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It was daylight, bright and almost violent against her bright purple eyes. The sky held no clouds, nothing but pure and untainted blue. She looked to it, attempting to look at the bright orb, but was left with its reflection in her view for moments after. The heat touched her back and shoulders, as she moved away from the safety of her home and towards the lake. Four paws ran until they met the sandy shore. The placid lake called her name, and the girl looked at it with a pleading gaze. In a moment she was shifted, two legged and panting. A few steps into the water, and she descended into the cool relief. Never had she experienced such heat, and her large size did not manage it well. But the water surrounded her, a much needed to companion for the female.
She lay on her back, letting the water carry her. Wading in the arms of the cool water, thinking of the last moment she had experienced in the very spot. Eyes closed the young woman drifted until she could no longer stand it. Finding herself much closer to the center of the body of water Mati began to swim, a small feeling a panic in her chest. By the time she reached the shore Mati found that she exited on the opposite side. Sanding and facing the lake Mati found herself looking at the most direct route home. She could swim, but the fear of drowning was now very real. For a long moment the tall woman considered it, before realizing that the sun no longer hung above her. It was low, too low. Violet eyes caught the blended colors of the setting sun; they flowed across the clear sky and taunted her. Fear of darkness was a childish thing, but very real for the Crimson Dreams female. Suddenly cold from her wet fur, she placed an arm across her chest and felt the scars that ran across her arms. Reminders of the dangers of the darkness.
She walked, refusing to truly recognize the fear that slowly filled her. Her breath was growing ragged, and she focused on each inhale in hopes of calming it. She hadn’t been out of the Manor since the attack, but she refused to think of that as well. She looked to the ground, searching for the trail that would lead her home. Rabbit Lake slipped from view, the forest surrounding her entirely. Still she walked, finding the nearest trail, and sticking to it. Fear bubble through her blood stream, but her pace remained steady and seemingly calm. What she did not know what that she headed west, not north. The sun could not be seen, giving no indication of where she was headed. She was alone, in the darkness.
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It seemed he always found himself in a place in between. The white man walked, on two legs as usual, without giving his place in the world much thought. He wasn't a deep thinker. His body didn't house a complex soul. Lannen was a creature of simple feelings, simple pleasures, simple morals. He believed in right and wrong, and a very small margin of gray area in between. He didn't judge very often, unless he was judging himself. In his eyes, he dwelt somewhere within the dark. Since he had left Long Lake, life had been easier, simpler. However, he had found it hard to let the past go entirely.
It was strange for him, to continually stand at a threshold for so long, between what had been and what could be. He held on so tightly to his past, to his mistakes. It was against his nature, but his world had been rocked. He wasn't a man who was easily shaken. He usually floated through life without feeling anything too intensely. Now, life had calmed. He had left home - everything that meant home to him - behind. And it had been a considerable amount of time.
Sometimes he felt as though he didn't remember who he was anymore, but there were ripples, reminders that made him feel more like himself. His brown eyes drifted as he pondered a physical reminder, a young earth-tone girl. He was lost in her simplicity. She was simple goodness, her wonder for life still fresh, echoing his old mindset. He didn't have to think too carefully about her, or around her. He felt he could almost be himself, if he could remember how to do that. She was the closest thing to what he might call a friend, except perhaps that knucklehead Heath, when he didn't need a good thrashing.
The white wolf blinked as a familiar scent punctured his thoughtless, meandering walk, soon accompanied by the sight of Mati walking down the path. He cocked his head to the side. He had never seen the girl outside of her homeland. Then he saw the way she hunched in on herself, the way she was shaking. Lannen walked slowly until their paths crossed, not wanting the startle her. "You okay, kid?"
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Night called to her, the shadows that were so tempting. New and different that would shallow her in a single moment with no second thought. They called to her, a deep voice singing her name. Dark pools, eyes with no dimension, no color, obsidian (not even the blue and purples of a normal black), they were the absence of all color. The absence of life. The brown furred female was tempted to push her palms against her ears in hopes of blocking the sound from entering her mind.
A chill ran through her, racking against her spine. Her shoulders shook, but as if passed Mati was able to calm her body and shake the cold from her form. Her large body moved through the dark, the forest surrounding her, standing and judging her. They looked down, adding shadows and darkness. Mati cursed them silently. How her mother loved then so was unknown to the female. They did not watch over her, but block her view, give those that sought her out cover and their roots tripped her footpaws.
A voice, deep and masculine rang in her mind. It frightened her, but then melted the fear away. she looked up, purple eyes glowing the night that covered her. He had called her name, or the name that he had given her. No other beast even thought she was a child any longer. it was like he could see the immaturity that still hide within. The male glowed. His figure the light a coastal tower shined, guiding her and drawing her close. The sight of Lannen opened her mind, clearing it and bringing the scent of the outside into her nose. She was away from home, and she wondered if she had walked all the way to Aniwaya.
Mati shook her head, giving a feeble smile and spoke the exact opposite of what her head suggested. Yeah, I think so. She lied, not wanting him to know that she was lost once again. He didn’t always have to be the one to show her the say, though he was beginning to be good at it.
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Mati had happened open the outtermost borders of tribal lands. She looked around as though she didn't know where she was, or how she got there. The white man looked at her consideringly. She didn't seem the type to absently wander. There was such a thing as wandering without a purpose, but she seemed to dwell within her own mind, and had only come into the here and now upon seeing him. He wondered if something had been bothering her, but let it go. She was a big girl, and she'd talk about it if and when she wanted to. For now, he could at least make certain she was safe and knew the way home when she wanted to go back.
Lannen had wandered listlessly about the borders. He hadn't given his day much thought. He hadn't necessarily been lost in his own mind, so much as he wanted to be blank. The white man didn't tend to think things through when he was in a rut. Instead, he tried to relax himself and open his mind. Once he let go and let the pressures slide off, he usually found the way he needed to go.
"I'd feel better if you'd know so instead," the man said wryly, smiling. The white male sauntered over to wear he saw an overturned tree and sat down. He had been walking long enough to make his legs tired, and wouldn't mind a rest. Here was as good a place as any. "What brings you to my neck of the woods?"
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The tall female wandered closer, finding the glow of his coat overpowering the dark that surrounded them. Maybe if she stepped into his light, she would not have to fight the shadows. Mati smiled, again trying to give the personification that she was safe and feeling fine. But part of her knew that Lannen would be able to tell no matter what sort of face she put on.
His words were uplifting, in a humorous way. Purple eyes looked at the sly smile, and could not help but let a genuine grin on her own maw. He always had something like that to say, something a little witty or sarcastic. He made her laugh, though the joke was never too apparent. Arms across her chest Mati walked towards the male and followed him to sit on the fallen log.
I’m better. The young woman let a smile cross her face, glad she was able to speak the truth. Settling down in the glow of the silver coated male she gave a small shrug, her mind drifted back to the pain of her memories and her arms. I got turned around, I’m embarrassed to say. She paused, looking back out into the night from where she had originated. I had been swimming Eyes went back to the male, wondering if he would be impressed that she had used the techniques he had shown her.
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[html] "Swimming, huh?" Lannen said, cocking his head to the side and smiling a little as he turned to look at her. She seemed to be gazing off in whatever direction she had ome from. Lannen was glad that she had conquered her fear of the water. She seemed to be taking to her luperci form with a natural grace he was hard put to ignore. She was a graceful young girl, and she was growing into herself quite well.
Though she seemed unsettled. He was certain that she would have enjoyed swimming. Otherwise she wouldn't have decided to do so on her own. It didn't make sense to him. His brown eyes meandered in the direction she was staring in before returning to her. His eyes wandered lower, to where she hade her arms wrapped around herself. He went still for a moment, before exploding out of his seat.
He grasped her wrists and extended her arms, so he could look at them. His eyes traced the lines of her scars and he was quiet for several minutes before he raised his eyes to look at her face. "What happened?" his voice was full of quiet menace. [/html]
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Yeah, I think I floated a little too far. Ended up on the other shore. Might have resulted in me getting lost. The young woman spoke with a laugh in her voice, and a small innocent wink. She would like him to know that his help that night they last saw each other was still helping her. She thought of his advice, his gentle pushing often. She laughed at it, and it brought a smile to her face when she thought about it. There had even been a time when someone had called her out about her absent-minded grin.
She was surprised by his movement, and by the way his hands moved against her wrists. Puling the out into the dark night air Mati let the surprise flood her face. But for some reason she could not rip her arms away from his grasp. Not the way she did when she spoke to Haven. There was no anger, and she let them hang limply in his hold. She let the question go unanswered for a moment, but her mind was not filled with answers that she could give him. Instead she fought to understand his voice.
Promise me. The Crimson Dreams fey spoke softly, still unsure of what to tell him. But she was certain that he would have to give her his word before she did. Promise you won’t... look for him or anything . I mean it. Mati looked to him, with a grave seriousness in her face and tone. She wouldn’t tell him if he didn’t give her his word.
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[html] Lannen floundered for a moment. His eyes were wide on her face and he ground on his back teeth to keep himself from expressing his disbelief. She presented herself with a gravity that seemed to old for her youth. She must have experienced something horrific. Why would she want to hide it? What shame was there in it? He wanted to track down the idiot that had done this to her and rip off his head. And that was just for starters.
He inhaled swiftly, then nodded once, not loosening his grip on her wrists. "I won't go looking for the bastard," he growled, hating to concede to her. But it wasn't as though he could do anything but ask her. What would he do, scream at her? That made no sense. So he promised not to go looking for the idiot, but that didn't mean he wouldn't take action if he actually found him. That was an entirely different story.
The white man contented himself imagining flaying the faceless perp. Or better yet, the many ways he could flay him. But he came out of those thoughts and shooking Mati a little, asking her again. "What happened? Tell me." [/html]
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She didn’t like the way he was looking at her. Unsure if he was concerned, or just angry. But she couldn’t believe that he was mad at her, something told her that he was just angry that she had been hurt. He spoke, giving her what she wanted and then asking again for the information. Part of her wanted to tell him, while the other wished that he would accept that she was broken and scarred and live with it. That harder, angry piece of the soft female did not win. The weaker portion was over powering and she gave him a nod, looking away and wanting her arms back around her body for comfort.
Thoughts drifted to her brother, but this was not Haven and she could not gauge what Lannen’s reaction would be. His curse had surprised her, but she accepted it but not enough to look him in the eye. A male, named Corvus Vendetta, found me after I visited my brother. Haven was so messed up, torn apart and leaving the pack. I went to the university, because it was safe. I felt it was safe. I had met a friend there once. Onus. He always makes me feel safe. She paused, taking a much needed breathe but still not wanting to watch his face.
But Corvus found me there, and he… baited me. She said the word with disgust, hating herself for almost giving in to his soft spoke demands. And when I refused him, he attacked me. Onus found us, saved me. She would say that she was almost raped, wouldn't say that he had wanted her to beg for it. She took her arms then, unable to survive any longer without them around her body. She felt pain in them as the male’s finger raked across them.
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[html] Lannen was glad that another had intervened. He could read between the lines, and he felt himself go still at the realization of her words. Mati was a young girl, a rare and unique person of beauty and strength. She still found wonder in the world around her. She still smiled, and still tried espite the tragedy that had befallen her. It seemed even more perverse that her attacker had tried to take away her innocence. It made him angry. He curled his hands into fists, but did not raise his hands.
He looked beyond her shoulder, brown eyes shuttered as he considered what had happened to her. That explained the quietness, the stillness about her. She was nervous, jumping at the shadows. The unknown presented a whole new world of unrealized fears for her now. More likely than not, she felt defenseless even now. He tried to school his features to keep the anger from his face, but the best he could do was offer her a blank face.
"I'm glad that Onus was there," he said, his voice thick with pent up anger, frustration. He felt like he should have been there. At least, he had wanted to be there. Perhaps he could have stopped it all together. He would never dream of following Mati before, but now if there was going to be something or someone lurking in the shadows, he wanted it to be him, to drive all the other shadows away.
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The Church girl wanted to know what he was thinking. The air between them changed, and she would have had to get up and walk away to avoid noticing. She couldn’t help but believe he was thinking the worst of her. Thinking that she was something that the male had wanted to make her into. He was silent, and his face black and void of any emotion. But she knew what that meant. It wasn’t a good thing. For once she just wished he would be angry, if he was mad she would rather him show it then bottle it up inside. She would know how to handle anger, though coming from Lannen she wasn’t exactly confident. And when he did speak all the rage was written throughout his words.
Her ears fell against her skull. And fingers felt the scars the lined her arm. They were ugly against her skin but hid slightly under her fur. At a first glance no one would see them, and maybe if her coat grew longer they would be hidden for good. She didn’t want everyone to know they were there, and especially to ask how they got there. If she was more creative she would find a lie to tell, but the girl was too ashamed of the truth to look passed it. Me too. It was all she could say for a long moment, and she still was unable to look him in the face. He didn’t seem able to look at her either. Could he tell that she had been so close to a whiling participant?
But I don’t think he is going to come around here. It has to do with a Dahlia wolfess. He isn’t looking for me. She spoke softly, hoping that she could somehow believe it and maybe to shrug it all off. But as she sat in the dark she fought the nerves that told her body to tremble. She was stronger then this, he was bold and brave and built like her towering mother. Mati Church could be better then a weeping child, but at the moment she felt like less.
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[html] Lannen worked at keeping his tone cool, empty of the anger he felt like a hard weight in his chest. It was obvious that Mati was upset and still sensitive about the situation. He dropped his hands to his sides and sighed, turning his eyes up to ponder the sky for a moment. He rolled his shoulders and rotated his neck, trying to dispel the tension that had gathered in his muscles. After several seconds, he dropped his brown eyes back to her face. There was less tension around his mouth, although it was still turned downward. He had made an effort to appear less tense, less imposing. He only hoped that it worked.
"I'm only angry because I care about you, kid," the white man said. He felt that he needed to explain. The girl was brave enough to talk about what had happened to her. He did not need to complicate her situation further. He didn't want her experiences with him to fester in her mind, twisting as she tried to decipher every bit of negativity that had already been thrown at her. She had to be confused enough already.
"I'm sorry if I am making you uncomfortable," he said quietly. His words were sincere. He sighed again and let his limbs hang loose as he moved to sit next to her again. He stared off into the shadows for a few minutes as he tried to think of the right thing to say. [/html]
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Sometimes she could be lost in the memory. While she slept dreams would come and he would be there, waiting for her. Calling her name and talking softly as he had. He would always ask with a polite tone, but the ending wasn’t always the same. At times she would run, though he caught her. Other times Onus would rescue her before her could lay a hand on her. And then she would allow it. She was whiling and stepped into the darkness with a smile. That was the worst of endings. As she slept she prayed that she would die; he would kill her before she said yes.
Lannen spoke, the words calm and caring. Mati nodded, she knew that he cared. Though the girl had not thought about it until now. He cared, but who was she to him? He had helped her so much, and yet she had done nothing for him. His next thought made her look to him with soft violet eyes. She looked at his face, his white features glowing in the night that surrounded them. She smiled, true and genuine. Shaking her head slightly she spoke. Its ok. The words soft but honest. It was all right to ask, to want to know. He cared about her after all, he only wanted to know if she was ok. It’s getting easier, to talk about it. Mati admitted. I just don’t want anyone else hurt by him, especially because of me. No one needed to try and find him in her name, there needed to be no revenge. The beast would see his fate soon enough, Mati was sure of it.
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[html] The white man was perhaps two seconds away from saying that her attacker could not possibly hurt him, but he swallowed the stupid statement. Although she said it was getting easier for her to talk about her ordeal, he knew better than to exacerbate the problem. For now he needed to be supportive of her and listen if she wanted to talk. The best thing he could do at the moment was probably just shut up and let her heal.
Lannen wasn't big on talking through his problems. He would rather wither and die than confide in most people. He was the type to take comfort in the presence of someone who cared rather than dissecting his everything thought over an issue. He expressed himself in his own way and found little comfort and use for words.
Maybe Mati was the same. He decided to drop the subject for now. If she wanted to, she would bring it up again and he would be as supportive as possible. Have you...been swimming more?" It was a lame conversation starter, but it was all he could come up with. [/html]
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Nodding her head Mati answered but could not look up,
He didn’t say much, and as uncomfortable he thought he was making her, Mati worried that he was feeling uneasy. She didn’t want to be the source of unhappiness, and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Mati thought of her brother’s reaction, the anger he had felt. And though it was directed to the young woman Mati till felt that the pain that came with it.
In the past Mati had only left comfort while in the AniWayan’s presence, but she began to feel the rise of anxiety in her chest. What if he did go after him? What if he though her tainted and impure? The thoughts made Mati fidget, and when he asked her about her swimming she had to come out of a distressed daze.
“Yeah, a little.” She said with a meek and forced smile.
She grew silent, and looked at the male. Unsure of what to say next her said the only thing that came to her mind.
“I should get home.” She didn’t necessarily want to leave him, but the darkness was beginning to shadow them.
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