more pleasant then it should have been.
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The rain had let up and Haven needed to get away from Crimson Dreams for a little while. The home that had always been so warm and comfortable had suddenly become suffocating after the discovery of his parent's split. He wasn't really sure how to handle the news. Surprisingly he wasn't angry, especially not at either of his mothers. He was just sad and confused. His perfect little family had been broken and where to go from there was unclear. Using his teeth he strapped his canvas back across his chest and made out towards the city. Halifax was becoming a familiar haunt, but no place in particular inside the old city.
As the looming gray building came into view an incredibly familiar scent caught his nose. The Aatte boy's face brightened and his tail began to wag. It was his sister. It was surprising to smell her out here. After they had come out here with Naniko and had the unexpected run in with their father he hadn't expected her to venture out here on her own. It was good though. She shouldn't let those fears rule her. Diverting his track he followed her smell along the outskirts of the city, intent on tracking her down.
Jade eyes spotted her brown form inspecting a rounded stone in a little secluded area. In fact, there were many such stones littered all over the space. Not wanting to startle her he let out a bark while he was still a good distance away, orange paws padding over the damp ground. As he reached her he nuzzled her neck and gave her a quick lick on her muzzle. "I didn't expect to find you out here!" he said with a smile.
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It was name, she was sure of it. But what the single spaced letters R.I.P meant were still a mystery. Mati looked to the ground on which she stood, eyes trying to see passed the dirt and the box the body had been buried in. She wondered what would happen to her, when she died. It was a morbid thought that passed through her mind as quickly as it had appeared. Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar bark. His voice echoed through the small clearing, and Mati turned with a smile on her lips. Haven entered her gaze and she gave him a push with her nose as he nuzzles her neck in greeting.
She was surprised herself, it was closest she had ever gotten to the city while alone. The place didn't remind her of the concrete jungle, though she would only venture into a cemetery during the day. Since the attack her views had changed. If home wasn't the secure place she had imagined, then she might as well find her own sanctuary. Not dwelling on the moment, Mati looked at her brother with a smile.
Yeah, I'm a little surprised myself. There was pride in her voice as she watched him, eying the thing on his back. What have you got there? Mati ask with a curious glint in her eye. What was he up to?
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A light chuckle emitted from the boy as she nudged him with her nose. Mati still beat him, and the rest of their siblings, on size. While he was compact and lean, she was built exactly like their snowy mother. He could easily imagine her when fully grown looking like a brown mirror image of Naniko. He tried not to think about how much he resembled their father. While he had only seen the man once the similarities had not been lost on him. Haven didn't want to look like him. He didn't want people to connect him with the male that he did not consider a true parent.
The Aatte boy was unaware that his beloved sister had been through a traumatic event. He had been gone so much lately that it logically wasn't surprising. It was impossible to not miss things when one spent so much time away from home. If he had known about the incident he would have hated himself for not being there for her. No matter what that Simon guy had thought, he was her protector. If only he knew that he had failed her at that task.
"It's good though! The city really isn't that bad, I've been there a couple times now." Silently he implied that he had not run across their sire on any of his visits. Head turned to look at his pack out of the corner of his eye. "Oh this?" The youth wiggled his shoulders and neck to get the strap to come loose. Once it dropped to the ground he nosed the bag open. Not much was in it, just his jacket and jeans. "It's some clothes I found in the city. I've been wearing them when I shift." He wondered if Mati had gotten a handle on shifting yet. Actually he didn't know if any of his siblings had.
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There had been a moment, some time ago where she had let the idea of a protector go. She forgot about how much she needed Haven, needed the pack. Maybe she had been too young with foolish excitement to understand that there was nothing that she needed more. The attack had been an eye opener, and though she repressed the memory, hiding it away for nothing but bad dreams and vague recollection, Mati had come to two realizations. The world was full of the evil things that as a small pup she feared, and that death was something far more real then anyone truly believed. They weren’t the most calming of ideas, but they were truth and with such a knowledge she was able to determine the things that mattered most. She was able to begin the great trial of distinguishing the important from the not. As she reconnected with her brother she found that he was ever so important.
Of course, maybe it wasn’t as bad as she had always thought. If Haven said so, then the Church wolfess couldn’t do anything but believe him. The large girl was taller then him, almost by a head, and there would soon be a time where she would be larger then the male they had once met. But that was growing a distant memory too, a hazy picture for her bad dreams. Looking down at his satchel she let her tail wag with curiosity. Clothing? Her nose explored the fabric while her eyes peered at the color and seams. Her face met his again as he said the word, shift. She took a step back, unable to hold her excitement in one place. Really? Interest bubbled as she watched him. The second it was there it was paired with concern. Had he changed? Wearing clothes, shifting and no doubt making far more friends.
Refusing to fall into such self-concerning ideas Mati gave a small smile. Partly eager to know how long he had been able to shift, as well as hoping that she hadn’t been left completely behind her brother Mati questioned him softly. When did it happen?
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[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... banner.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> OOC
For a few moments his sister seemed to be deep in thought, and he wondered what was going on behind those violet eyes of her's. It had been too long since they had really spend any quality time together and he blamed himself. If he hadn't been so busy running off to explore new places and meet new people, he would have had more time for her. She was his sister! His most cherished sister and he had let her fall by the wayside. At least to some extent. Silently he chastised himself. He wouldn't let such a thing continue. He would make sure the make more of an effort and to make more time for her. The last thing he wanted was to lose how close they were.
As she nosed through his pack and listened to his words she perked up. Haven saw her eyes dance with that light of curiosity and he couldn't hold back his smile. Copper tail waved from side to side as he nodded his head. Even though not many of the adults in Crimson Dreams wore clothes when they shifted, the youth had found that he liked them. His jacket helped keep him warm and the jeans...well they didn't serve much of a purpose, but he liked them nonetheless. He could feel his earring as his ears twitched at her second question. Had she not shifted yet? "It happened the night of the full moon after we turned six months old. Have you not yet?" The boy had just assumed that the same urge had taken over his siblings as it had him. Perhaps that wasn't the case.
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i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
Among the sleeping, among the dead she felt at ease. Peace that she hadn’t truly and deeply felt since she had been attacked. She blocked the images from her mind, just referring it internally as ‘the attack’, but not picturing what had happened. It was his presence, and though they were more grown up he was still the one she felt most secure with.
Lavender eyes watched him, noticing how big he had gotten and ignoring that she was indeed taller them her. She still felt small, young and immature. He was passing her, and though she loved him dearly there was a piece of her that wanted to be the first or at least not left behind entirely. No., she spoke hushed and looked away unable to hide the disappointment that she felt.
Hoping to distract him she spoke with a calm but trying voice, I bet it hurt.
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Bi-colored ears drooped as he felt his sister's eyes take in every little part of him. He knew what she was feeling, it was impossible for her to hide it from him. From their earliest days he had always been able to tell how she was feeling. While some of his siblings, especially Brooklyn, viewed their growing up as a kind of competition he never had. Things just...happened. And Haven simply went with the flow. He had never thought that Mati might feel left behind somehow. He took a step closer and nudged her gently. "Hey, don't be upset. Things haven't changed."
Thinking back to the night he had first shifted, it had hurt some. But the pain of the process had quickly been forgotten with his elation after having achieved his optime form. "A little, but not bad." The boy cracked a small grin, his tail swaying back and forth lazily. "Do you want any help? Or advice? You know I'm here for you whenever you need me." He didn't want her to feel left out and he had gotten a pretty good grip on the process now. As always if there was anything he could do for his sister, he would without a second thought.
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i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
Only the rapids of a running river could make the weary female ‘go with the flow’. Their mother, the little one, was a worrier. And though they held no blood with her, maybe Mati had gotten a little bit of that cautiousness. It was impossible to not think about the future, it was impossible to ignore the fact that there would be a tomorrow and a plan needed to be thought out for those moments. If there was no plan, there would no way to know what might happen. And there was a chance that she might be swept away by that running river.
Maybe she could ignore the anxiety, maybe if she believed it would work out, it would.
Meeting his gaze Mati smiled, it was genuine and she spoke with a much more normal voice. No, I know Haven. I just wonder when it will be my turn. It was honest, she had wondered before falling sleep when her time would come and what she could do to spark the change. She was glad to know that it wouldn’t be too painful, having feared that it would. With all the werewolves in their pack, Mati had forgotten to ask anyone of them how and when the change would happen.
Thinking about all that she wanted to know Mati suddenly wanted to forget it all together. Fighting the feeling she questioned him, Did you know before? Or was it a surprise? The young Church female wasn’t one for surprises, they made her chest hurt and her breath leave her suddenly.
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[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... banner.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Kinda short and crappy, sorries D:
The boy thought it was a little strange that it hadn't all happened to them at the same time. They had all been born at the same time, so why wouldn't they all shift at the same time? For a second he thought it might have had something to do with "wanting it". He had wanted to be able to do it for a long time, almost as long as he could think back. But it was obvious that Mati wanted to be able to do it as well, so he couldn't imagine that that was the case. There were always so many questions and he wanted to know all the answers, but even some of the adults didn't know these things. "I'm sure it will happen soon, sis. Maybe you can make it happen for yourself, maybe you don't have to wait." While it had just sort of happened to him, maybe that wasn't the only way. Maybe if she just concentrated on shifting it would happen.
It had definitely been a surprise for him, there wasn't a question about that. "Yeah, it was a surprise. I felt really restless and then I looked up at the moon and it happened. I had forgotten that it was even time for us to be able to. It happened pretty easily though. It takes a while, but it's not bad." He had noticed the more he shifted the less time it took. Haven wanted to help her, but he didn't want to push her. If she wanted advice on what to do to start the shifting she would ask.
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never crap, always love.
i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
It was hard to quiet the thoughts. When they were little nothing bad really happened and her head was always just full of stories she made up or those few scary things she had to avoid. Now life was changing, altering in such a way that it would never be the same. When you didn’t know any better, life was always changing. But now that Mati understood how life should be, how she wanted it she began to worry about how it would all end up.
She didn’t think that she could think clearly enough to have to induce something so dramatic in her body. Instead she could only wait, but as Haven spoke so casually about it Mati was beginning to feel that same way. Influenced so easily by her brother, Mati listened carefully and put trust in his words. Still she could think that she would be able to start such a change.
Instead Mati gave a small smile, her paw brushing against the head stone that she stood beside. I’ll have to watch for the next full moon. Her voice was pleasant, but she was quick to change the subject. Are you sure your not dressing up for someone? Nodding to the sack that held his shorts. Of course they weren’t ‘dress cloths’, but Mati didn’t know any better.
Looking back to her brothers face she wore a sly grin. She wondered if he would know who she was thinking about. Who could he bee waiting for dressed to kill? Mati was almost surprised that he had nothing red to adorn himself with. The little fey she thought of seemed to like the color.
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[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... banner.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> <3 And I love the new avvie 
He could feel her mood lightening and it made his muscles relax. He hadn't even really noticed they had been tensed before. Something about seeing his sister upset about anything put his body on edge, ready to pounce and drive anything away that threatened to make her unhappy. Something about her seemed a little different from the last time he had spent any good amount of time with her and he wondered what it could be. Part of him didn't want to bring and dig up bad things, but another part wanted to go and make whatever had made her feel that way sorry. He would never stop wanting to protect her, no matter how old they got.
The boy nodded his head at her response. Her body would do the work when she was ready for it. At least that's what he was going to think. Maybe she just hadn't been ready for it before. It would happen when she wanted it to. At her question he gave her a puzzled look, head cocking to the side. Dressing up for someone? What was she talking about? Haven looked to his bag, then back to his sister. Her sly smile did little to help his confusion. Whatever she was trying to get at was going completely over his head. "Whaddya mean?" he said with a slight chuckle in his voice. What was his beloved sibling playing at?
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aw, thanks!
i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
She would need someone, want a figure to stand beside her and be her pillar. Though timid Mati had enough pride to keep the insecurity a secret. Though pack animals they needed to be able to stand alone, survive with or without. And even if she wished her could, the brown toned female knew down deep that she was far from self-sufficient. She wondered if she ever would be. Doubt laced her mind each time she thought of it.
Focusing on Haven, Mati smiled as she watched his head cock to the side in confusion. Letting a laugh rise in her chest she enjoyed the feeling of being in the know. Her mouth curved into a smile and she pushed the side of his face with her nose, as she did when she was a child. Oh come on Haven. She teased, knowing that he was still in the dark. You couldn’t keep her a secret forever.
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This was a side to his sister he didn't often see, if at all. Even though he was in the dark it was fun though. He didn't mind being the butt of whatever joke she was playing. The confidence she was exuding right now was something he would love to see from her more often. She was perfect in his eyes, she wished that she could see more of that in herself. Bi-colored ears twitched as her teasing tone spoke again. Secret? Keep who a secret? What was she...
And then it hit him like a brick to the side of his head. His mouth clamped shut and his jade eyes grew wide. Haven could feel his cheeks begin to burn and knew they were turning an amazing shade of red beneath his fur. How did she know about Siobhan? How? The only one that knew was Anu and he couldn't imagine his mother telling Mati about it. Maybe he was wrong, but with the way she was acting he felt that she hadn't gotten the information from their mother. He couldn't even find the words to say anything. His brain was empty and his mouth wouldn't open. All he could do was stare at his sister, embarrassed.
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i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
Mati could only smile soflty at his face. It wasn’t easy to tease him, it pained her to see him unsure and confused. But not enough that she couldn’t find the smallest bit of enjoyment in his embarrassment. She had spent that passed moments self-conscious, it only felt right that he felt that way for a few second too. Of course she only love the idea of him having someone special, though she hadn’t always felt that way. But she did now, and while he stood speechless Mati figured that he had endured enough confusion and discomfort.
Violet eyes looked at him, soft and comforting, as he had been toward her just a subject of conversation ago. Haven, come on. She didn’t want him to feel this way, like he couldn't talk about her, or that he had to feel uncomfortable. She’s so sweet, I met her just a few days ago. Mati paused, hoping to see that he relaxed. She’s lovely. She spoke the words matter-of-factly, like he had asked her how she felt.
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[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... banner.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> I love this, hehe
If he had been capable of sweating, he no doubt would have been now. His sister's eyes were like x-ray glasses, stripping him naked, seeing his most secret places. The boy's heart pounded in his ears and his mind was flooded with questions. What did she think? Was she disappointed? Did she not approve? Was she upset with him? He didn't know if he could handle Mati not being happy about the idea. She was the sibling he was closest to. He had no idea what he would do if she didn't like Siobhan. His heart would be torn between the two girls.
But then as she spoke again Haven let out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. Thanks the gods. A somewhat weary and worried smiled formed his lips. He was still a little embarrassed but he did his best to get past that. He hoped if anyone would understand him it would be Mati. "Yeah? Ya think so?" He certainly did, but it made him happy that his sister thought so as well. Though now all new questions came to mind. The last time he had seen the white coyote things hadn't ended on such a high note. Ever since he had been worried that she wouldn't want to see him anymore. "She...she asked about me? How, uh, how did she seem?"
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i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
It was like he was suddenly bottled up inside. Like Mati had twisted his tongue, he even fought to retrieve his breath. She could imagine what it would be like if she stood in his shoes. Mati would hope and pray that whom ever she liked, or even loved, that Haven would approve of him. She would want them to be friends even. Holding his opinion so highly Mati couldn’t live with the idea that he didn’t find her choice to be a good one.
Yeah, I do. Mati replied with a small nod of her head and a smile wrapped along her mouth. Her voice was comforting, and she hoped to sound as truthful and sincere as she felt. Mati understood why he would be interested in when and how they met, but there was a different kind of concern in her brother’s voice. Something that she wasn’t used to when he spoke, like a lack in confidence. As soon as she knew I was Crimson Dreams, she asked if I knew you Her words were matter of fact and slipped easily from her mouth.
The next came a bit slower, thinking a little longer before saying them. She seemed well, why wouldn’t she be? The brown furred youth couldn’t imagine why she wouldn’t be. But they were friends now and was growing concerned, though not as concerned as Haven seemed to be.
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The Aatte boy's smile grew more as Mati confirmed that she did indeed like Siobhan. It was such a relief to know that she did. That she wouldn't be upset if anything serious ever did happen between him and her. He just hoped that the rest of their family would be so welcoming. He couldn't imagine they wouldn't be, there was nothing wrong with Siobhan as far as he could see. Though as the naivety of youth was slipping from his eyes he knew that everyone wouldn't be accepting of a relationship between the two youths. It made no sense to him, why so many seemed to be concerned about Inferni and the members there. He had never been met with hostility so it was a complete mystery to him.
The lack of confidence his sister was picking up was not a misreading on her part. The usually confident hybrid was totally self conscious and nervous when it came to this subject. So unsure of himself. He wished he knew how his friend felt about him. It would make things so much easier. From the sound of it though she hadn't said anything negative or unsavory about him to Mati. That was a good sign, right? Maybe things hadn't turned out so bad after all. He was flattered that she had been so quick to ask about him.
At his sibling's question his smile turned into a grimace. Even his relief at the feeling that she wasn't mad at him wasn't enough to overshadow his embarrassment at what he had done. "Well, I...did something kinda...stupid the last time I saw her." Haven swallowed hard, past the sudden lump in his throat. "I uh...kissed her...and then she ran away..." Gods, it sounded more awful each time he said it.
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i gotta be my own boss no matter what the cost
She could only wait for him to speak. Even though she had spoken positive words, he still seemed unsettled. Mati waited patiently as he found the exact words, and she couldn’t help but get a bit worried as she waited. Eyes fell to the stone that lay peacefully around them. As his voice filled her ears Mati looked back to his face, ready to concur his problem as if her own.
He had kissed her? She hoped her didn’t look surprised, or shocked. She didn’t want to feel such a way that made him think she felt it had been an inappropriate action. Haven wouldn’t ever do anything unsuitable, or something that he didn’t believe fit the situation perfectly. He contemplated, thought out his actions before he performed them. It should have been perfect, and Mati hated that it hadn’t been. Her features were gentle and her voice soft, Do you think it was her first? Mati tried to place herself in the situation, though she had never kissed anyone. Not in that context anyways. She must have been nervous. Mati knew that she would be scared the first time anyone wanted to kiss her. First were always nerve-racking.
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Haven shifted his weight from paw to paw, trying to distract himself from the awkwardness of the situation. While it was easier to talk to Mati than it was to talk to Anu, it was still awkward. What he had done definitely hadn't felt wrong at the time. To him it had felt so right when he had leaned down to press his lips to her's. But then when she ran away a tiny seed of dread and guilt had been planted in him and it had been growing ever since. Did she think that he had been trying to force himself on her? That he had been trying to take advantage of her? He would never try and do anything like that to anyone, and he hoped that she knew that. Still, he couldn't be sure.
"Yeah, it probably was. She hasn't exactly had the best life." Her mother had been mean and had never even licked her. He didn't understand how any mother could be so cruel to their child, especially when both of his mothers were nothing but loving. "Yeah, I guess she probably was. I just feel so bad, ya know? I don't want it to ruin everything." Even if Siobhan didn't like him in the way he liked her, he didn't want to lose her as a friend.
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