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It was nearly the end of April and not much had changed for the Inferni woman. She had become the third in command under Gabriel, but still hadn’t done much to make her feel as if she were really leading anyone. Valkyrie was growing older every day and more often that not, the young girl was out playing or exploring the lands in and around Inferni. Zana, for the most part, was tagging along with her. Or so Ryan assumed.
And yet there was still something that hadn’t left her mind. She had tried several ways to kill it, to abandon it in the past. Nothing seemed to be working. She had traveled the distance easily, having done it plenty of times recently. Just outside of the Dampwoods, she paused. The border lay a few hundred yards ahead of her, and she knew not to cross it. But now there was a reversal of roles… Ryan waited. Hoping, just maybe, she might catch a glimpse of Romeo.
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Perhaps Jefferson should have been more troubled as of late. Perhaps he should have fallen into a depression or taken some anger out on his subleader, considering the idiot was part of the problem, but he hadn't. The one-eyed brute had barely spoken more than a few words in passing to DaVinci, outside of the recent hunt. The two got along just fine--in actuality, the two were good opposites for each other, thus managing to make up for the other's faults one way or another. They could run Phoenix Valley just fine together, but... when the silver-furred boy was on his own, something always seemed to be going wrong. His mother died, his relationship seemed to be failing, his children left, and the leader of Inferni was waiting to maul him at the first chance he got. Not only that, but the child he was supposed to care for, his little sister, had also been whisked away to that pack that seemed to be causing such a commotion for them both. Funny, since Inferni had never even been a huge presence before. Suddenly, it was the greatest thing to watch, fear, and like at the same time... a paradox Jefferson was unsurprisingly edgy and suspicious of.
The fine weather had kept him in good spirits, however, somehow daunting the dark and negative thoughts of his recent endeavors and forcing them away from his immediate attention. He enjoyed springtime, the scents in the air, the twitter of songbirds. Vague memories in his mind told him that he'd once loved running and scouting in springtime in his younger years, though he could no longer remember them. Of course, that had been stolen from him with the loss of strength in his leg and sight in one eye... and of course, his age. He wasn't quite old, but he wasn't quite young anymore, either. His mind had been busy pondering such things as he meandered his lands, enjoying the breeze and warmth of the sun, but mind cluttered and busy. Single green eye spotted a figure at their borders, however, but was immediately recognized. He brightened somewhat, happy to see the old acquaintance he'd made long ago for the first time in what seemed like ages. Surely she was waiting for DaVinci, but the subleader was nowhere in sight. "Ryan," he said pleasantly, smiling lightly as he stepped closer. They'd met when the cyclops was still an underling; did she know he now led the pack--led DaVinci himself? "Waiting for DaVinci?" ...and hopefully not here to rip his brains out like Gabriel had wanted. Jefferson wasn't exactly willing to fight another battle with an angry Inferni.
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It wasn’t Romeo who eventually appeared along the borders, but none other than Ryan’s fellow cemetery haunter, Jefferson. She offered him a smile, having not seen him since their first encounter. She had respect for the man – he was kind, seemingly intelligent, and very interesting to talk to then. Come to think of it, she could vaguely remember him telling her that he lived in Phoenix Valley among their talk of ghosts. "Hi Jefferson," she responded, before adding, "Guilty." Was it a problem that she had come here? He certainly didn’t seem angry, but then again… Inferni and Phoenix Valley weren’t on the best terms. Maybe her mere presence here was an insult. Though, she didn’t mean any harm by it.
"How have you been? I haven’t seen you since the graveyard." She still remembered their efforts to open the gate, and then Ryan’s piqued interested when Jefferson read from one of the tombstones. Intelligent indeed. She silently wondered if he knew where DaVinci was, or if he had any idea whether or not he would be willing to see her. Then again, if she were him, she probably wouldn’t want to see her at the doorstep either.
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How had he been? Needless to say, mechanisms in his mind had clicked and twisted to no end as of late; the rusted screws that had once held him together so firmly were now beginning to loosen and break apart. There were changes dwindling within that he could not come to appreciate in himself. He was an unwilling parent, all of a sudden. He'd had intoxicated sex with a bright-eyed stranger and could hardly remember any of it all, other than pleasure that had so quickly swept into bitterness and the choking feeling that he'd given himself away. Jefferson had his walls to maintain. When he spoke with Geneva, his defenses wavered and struggled... and now, it had even been weeks since he'd seen her, either.
On top of it all, though, his pack wasn't on good terms with Inferni. Perhaps Ryan wasn't aware of their current distaste with one another since Gabriel's abrupt and unnecessary visit, but she meant no harm. She was not here to kill DaVinci, as Gabriel might have been, but needless to say, all the attention that his silver-furred subleader was getting lately was something the one-eyed leader could be uncomfortable about. "Alive," was all he could mutter. When they'd met the first time, he'd been in good spirits; with the load on his mind today, however, his words were much more... burdened. His green eye affixed on her, mildly quizzical and almost suspicious. "Our... packs aren't agreeing right now," he said slowly. "You know it's not safe to be here." He sighed, though, as if an unsaid forgiveness and dismissal of the concept passed between them. "Gabriel wouldn't be happy to know you came to see DaVinci." Jefferson didn't want to see her hurt. That, and he didn't want the fiery Aquila on his lands again.
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Of course she shouldn’t have come here. She shouldn’t have come the days before this, either. This past week was a mistake, but no matter how much she wanted to say it, she couldn’t dismiss her time with DaVinci as a mistake. Her blood, her ties, her loyalty… those were the only things that, at the moment, were feeling like mistakes. Why couldn’t she just get him out of her head and move on already? It was so annoying! But somehow, she just couldn’t let go. And though the repercussions weren’t too detrimental yet, she knew they could be.
"I know," she responded quietly, guilty. She knew that more than anyone. Ryan and DaVinci were both subleaders in two different worlds that were clashing at the moment, locking horns in a battle of the rams. "I’m sorry." She wasn’t sure what else to say. She knew that simple word didn’t suffice, but still… it was all that she seemed to have. "It’s hard to stay away," she admitted truthfully. She remembered what DaVinci had looked like the last time that she had seen him. She remembered the warmth that met her fingers when she outstretched her hand. She just wanted back the simplicities of when the two star crossed lovers had met. No child, no loyalties, no war… no nothing. Just life. Just them. "I’ll go, she offered, though didn’t make any sudden movement to reflect the statement.
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The Patriarch straightened his back when she offered to leave. No, the thick-headed brute did not understand the labors of love or what tragedy it dragged she and DaVinci through in their opposing packs, but he still had a level of sympathy for the girl, being that she was one of few he'd learned to respect even after a short time interacting with her. Ryan was a smart one, he'd give her that; she was well aware of the dangers that might have arisen at his pack borders, but she had come anyway. It wasn't the wisest of choices, but the Patriarch could not have brought himself to harm her (even if Gabriel was the obvious opposite towards DaVinci). Instead, he inhaled deeply and shook his head, wearing a perplexed expression that clearly knew only half the story of what was actually going on.
"It's fine, I trust you here," he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "I hate to say it, but I'm not like your leader. He came here looking for DaVinci's blood not long ago." Green eye was downcast and quickly strayed away, making it obvious that the two had been in an impromptu battle. Whether or not Ryan was already aware of it, he didn't know nor care. "If the only way you two can see each other is for you to come here, well, fine... just as long as Gabriel doesn't." At first, the hybrid had a level of respect for the dark-eyed Aquila; the two had been likeminded at first, but their differences were exposed quickly. Jefferson couldn't find trust for the creature any longer, and as a result their packs were on unwell terms--a fact the cyclops did not find favor in. Swallowing a lump, Jefferson returned his gaze to her. "Tell me, if you know... How is Zana? Is she being treated well?"
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She winced at the words about Gabriel. She knew that the Aquila disapproved of DaVinci and Ryan had promised that she was done with the silver and steel colored boy. Of course, that wasn’t entirely true. She didn’t know that her heart was going to ache and long for him as much as it had. She didn’t think she would find herself staking out the borders of another pack just to catch glimpses. None of this was according to plan. She listened to the rest of Jefferson’s words, but couldn’t find the words to reply. Instead, Ryan remained where she was, tucking her hands into the pockets of her dress, with her head hung in guilt.
Her crimson gaze only returned to the Patriarch when he asked of Zana. Ryan smiled to him then, glad to be relieved of the harsh realities for the moment. "She’s fine," Ryan promised. "She’s staying with my daughter, Valkyrie, and I in our den. The two get along great. They're always exploring the shore," she added, smiling. She was so happy that Val had found a playmate. The two girls were growing up so quickly underneath Ryan’s paws.
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It was obvious that he instilled some guilt into the kind-hearted coyote girl, but perhaps it had been about time for a reality check. Ryan knew now that the lovestricken nonsense between she and DaVinci was disapproved of from both their leaders, though for differing reasons: Gabriel simply hated DaVinci (while understandably so) for being a nuisance, while Jefferson simply didn't want the pair to get hurt or in trouble one way or another. Somehow, if they did, he knew Gabriel would be back in a heartbeat, vicious and biting for either his head or his subleader's... most likely whoever showed up first to fight him off.
Jefferson breathed a sigh of relief when he found that Zana was under Ryan's care. Out of all the members of Inferni (that he knew of, anyway), the cyclops knew he could trust Ryan. "Good, then. She was supposed to stay here, but..." He shrugged. "...Things came up. She was under DaVinci's care, and then she was just gone one day. I didn't find out until some time later." He'd been so busy taking over for Iskata at that time that it was all one big blur. And not long after, Iskata herself vanished, only to be presumed dead. "I appreciate you looking after her. If you need anything, just ask."It wasn't often that he made such offers, although it was sort of assumed towards his underlings. "But what are you going to do about DaVinci?" That was rather important, too.
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"Thanks," she responded to him, glad to find some support from the man. She knew that neither her nor Gabriel were fond of the relationship, or perhaps now lack there of, that had formed between Ryan and DaVinci. She was just grateful that Jefferson was being gentle about it. He could have easily chased Ryan away, the same as Gabriel had done to DaVinci. "She’s a good girl," Ryan added, smiling slightly. She knew that she enjoyed the girl’s presence mostly for her own selfish reasons – she was a playmate for Valkyrie.
At his sudden question, Ryan felt the breath freeze in her lungs. It was abrupt, and she hadn’t quite expected it. At least, not so soon after easily thinking of the two girls at home. What was she going to do? She had no clue, and there had been no one around to give her any solid advice. She needed her mother. Oh, now more than ever, she needed her mother. She let her breath huff out once she realized she had been holding it. She avoided the emerald eye when she responded, knowing it wasn’t the right answer. "I don’t know." She looked up to him slowly, her shoulders turning in as if to protect herself from a sudden out lash. "What should I do?" She asked him, trusting any advice he might give. Of course she knew that it most likely wouldn’t be anything she wanted to hear.
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Had their conversation been about anything other than love, Jefferson might have had more of a mind to offer her query. It was obvious that she was insecure, confused; he could understand that, as emotions never lied. After all, Ryan had dared to come and see DaVinci even though their packs were feuding rather badly. She hadn't known that he was in charge--she probably still didn't, in fact--and yet she'd come anyway, unafraid of a cruel leader that might have attacked her as Gabriel would have done to DaVinci. Her question hung in the air to accompany her clear discomfort, and a saddened gaze crossed through the brutish Patriarch's eye before he sighed and shook his head.
Clearly, he didn't know what to say. Jefferson could only work off of logic and analysis when it came to giving advice for lovers (which, oddly enough, had become normal to ask of him). He himself hadn't dabbled in romance, and thus he was a novice in the arts of love and the like. He paused, however, bringing to air the first thing that came into his mind: "Do you still love him?" The cyclops asked, looking at her quietly without realization how stirring the question might be.
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It hadn’t been what she had expected to hear from the man’s muzzle. She could have expected a scolding, or some sort of lecture, or maybe even harsh words. Instead, it was a question that once again stole Ryan’s breath. She was stunned for a moment, caught off guard by the candidness of it. "Yes," she responded quickly, without thinking. Her eyes had fallen towards Jefferson’s paws, not wanting to look at the emerald just yet. "Well," she sighed, raising her gaze upwards to his chest, "I think so." She caught his eye then, looking for some sort of indication that he approved or disapproved. Though, she couldn’t read him at that moment. "I’ve never been in love before," she explained, "so it’s hard to know if that’s what it is with DaVinci." Another sigh escaped from her lungs. "All I know is, I was the happiest I have ever been when I first met him. Before any of the issues arose." The issues, of course, being Valkyrie, Iskata’s disapproval, and the distaste between their two homes.
"Should I let him go?" She asked suddenly, her question just as candid as his. It was the one question she wasn’t sure of. She agonized over which answer was the best for both of them, but was never able to decide. The day on the beaches near Inferni, she had thought that her mind was set. Ryan had every intention of letting him go. But lately…
The guilt of being there returned, and Ryan frowned. Maybe Jefferson, because of his ties to Phoenix Valley, shouldn’t be the person to help her. Savina, Ryan’s one and only best friend, would have advice, she was sure. Perhaps she had made a mistake by coming this close to Phoenix Valley’s borders.
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He couldn't help but feel a natural pity for the poor girl; it was obvious that the situation was becoming increasingly stressful for her, and the pressure of the two pack leaders surely was no comfort. No, he did not know the feeling of love or the tug of heartstrings, none of that, but Jefferson was well aware how it felt to be torn between two things. Even since his arrival into Phoenix Valley more than half a year before, he had been stuck in such a position countless times, such as when it came to Iskata's blindness, his promotions, his unending yearning to be free...
She avoided his gaze; he understood that. The cyclops couldn't find a face endearing or comforting enough to soothe her pain (nor was he trying too particularly hard to find such a thing), thus she was better off avoiding his cold, one-eyed gaze that clearly knew nothing. He muttered blind words, the wisdom of the sage speaking in the single category he knew close to nothing about. "Well," he shrugged, "sounds like love to me. If he means that much to you, the two of you should be able to work something out. Someone once told me that love can endure anything, even all the problems you're running into now." He made that up.
He straightened up, however, in watching her questioning, doubting gaze turn elsewhere. "Don't let him go," he spoke seriously. "I hadn't seen him so happy since before Iskata's accident." ...and that had been before the new year, even. DaVinci, the idiot.
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Had those words been the ones she had wanted to hear? Ryan herself couldn’t decide just then. Though she had wanted so much for it to have been the silvery colored leader to intercept her here, Ryan had been glad that it was Jefferson, rather than anyone else from the pack, to find her. She had only met him once before, but had a feeling that she could trust his words and that there would be wisdom and perhaps experience behind them.
"I can’t leave Inferni," she told him, though another voice responded in her head. You can’t or you won’t? It was not an easy answer. She knew that if it really came down to it, Ryan would be able to pull herself away from Inferni. But it was her home, the only one she had ever really had. Sure Anselm was no longer there, and the only thing that truly connected her to the people there was just her blood, but somehow in Ryan’s weird twisted world it was home. She wasn’t sure if she was wiling to let it go for Phoenix Valley. She wanted to, but she was afraid of the unknowns that would accompany the transition. And now, of all times, would be the worst to leave the clan. Such an act would be high treason with such troubles brewing between the two places, and she couldn’t have Inferni out for blood. Especially not with Valkyrie.
She sighed, looking now to Jefferson as if he could offer the easy solution. "And Inferni won’t have him," she added as an afterthought. Ryan would have to be the one to give up her home. Even if DaVinci was willing, the Aquila would never allow the boy on Inferni’s lands again. Not unless some blood was spilled. "I just don't see how this could ever work," the words were choked in her throat, but she managed to get them out. Ryan only wished she knew what was going to happen, so that she could either be hopeful of a future with DaVinci or move on. This uncertainty was maddening.
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Had he been more sentimental, Jefferson might have been of help. Surely what words he'd offered her had already been mused and fought with and against; the one-eyed brute could only watch her helplessly, could only watch as she internally suffered. He couldn't do anything about it. I can't leave Inferni, she mumbled. Such words were discouraging; the slight flicker in his frown made it known. It was not that he disapproved of Inferni, no, it was that with someone like Gabriel leading, the clan was dangerous. Jefferson himself had not found it an easy task to fend the hybrid's bloodthirsty jowls away, but what if he turned on Ryan? The Patriarch's eye thinned: this was business outside of his own. "Watch your back," he said finally, averting his line of sight elsewhere. "We know two different Gabriels... but the one I've seen doesn't listen to reason." A warning? Perhaps. She'd probably have some argument against it, but hell, she wanted his advice, didn't she?
She mumbled something that suggested DaVinci would leave, at which she earned herself a rather pointed gaze from the cyclops. Words were unnecessary; such a gaze made it known that pulling DaVinci away was treading on the Patriarch's territory, and such trespassing forced a reaction in Jefferson that was similar to Gabriel's. True, the cyclops was much more laid back than her superior, but their policies were the same: if their packs or families were in danger, heads would fly. "Talk with him about it," the beast withdrew. "Don't just let it go if you don't want it to, Ryan. I told you it was safe here... and if you're the only one that can convince him to stay off Inferni lands and not get himself killed, then... you need to be the one to do it."
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The dark auburn curls bounced at her collarbone as Ryan slowly nodded her head. Though it wasn’t exactly the advice she had wanted to hear, she knew that what Jefferson had told her was true. "Yeah, I guess so," she replied, her fingers finding the hem of her dress. The problem, of course, was going to be talking to DaVinci. She wasn’t sure what he would say, but regardless there weren’t many options for the two. A soft sigh escaped, and Ryan turned her head back towards the woods that she had emerged from just hours earlier. Across that expanse of woods sat her home, where her daughter and the rest of the clan awaited. Yet here, here is where Ryan thought her love lived. She just wasn’t sure what to do.
"Thanks for the advice, Jefferson." For now she would just do some more thinking. It seemed she had been doing that a lot lately, but the Inferni women still hadn’t decided on how she was going to handle all of this. Maybe another day. "I guess I’m going to head home before dark. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon." She offered the man a smile, before turning to go. Ryan had liked the Patriarch ever since she had met him in the graveyard, and she felt guilty that her own life had started to affect his.
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