[html]
omg, thank god i made it with plenty of time! XD
The rain had slowed to a drizzle, leaving the newly shifted female in a haze. The rain had socked her mane, leaving the round tall fey resembling a drowned rat. Her wavy hair lay heavily on her shoulders, as did the article she held weighed down her hand. Violet eyes looked blankly into the forest, the lightly wooded area smelled heavily of the nearby pack and Mati followed it mindlessly.
She had never done this, and the girl was lost as she stepped over exposed roots and bent to avoid low hanging branches. Her lips felt different, almost like they weren’t even there, and her throat burned. She blinked heavily, clearing he vision and tried to gather her scattered mind. She thought about her mother, her sister. The pups and Cambria. So much had changed, and Mati wasn’t even sad. She was angry, and that was what made her heart so heavy.
It was fatigue that sent her into a daze more then the few sips of the sweet tasting liquor that she held. It was sweet and bitter all at the same time, and unlike anything she had ever consumed. That wasn't hard though, having only enjoyed fresh water and a variety of prey. But for once she just wanted to relax, and more importantly she wanted her brother.
Her paws hit the beach, and the ocean came into view. She stood still, watching it and letting the sea winds hit her face. She looked down at the bottle in her hand, exhaling heavily and turning to search for her brother’s house. His scent lingered along the beach, but it wasn’t hard to narrow it down. As she got closer, and the cabin came into view the news that she had to tell her brother began to rumble to the surface. Keeping back the tears that she felt burning at the corners of her eyes Mati approached the door, calling softly.
"Haven"
[/html]
[html]
The youthful hybrid had tossed in turned in bed ever since heading to bed that night. Usually he would drift into sleep easily, but it appeared tonight that wasn't going to happen. He had been stubborn though, rolling around for a couple hours, willing his body to rest. Finally though that became maddening and he threw off the covers and walked into the small living room, grabbing one of his books on his way. Ideally he would have wanted to either practice his guitar or swordsmanship, but Siobhan was sleeping and it was still raining out, making both impossible. So reading it was. Not that he minded reading, he just needed to improve more on the other two things.
The quaint little house was silent, save for the drizzling of the rain outside and the occasional flickering of the candle he had lit to allow himself to read. One of his many books talking about knights and ladies and royal courts. This one was almost more focused on the courtly intrigue than many of his others, though it would probably be useful. He was Majordomo, which meant he was the pack's ambassador. He felt more comfortable in his role as Knight, but he needed to fulfill all the duties that Jacquez had assigned to him.
If it hadn't been so quiet than Haven might have very well missed his softly called name on the other side of the door. The Aatte started, hardly expecting any visitors at this hour. Even more surprising, and alarming, was that was no member of the pack. That voice could only belong to his sister. Quickly he got up from the couch and went to the door, opening it. His mind hadn't been playing tricks on him, it was Mati. "Mati? Wha...what are you doing here?" Shocked as he was he stood to the side, beckoning her to enter. "Come on, you're going to catch a cold." What would bring her here in the rain so late at night?
[/html]
[html]
Eyes looked at the heavy wooden door, but couldn’t look for more then a moment. It stared back at her, forcing the girl to look away. He probably didn’t hear her, or was sleeping. How could she come so late? The woods would be a fine place to spend the night, and she could return in the morning without the schnapps on her breath. But she wanted him to know, and the outdoors were far from inviting.
Ears made out the sound of movement behind the heavy door, just as she was about to turn and leave. It moved, and the soft moonlight entered the doorway, her form casting a shadow over her brother that stood before her. He looked surprised, as she expected he would. As he asked, the Church girl walked in, trying to play a smile on her face.
“Hey Haven.” Her voice sound meekly.
“I didn’t mean to come by so late.” She let the apology slip through her lip easily, the first of many she was sure.
The rain washed female stood just beyond the doorway, bottle at her side and eyes on her brother. She wanted to cry, but still the tears were managed and held back.
“I just saw Nani.” The girl began, leaving the name of endearment off from her mothers. Mati didn’t know how she felt, and if she even wanted to call her that. She still loved her, but it hurt so much to do so.
“she’s been thrown out of the pack.” Her voice continued, standing beside him. It hurt so much to want her back, and it hurt to think of what she had done. Violet eyes looked at his face, she had missed him.
She blinked, and began to cry.
[/html]
[html]
As his sister walked in and began to speak Haven caught a whiff of something upon her breath. Something familiar and also quite unexpected, at least not from her. Gods, what was going on? Immediately his gaze turned downwards to glance at her hands and saw what he was dreading. A bottle was held in one hand. Now he didn't have a problem with drinking entirely, if it was a good, happy occasion then it was fine. But using it for a coping device was not right as he had learned the hard way, and it was clear to him that whatever had brought her here was no cause for celebration. Jade eyes looked up into the violet of his sister. "Mati, why are you drinking?" He held out his hand. "Give me that, please." He didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like it.
Bi-colored ears perked at the mention of their blood mother. He hadn't seen her for so long. Not since before he had run away and he hadn't had the courage to come face to face with her after. One of the fears that held onto him the strongest was that whenever Naniko saw him she thought of Conri. He couldn't stand that thought and didn't want to cause her any pain. But if all of the things he had already seen had shocked him, the next words were like a punch to his gut. Their mother...thrown out? What? No...no she had to be mistaken, but this was no joking matter and he knew that she wasn't pulling his leg. "What?" Haven couldn't believe it, simply couldn't believe it. What the hell had happened?
For the moment though his sibling's tears distracted him and he quickly moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. How could their mother have been thrown out? She was the Commander...
[/html]
[html]
I love them.
She made two more steps into the small house, letting eyes fall to the fixtures of the room. Tear filled her view, falling to her face as she tried to blink them away. His question made her ashamed, and she couldn’t manage the courage to look at him. Instead she looked to the long necked bottle, closed her eyes and thought about handing it to him. She was sorry she had brought that here too, sorry that she brought it into his house after finding him in the bar. She was ashamed that she could not learn form his mistakes, but she held onto it. Opening her eyes Mati found the nearest table surface and placed the bottle down. She hated to ignore him, but for a moment she just needed to keep everything that she had.
Words tried to form, but her voice would not allow it. Instead she stood in silence, and let her brother wrap his arms around her. She fell into him, letting the tears fall and giving the anger and unhappiness she was feeling to her brother. She thought of their mother, her face and how changed she was. “She’s sick Haven.” It was all she could say for a long moment. When she had recovered control The earthen toned girl pulled herself away and found the nearest chair and sat. “She had been doing drug, some sort of powder.” Mati paused to breathe, feeling the weight of the news lift off her shoulders.
“A few days ago, one of Savina’s puppies got into it and she got sick. Savi and momma Anu had to kick her out…” A ragged voice spoke as eyes looked back to him weakly.
[/html]
[html] I do too ^^
It was a tense moment as his sister refused to look at him and continued to hold onto the bottle. God, why did she have to drink? It was bad enough that he had shared that certain habit with Brooklyn before it had become a serious problem with him, but he didn't want Mati to have the stuff. At least not in a situation like this. Once you started down that path it was an incredibly slippery slope and not something that was easy to give up. Haven wished that she would just give it to him and they could focus on what was really bothering her, but finally she set the bottle down on a table and that was good enough for him. For now at least. He didn't want her taking it with her.
To and outsider it would have been a somewhat comical picture. Haven comforting Mati who more or less towered over him. But there was nothing funny about this moment. His sister was distraught and had just told him a piece of news that he never would have expected to hear in his life. Their mother had always been the leader, the alpha. Everyone in Crimson Dreams loved her. What could have happened to change all that? She's sick Haven. The words echoed through his head and he knew this was no physical illness. It was the kind of sickness he had had. As Mati pushed away and sat on a nearby chair he looked at her with hollow eyes and limp arms dangling at his sides. Drugs? Haven knew little about drugs, but he knew that they were even worse than alcohol.
Though the next part was definitely the worst. She had actually endangered one of the new pups? She had been keeping that foul stuff around the pack? Suddenly his knees felt weak and he let himself walk over to the couch and slump back down onto it. He ran his hands over his face and through his mane. "...why?" It was all he could manage to ask.
[/html]
[html]
xD
The young woman looked down, suddenly feeling like her head would explode. Was it the crying? Or could it be the alcohol? Mati didn’t know, and couldn’t tell the difference. Her breathing had never been one of her more stable assets, and she struggled to calm the tension in her chest. Placing a hand on her chest and felt it ease, like a hand unclenching. The girl inhaled deeply, the air soothing the pained organs. Tear filled eyes looked at her brother, and she reframed from telling him she missed him. That she had wished he had been there and that maybe their mother wouldn’t have done this if he had. She looked away from him as she thought it; such a lie was like poison. It wasn’t anyone fault, right? It wasn’t his, and it wasn’t hers.
“I don’t know.” She said, though his question wasn't specific, as she tried to control her tears. Mati didnt know why any of this had happened. Wiping them from her face Mati gathered the emotions she had strewn out over his cabin floor and spoke again. “But she has been doing it for awhile, and she’s addicted.” her voice held a harder tone. There was that anger again, the sadness was falling away and Mati thought back at what her sister had said and the blindness she felt Brooklyn suffered from. There was no excuse, and with no remorse their mother deserved banishment. “She didn’t even tell them she was sorry. She didn’t say that to Savina.” How could she not say she was sorry, want to know how the pup was, want to heal her...
[/html]
[html]
Haven's mind was a whirlwind. It hadn't felt like this since he had found out about their father. This was still different though, in some ways worse. He had never had some fairytale image of their sire. He had been the ghost that haunted the small happy family, whether they had all realized it or not. But Naniko had always been wonderful. She was their kind and strong mother. A leader, a healer. All the things a child could want in a parent. And now, to find out she had fallen so far? It was startling. Startling that someone as good as her could be dragged so low by some damn drug. Whatever she was doing, he was thankful he had never come across it during his stay in the city. The alcohol had been a struggle to get away from, he couldn't imagine the strength of that stuff.
Mati's hand on her chest signaled an alert in his mind and his ears perked up. "Are you okay?" The male was unaware of his sister's occasional breathing difficulty, so seeing her do that was surprising and a cause for concern. Though the conversation was quickly taken back to the direction of their pale mother. Addicted? Their mother an addict? Haven wasn't sure he had ever been a full blown addict, but he had come damn close. To know their mother had succumb to something to the degree she was dependent...he didn't know what to think. The hybrid's jaw dropped. "She wasn't...sorry? How...how could she do that and not be sorry?" His mother and Savina had been close as sisters, the woman was like an aunt to them all. And yet Naniko had harmed her daughter and hadn't even apologized for it?
A darker look entered those jade eyes that were so like her's. That wasn't his mother. Whatever those drugs had done, they had taken their mother from them. Yes, she was still alive, but it was clear to him that she was not the same person. Would they ever get her back?
[/html]
[html]
Maybe their family had never been perfect. Maybe you truly needed a mother and father for it to work. Mati had a hard time believing that, but look at all the things that had happened. She had been foolish enough to fall into the trap of the shadowed male, Haven once drank to forget his problems, Salem was gone without a word, Brooklyn refused to see truth barely beyond her nose and then there were their mothers. Lovers that found themselves raising the spawn of a crazed rapist, whose love could not keep them together even in good times. They had been prefect, until she looked beyond their cover and read the miles of words that spoke of their true nature.
Nodding her head Mati answered but could not look up,
“Yeah, just lost my breath for a second.”. Even with the knowledge of who they truly were Mati couldn’t help but love each and every member. She loved how they had once been, and though she didn’t love what they had become she could not picture them and say that she felt hate in her heart. It was what made her mothers actions so much more painful, Mati still loved her. Even the anger and even when Mati repeated what had happened again and again she couldn’t stop.
“She’s sorry, I know she is, inside.” though in truth Mati could only hope that she was sorry. Mati looked to her brother, knowing that she shouldn’t have brought him this.
“I’m sorry Haven, I shouldn’t have come so late, and to bring that stuff…” She let her words trail off as she pointed to the bottle. The young female felt as worthless as a drug addicted mother, thinking that it was okay for her to bring that to his house and then preach about addicts. Still Mati wouldn’t look at him,
“We’ll loose her Haven, if we haven’t already.”
[/html]
[html]
He really couldn't believe how jumbled and messed up their family had become. For so long everything had seemed so perfect to him. Maybe he had just been seeing things through the overly optimistic eyes of a pup, but still, it had felt perfect. And now look at them. All broken apart and at least half of them with some very serious problems. How had all that happened? How had they gone from the perfect little unit into something like a piece of shattered glass? It was like there was some domino effect ruling them now. One of them fell and brought everyone else down with them. Was there a way to escape it?
Haven wasn't sure he believed his sister when she said she was fine, that she had just lost her breath. It had seemed a bit more serious than that. As much as he wanted to pursue it and make her answer him truthfully he decided now was not the time. Now they had much bigger things to think about and deal with. Gods...their own mother a drug-addict, exiled from the pack. It had been a chapter of their family he never could have expected. He had always viewed his pale mother as perfect as her white coat, and now there was a deep black smudge on that image in his mind. It made him feel sick.
The youth hoped his sister was right. He couldn't imagine her not feeling guilt over what had happened. Even if it hadn't been intentional she had hurt a pup. A pup that belonged to her best friend and brother. How in the world could she not be sorry for that? But then Mati started to apologize and he slowly shook his head from side to side. "It's okay Mati. I...I'm glad you came. I'd rather you be here than alone out there. And don't worry about that, I'm stronger than I was." He tried to manage a weak smile, but failed before it had begun. Her last words made icy cold fingers wrap around his heart. "But...what can we do?" If all that had happened couldn't make her stop, what could they do?
[/html]
[html]
He would always know her, and most often he would know her better then she knew herself. Her lung indeed felt better and made her mind believe that she was fine, but she wasn’t. The ache remained and she worried that it would happen again at any moment. If she could just calm her mind and body, if only they didn’t need to discuss the sorrow of their parentage and their kin, then her chest would no longer seize in pain. The girl wanted to believe that every family was this broken, some even had to be worse. There had to those that had a father that was alive and present to rape his daughters. Mothers that ate her children fresh from the womb. Brothers and sisters that fought to the death over puphood rivalries. It could be worse, but this was hard enough for Mati to try and deal with, and as she looked at her brother she found that it was just as hard for him.
Would they ever be right again?
She was grateful that he could forgive her, and that she hadn’t put him in any danger. The peach flavored schnapps would not get anyone besides Mati drunk, but the girl did not know that. To her it was a bottle of the most lethal liquors, though very tangy and sweet. She knew he was stronger, stronger then she was for certain, but it was hard not to feel bad. She felt bad that she was crying in his house, wrinkling the blanket on the chair she sat on, visiting so late at night. Everything she did made her want to cry even harder, and nothing seemed to be right. “I don’t know. She wouldn’t even listen to momma or Savina.” and they had confronted her, taken her by surprise and still she was strong in her conviction. What would turn her around now?
[/html]
[html]
Mati would always be welcome here. Day or night, good or bad news. They were as close as siblings got and when it came to her, the door to his house would always be open. Absentmindedly his gaze traveled to the hall where the two bedrooms lay. His own was unoccupied, but the door to Siobhan's still looked shut. Hopefully she was still sleeping soundly. There was no reason for her to be brought into this situation. She had had more than her share of problems with mothers, the last thing she needed was to be made aware of his own dame's transgressions. He wondered if Mati had picked up the strength of the coyote's scent in the house yet. It wouldn't be a surprise if she hadn't. Situations like this made one look over other details.
Another heavy sigh was pushed from his chest as he leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch. She wouldn't even listen to her best friend or her former mate? Despite the facts being said to him over and over it was still just astounding. How had Naniko fallen so far so seemingly quickly. How had no one detected her problem before it had become so out of hand? Haven wasn't blaming anyone, it was just all so hard to swallow despite the fact he knew it had to be the truth. "I don't know...I mean there's only so much any of us can do. It's a decision she has to make for herself. If she'll stop or not..." No one had been able to make him stop drinking aside from himself. It depended on how far into this she was and whether or not she had the will to escape it. It was frustrating though, to be so useless.
[/html]
[html]
The Earthen hued female was beginning to feel the fatigue that situation was placing on her. She just wanted to forget that it was happening and yet her mind wouldn't allow it. Nothing could take her mind away from her mother, a soul she loved so much and still there was bitter hate that was starting to rule her feelings towards her. Green eyes that were their mother looked at her now, but Mati grew strength from her brother, as she always had. He welcomed her into his house and Mati felt that he would never reject her. She hoped that she would never do anything to give him reason to consider it.
“Who do you stay loyal to?” It was a question directed at him, she would ask that of him. But she couldn’t help but feel it herself. Who? Where was her heart supposed to belong to? Could it fall to their mother and not to those that she called pack? Those pups were the meaning of the wolves union, nothing could trump them. And still she felt disloyal by turning her back on her mother. She did not act as Brooklyn had, no there was something wrong in the dam’s actions, and yet Mati loved her. “How am I to hate her?”
[/html]
[html]
Suddenly his mind, unbidden, came back to thoughts of bad blood. For the longest time he had feared that becoming like his sire was an inescapable fact. That doing those sorts of things were somehow written into his genes. That no matter what he did or how much he avoided it, it was destined to happen. After finally talking to so many that told him that was not the way of things he had come to believe, but now he wondered again. Had he somehow been predisposed to go to a substance, in his case alcohol, to deal with his problems? Had he inherited that from Naniko? It was a question that made his blood run cold and made him want to take the bottle away from Mati even more. Haven stayed where he sat though, trying to push the thoughts from his head.
Thankfully her question gave him the distraction he needed and his hazy vision snapped back into focus. "Who do you stay loyal to?" he repeated, like he somehow needed to hear it twice. The hybrid scratched the back of his head. Family was so important...but so was a loyalty to one's pack. Who did you choose when you had to pick between the two? "Follow your heart. It'll know what's right and what's wrong, most of the time. Just because she's our mother doesn't mean she's always right." When they had been little their mothers had been pillars of knowledge and could do no wrong. But now they were almost adults themselves and they had to know the truth. That no one, not even their parents, were always right.
"You aren't supposed to hate her, she's our mother. She raised us." He supposed you were supposed to hate your father either, but he chose to ignore that. "She did something bad, but that doesn't mean you have to hate her. I don't think you can, even if you wanted to."
[/html]
[html]
She had only had a little bit of the liquor. Not even enough for a full sized beast to become drunk, she had felt better, the ache in her body softened and she was no longer as stiff and tense. But it also left a foul taste in her mouth the longer she sat, and she could sense that a pain in her head would be present in the morning. Maybe it had been that she knew Haven had found some sort of twisted comfort in the drink that made her go to it this night, but Mati had truly just found it and opened it. Such little thought had gone into it that she almost feared how easy the decision had been.
Where was her heart? The young woman opened it, and searched. It was clouded and dark, darker then she had expected. She hadn’t wanted to look, she hadn’t for sometime. But now it was necessary, so that she could know this answer and live according to it. A light did shine, small but unyielding. She found that she saw the faces of the small wolves she cared so much for. They smiled at her and in a silence that called for her for protection and love. It was there, in the lives of the children that graced her pack’s domain that held her heart.
“My heart is with the pack.” She spoke. For the pups were the pack, and thus that was where she was to keep her loyalty. When she had held Cambria, the sickness of the poison ranging like a silent storm in her blood Mati had taken a pledge and she was to live by it. And by the light within her heart. “I couldn’t hate her, even if it tried.” Mati looked at Haven and smile a weak and heartless smile. She would not hate her family. Thoughts did not venture towards her sire, for he was nothing to her. The gods had given them two mother, and their family was complete. “I never thought I would be chasing after one of them, and scolding them.” Her voice was lighter as she spoke of Anu and Naniko.
[/html]
[html]
Part of him started to wonder...if he had stayed would this still have happened? Would their mother have started taking those drugs? If he had decided to stay in Crimson Dreams instead of leaving, could it all have been avoided. But no. Haven shook his head to clear such dangerous thoughts from it. Dwelling on the "what ifs" wouldn't change anything, it would only drive him mad. Besides, he knew that he had made the right decision for himself. He couldn't be held accountable for every action a member of his family made. Naniko was an adult and she and only she was accountable for her actions.
He had known that that was where his sister's loyalty was. One's family was due loyalty as well, but when they strayed from a good course to a bad one then that right was forfeit. If he had done something bad he wouldn't expect them to stand by his side. Wrongdoings needed to be punished, in some way or another, and it appeared their mother had been reminded of it the hard way. "Then stand with them. I know they'll need you." While he had no idea of exactly what all had happened, he knew that it must be taking a toll on all of them. Such a shocking thing was not easy for anyone to take, especially when it concerned your leader. It was true that his own leader had some vices, but Jac would never bring harm down on them. He had sworn to keep their best interests at heart and he trusted the collie to do so.
Haven managed a weak smile back at Mati. Both of their expressions weren't strong, but at least they were smiling. It was better than the alternative. A soft little laugh escaped him at her words. "No, I wouldn't have imagined that either." It was a complete role reversal. But Haven knew it took great courage for a child to stand up to their parent, and Mati had done that. He was proud of her and that truth shone in his eyes. "I'll go get some blankets and you can sleep on the couch. I'm sure you need some rest," he said as he stood up and walked past her, his hand resting on her shoulder for a moment.
[/html]
[html]
done? if so... we have 24 hours. -insert james bond music-
She wished her brother had been there. Wished that he could have stood beside her as she watched the building burn and hear the curses from their mother’s lips. His strength and his honor had been needed. Needed, as she looked at the brown-coated pup, the choice words of the brother that she held so dear. And yet, he was here for her when she sought him out. No matter the time Haven had opened his home to her, and that was what she needed most now. The pack would get her support, and the pups would receive her heart. The girl would protect those that could not protect themselves, and fight whomever hoped to hurt them.
Looking at the burnt orange male she gave a smile at his welcoming words. Sleep came to her suddenly. Her eyelids were heavy and she wanted the comfort of her bed and blanket. She wished Ambrose were here to take her mind from the thoughts of her mother and take her anger away. Since the little hedgehog had entered her life, nightmares had been scarce and far from as vicious as they once were. She wondered if it was his quilled back that kept bad dreams at bay. “Thank you Haven.” She spoke as she felt his touch; sincerity filled her voice and the smile remaining on her face. Sleep would be welcomed and cherished.
In the morning she would try to slip away before he woke, hoping he would gain the sleep she had stolen from him. Maybe a little note, she thought as she lay against the soft couch, to say her thanks again and express the dreams of happiness that she was certain his house would bring her. Violet eyes wanted to close against the world, protected in her brother’s home and knowing no danger would come to her here.
[/html]
|
