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WC: 700+
Oh, she had waited too long, the season had all but passed her by...
That morning Colibri Haki had awoken to a rainstorm, one of many that month, the kind that drummed on her rooftop and blew in through the windows she had forgotten to close the night before. The rain was warm on her nosetip when she peered up to the sky, leaning through the windowframe to get a breath of fresh air. Something inside of her had given up - it was too hard to keep living, when the ones she let herself care about kept drifting away. There was still no word from Deuce or Willow, and she had come to accept that there probably wouldn't be. Henratha had stopped by several times, but she found herself hiding when he knocked on the door. There was too much guilt - her open expressions would give it away instantly if she spoke to the gentle carpenter. If she did leave the pack, she would nullify all the hard work he had offered in constructing her a greenhouse. Anu would love a greenhouse. Anu would follow her ambitions. And Anu had told her, standing amidst the swaying spring flowers, her head wreathed in sunshine like some nature goddess, that it was her turn to make a move... that it was Coli's turn to make an effort in seeing each other.
But their last meeting had left a sour taste in her mouth; she had made a mistake with the older fae, probed into her personal affairs and upset them both. If they met again, wouldn't she do the same foolish thing? Put her foot in her mouth, so to speak, and mess things up further? The introverted werewolf had retreated inside of herself, secluding herself even more than usual, trying weakly to find what it was she really wanted. Someone to lean on, that much was obvious. And that was not right. She had been a strong person once, and from time to time exhibited her own personal courage. She was an adult, and she had been through a lot, and she could hold her head high if she needed to. And it was time that she did. The rain didn't have to keep her indoors any longer, huddling like a timid field mouse. So that morning she finally opened her door and stepped outside, ready to take action.
The rain was more gentle by the time she reached the borders of Crimson Dreams, on all fours and quietly sopping. It was peaceful in the flooded meadows and beneath the rippling canopy of treetops. At her leisurely pace, the noonday sun had passed overhead by the time she settled against the trunk of a tree, heart fluttering quickly in her narrow chest. She felt small and vulnerable as a lupus, as she always had; it made her appear frail, especially with the rivulets of summer rain plastering her earthy-brown fur against her sides. She shook vigorously, trying to shed the excess water, but to no avail. What was her plan now? Haven had advised her, those moons ago, to simply howl... and Anu would meet her. It seemed too easy, too... magical. Did they still have their magic? She wanted things to be special, because they felt special together. She had never been in love before. Now she felt like she had a chance. She just didn't know how to express it... Wouldn't she come on too strong this way? What if in the past month, Anu had given up, moved on, found someone more deserving? All the old insecurities threatened to flood her again, and the small wet wolf whined aloud, hanging her head in the shadow of the tree. She needed to be stronger than this.
The flowers, she could ask about the flowers. Even if Anu waltzed up in the arms of a man - woman? - and proudly proclaimed that she would never be single again, Coli could still appear dignified if she just asked about the pink orchids they had shared... Satisfied with her escape route, the delicate female took a shuddering breath, tilted her fine muzzle to the rainclouds above, and sounded a low croon... a half-hearted howl, a questioning note that lingered in the warm air until the pattering droplets washed it away.
"Anu...?"
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<3 its sooo pretty!!
700+
She could be happy in the rain, she could absorb its life giving nutrients as her flowers did and she would be whole. If only she had been created they had, content with little more then sunlight and rain. If only it fed her soul and pumped her heart as it did theirs. The rain fell against her crown, clouds above teased and taunted, whispering of a storm. Anu looked to it, her blue eyes mirroring the cast of the gray sky. Though she could be happy in the rain there was something that it wouldn’t fill and the emptiness was taking its toll.
Changes had rocked the pack, the things of the passing months had rocked Anu to the core. Naniko was no longer her leader, just as she was no longer her mate and it felt as if she was no longer her friend. The distance she had set between them had worn away the bond that they once held. Time had healed her, and it no longer drove her nearly to tears the moment she thought of the broken love and tattered heart. Each paw step she took brought her further from the green eyed females that she had fought to love or fought to destroy her desire for. And now she was left with her hollow creation centered in her ribcage.
It still hurt to think of her though, the young fey that had graced Anu with only the briefest of kisses and the smallest of gifts. But she felt their weight, and they filled her mind so completely that to the tawny female they had become as large as life itself. Thoughts drifted towards her, daily and if Anu was weak and tired, hourly. If she let them they would rule her mind. But they were no longer the sweet warmth that they had once been. They were rejection and the bitter cold that came with it. Four paws took her away from the manor, head low as she carried herself towards the gardens. They were her only place of escape.
A call pierced her ears and picked them up. It was a hollow call, nothing more then a shell of what could have been truly felt. It was eerie, so unsure in its tone and pitch. But in the gray of the noon, and with the haze of the falling mist Anu heard the beauty in it. It shared the same place in her mind as the rain did, and it called her name. Without thought she turned, moving no longer towards her escape but right into the thick of her emotional storm. Body worked without her thoughts, and paws ran over the soaked lands while it felt like her mind had never left where she had heard the call.
Blue eyes settled at the water laden form, slowing before Anu was close enough to truly see her. Never had the woman laid eyes on her while in this form, and Anu fought to find a word that might describe her. The older fey felt vulnerable, sure that this would not be the one that searched for her and yet she had hoped. It was a secret feeling, something that she had fought and banished as the time had slipped away since their last meeting. There must be news, something that Coli needed to tell her. She feared it would be that she would never see her again, that there was a true heartfelt reason for her to stay away.
Anu did not smile, for she was more on the verge of tears then joy. With all the insecurity that the young woman had placed on her Anu had missed her. And the sight, the smell of the beautiful wolfess, forever pure in her feral form, reminded her that her feelings had never been smothered as she had hoped. Anu walked towards her, her face soft with the unease and touched with the sadness that she was sure to come. “What have you come to say Coli?” She spoke, her voice was not harsh, but weak. Anu had thought she left her with a feeling that matched her own, unsure yet warm. Say the words, Anu thought. She waited, waited for her to speak about the one that had captured her and kept her away.
Anu yet her eyes could not shield the feeling, I missed you.
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[html] 500+
She leaned against the slippery base of the tree, water quietly dripping from her sodden tail and cold nosetip. The thought to shift upwards crossed her mind, but somehow it seemed appropriate for her to visit in her lowest, smallest, meekest form. The willowy wolf could press herself against the dirt and all but disappear, should the wrong canine meet her. Or the right one. The suspenseful silence made her anxiety mount by the moment. Perhaps no one had heard her at all, and she should cry again? Or it may be more likely that she was being ignored. Denied from entry. Time to go home. Her small muddy paws clawed gently at the waterlogged moss between the tree's coiled roots, trying to distract herself from the agonizing wait.
When she glanced up again, Anu was there.
Shining blue eyes cut through the swirling opalescent haze, set in a cautious, uneasy countenance. Colibri's damp ears laid flat guiltily, ducking her head in a submissive apology. She had gotten what she wished for; Anu had come. The question was, what was she supposed to do now? She had not planned out any conversation in her mind, as she so often did, and it had been so long since they'd seen each other last - and never on all fours, either - that her heart leapt wildly in her chest, accelerated pulse distracting her attempts to form a cohesive thought. There was more silver and grey in Anu's fur, when she adopted her down-to-earth form... less like sand, and more like sandstone, then. And somehow more expressive than ever before, with the body language they had known instinctively from birth. Would it be easier to convey her desires this way? Was she fooling herself to believe that there was a need reflected in the sad gaze before her?
"I... I came to... see," she finished awkwardly, averting her stare. To see you. It had been a long walk, too long to pretend that she had merely stumbled here by accident and decided to call for a friendly face. She had some purpose, but already it was hard to put into words exactly what that was. She was fulfilling her promise, at least, to come and visit... see the lady's slipper plant in the garden... see if this place would be a more like a home...
"I said I w-would," she added in explanation, trying to backpedal, nullify her statements. Confidence was difficult to hold onto. "But, I can leave if I'm not... wanted," she finished, swallowing a nervous lump in her throat. The afternoon drizzle leaked through the intermittent cover of leaves, softly pattering against the forest floor to fill the silence that followed. She was far too vulnerable like this, she could be cast aside at any moment, lingering on the edge of a precipice. She did not want to have her heart broken. But she feared, more than anything else, that in closing herself off to the world for so long, she had already damaged whatever fragile seeds they had started to sow. It would always be her fault.
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who could be mad @ coli?
500+
Why did it feel like ages since Anu had seen her, and yet the presence of her touch remained? The familiarity of it did not make Anu want it any less, her need for it remained ever present. The distant between them starved her of that want and need, the sight of her made her relive each memory and drove the older female to take another step forward. Her reaction to the approach made her heart sink, for it was her presence, her words that made Colibri bow in submission. Anu wanted nothing more that to gather her up in optime arms, to see her face rise to meet her own and shield her against such sadness and worry. A night had passed since their last visit when Anu had tried to blame the feeling that she held on a mothering urge. It was the night the pup of her pack had been hurt and so many feels had met her moments before sleep. She hated to see the young woman hurt, hated to see the unhappiness and the feeling of rejection in her eyes, wanted her to feel love. Just as she would her children. But Anu could not fool herself. There was no innocence in the way she felt, no hold on the passion that was so slowly beginning to build a home in her heart. She could not blame it on such instincts, and as she looked at the fragile soul before her Anu was ready to cast aside such a scapegoat.
How selfish could she be? What news did Coli have to bring that would affect her? Anu cast her eyes from the female, listening as she tried to explain. Explain that she was only hoping to fill her promise. Anu had approached with pain and anguish while the other female spoke them through her words. Yes, she did say she would come. And yet she had waited until Anu felt as if her heart could take no more and that she had somehow wronged the Dahlian. Anu could not help wonder why exactly she was so uneasy, more then just the rain weighted her down. She hoped nothing had befallen the woman, something so painful that it would keep her away. Or maybe she only wanted to show Anu that the distance was what she wanted, and that this is what she would receive. Time and nothing more.
“No,” Anu spoke, eye falling on the girl’s face as she spoke her exit. No, the word hadn’t been loud but held the weight of concrete. Don’t go her eyes pleaded. She had finally come and now Anu could be moments from letting her slip away. “your wanted.” She finished, softer and words as light as a feather. They were more secretive, but Anu was not shamed by them. “I had hoped you would visit, sooner.” She attempted to explain, “I thought maybe I had given you had reason not to.” Could there still be? Something that had filled that part of her Anu had silently and secretly wanted to fill. It was easy for the Dreamer to fall for one that had little interest in her, and she was easily replaced by one that fit more naturally. In the end, no matter why they left they would always returned with a male on their arm.
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[html] 500+
Nobody, that's who. It's okay to get mad at Miyu, though. C:
For most, time improved them. They outgrew their shyness, forgave the unfair wrongs that transpired, learned to accept themselves. And somehow, in an affront to nature, Coli decayed. She had been born with bravery and confidence, the sole survivor of her litter, frail though her health had been. She could just vaguely remember the feeling of freedom, of fearing nothing and exploring and being able to laugh off anything. And like a poison slowly leached through her being, all of her good qualities began to erode and vanish. The more time passed, the more doubt and terror and unhappiness pulsed through her veins. Perhaps she had been corrupted by the Soul gene after all. None of them were safe - they just did not know how their fragile psyches would respond to the darkness of their progeny. It felt so... irreversible. Did she have an antidote?
"I... thought the same," she finally admitted, damp ears tucked back shyly. "I thought... I mean, I know we made a promise, and that's what brought me here," she tried to explain, always so flustered by the cool beauty of the mature Dreamer. She seemed more unapproachable every time they met. This was the just the third time, but it was hard to keep track of in Coli's mind - after every vivid scene was replayed a thousand times during the course of an average day, and new scenarios blossomed in her dreams, it seemed like they had been together forever. And the fantasies were ever so tempting to slip into... especially when reality held such uncertainty and tension. The tension made her so jumpy, nervous, eager to please, just to see a real smile that might shine some light through the foggy drizzle.
“I had hoped you would visit, sooner.”
The gentle caress of those words finally sank in through her anxious haze, and she made eye contact, yearning and desperation flashing in her robin's egg gaze. Anu's eyes seemed darker, more brilliant, more captivating than ever. Had she erred? Should she have visited as soon as the impulse struck her, rather than letting reason and modesty hold her back? She had certainly done herself no good, hiding from everyone who drifted nearby. She had been a silly, foolish girl. "I'm sorry, Anu," she exhaled, bowing her head sadly and shuffling nearer to the wolf whose presence calmed her so. "I'm a selfish creature. I've been relying on... you... to keep myself from drowning. I just thought... that it was obvious... and that you really wouldn't want to be dragged down by something as pathetic as me."
The downtrodden whisper fell from her lips, harmonizing with the dull murmur of the rain. There was no bad news, no other lover, no terrible tragedy that had held her back. Just the sad realization that she had nothing to offer this nature spirit, this entrancing goddess. Anu was offering her a new life in so many ways, and Coli could not help but feel that her efforts would all go to waste. Nothing could change the way she was now. And yet, she was still inexplicably drawn to return to her... the magnetic tug that made her chest ache when she thought of the distance between them. Was she not a terrible person, for still wanting to return to her side?
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never mad @ miyu, and if any one is... then can answer to me.
also, sorry for the quick reply, its hard for me to fall asleep on sunday nights & replying helps... :/
500+
Moments passed. Breaths left her chest. Neither of them smiled, the tension drifted, rising and waning as they stood before each other. It was unnatural, a fog between them and Anu fought to see through the veil. A shroud that she had created. She was not new to concealing her heart. Too many times it had it been worn on her sleeve, and too many times did it break and shatter. The first moment they had met her heart had been bruised and bloodied. Fresh wounds of broken love wept and pleaded for repair. And there she had found it, a fragile moment that had begun the stitching of her wounded soul. Until now Anu had thought that her heart was stitched and healed. But while eyes lay gently on the cream velvet face she realized that it was only as she stood in her presence and felt the unyielding need, and insecurity and contrasting confidence that another stitch sewed her heart. A sting of remembrance, a comfort of the closure. A caress of the healing magic her eyes brought.
Blue looked to blue. Two pairs of eyes like water. Together a sea that they both floated in. Warm and yet treacherous. Wondrous, and still rocked by the tide.
“I’m glad you came.” she said with a small hint of a smile. For the first moment Anu let herself feel the joy that Coli brought her. Forgetting the time lost, ignoring the confusion and the fear. She pushed it aside. She was free of it. Free of the restriction and the loyalty. It was time to create a new bond, and find new souls to unite. It had been too long since she just let herself feel. Stonewalls around her heart had been so hard to construct crumbled at a whim. A small thought the Colibri induced. It was gone, and for a moment Anu feared that she would be trampled. Courage, she gathered it from any possible corner of her mind. It kept her core still, calm.
“No.” She said again. Her voice, soft yet strong. Never did the young fey need to apologize. It should be Anu who begged for forgiveness. It should be she that asked and pleaded. She felt ashamed that she had approached her with such coldness. She had come to her home, and her welcome mimicked the weather. Gray, and lacking any source of warmth.
“Your not.” And in an instant, a few fluid steps, Anu was before her. The gap closed and the warmth there as it always should have been. She wanted to be against her. To warm the chill she had set in the other fey, to spark that heat that would chase the cold from her bones. She looked at her, and for a moment she didn’t know what to say. Obvious? Had she been blind? And still Anu wondered if Coli truly wanted the same as Anu did.
“Your not selfish.” Anu began, the emotions flooding her voice and she found it hard to control each and form the syllables.
“And I wont let you drown.” Her voice quiet and just above a whisper. Anu smiled, wanting to see her do the same. The wall was gone, disappeared for her and only her. The moment she disappeared it would return and Anu would continue to wear a false strength. But for the moment she would be weak, and truly alive.
“I never touch the ground. Not with you.” Drag her down? Anu would sooner reach the sun she worshiped then fall in the presence of the chocolate furred female.
“I so afraid...” She began, wanting to get let the feeling out and set it right. This was who she was, and though she had tried she would not change.
“because this is all I am...” Her confession was soft, pleading and full of the need she felt for Coli to accept her. This was all Anu was, and it was never enough. Coli had confessed that she had never kissed another, and an unyielding part of her wanted to be her first and last.
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Lol, are you actually apologizing for replying promptly? :<
Her heart squeezed so painfully in her chest, it was hard to inhale. The tension was unbearable. Was she the one with her guard up, or was it Anu, so cautiously constructing her phrases before she spoke? Were they both so terrified of rejection that they built these walls around their feelings, sealing what their souls throbbed to reveal to the world...? The answer was yes, of course. And that should have been a relief to the small wolf, if not for her inability to relax. They were close, and suddenly they were closer, Anu defeating the distance between them with her effortless, fluid movement. Time stopped. Coli could hear her friend's heart beating, feel the warmth rolling from her damp sandstone fur, feel their blue eyes lock together, two halves of a whole.
"You're glad...?" Coli exhaled in relief, her stiff posture softening. Her tail stirred, offering a half-hearted wave as hope crept back into her morose countenance. "I thought you were ready to chase me away!" she admitted sheepishly, ducking her head with embarrassment. Truly, they had not seemed happy to see each other at first. But now, now things were okay...? It was good that she was here, right? To see the elusive Crimson Dreams...
Her paws trembled for a moment, and then she took the final step forward, pressing her soft face against Anu's chest. It was a small, needy gesture; a constant contact that soothed Coli, made the misgivings and doubts seep away with every flicker of the fae's pulse. The one she so often dreamed about, she was a real, living breathing wolf. No longer did she doubt the attraction - it was the fact that someone might love her, would not turn her away when she yearned for contact like this - gender was no longer of any importance. A new world had been unlocked.
Anu's hesitant, pleading whispers enveloped Colibri in a soft veil of comfort, a reassuring susurrus that echoed in her imagination, unable to magnify any greater than it already was. Not selfish. Not pathetic. Wanted. Needed. Never touch the ground again... The words tumbled over each other, her mind giddy to relive each confession. Her dizzying haze finally cleared when she realized she was falling into herself again, becoming lost in her own thoughts and fantasies.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Coli snuggled her face closer in Anu's soft fur, wreathed in the warm earthy scent that it was laced with. She never wanted to leave this moment, her rare initiative rewarding her, for once. "What do you have to be afraid of?" she mumbled, a faint amusement colouring her question. "'What you are' is amazing. 'What you are' is what I can't get enough of," she added, trailing off as the blush stung her cheeks. Her brown ears clapped flat against her skull as, once again, her silly mouth said something that wasn't meant to be said aloud. Why did it only happen around the one person that mattered most?!
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yes... bc i dont want to rush you.. ><
600+
The moment she thought that nothing would be right, the instant that she felt that life would be too hard Anu could retreat to thought of the young Dahlian. Though it brought an uneasy feeling, the comfort could over power the initial hesitation. But those were only thoughts and her imagination. Not reality, where they stood before each other and the past mattered. Coli was clean and pure, even though her father had tried to taint her innocence. Anu did not feel that blemish, and only saw the clean canvas and a heart that radiated with an unclaimed love. But Anu was far different. She loved, lost and the cycle repeated so often that it was hard to believe that this was real. She had promised herself she could just feel it, let what was between them blossom as the flowers Coli had given her had. She was strong, steel ribbons lacing her veins, the woman only needed to use those as support instead of protection. Anu had lived through much heartache, and each iron string that knit her heart back together had rusted and threatened to fall apart with the weight of these born again emotions. She could crack and tear, the pieces fall… and yet Anu would still have those shreds. Whole they might not be, but present all the same. She could give those away, couldn’t she?
“I would never.” Anu confirmed, even if Colibri had news to bring, things Anu did not want to hear the Dreamer would never chase her away. She felt the touch against her chest and instantly melted. It was uncontrollable. She needed to steady herself and ask if this was real, or just another picture her imagination had created. No, the heat was there. The rain swept fur against her own, and the heartbeat of Coli ringing in her head, just as rapidly and powerfully as her own. They were alive, together. It was right. If it didn’t feel so, it might just be easier. It could be easier to dismiss the confused girl and take to a lonely life for the rest of her days. It could be easier to never have to be loyal, to never fear the consequences, to face the chance of falling once again. But she was here, a solid pressure against the beating of her heart. A child compared to the years she owned. Clean as fresh water compared the mud that Anu had made. Though she told herself otherwise, the pale sand fey would believe that all of this would slip from her grasp before her fingers could close. It would be fate, a union that was not meant to be made.
And yet, with hope out of her reach Anu placed her dark nose atop the female’s head. It was no foreign feeling for the Dreamer, her nose against her crown meant that this was a true presence. The Haki wolfess was here, coming to her even though the time would speak against her eagerness. Breathing in her fur she held her lightly in her heart’s hold. A forced tentativeness, holding back all that she was capable of. This was all she was, nothing more. The things she lacked Coli would miss even though she might not know what they were. They always missed it. Sweet loving words, lost in the fur of her chest almost didn’t make it to her ears. Words that warmed her. Letting them sink in, Anu remained silent. Instead of fearing the quiet Anu embraced it. She hoped to use it, to show that she heard every bit and that it passed through her mind and held them close. Her voice rang, light with the understanding and the pleasure that it brought her, “Has your pack found your beauty? Or are they still blind?” Anu remembered that day, when she first lay her gaze upon the blue waters of her eyes. Anu had spoke of their blindness, and part of her wanted to still be the only who could see.
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Even if you're quick like a bunny, I'll end up slow as molasses... so don't worry about rushing me. =P
Unaware of the doubts that raced through Anu's mind, believing her own tarnished soul to be far blacker than the pure-hearted dryad before her, Coli felt a small tremble chase down her spine at the touch of the senior wolf's wet nose. Her bold advance had not been rejected or ignored, but returned in the best possible way. Her stomach turned flips, nervous excitement making her light-headed. It was all so new to her, and so many unfamiliar desires tugged at her insides, urging her to be greedy and beg for more contact. Her damp Lupus pelt made her feel heavy and a little cold, and her treacherous mind conjured the image of her entwined in a warm embrace with the lighter-furred General.
Coli had to close her eyes and think for a moment, drawing deep breaths of the dizzying scent to try and focus. Was her pack still blind to her? Well... Firefly and Svara had both left some time ago, and they had been her greatest antagonists. Haku had ignored her existence since their one and only confrontation. Cercelee had tried to make amends, although she was still busied by her mate and their adopted children. Auntie Mew was always friendly.
On the flip side, Deuce and Willow had abandoned her. Sankor was gone. Rath's visits were less and less frequent, and she feared he would soon leave for his mountain home. Her only other friends were pups, most of whom she had only played with once. How to answer a question so direct? Things might be easier for her if she was more outgoing, more willing to stick her neck out... or even answer the door. Didn't that make her isolation her own fault?
"Some things never change," she replied softly. "You... still see me the clearest." Her loyalties might be confused and torn, but she was really leaning towards leaving the flower pack behind. Her garden was in sore neglect anyway, choked by weeds and damaged by the flood rains. And since Anu was a leader here, she would be guaranteed a home, so long as they remained on good terms. It was sorely tempting. Being around her, the female she dreamt about so frequently, all of her troubles seemed so faraway and petty.
This giddiness that coursed through her young body, it gave her so much optimistic energy. Just moments earlier she had been ready to crawl into a hole and die because Anu had not appeared to want her around. Now all she was doing was resting her head against the slim wolf's breast, and she felt like she could sprout wings and fly, she was so light. Anu was made of magic, she was sure of it. Too much contact and she would melt into quicksilver, a shiny puddle to be swallowed by the earth, never to be seen again. "Ah... Anu, I think... there's something... you should know," she stammered, peeling herself away from the addictive embrace. Colour blossomed beneath the pale fur of her cheeks, hesitation shining in her expressive blue eyes. This would not be easy to admit to, but surely it had been long enough by now... surely she knew it was the truth...
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bunny speed!!!... i understand if its annoying... x.x
500+
A beast of hope, a soul that wished and wanted. She believed in the impossible, advised those that felt the world would come to an end. Anu had reached out to those that needed to be brought back to the surface, her own heart in her palm to ease another’s rise. She loved the ones that could not love themselves, or those that wished her away. It left her tattered and guarded, and yet the young wolfess had found a way to her closed heart, and so easily. She woke the one Anu had once been, woke the place she had put to rest the last time the bonds of heartship had been broken. Many had passed before her gaze, scent lingered beneath her nose and none stirred her as the chocolate woman did. And yet, compared to the others of her past she awoke a fierceness in her, a guardian that has had enough of protecting its own keep. The small fey, tender in age and soul, needed the warmth and protection Anu had bestowed on her own heart.
No, they could not see. Blinded by a haze of selfishness and ignorance, Anu was sure of it. She felt the presence of the woman against her chest, riding the rise and fall of her breath. Anu looked at the fur that covered the crown of her head, eyes lost to the sight and nose coming forth to enjoy the sweet sent of the rain sodden wolfess. Her scent was intensified by the rain, the Dahlia entangled with the light flavor of pure Colibri. Eyes closed, and still she could see it. It was in her scent, in the places that she had awoken in Anu. “They must be unhappy wolves Colibri.” She commented, her voice still light the sound of her name tasted sweet on her tongue. The truth that Coli had brought Anu a sense of happiness since the moment they sat together by the lake resonated in her memories. Did they not know her as Anu did? They were her family, and Anu growing just beyond friendship. But Anu could not even search for the words she had spoken to the other members of Dahlia the days she had gone to search for her. She wanted to be the only one that saw her, for the moment their eyes opened they would surely steal her away for good.
Words rang in her ears, and her eyes opened as she felt the touch against her chest disappear. For a moment the woman looked at the eyes of the cream cheeked female. There was a tentativeness ringing in her words and a unease on her eyes. Anu could see deeply in the light eyes she wore. Windows to the thoughts of the wolfess, and she felt the hardship in their expression. “Tell me.” She spoke, softly and with a voice that hoped to encourage the words to flow. She could not hide the unease that filtered from Coli to her own mind and eyes. She could only imagine what the secret could be. Anu had things to tell her too. Dark secrets, and even if Colibri gave way and spoke private feelings Anu was unsure if she could talk about the insecurities that were always lingering. She wanted to know, wanted to know the truth be it good or bad.
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mmooooolllaaaassssseeessss.... D:
That warm, inviting scent engulfed her, and she sighed contentedly. If she could just save this memory, she would carry it to her grave, and die happily having known this sort of bliss. Her naivety told her that this was the greatest pleasure she could know; having lost her virginity in such a cruel and forced way, it was hard for her to imagine any kind of sex as a good thing. She only craved warmth and attention, the security and love that she had never known but always yearned for. A blissful kiss, every now and then, that would be her indulgence.
The dreams that she lost herself in nightly, they held a darker edge of desire, but those were filed away privately, never to be admitted to. Even blessed Anu would not want her in that way. If she were less pure, they would have already crossed that sort of boundary, past a chaste kiss spurred by wine. Even as she drew away, readying herself to speak the words she had wanted to for too many moons now, she still had no idea what she was really getting into...
The timber wolf cringed, feeling Anu's vivid blue eyes piercing deep into her soul. Every time their gazes met, there was such an exciting crackle of energy, something that made her heart skip a beat, a momentary weightlessness. But the self-conscious girl always worried that something bad would be unearthed by those probing blue orbs, that her faults would be plain as day. Surely her ragged psyche would be the first thing noticeable by one of Anu's age and experience... and it would be such a deterrent, why would she ever make eye contact again? And yet, it happened, time after tantalizing time.
"I... needed to... tell you..." Her soft voice trailed into nothing, nerve failing her as her tail curled against her haunches, cowardice claiming her tongue. At the gentle prodding, she shook her head, mutely disobeying. Wasn't it wrong, to realize that this stranger from another pack meant more to her than her own flesh-and-blood? Was it bad that she was so drawn to this wolf, despite the fact that her age surpassed Coli's own parents? Wasn't there some karmic retribution in order for feeling this way towards her own gender, as a perversion of nature? There had to be a reason why her fractured fairy tale couldn't have a happy ending. Why she couldn't admit... that she had fallen in love for the first time...?
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but your just as sweet ^^
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The rain fell. Drops that were small and light cast a halo of light around the pair. Both were soaked through by the continuous and weightless rain, their fur heavy with moisture and chilled by the wind that swept through the forest. The Sun was nowhere to be seen, and clouds cast a shadow over a sky that resembled dusk more then midday. But blue eyes saw little of the storm the passed above, their focus remained on the being before her. Her heart beat; fast, hard and it began to hurt within the cage that held it. In the silence she heard it pound, deep in her ears it spoke with a voice she could not distinguish. Was it fear that brought the uncontrolled rhythm or was it pure excitement, anticipation that she could not stifle.
What? Tell me, please. the thoughts ran through her mind and Anu began to understand more and more. The voice within was high pitched, a cry that she could not vocalize. Her eyes spoke of it, and the sting of tears boiled at their corners. Why did she want this so badly? Why would it hurt so bad to move away and to try to forget the young woman that sat before her? The questions were as numerous as the drops of water that fell from above. The answers as unlikely as the chance the sun would show it face this day. Anu felt the weight of such hopelessness, felt the unease and the insecurity. They both felt it, and they both could not control it as it swept through their bodies.
She could not look away. Eyes found the blue that resembled her own and Anu watched. She looked for reassurance, the same form that Coli searched from her. The past filled her memory, and each time the thoughts of yesterday passed over her mind’s eye Anu pushed it further and further away and replaced it with the sight of the soft brown female. It didn’t matter, those times had passed and Anu could start anew. She repeated the idea, again and again, in her head until that felt true. Soft words repeated the need Colibri felt, and still they ended without giving Anu the answer.
Face looked away as she shook her head. This was it? Anu thought. It was not harsh, but sorrowful. “Its okay,” Anu spoke, attempting to hold the sadness from her voice and failing. She understood, it was not the way life was supposed to be. Anu could not complete her. She had yet to find one that preferred living as she did. They all left Anu thought once more, the past vengefully regaining control of her thoughts. Amazing she might be, something that Coli could not get enough of, but Anu would never be everything that she could ask for. It was experience, years over the fragile soul that sat before her that told her the truth and demanded that she shield her heart. “to not know. I want you to be sure.” Anu could not live through another. Love that faded left a heart bleeding, love that was refused and torn from her chest left a gaping hole and a blackness that threatened to swallow her whole. One more and she would die, she was sure it. Her voice was soft, and she was glad that hands were not available to touch the woman's soft fur. Anu would accept her, but to push her would be disastrous. She searched her face, and yet could not define the things she found, in defeat she held her breath after a few whispered words.
“You can still walk away.”
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...8D
When had this tension solidified, rolling in around them like a billowing fog to obscure their hearts again? The anticipation vibrated between them, tangible in their interlocked gazes, coiling painfully in the younger female's belly. She never could handle tension, always submitted and pandered and did her best to ease the situation, to lessen the terrible anxiety that she always seemed to create. And this time, it was her fault; her inability to assign words to her emotions was creating a looming chasm of distance between them, black as death, spreading tendrils of darkness to shadow Anu's eyes, adding suspicion and doubt to what had briefly been shining with trust.
Colibri cringed as Anu broke her eye contact, looking away to the side as the droplets of rain pattered around them. Her pelt was dark with water, chocolate-brown soaked almost to a hue of black, and it felt so very heavy, dragging her to the ground. If the mud swallowed her now, reclaiming her as a piece of the earth, it would not surprise her. She would almost welcome it, since she apparently could not hold a civil conversation anymore, not without hurting the one wolf she had grown to care most about. Once again, her failure at social skills became painfully clear when Anu spoke, her voice measured and guarded, masking the tones of disappointment that Coli had inspired in her. The Dahlian never changed. And if she did, it was only for the worse. She shouldn't burden Anu with her confession. It would be easier to leave. Easier... to walk away...
"No, I can't."
She jutted her lip stubbornly, ears back as she glared at the slippery bark of the tree beside them. She couldn't say it, couldn't say anything correctly when their eyes were locked together... but if she could avert her gaze, therefore avoiding the hypnosis and subsequent paralysis of her tongue, then she might be able to spit out her confession. It was something she had accidentally learned from Sankor and his flustering, flirtatious ways. Pretend she was alone, and her thoughts could be voiced without impediment. "I can't walk away. It's not possible. I even tried to talk myself out of it, because none of this makes any sense to me. I've never felt this way before. It's driving me crazy, because I don't know how I'm supposed to act in a situation like this - I can't get you out of my head, Anu, you... you're everywhere I look... You're... haunting me. And... I think I like it..."
She licked her lips nervously, her mouth suddenly dry. She closed her eyes tightly, expecting to feel a flash of rejecting fangs, driving her away in disgust. She waited to hear the shocked gasp, the hurried explanation, or just the sound of the wolf before her turning tail and running away. Colibri Haki was a useless, foolish idiot, worthless in every way, and if anyone thought otherwise, they were fools as well. But... the two of them had kissed... and those memories were the brightest stars shining in the dark sky of her life. It was undeniable. One taste of the drug, and she was hopelessly, head-over-heels addicted.
"I think I've fallen in love with you..." ...please don't break me...
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xD
600+
Maybe she would go. And as much relief as it should have brought the female, the thought of it only caused her panic. If she left then she would never be seen again, Anu was sure of it. Never would she be able to steal a wanted kiss, her velvet fur burned away in a bitter memory. Some how, the Dreamer was certain that if she did go, neither would be the same again. Anu had walked away before, though the words of departure sweet, and look how long it had been since Coli had returned to her. Too long. It was time that Anu fought, hard bitter time that aged her soul. With each passing day she grew wiser, and yet as the young fey sat before her, just inches away, all the things she had learned slipped away. She was stripped no more then the shapeless heart, battered and held together with rusted wire, bleeding still. Could she know how each time their eyes met her beating flesh was repair, one small centimeter at a time. With the silence, with the anguish that Anu brought to Coli’s face, she did not breathe, she did not move.
A refusal, no she would not go. For an instant Anu found something that she hadn’t known she had was searching for. There was a fight in her voice, subtle and mixed with the soft tone that was her tongue. Her eyes lifted, No? Anu asked with them. She did not want to leave, and most importantly she wished to face this. This figment of her imagination, a whim, a simple question that had been asked all those months ago. Colibri made it real, her defiance however hidden in her tone brought an electricity to her skin. It clawed to be released, it begged to be closer and once again Anu wished touch her. Wished for that smallest comfort to satisfy her.
Rushed words, they played in the Dreamer’s ears, all these things the she rose in Coli’s mind. All these feelings. Everything that Anu was searching for, all the things that she wished to express. Eyes looked at her, taking the sight of her deeply in her mind, she was scared to loose her. Scared that still she would be lost. Anu brought her voice forward to speak, to say the things that needed to be told. But then a breath of words, a flutter of thoughts that embedded deeply into her chest. Had it come to this? She wore a face laced with surprise, for a moment unsure that she had indeed heard the words. And yet Anu searched in the rubble, to find that it was the emotion that the female spoke of that frightened her. She wanted Coli to look beyond her eyelids, to see her for all that she was, she wished she would not frighten her. The space between the dissolved slowly, tentatively she moved forward. To hold her would be too much, to kiss her would bring Anu beyond her control, and so she settled letting her nose fall to the soft fur of her neck. It was a gentle touch, and Anu didn’t want to her to be afraid.
“I don’t want to be your ghost.”. She said, a small ounce of power in the words. Ghosts did not feel as she did, they could give and Anu could and wish to receive as she so greedily would. Lost in the knowledge that now weighed on her shoulders Anu felt her voice speak for her. “I knew I could love you, the moment I met you.” It was all that could be said. She remembered that day, remembering how she had almost said it then. Anu could love her, for all that she was and for all that she believed she wasn't.
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You can end if you're ready. :>
A ghost, haunting her thoughts and dreams, solidifying only once every few moons to tantalize her, only to drift away again. Truly, Anu was her ghost. She had always seemed supernatural, too perfect a being to be spending her earthly moments with the likes of Coli. And her clearwater gaze, so intuitive and observant, always staring clean through the holes in her soul - no real wolf possessed that power. (Only Haku came to mind, and she had long since decided that he was more demon than wolf anyway.) But Anu didn't want to be a spirit any longer. Love would claim her immortality, would it not? Leave her frail and earthbound like Colibri, but able to share herself, too...
A strangled little squeak sounded from her throat; a surprised whine that she quickly dampened, but it had already escaped. Anu meant that? Her mind played so many tricks on her, but even in her fantasies, she had been wary of confessions... they just never sounded as real as this. And this was as real as it got. "Y-you... you could...? M-me? R... really?" Her sky-blue eyes were wide, blinking in shock as her stammering tongue could not keep up with her disjointed thoughts. Blush tinged her cream-dusted cheeks, and she could not stifle the excited shiver that sparked from the cold touch of Anu's nose. Not rejection, but acceptance. Not pity or disdain, but... love... a chance at real love, for the both of them.
Soaring higher on hope than she had ever soared before, the giddy young female melted into the Dreamer's embrace, tucking her head needily in the crook of Anu's neck, nestling her against the warm sandstone fur. The pattering raindrops were forgotten, the very forest around them erased as Colibri Haki's world was focused in on the sound of a heartbeat. Steady. Reliable. Faithful. And promised to her. "I, I want, w-want to be with you, then... I could live here with you, you said, right?" She snorted with annoyance as her words refused to come out right, scrambled by her flustered mind. This couldn't really be happening, right? Every time the illustrious Anu visited her, she could swore she hallucinated, her effects were so strong.
The wolf huffed a whine, hanging her head lower and pressing against the older female. Maybe if they spent more time together, she wouldn't be so damned anxious and tongue-tied. Although, wouldn't her "true colours" be boring and predictable? She was not an interesting or exciting wolf, not by any means. Unless that was what the pack leader wanted...? "I, well, I can't right away - I mean, I'll give you time to prepare, and, um, if I'm n-not wanted in the pack right away, I could always live on the outskirts. I've lived alone before. It wouldn't be an imposition. You j-just let me know, I'll do anything...! For you..." Ahh, she had lost her mind. She always knew the day would come, when she would start rambling and the words would never stop falling over themselves just to be free. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
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let me know what you want to do/see this & i can archive it... im fine with whatev :3
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Chain her heart. Claim her soul. It was in the open, the place it had always been, and Colibri only needed to pick it from its fragile stem. Ripe from all her years, but battered by the weather and worn by abuse. It was all she was, all she had to offer. And Coli wanted it. The pair lived in a world of disbelief. Moments of tattered faith and broken belief. Neither could live with the knowledge that the other may want them, want to be more and more for the other at each passing meeting. As Anu had hoped that their time would end to save them from the possible heartache she now wished for Coli to stay forever.
“Yes” She said, a smile on her face and in her tone. Would the young woman just simply believe her? Anu exhaled deeply, feeling that she could finally breathe, finally smile. She was suddenly alive, with hope and understanding that theirs could be a love that she would not loose. Her chin rested gently on the other’s crown, and the warmth between the two began to rise in the late summer’s air. It was her smell that took Anu beyond the place where they stood. The smell that reminded her of lavender, and a smell that brought her heart to quicken and race. The chocolate wolfess’ next word Anu only listened, taking in the promise and finding that she needed just as much from Coli as the innocent youth woman needed from her. She needed stability, she craved affection. Anu yearned for everything that Coli did, and she found it just as hard to believe that she was about to find it.
Anything? All the other words were nothing compared to the small thing that Anu heard. Anything, could mean everything. So absorbed in her scent, the touch of her and the way the words spilled from her mouth Anu needed to backtrack and replay the words over again just in order to respond. Prepare, not wanted, alone, time. The words shocked Anu enough that she needed to look the girl in the eyes. She stepped away, and Anu was not ready for the cold that hit her chest. But there was warmth in her words, “You will not live alone.” The Dreamer wished to instill such a belief in the Haki wolfess. She would not be left, she would not be forgotten or hurt as she had in the past. The older wolfess’ heart pleaded to be cradled in soft hands, but Anu pledged that she would hold the blue eyed female’s core in her paws as if her own life depended on its viability. It would be well taken care of, for Anu would do anything, and everything, for Colibri.
“I want you here,” She said with calm and soft words. “with me.” She finished. But then there was something that could not allow her to rip Coli from the bonds that she had forged in the pack that now owned her scent, her name. And most of Anu wanted this to be her step, a leap that Coli could make. It would show that she was truly ready, accepting of the relationship that Anu had offered her the moment she had brought their lips together. “But you mustn’t disappear from Dahlia, they need to know why you are leaving and where you are going.” the Lt General came forth, though her tone was still as kind as always. Her intention was not to steal her away, though that was her every hope.
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