[html]
I wanted to post this soon as the Ril'o/Corvus thread came to its climax, so it's actually going to pay to be slow on this just because my threads with Sabeen/Firefly are going slower than expected, so take your time with replying! 300+
The Papaver remained snuggled in the spot where her and her siblings slept in the church, refusing to give way to rise to a brand new day and frolic in nature with her siblings, or do anything that consisted of mischievous puppy nature. The events that happened in the time span that they did, it made her exhausted. Her eyes hurt from tears, her head hurt from crying and wracking her brain, and she didn't have enough energy to rise and go outside today in the blinding daylight. Even the church windows, tall with their stained glass glowing through and casting glorious light and aura in the building was enough to where Catalyst buried her head beneath her paws, and wished that nightfall was already here again. Then again, there was another confrontation. Nightfall brought sleep, sleep brought dreams, dreams sometimes nightmares. Nightmares were obviously not keen to the pup whatsoever, and it seemed that the start of them was just beginning for her these past couple of nights.
The rest of her siblings were either outside or around another part of the church today, for Catalyst remained isolated and by herself. If anything, she was trying to catch sleep; sleep the only thing that would make her eyes unweary and cease her head from its consistent throbbing from her tears and trauma. There had been several life changing events that happened to her, the most remarkable and traumatic being the death of the pack's border patrol wolf, whom Catalyst witnessed his death first hand. It was certainly a thought hard to shake from her mind, not to mention the fact that images and actions such as that was something too raw for the eyes of a puppy or a juvenile to behold.
Catalyst at the moment finally obtained some form of shut eye, however it was going quite disturbed. Laying upon her side, she tossed and turned in her spot, kicking her hind legs, twitching her ears, and yipping ever so often that one would think that it was a cute spectacle to watch a puppy sleeping and dreaming, although the dreams she was currently having were unfavorable to her at the moment. Sleep simply didn't come easy for this de Sadira at this time and era, and who truly knew how long it would stay this way.
[/html]
[html]
sorry I are SLOW, Catharsis has gone back to look for Anka, should Cercelee tell Cat in this thread that her sister disappeared? Cer doesn’t know where she went.
....When Cercelee awoke she found herself still exhausted, as if sleep had not erase any of the weariness she had felt the night prior. Slay, his wounds still healing, slept beside her and his breaths came slow and deep, it seemed that perhaps he would wake with more energy than she did. Carefully extracting herself as to not wake up her mate, Cercelee tiptoed out of the small bedroom, across the stone floored kitchen and pushed open the door to the main area of the church. The morning light filtered through the stain glass and painted the wooden pews a variety of soft colors. If one ignored the chewed wood and scattered bones and other items dragged in from the outside, it could never have been guessed that five children had claimed the vast holy building as their playroom.
.... Cercelee moved along, poking her head in the two confession booths and finding no sign of the pups. Slowly she moved to the back of the church, where behind one of the smaller altars she found the single pups, fitfully asleep. For a long time she watched the girl, imagining that Catalyst had been suffering from the restless sleep that Cercelee had suffered from. The alabaster child was nearly identical to Cercelee, and Cercelee had noted that of all the puppies she cared for Catalyst’s personality coincided most to hers. She looked like her mother, she felt like her mother, but sometimes, when the puppies were awake, when they spoke to her, when they distanced themselves from her, she knew she wasn’t really, not really their mother. Sighing, she leaned closer to the child, nosing her gently.
"Catalyst?"
....
 |
[/html]
[html]
Sure, it'd probably be better for Catalyst to hear it from Cercelee than someone else at this point. 300+
It was unknown just what dreams were playing in the mind of the small ivory girl, but suddenly the soft nudge from the cold kohl snout of the Rosea nearly jolted Catalyst up; dual eyes flying open, and something of a half gasp, half yelp emitting from her throat. Thankful to have escaped the void of her slumber, but then again not so happy to have been woken up at the point where things were getting intense in her dreams, it took a second for her weary eyes to adjust to the china doll colored lady in front of her. Thankfully it was Miss Cercelee, and not a demon being who harbored empty, black eyes.
"Cercelee..." Catalyst softly muttered, smiling a sort of sleepy smile as her tiny maw opened for a long, drawn out yawn. Shaking her head awake, what a dream that had been for her. Her eyes squinted at the soft light that filtered through the glass stained windows, adjusting to the day's brightness within the church. Sitting up to where she was settled on her haunches, another yawn escaped her muzzle as she looked up to the Rosea. It took Catalyst a couple days in to fully adjust to her and her mate, no doubt finding trust a hard thing to come by. However, Cercelee had won her over, and whenever Cercelee was around, she had felt protected, comforted, reassured. All the things that a mother should provide to their pups, Cercelee gave to Catalyst and her siblings. Even while Catalyst missed her mother, she did indeed have somewhat of close feelings for Cercelee.
Blinking and looking around, Catalyst had noticed some siblings were not present. Turning back to the blue eyed Rosea, she tilted her head in question. "Where'r the others?"
[/html]
[html]
.... Navy eyes watched the girl awake with interest, first the Rosea felt guilt as the girl jolted awake, but soon enough the familiar smile grade the miniature face and Cercelee returned it genuinely. That such an act, something so simple as watching someone open their eyes to the morning, could bring her such immense joy, Cercelee did not fully understand it. Was this what it was like to truly be a mother, to take pleasure in everything and anything the little de Sadiras did? When Conor and Emwe had emerged into the world, Cercelee had been confused by their presence and her role to them, but the de Sadiras had quickly taught her. Everyday she felt closer to them, and in a way, her new skills at dealing with children, helped her to get closer to Haku’s children as well.
.... "I believe Avarice and the boys are out just now.” She smiled, no doubt Roulette was tagging after his sister and Palindrome had wandered off alone, again. They all had such unique personalities and Cercelee felt like living with them each day was actually studying them each day, she found she never grew tired of it. Yet there was one trouble, and perhaps it was nothing really, but the raven female of their group had been missing that night, and the night before. It worried Cercelee, for never before did the pups not come home without warning or good reason, but she kept calm, expressing her fears only to Slay that last night. "I do not know where Catharsis is." Her voice was low, and sad, as if admitting defeat, failure. She had a duty to these pups, and part of it was knowing where they were. So soon and she had already failed.
....
|
[/html]
[html]
500+
Her ivory jaws formed into an "o" shape, silently admitting the word oh when Cercelee spoke of where Avarice and the brothers had ran off too this morning and for the day. Catalyst wished she too had their energy to get up early and run off to play with them like she didn't have a single care in the world, but things changed now. Everything was different. The more change that was brought about, the more that Catalyst wasn't liking it whatsoever. Maybe it was the fact that life wasn't all sunshine and easy as one thought it was in the beginning; it was all starting to come out to her now, in a shocking and alarming rate.
There had been something that made Catalyst upset even more. Catharsis. The last night before, her opposite told Catalyst that she had to run off in search of their mother. Catharsis had a feeling, a really good feeling, that she knew where Anyanka was at. Catalyst didn't know how Catharsis felt such a thing, but she was so sure of herself that it convinced Catalyst enough to where she might as well just knew what she was doing. Catharsis, just like the rest of her siblings, were terribly young yet, and even Catalyst felt some sort of worried nature for her sibling, the one that was considered her worst enemy and best friend in the same. What if the monster puppy eater got to her somewhere out there? Catalyst wouldn't know what to do if anything bad happened to Catharsis, or the rest of her siblings.
Hearing as how Cercelee noticed that Catharsis had not returned to the church in two nights, it was news that Catalyst almost didn't want to tell her. For the fact that Miss Cercelee sounded so disappointed about it, maybe Catalyst was afraid that Cercelee would get angry that Catharsis left the way she did. Her ears flattened against her ivory skull, her own voice low. "Miss Cercelee..." Catalyst trailed off at first, not sure of what correct wording to use. There was a deep breath taken, and then the first born spilled it all out on the floor to her. "Catharsis is gone. She left to go look for mom! I told her though that it was dangerous, that there's monster puppy eaters an' monsters an' things with black eyes an' things that'll drink your blood an' terrible creatures an' that mommy isn't really here anymore an' that she doesn't care about us anymore an' that she's gone for good an' it's not my fault I swear it isn't I told her not to go i'm so sorry Miss Cercelee I didn' say anything!" That was a huge run on sentence for Catalyst, in which she didn't stop talking until she felt as if her lungs were going to explode. When falling silent, she was then anxious to hear what Cercelee was to say about all the quick information given to her in one long sentence.
[/html]
[html]
.... Cercelee’s beating heart grew louder as Catalyst words tumbled form the little girl’s mouth. Although it was a relief to hear someone knew where the sable pup had run off to, it was not relieving to hear where she had gone to. To search for Anyanka, the very mother who had not only scarred the girl’s face but abandoned her whole litter to a near stranger. Cercelee’s ears fell flat against her skull and her mind raced. Should she run after her? Bring her back? But it was probably too late, the girl had been gone for sometime and it would take too long to retrieve her. There were four others who needed her here now, with or without their sister. The thought of Catharsis out on her own, so young and vulnerable with so many evils lurking was terrifying, but Cercelee knew that in the end leaving and searching her would not only be a waste of time, it would mean one less pair of eyes to watch the pups that were still safely within Dahlia de Mai’s borders. She was needed her, to be Rosea to the pack and mother to the rest of the pups, and with Corvus and other evils lurking near the pack they couldn’t really risk sending anyone out to search for Catharsis. The child had made her decision and there wasn’t much she could do to change that now.
.... "It’s okay Catalyst.” Her words were sincere and soothing, and Cercelee became aware of how delicate a situation this was for the white pup. Too many bad things had hit them too hard in too short a time, and Cercelee was barely able to hang on, she knew she hadn’t been available enough for the pups, especially Catalyst who seemed to see and hear the most, and who probably carried the heaviest burden. Again she brought her muzzle up to the girl, this time embracing her, hoping that such a simple gesture could really provide reassurance and security. "It’s not your fault, I know that.” None of what had happened the past few days had been her fault, but Cercelee knew that youngsters sometimes blamed themselves for the things that happened to others and the situations they witnessed. "How are you feeling sweetie? Really?”
....
|
[/html]
[html] http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/4598 ... ttable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
400+
Catalyst breathed out a heavy, long snort from her nose. Perhaps there was a feeling of almost envy within Catalyst for Catharsis leaving out all on her own, without the supervision and guidance of an adult to hold her paw along the way, but Catharsis just decided to up and leave without anyone, not even one of her own siblings to tag along. Catalyst wanted to go as well, but then again there was a feeling within the pit of her soul that told her to hold back here. There were her other siblings that needed each other too, and for one more to leave and abandon the rest like mother did, it would only make the entire scenario worse for everyone. Catalyst was the first born of the litter, and had a duty in her heart to uphold. To not be the person that her mother was, not to her siblings, not to her guardians, not to those who mattered most to her. If she did such a thing, it would make her seem like a hypocrite, and only as bad as her mother was as a person. Catalyst couldn't, wouldn't hold a reputation like that. There were others who needed her here, and she needed them just as much in return.
Miss Cercelee's words were gentle, understanding. Did she really understand, though? Miss Cercelee had her way of making things right, making things seem like there was really nothing bad or evil that existed in the world. She was like a sanctuary herself that Catalyst could come back to, and in her care and support would feel such goodness and purity radiate from her. That was what she liked best of her guardian, that there was always something good in everything, and that she could always see some sort of goodness in things that were not so good. Hopefully Catalyst would grow up to be an individual just like Cercelee one day. Miss Cercelee reassured once again that it wasn't Catalyst's fault for what happened thus far, and even while Catalyst did feel a sense of guilt (especially for going out to the borders when she was told not to by Cwmfen), Cercelee made it seem like it was nothing to worry about at this point. The past is the past, the future is now, and what mattered now was what was going on in the present. When her guardian asked her how she really felt, there was a disdained look upon her dual eyes, in which her head then shook indignantly. "I... don' know. Tired, confused, scared." She said with a sigh following suit, then continued. "You know nightmares? Tha's how things feel right now... a never-ending nightmare." That was pretty much the only thing the weary pup could say. "How... how are you, Miss Cercelee?" It would be rude of her to not ask a similar question in return, for she cared just as much for her guardian as her guardian cared for her.
[/html]
[html]
.... One big nightmare, it was an accurate way to describe the past few weeks. The attack on Slay, Ril’o’s death. Cercelee too had felt like she had been walking about in a dream, a terrifying dream in which she knew she was sleeping but couldn’t wake herself. Gasping for air was a common feeling, no matter how deep of a breath she took. Lying to Catalyst was not an option but neither was admitting her utter weakness these past few weeks. As a mother and as the Rosea she found strength from somewhere to put on a brave face, but as an individual, as Cercelee, she was beat. "I haven’t been great Catalyst, but things will get better.”
.... Whether things really would get better or they would simply survive and keeping pushing through Cercelee couldn’t say, but it was really the same thing. They would continue to exist for as long as the world permitted them to and they would do the best they could in the meantime. Nuzzling her small ward fondly, Cercelee sighed heavily, breathing in the scent of the child. "What could I do better? Do you feel safe here? In this church with Slay and I, I mean? Are you guys happy here?” Catharsis had left, was it really because the young girl had such an ambitious dream and calling, or had Cercelee failed the children on some level? The fear of harming them in any way was constantly hanging over her head.
....
|
[/html]
|
