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Can we post date it to the 5th? That way Onus can take her home on the 4th and then she can move around on the 5th, ^=^;;;
500+
The warrior had returned to Dahlia. It had been a bittersweet parting, but she believed that it had been necessary. While wishing that she could have returned to Dahlia de Main on her own, she was glad that Onus had been there to help her. Without him, she would not have made it far. The wound upon her right leg did not allow her much freedom, and she would have worried that she would hurt whatever was inside of her should she had fallen. But he had been there to catch her as he had been there for her upon that dark night. And yet she could repay him only with the harboring of a child of the crow wolf. Indeed, she had not succumbed to the blackness of her father’s soul, but how long would it be until it consumed her? The unease that she felt was gone. With her departure from Onus, she felt that she would not force him to remember a number of things that surely plagued his mind.
The black fae had slept upon the soft grasses outside her den. She had not allowed her den space enough to allow for the entry of a pregnant luperci. But with her body’s strange new shape, she would have felt closed in. The grasses were soft and lush, and the warm air of summer was cooled by the soft drizzling of rain that was continuous throughout the night. She awoke with dawn as she was accustom to doing, but it was still dark for the overcast clouds. Slowly, she pushed herself up with her right hand, and she felt heavy and clumsy for the weight of her stomach. Briefly, as the Dreaming fell away, she wondered at Sankor’s behavior. But he had been upset with her before—perhaps she had done something involuntarily to displease him.... Perhaps she should find him again. The black fae reached over, grasping the shaft of her spear. As its song leapt in her hand, the woman used the weapon to provide her stability as she pushed herself up. The familiar pain throbbed in her leg, but she was already accustom to it. With a soft grunt, she brushed the pain’s insistence aside. It would continue, she knew, with every step.
Despite the security with which she should have provided herself, the Dahlian warrior slowly made her way to the boarders. Despite the wound, her progress was swift, and her grace, despite the limp, took on a different lilt. With the aid of the spear, she was able to minimize the distraction of the pain, but her silence was sacrificed for the soft whisper of her passing. When she reached the boarders, the woman paused, a serene content washing over her. Her acute senses were heightened by the hormones within her body, and she felt that instinctual need to protect the life within her. Aggression was moving through her mind already when she heard the approach of another. She turned swiftly to meet the approaching one, her plain face distorted by that snarl that was so rarely upon her features. Growling openly, the woman lifted her spear, ignoring the protest of her leg but shifted her weight to her left. Regardless of her pregnant state, the woman was still a warrior.
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She could not ignore it, nor the fact that time had passed. Too much time, Anu believed. The motley gray and sand colored fey walked from her home, four paws taking her the majority of the way only to change to two when she got close. The one she thought of had never seen her in that form, and a small portion of her mind wondered if it would not please the one she sought. Thin fragile fingers untangled the long strait fur that made her mane, no longer cut short by a kitchen knife. She let it hang at her shoulders and flow around her face, light in color as the rest of her shifted form turned to. Continuing steadily until she came to the boarders, Anu came to a faltering halt, hesitation heavy in her posture. Her hand fidgeted for a brief moment, but her courage would not be wilted. Gathering what little she had the woman moved forward, blue eyes looking through the surrounding foliage. Looking and hoping to find the one she had placed so much distance between for so many unknown reasons.
A tall elm, its leaves a flat and broad vermilion stood at a short distance and the woman drifted towards it. Her thoughts drifted to the solace and comfort that the ancient character portrayed along the unknown landscape. Anu felt the need to cling to the voiceless beast, or sit beneath it and enjoy its shadow in the summer sunlight. The day was one of the few that held no urgent sign of rain. It might come, but not until the atmosphere shifted at the day’s end. She could see it beyond the other trees, and headed for it though she had other intentions for her journey to these lands. If she had not been torn between her uncontrolled feelings Anu may have noticed that she was not alone at the pack’s boarders. Noise and the rush of scent and the sight of a figure beside her sent surprise and sheer shock to run through her small frame.
Blue eyes looked at the spearhead, her back against the foliage littered tree branch. The heavy growl had come to late, as a warning, and Anu hadn’t been able to explain her presence before the blade made the impression that was its purpose. Her chest seized and her light colored face might have been washed of any contrast at all. The speed and swift movements of the female would be questioned when Anu could examine the situation. But all she could do was recognize the face of the creature that commanded the weapon. Had she forgotten who she was? Anu knew the trauma that she had gone through, but Onus did not mention memory loss. Standing as still as a deer frozen right before the chase, Anu hardly breathed. Her lips the only thing to move, Cwmfen.
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500+
The aggression that had arisen suddenly within her was not like the belligerence of war. In war, things were clear, sharpened in her vision. But here, it was clouded. She could see, but, as an archaic animal, she recognized nothing save for another wolf, a potential threat. The Raven Spear sung with hostility and hunger in the silence as the warrior’s snarl fading to a quiet, incessant growl that rolled as naturally as the breath of her lungs. The black wolf held her pose in the silence as if able to sense that the potential threat was still and unmoving, that the potential threat was benign. And yet, holding the Spear with her right hand alone, the wolf did not relinquish her position. There was a wild ferocity within those white orbs, and it was as if she considered attacking the one opposite her. And then the woad bound ears, already having been pressed forward with that aggression, flickered at the sound that was emitted. The sound was familiar, but its progress to the mind that understood those words was slow. Eventually, however, the archaic fog was cleared.
The sound had been a spoken name—her own name. The Dahlian Warrior blinked once in recognition, clearing away that obscuring haze. "Anu," she responded immediately, able now to recognize the scent and then the face of the female before her. The white orbs saw those eyes that held water, and her posture shifted, the hackles lowering and the Spear retracting. Hostility fell from her features, and the quiet tranquility was once more obtained. The woad bound ears flickered back apologetically. "Forgive me, Anu.... I did not mean to be so hostile." The words were spoken formally, and the Dahlian Adonis gave a brief dip of her maw. The black fae stepped toward the tree and relinquished the Spear, setting it quietly and allowing its fierce song to grow quiet within her. She did not know why such hostility had risen within her. She knew only that it had felt very primal, and that something within the environment, or perhaps something within herself, had provoked such a thing.
"I hope you don’t mind if I sit," the quiet voice sang at length. But the Dahlian did not wait for a response, for she was now within her own territory and knew that Anu was no threat to the pack or to herself. Several limping steps allowed the pregnant female to lean against the tree, to use the support of its trunk to help herself to the earth. The female was silent as she moved, even this simple feat a great effort. She was careful to retain the extension of her right leg so as to not provoke the wound upon her thigh, her left arm, without strength for the wound on her neck, supporting her growing stomach. When finally the simple objective had been reached, the warrior turned her white gaze to the female with eyes like the water. "What brings you to Dahlia?" The quiet words held no sign of the difficulty or of the pain of her movements. Such a thing came effortlessly now, a thing that she had learned to do long ago in order to conceal her physical weakness.
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Perhaps Anu had been to unwelcoming when Cwmfen came to her boarders, shunning her from the comfort of her home and its security. Anu felt guilt, it had settled in her chest the moment she had made the decision. Spiking the moment she had seen Onus, and now again as the dark warrior held her at the edge of the spear. Her eyes looked down to it and away from her face, waiting for it to pierce her gut. When she did looked at the face that resembled her acquaintance Anu was socked at the expression and the veil that covered her eyes. As barren as they might seem the white orbs held violence that Anu was not entirely familiar with. Though she had become more aggressive herself as of late, Anu was not used to being at the opposing end of it. The sounds of her name, and the lowering of the weapon restarted her heart but the female could not help but take a step away the moment she was able to. If the female hated one thing it would be the use of a blade. Knives and swords were not something that she could ever understand.
She shook her head, recovering from the daze. No, I understand. She said with voice still in shock and holding an uncontrolled tremble. The woman returned to her body, and Anu could see it in her eyes and posture. It was then that she saw the roundness of her form, and the wounds the dotted her skin. Of course not she responded, glad to be able to take the weight off her shaking legs. The Crimson Dreamer watched as she limped to the base of the elm, and did not settle herself on the ground beneath the low branches until she was seated. Her question came as a second thought, engrossed in make sure that Cwmfen made it safely. She looked hurt and very pregnant, and Anu found it hard not to go to her aid. She could use a shoulder to lean on, hold for support and someone to rub the ache that she no doubt felt in her legs and shoulders.
But, Anu sat uneasily still. Thinking over the question she found that she could not hide the truth. I came looking for Colibri. Her soft voice betrayed her as it usually did, and Anu followed quickly with But, I am glad to have bumped into you. A smile showed that what she said was honest, Its good to see you have made it back to Dahlia, they must have been very worried. and then Anu realized that her words might seem odd, out of place and missing some pieces. I found Onus, in the city while you recovered there. To thank him for Mati. maybe that would explain just a little bit of it. Anu was indeed glad to see her, even if it hadn’t been her intention to find her.
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Sorry for the rambling!
700+
It disturbed the warrior how easily the control had slipped away. Her soul was in turmoil, the tranquil waters now a slowly churning maelstrom. For the warrior, even that slow movement within the waters of her soul was momentous; yet she could not yet understand the source of such a thing. The weakness, both physical and mental, that the woad marked female now experienced was unfamiliar, and such a thing frustrated her. She wondered suddenly why she had even left her den. The instability within her made her unfit to carry out her duties. Everything was compromised. Perhaps it was better that she had encountered Anu and not some strange or hostile creature.
When Anu spoke the name of the one that was sought, Cwmfen thought that she could hear something familiar within the other’s voice. But like a seed carried upon the wind, that something escaped her. "Colibiri?" The alto voice was quiet, almost inaudible. Her mind swiftly sifted through the names of the members of her pack, their faces, their scents. She remembered then—Colibri Haki, Haku’s blood. "I’m afraid that I don’t know where she is," the Adonis responded, unknowing of any prior visits that the grey and tawny female had made to her packlands. "There are few wolves that I know well, even within Dahlia." And then her voice faded into silence. Perhaps, as Adonis, she should have become familiar with every member, but she had not. She knew their faces, but she knew not their specifics. Her first duty was to protect the pack and its members, she believed, and so she did what she believed that she must to do so. It was dangerous for one to become attached to others, especially when, for a warrior, Death was so inescapably near.
There was a quiet intensity within those eyes, and with it was a quiet question. She wondered how Anu knew, but she was not worried. The warrior had nothing to hide, as she never did. While silent, while solitary—or perhaps she was solitary no longer—the female was an open creature. The black fae had said a few things upon what would be done when she had first encountered the blue eyed female at the boarders of Crimson Dreams. And she did not know who knew and who did know, and she did not know how much was known or how little was known. And yet, Anu’s words enlightened the question that had been held within her white eyes. She had heard from Onus. A silent nod was given to the Crimson Dreamer and a soft flicker of a smile. Onus was not one to speak to those who did not concern his mission, and she knew that the masked vigilante was one who trusted very few individuals. The woman trusted Onus, and if Onus trusted Anu, she could trust her too. It was strange how she believed that she must trust not too deeply in others. And yet now she trusted deeply the man that she loved, and she knew how dangerous a thing love was.
"There are a great many things that I should thank him for as well," the woad female finally replied. But I cannot find the words sufficient, and now there is no action that I can take. The litter in her stomach, the litter that made her heavy and clumsy, felt like an obstacle, and it was an obstacle that she did not know how to overcome. Briefly, the white orbs turned down to consider her own round belly. There was not resentment in those eyes but a simple contemplation. There was life in their, she could feel it. How could she turn life away? She was not disgusted that she had to carry the black seed of the crow wolf within her, for that had been of her own weakness. She was disgusted that another man, a man that she loved and that loved her, had to watch it grow within her. Could there be a betrayal greater?
The woman was silent. The silence that clung to her throat was as it had been upon her arrival to these lands nearly a year ago. The woman looked back to the other female as she wondered what the Morrigan had planned for the litter within her. Silently, she wondered how much Onus had shared with Anu. Silently, she remained unspeaking as if forgetting how to form the words. At length the warrior asked, "How is Mati?" believing it to be the more important question.
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lovely as always, mine… not as long XD
The shadowed ground she sat upon was soft and cool, the shade refreshing for the female who had traveled quite a distance. A cushion of grass and clover lay beneath the pair, while the elm and its long heavy hovered above. She found comfort under the tree, and soon the rattled female was as calm as she had been the moment she left her home boarders. Though her heart skipped slightly when her voice spoke out the young female’s name. Eyes were drawn to her face, having drifted down for a thoughtful moment, listening as she spoke of Coli. Anu nodded softly, I am afraid she might be avoiding me. she spoke insecurely. A weak smile finished the sentence. She hadn’t thought of that before, the words just coming out like that as if they had a mind of their own.
Hoping to show that it wasn’t painful at the least bit, Anu smiled full and true at the black furred woman as she talked of Onus. He was something incredible, and Anu would be in his debt till her death. He had saved the life of her child, and no doubt the lives of many more by slaying the monstrous wolf. And there were all his other good deeps, his mere presence in ‘Souls eased her fears. It was kind of her to think of Mati, as she was in turmoil herself. She is better. the mother was glad that she could say that with confidence. The young woman was indeed moving forward, though she had moments when it was obvious she dreamt of the black collared male and his ferocity she was also had moments of happiness. Blue eyes looked to the woman, and meekly asked, And how are you? Anu didn’t know why she needed to know, or if she only wanted to. But there was concern in her heart for the expecting mother, and for whom she believed was the father.
Anu didn’t know much, and never know everything. She could only believe. And she believed that Cwmfen carried the vigilante’s children.
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Short is fine with me! And your posts are relevant anyway~~ <3
500+
"How can you be certain," the female countered, "until you find her?" Cwmfen thought that she knew the name of that which she had heard in the voice that had uttered the name of Colibri. And Anu’s uncertainty was one that she had known as well. Cwmfen had been unfamiliar with the concept of love, with the power of that emotion. The night she had first shown Onus what he meant to her, when he lay in that bed and when she had kissed him, the woman had worried that he would not accept her. But she had not known. Such an unvoiced question had been answered only when he had appeared upon the shores outside of Dahlia. But she knew also that extent of such uncertainty, of the timidity that it invoked.
Cwmfen merely smiled with relief. Her head fell back against the tree. Neither the girl nor the mother, nor the other victims of her father, had to worry about Corvus Vendetta any longer. He was dead. She did not know how and could not recall when. She recalled only the sudden weight that seemed to be lifted from her, and she recalled only that Onus had come to her side. But the presence of Death within that sanguine room was unmistakable. As a quiet sigh escaped her lips, Anu asked a question in turn, and the black fae turned her face to look at her.
"I’ve seen better times," the alto melody replied, though her words seemed to be spoken seriously rather than lightheartedly. A faint smile was given to the female with eyes like water. "Once more I have managed to elude Death." Of course Death would have come slowly for her. Perhaps, had the crow wolf succeeded, she would have been killed a year from the birth of his litter. But he had not succeeded, and it was he who had been killed. "I hadn’t expected Life to be so generous." Indeed, although she had not doubted Onus, she had expected to be wrapped in that cloak of abysmal darkness, though not without a final struggle. She knew that her life meant very little in relation to the world, and that her death would mean very little. Perhaps to certain individuals, she would have meant something.... But while she could not overcome her father, Onus had, and she had forced the two in that final confrontation.
The silence persisted as her gaze returned to the roundness of her belly, those white eyes tracing over the woad line that traveled to her navel. Her fingers moved along it as if her body were unfamiliar. And perhaps it was. This path of life was not one she had ever intended to take, but regardless of her wishes she had stumbled upon it. She knew that this path had no way back, and so she continued forward. "I am resolved with what has happened," the quiet melody continued, her words slow as if she chose her words with great care or as if she struggled to recall the proper order. It was true. She had been resolved from the moment she had vowed to end the pain her father had caused upon the lives of others. But... "But I feel that for another..." Words failed to express what she wished to convey. These thoughts would not obey her as weapons would obey her. The white orbs looked up, peering gently into the other’s gaze. She wanted the other to understand what she could not form into words.
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<3
Her words were true, there was no way to know until Anu spoke with her. But she still did not know why the question haunted her. She wanted to be finished with such things, the paying of hearts and the toils of fools in love. But then, as she though deeply and for more then a mere haste filled moment it was all she wanted. The woman needed to feel the ache and the searing pain, if it meant the pleasures of love. You are right. Anu admitted, her voice lighter then it had when speaking of her packmate. It was hope that lightened her tone, though Anu was a fool in such beliefs. Her emotions played with her fragile being, toying and committing her to a series highs and lows that would surely put her in her grave.
There was a loss of tension in the younger woman’s form. As if a great knowledge had just been placed in her hands. Knowing that her daughter was healthy was not like the gift that the woad female had granted Anu, and the rest of the packs. The beast had plagued them all, and very few had been untouched. She could not gather the courage to address it, to say her thanks and apologize for sending her away. It would be easy to invite her back, now that things were settled and seemly safe, but Anu would not do that either. Instead she remained quiet, letting the female release whatever emotion needed to be brought forth. She had been glad for the audience she held with Onus, and very grateful to speak to Cwmfen as well. Anu understood that he was not always welcome here, and wanted to check on the soon to be mother. If not for the male… then to ease her own concern. Generosity tends to come just when we need it most. Anu spoke, though in her mind she knew he had withheld some generosity on her own.
Anu stood, and stepped close. She sat closer beside the female, blue eyes watching her face and determined to find what was hidden within. Her words were unsure and lacked the confidence, the tranquility that they had held the last time they spoke. And then they were conversing about her father, may Hades be burning his retched soul, and her words hardly faltered. Conscious seemed shrouded, a haze that blocked her from the world Anu lived in. Though after such trauma what else was expected? Anu felt her ears moving forward, as if she would understand better. She was silent, thinking them over again and again. It wasn’t easy to see what the pale orbs spoke. There was little to read beneath her pelt and in her posture. And then her own voice spoke, He loves you so very much. Anu was sure she didn’t need to say the words, sure that such things were made obvious between them. But at times one needed to rethink that the fact in their mind, say the words I know as if the bond had been questioned, or the feeling tested somehow.
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700+
The woad marked female was content that her words seemed to assuage Anu. It was not often that such words were accepted in such a way—often, as with Sankor, though she could not understand why—her sincere efforts to socialize in such a way were thwarted. The white orbs strayed to the roots of the elm, the woad bound ears swiveling to hear the voice of the beautiful wolf with whom she shared company. Generosity. The warrior could not understand that such generosity would come in such a way. She believed that generosity would come only when the gods saw it fit to employ such a thing. There had been no generosity for Ril’o, but perhaps he had served his purpose in life. And perhaps she had not yet fulfilled her purpose. Perhaps that was why the generosity of Life had been shared with her once more. It was a more practical view upon the workings of the world, but such stoic practicality often was a requisite for those who followed a martial path.
For a moment the woman was still—Anu must know of their love for each other as well. A soft smile moved across her maw, dancing faintly as if remembering how. She was not accustom to hearing that word, though she had heard it often from her lover’s lips. Of all the emotions, it was love, not anger or hate, that moved her. For that, the black warrior was able to believe that she could resist the blackness of the crow wolf that had been brushed against her soul. "The only regret that I would have had would have been to leave him behind." She knew the intensity of his love, had felt it like a hot fire within her. But did he know the intensity of her own? It made her resist Death where once Death was a familiar, almost welcoming presence, for the only death of a warrior was upon a battlefield. He made her greedy for him, and having never felt greed she felt her greed for him move through her with an uncontainable torrent. With him she could show weakness that could not be shown even with herself. Where once she had been content with her solitude, she could be content now only while at his side. And yet, for these inexplicable things, she felt as if she had not allowed him to know.
The white orbs sought those aquatic eyes. "A warrior is not meant to bear life," the soft voice said suddenly. A warrior could protect life. A warrior could accompany death. But to bear life? A warrior was rendered useless, and she felt at a loss. Perhaps if her Dreams were not so chaotic, she would be able to understand. "This litter may have been created of Darkness, but it is life nonetheless...." Was she not required to protect this life as well? But the warrior considered the little that was growing within her, her hands cradling her large abdomen. "Nemain tells me that this is a gift," she said as she looked up at the female, the serenity of her face somehow hollow, "and yet it seems so bittersweet."
The soft Caledonian lilt faded into silence. It was difficult to express herself properly. The woman, although she had socially grown, still experienced such difficulties. She wanted to say that her discontent grew from the betrayal she felt that was committed by her body’s harboring of a growing seed not of Onus. She could endure the discomforts of motherhood for which she had not been created. And yet, even if she had been gifted this life, she could not understand why the Morrigan would hinder a warrior’s path. She knew nothing of the care of young.... at least, within the pack, Alexey was fit for such a thing, and the warrior could trust that female with her young and the other youths of the pack. And yet, at once, the black fae was curious about the path upon which she now tread. It was as if she could see the path upon which she had once traveled and knew that she would find it again. For now, she could do only what life would allow her to do.
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The silver tinted female understood so little about death. Only the vague meaning came to her mind as she thought of it. She did not know if it’s harsh tendencies, its greed and the inevitable peace. Could death truly be welcomed? Could it be salvation and the start of a brand new beginning? Or as it black and never-ending darkness? Of all the things Anu did not know about the Death Cwmfen understood, she knew about life. Anu knew the rights and wrongs the living brought. The pain and pleasure, the heartache. She was familiar with the blessings and the curses. She was no killer, but planted seeds and tended to them. She was a creator, a nurturer. Every aspect of living had yet to be experienced, but Anu could turn them over in her mind and understand. Questions arose and made her wonder, but, as she looked to the woman whose stomach showed her condition plainly, Anu understood. She always tried to, and if her own pain and selfishness did not blind her she usually succeeded in her effort. She saw the smile; maybe she had said something of worth. She watched her, taking in the bright eyes that locked onto her without mercy. Anu felt how delicate she had become, even if the warrior could not see it herself. And her words were soft and as slight as her figure. He would have left with you. Such a things was a choice of life too, not of death. It was a choice of living without. Onus would have died saving her or seeking revenge, that much Anu understood about the mysterious male.
The gardener and quiet defender looked at the spear wielding fey, her words almost lost to the sound of rustling leaves. She had traveled all the way to the boarder, defending it as if she wasn’t heavy with child. What Anu knew of a warrior’s life matched that of Death, but such things went hand in hand and so she could know neither. Cwmfen opened, giving Anu more then she had expected. She spoke of the monster, and Anu did not argue as she had with Onus. She had been ruthless to him, in her own opinion. She had let her voice rise in a way that she never had before him. It wasn’t often that Anu let her temper get out of her control, there were very few that brought such things out of her. Instead of being a shoulder to lean on, she had spoken as if he had no faith. But maybe there would be hope in his heart. But she was too weak of a beast to plant such beliefs in someone as strong willed as the masked man, or this woman. Life that should be celebrated. She spoke with a smile, she needed to try. To be a mother was something wonderful, even if the circumstances had been far from it. Still, Anu could not remove the belief that she carried the gift of her lover.
Yes, bittersweet. To taste the pain and the pleasure. To have something inside that brought memories of the pain she had endure was beyond Anu. But she was bold in her words, Does it feel like it, the darkness? Her eyes looked to the marking that accented her stomach. Would she be able to feel it? The power that possessed the monster, would it fill her too? Anu let her eyes return to the woman, maybe there was no way to tell.
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500+
The white orbs flickered, almost tentatively, to the grey and sandy fae when she spoke those words. The warrior’s eyes said that she understood that, and for that reason she would have regretted her own death. Rarely, she would wonder if she had done Onus a dangerous thing for allowing him to recognize their love for each other. Had she never approached him, the love that she felt could have continued unnoticed. But she had decided, just as he had, that they could allow themselves the luxury of their love. She had never known the impact of such a thing upon her life, but her love for him was the most important. She regretted nothing. The warrior knew that as long as she lived, he could continue upon his mission. Even if she had been taken by the Darkness, he would have continued.... He did not allow even love to compromise his mission.
The black fae nodded, a lighter smile able to grace her maw. Regardless of what was wished, this litter contained her own blood as well. And yet, the primeval part of her mind, the part that she had lived with for the first year of her life, considered the matter with simplicity that she could understand. The life within her was simply that: life. That life could have the strength to continue on in that simple need of the wild. For now, until she could better understand this part of life, that instinctual perspective would be enough. "I will cherish it," she replied quietly. If anything, it was disrespectful to discard a gift, and this gift had been gifted by the goddess she followed. Sinister or benevolent, the gods would give only what was necessary. The black fae could do what was necessary, what was required of her.
"I don’t know," the woman admitted quietly. The white orbs turned to consider her belly once more. "There was too much blackness...." Then, as the woman recalled that night, she grew silent. The Caledonian-Korean experienced sexual intercourse in a peculiar was, and with each climatic moment, she felt as if the two souls brushed against one another. Corvus’ soul had been empty, a hollowness so cold that it scorched her. "Sometimes I forget what the Light feels like." It was as if she walked in twilight, listening to the song of dying suns and rising moons. It was a beautiful, melancholy song, but it was not the same as the light of day. She could not recall that song. She could hear it—even now she felt that it was there—but she could not retain its melody. Her head tilted indiscernibly as if she tried to listen. "When I’m with him," and now it was certain that the ‘him’ of which she spoke was Onus, "I can remember...." Her voice was quiet, almost contemplative. Her hands drank in the warmth of her body and of the lives that stirred within her. She thought that she could see a brightness, but she did not know if that were merely the presence of Life itself.
She looked back to Anu. Perhaps there was no male within the litter to carry on the destruction that Corvus had begun. Perhaps, as her mother, she would birth females. But whatever happened, she knew that Onus would be there for her. That certainty allowed her much relief and comfort. She did not want to be alone in this, not when she knew so little of this arena of life. "Will he accept the pups that are not his?" Still she wondered, unable to ascertain the masked vigilante’s thoughts. Would he accept them? Or would he watch quietly from a distance, watching for the demon of the Korean’s seed to make itself manifest? But then, even she would be careful to watch.
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What she had spoken about with Onus about had been between them, and no one else. She found it hard though, as she sat beside the female, to not give her the words he had spoken. To say the things that she had said to him, they would not fit here. They were not right. Anu kept them guarded, feelings suddenly like she held a piece that was missing between them. But maybe they had all the pieces, but that was rare. Anu looked to at the small, soft smile on her face. She saw that Cwmfen found joy in the life that was growing within her. Secretly Anu wished to feel that as well, to know what it would be like to be the soil that folds and nurtures the seed. Such things were beyond her reach; she doubted she would ever be so blessed
The words were quiet, but Anu found them heavy with emotion. She had not wanted to bring the memories back, not wanting to force the darkness upon her as she fought to free herself from it. There was an apology in her gaze, sorrow and unhappiness that could not be see elsewhere. To have what she has, to know where the light could come from was significant. Maybe even if the dark enveloped her, there was a place of retreat, a place of sanctuary in his presence. Her question was what Anu focused on. But she let the silence grow as she thought about it. A smile could be felt on her face. it was easy to form, but Anu did not nod in answer. Yet her voice came at first as a whisper, I have always believed in Onus. Her optimism was not appreciated in ever situation, and she hesitated as she spoke, this time her voice beyond just as a whisper. It is not my place, Cwmfen, Anu began. I do not mean to bring bad memories forward., the apology spoken as she looked away.
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She nodded quietly, a soft smile upon her maw. "He is like the black blade of Justice." Unlike those who spoke of what should be done with the best of intentions, unlike those who acted without the conviction required to make a difference, Onus never faltered. He killed those who had wronged others, killed them with his bare hands in a way with which the warrior was unfamiliar. And yet, he was not cruel. He was not a murder. And he never lost himself in the void, able to live in the darkness of the city night. Pleads of mercy would not stop him, she knew. And yet, how gentle his hands were with her, how bright his black eyes. And how dark her own seemed now. "But will not a child of darkness deserve to fall beneath that blade?" But her words were ambiguous, as if she spoke of the litter within her, but as if she spoke of herself too. The woman had always been sure that the blackness that rain in her veins and the rage of her mother would one day rise within her being. Perhaps it was a thing that was simply dormant.
The soft smile that was held upon the warrior’s woad bound maw did not falter. "Do not worry," the quiet voice offered the woman. She believed that Anu had not intended for her words to invoke the memories of that night. But the invocation of such memories could occur by a single word, by a single scent, or by a single, stray thought. "I have been there before." The soft words were spoken as if they explained everything, as if that made everything okay. But the warrior... she had been dipped in that darkness before. She was familiar with that blackness as she was familiar with the land. That, nevertheless, did not make the experience any easier or more tolerable. Indeed, this time she had experienced something of a denser blackness. Only her resolve to move beyond her own fear and beyond her own need for life had made it possible. It had been one thing that had been done that belied the instincts that were so acutely followed by the warrior. Perhaps it would be the last time she would be compelled to do such a thing. Perhaps the world could be a place in which others could live more comfortably. For those who committed crimes, they had Onus with whom to contend. She was but a simple warrior that protected her pack.
The white orbs turned out to the dim world beyond the shadow of the elm. Her gaze seemed to consider the grasses and the intangible boarder, but her mind considered something else, remembered something else. "Without the Darkness," the quiet melody said suddenly, "how can the Light exist?" There was a brief pause. "I can endure this because it makes it possible for the Light to exist.... Without peace, there can be no war." Yes, she could endure, but simply enduring... it was not the same as living. And yet she lived too. And for this part of life, she lived not for herself, and not even for the pups within her, but for the one she loved.
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thanks for waiting<3
Anu could only respond with a nod, the words were becoming difficult now, as if she was now lost in the place Cwmfen retreated or had been forced into. Yes, without one there could not be the other. It was impossible to only have one side, it was impossible to be entirely pure. They each had evil, it was only how they acted on those impulses that divided them from those that suffered at the hands of justice. And though she forgave her, Anu still felt as if she had brought something to the surface. it could be her small amount of evil, a selfishness that had driven her to attack one she had once loved and to shun Cwmfen from her lands. It was hid in her cowardliness. Maybe it was time to bring her own demons to the front, give more then she was taking. Anu let a soft sigh escape, and the images of her past came forward.
Maybe a child made darkness can still be turned to light? Anu responded. She thought of her own four. They had the genes of a rapist, and an insane beast. They had been brought into the world of love, and none of them have shown any sign of their father. Mati and her siblings were sired by a rapist. Anu paused and looked to the woman, maybe it was time for her to know a truth Anu had not spoke of for some time. Naniko and Conri were mates, and after Naniko conceived, he raped her. I met her when she was pregnant and helped raise them. They call me mother just as they do her. There was still a place for Naniko, a good place and it was deep in her heart. Blue eyes looked at the other woman, not truly knowing darkness as she did, but she also held a place for the male that had broken her former mate and it was not a place of brightness and it was far from good. It shone in her eyes, a pain that would never leave and a passion that had never died. There is nothing dark in them, though their father was capable of such things. I would like to think it was the circumstances in which they came into the world that makes them so. Anu could never know what they would do in the future, but there was light in each of them.
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It wasn’t a long wait!
500+
"I can only hope for such a thing," the quiet melody replied. "I am a child of rape...." And my soul is bright enough to have drawn Onus. She had worked hard to ward of the darkness in her soul, and those cold winds of the icelands had stripped the darkness from her soul, polishing it. And yet, a black blemish had remained, for the crow wolf had found her as she had entered that white place, and he had raped her then, though she had been unable yet to conceive. A warning. For a moment, the white orbs closed, and she tried once more to hear their songs. But there was nothing. Perhaps the life within her was not yet strong enough. But her soul would sing to them. She could begin to urge them from the darkness and to push them away from the darkness within her. She didn’t want the litter within her to live with what she had had to live with. She would not pamper them, she would make them strong enough to survive. The black fae could give to them the childhood that she did not have, and she could love them, as mothers loved their children. Would that be enough?
The white orbs found those eyes that held the water. So Mati had almost experienced what she herself had known. It was more than relief that was felt from the knowledge that such a thing had not been allowed to occur. It was promising that her children, whether from her womb or not, had grown with the light in their souls. At the name of Conri, the woad bound ears flickered in recognition. Conri Church. It had been a name that she had only heard, and she knew only hints of what he had done. Onus had been seeking out that particular male when she had met him several weeks after Hybrid’s attack upon her. This rape must have been the reason for such a search. She knew Onus killed those who committed the crimes that Conri Church—and Haku Soul, for that matter—had committed. But Cwmfen...she was not a fighter for blind Justice as Onus was. She was simply a warrior.
But the children, from Anu’s words, had been conceived before the rape. They had been conceived without the anger and hate that her mother had felt, without her soul, drawn to the darkness within others, having been placed so near to the blackness of her father. She had felt the blackness seep into her every time. Within her, that blackness was like a black blossom waiting to bloom. But when, she did not know. It was like a slow moving poison within her viens. And now the life within her had had been conceived of it. So would what she had to give be enough? She could not suffer one like her father to be conceived from her womb.... She could do what would be required. She could kill them. And she knew that, because she knew how to steel her heart.
"Why did he rape her," the woman asked suddenly, a strange curiosity flickering in her eyes. "Did he not love her?" Love was such a strong thing, dangerous like hate and yet far more beautiful. But if there had been love, why did such a thing happen? The woad warrior could not answer that question because she did not understand. Perhaps it was because she knew nothing of this family’s story. She could understand the dissolving of a relationship, but she could not understand mateship. She could understand the binding ropes of Love, but she could not understand the concept of tying oneself in such a way as this society did. Was not love enough? Did they have to clip the wings of birds? Surely those birds would die, as it had done with Naniko and Conri. But she did not know if Anu would be willing to share such a thing.
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seemed long… XD
And so it came full circle, for the woad female. Anu had always feared for the ones she called her children. Mati, on the eve of learning about Naniko’s tragedy and her sire’s insanity, had almost been submitted to that same horrid fate. Little went missing between she and Mati, though Anu had her own secrets that she would ever tell the girl. Her fear grew for the girls, not wanting them to be victims. She wanted them to be strong, like Cwmfen, a warrior and able to fight. But even that hadn’t saved her. Could nothing keep them safe? Would they always be in danger of those that were just strong enough to over take them? Anu felt it become a weight on her shoulders. It had been some time since she had thought of Conri, and his crimes. She had met him only once, yet had asked Onus to look for him, to save them from him. But he was gone, lost somewhere and Anu still wished for him to be dead.
I don’t know his reason. Anu had never asked, so absorbed in caring for her, helping fit the pieced back into place and taking care of the children. Anu had focused on the joy that had come at the time they had met. She loved Naniko, then in the way that consumed her being, and still there was something that remained. It was not the power that it had once been, but it was present. Can you love someone, and take such a thing from them? Anu questioned, her voice soft. If he had, gods is he had, it had to have been illness that drove him to take her in such a way. Anu was no stranger to lust, and she didn’t believe that had been the motive.
Anu looked to her, a silence surrounding her and with eyes the color of a pale midday sky she watched the white gaze. She could not believe that her daughters would be raped because their mother had been. She could not believe that there was darkness growing inside a woman that shone with a light that reminded her of the sun god she followed. Anu had to believe, it was her nature to posses hope and to live in a way that would bring others the same. So she asked, Can’t they be his? Onus. Her voice soft and barely a whisper. She was instantly sorry for his words, but her eyes would not look away. For her friend, for the man that saved her daughter. For him she would have hope… and because she needed it too.
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"No," the soft voice replied with certainty. But was that true? How could she know? Love was so new to her. Love was an emotion so strong that it paralleled no other feeling within her, for all other feeling was a diluted thing, overcome by that tranquility that had been obtained when she had been resolved to follow this path that she had chosen. And love was so strong that she could not understand it. She only knew that existed, and she allowed it to move her. But how could one take such a thing from another and call it love? To say no, that love had not existed because of such disrespecting behavior, was that ignorance? Love was so complicated, so unnatural and impractical, and the black fae, who was simply a wolf, could not understand it. Her certainty faltered. She should not proceed knowing so little of the path that Love had created within her soul, but she moved forward regardless and desired that masked man.
And in the end, did the answer matter? The world continued to turn, and she would keep walking. In the end, was life not that eternal struggle towards survival of the self and of her species? Perhaps that simple fact had made her pregnancy tolerable. It was that simple fact that would allow her to kill her own young should that blackness be insurmountable. It was the more complex mind of that humanesque form that brought other conflicts to the woad female’s mind.
The white orbs watched those blue eyes with that quiet, steady gaze. That question, his name, fell upon her mind as a heavy stone within the still waters. Could they be? The woman was not sure. Would she not have known? The last time they had moved each other with that art of love had been a moon ago. Would she not have known? "I..." Her voice faltered with her uncertainty. "I can’t say.... No." She believed that she would have known, that she would have sensed a difference. But she hadn’t. There was the possibility that she had missed such a thing, for after that night with Onus she had worked herself to find both Brennt and Corvus. Yet, no other had commented on her shifting scent—but did the others know her scent well enough? There were too many variables for the warrior to be certain. She knew only that the crow wolf had not waited, and that he had raped her many times to assure that his seed would be planted within her.
And so she had said no, that she did not think that the litter could belong to Onus. The warrior could not be hopeful in that sense. Although her heart dearly desired the litter to belong to her lover, she quieted herself, knowing that such a gift would not be given to she who had run with fear, who had failed to destroy her father and had succeeded only in confronting that fear. It was dangerous to be too optimistic on the battlefield, but it was also dangerous to be too pessimistic. And so the woad marked female could do only as Anu had suggested: to celebrate the life that was growing within her. No, it would not be practical to hope. "Your hope comes so naturally," the child of Nemain offered quietly, "But a warrior will not hope as you do."
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if you want, we can wrap it up... or continue XD
They agreed, love could not bring such pain. Only that lack of it, the withdraw and the loss could bring such hurt and unhappiness. She was not sheltered from its pain, feeling it even now when Anu had been certain that her mind and soul moved beyond those that had hurt her. Though for Anu there was nothing more natural then love, nothing more pure and an emotion more intense. Hate would never be. And such things did matter, the knowledge could change a soul, could change the outcome of life itself. It was love that allowed life, and it was the love that came without hate that allowed two to come together and bring untainted life into the world. It mattered more then they would ever understand. The world would turn with or without them, but their own world could be ended with the change of love, with the gift of it or its removal. When one allowed it to touch them so deeply and completely, that was when they truly lived and when their world could be altered by it.
And where her lover had said yes, she said no. With a certainty that moved to crack the heart of the Crimson wolfess. Her mind fought to move passed the answer, finding that there was little left for Anu to think of. She looked away, not in disgust but in confusion. She couldn’t understand how she didn’t want to believe it. Why not? Why not think that the life that grew had been placed there before. Did her own mind rely on the fantasy of life, the wishes and dreams that she could not see reality standing right in front of her? Anu was so unsure that at the dark coated fey’s words she could not return her eyes to her face. Instead she sat, focusing on relaxing her body. She had grown tense, and found it unnecessary to place so much judgment on someone that she couldn’t understand. A long exhale allowed her to look at the bright gaze, a smile returning to her face. She felt sorry that a warrior could not have hope, but… You will be more then a warrior, soon enough Cwmfen. Her words were warm, accepting and Anu was finally began to understand. It was ok, such hope would come in time.
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I would have replied to this sooner, but I got busy, OnO
Sure, I don’t mind, ^=^ And if you could PM me after you’ve read it, that would be awesome, ^=^ Thank you~~ <3
500+
Anu looked away, but the warrior held her own gaze steady, those pale orbs shifting to follow that sudden movement. It was as if she were seeking to know what it was that crossed Anu’s mind. The woman with eyes like the water had grown tense, but why the woman couldn’t understand. She could not see the eyes of the other, and she could not know what it was that moved through her. The woman was silent, her mind lingering upon the first time Corvus had raped her and the second time he had. They had been quite different, but that was to be expected, she thought.... And yet, it had not been different in the expected way. But that fragile thought was shattered when the woman’s gaze returned to her.
Those white orbs considered the other with a soft contemplation. Would she be more than a warrior? Or would she be less? With this pregnancy, and, no doubt, with the litter that had yet to be born, the woman had and would have less freedoms as a warrior. It was a complicated thing for the warrior to contemplate, for it was not the life within her that she found troubling but simply the tasks that involved that life and hers. She wondered if that were selfish, for that was not her intent. She simply wished to do what her soul sang for her to do. She knew nothing of motherhood—was war even proper blood with which the pups should be born? Graine had been a warrior, but the song had not sung so strongly within her mother as it did within her. That song of war, of violence and of battle, was the only song she had known upon the fields of ice. It was all that she needed to make her live and breathe, and it made that bitter cold so bearable and beautiful. And so she would be held from that life for a long while. And perhaps that will keep her closer to home, she thought with mild optimism, if only to grow familiar with her packmates.
The woman heard the warmth of the other’s voice, and she could not help but to remember the importance of life. She knew the strangeness of holding life within her body now, knew the strange contentedness that she felt from such knowledge. Her fingers felt that strange warmth of her stomach that was so different from her own, different because it belonged to someone else. Perhaps Anu was right. Perhaps there was something more to this than the warrior’s mind was willing to see. She was no longer alone with simply that song of war to move her heart. She had love now with Onus, and she had that life within her. "Perhaps you’re right," the alto melody said at length, and her maw moved with a faint smile. She would try to see what Anu could see because she wanted to give to her pups what she did not have, and she wanted to give them life that could be better than it would have been should Corvus had succeeded (and, she realized, should Onus had died). She could give them that chance. "Thank you, Anu." The warrior was not accustom to being spoken to in such a way, but she felt the heaviness life, if only marginally, from her.
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