[html]
The night was cool, as most of the nights were in the lands of Cour des Miracles. It was actually quite lovely. The moon shined brightly above and reflected across the surface of the ocean. This, of course, was meaningless for the blind border collie as she strolled along, her hands folded in front of her in a thoughtful posture. She hadn't been able to fall asleep. Her body just wasn't ready, so she had decided to take a walk to burn off some energy. She'd chosen one of her regular routes, which wandered down the coast for about a mile and a half before circling back around to the cabin that she called home.
The slate and ivory female was confused about many things this evening, the least of which was why she could not fall asleep. Svara and Firefly were gone, with no obvious intentions of coming back. Jac was still nowhere to be found, although Heath had promised to go look for him. That gave her hope that the king would quickly return to his kingdom. Leroy had saved her life the other day, from a deranged coyote that had come out of nowhere seeking a free meal. Was it really so obvious that she was handicapped? She certainly didn't hide the fact that she was blind, but was it really so obvious that a crazed predator could immediately single her out as a viable food source? Questions like these, as well as a few others, fluttered through the mind of the delicate optime as she walked along. She doubted she would ever understand the reasons and answers behind these events of late, but they did provide something for her to think about. However, her mind did not dwell on them for long as she made a decision to simply disregard them. Worrying about those problems would not help her in her pursuit to tire herself out.
With that settled, the petite collie-dog increased her pace to a quick walk, rather than the leisurely stroll she had begun her walk with. It was not long before she had traveled a significant distance down the coastline. The brisk pace had succeeded in tiring out her limbs, but her mind was still active. There was still the journey back home, and she hoped that it would solve that problem. However, Ruri was quickly distracted by something else. She had walked this route several times before, but had never noticed the familiar scent covering the area. It was the scent of Haven, the knight of Cour des Miracles. The smell was fresh in her mind from her meeting with Haven and Anselm, the stranger who had come seeking information about their pack in order to decide where to settle down. She hadn't really had a chance to converse with Haven at that time due to the fact that it had been raining and they were both eager to get back to their respective homes. How fortuitous that she should wander past his home tonight, for surely that's what this place was. Why else would his scent be so strong everywhere?
There was one hitch in the plan that Ruri had quickly conjured up. That was the one involving her having a conversation with Haven in order to help her fall asleep. The problem was the fact that it was the middle of the night, she knew this because all the birds and most of the other forest critters were quiet, meaning that they were likely asleep. This would probably mean that Haven was also asleep. How then could she get him to come talk to her without waking him up herself? Perhaps if she simply sat outside and waited for him, as he had done when she had first arrive in these lands in order to speak with her. Yes, that might be a good idea. The delicate female smiled, pleased with her plan and confident that it would work. It had worked for Haven, why then shouldn't it work for her? She quickly debated about whether or not to remain in optime form, but she quickly convinced herself that she could wait in her bipedal form just as easily as in her other form. Therefore she quietly sat down on the ground, on the edge of the heavily, Haven-scented area, her legs crossed in front of her Indian style. And, she waited.
|
[/html]
[html] http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee19 ... orse_t.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+
As much as he hated it, he wished he had some drinks inside the house. When he had moved in he had made a conscious effort to keep all alcohol out of the building, but now he was regretting that decision. With the pain of his broken heart, Haven was craving his old vice. He was doing his best to stay strong and resist the siren call of the fiery liquid but each hour that passed made it more difficult. The young Knight's resolve was quickly vanishing. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from it much longer. He had no intention of letting what had happened to him before happen again, but he needed the reprieve, the escape. He needed to forget, if only for a few hours.
But it was too late tonight to make the trip to the city, so sleep was the best alternative for him now. The hybrid laid down in his bed and pulled up the covers, closing his eyes and willing his mind to sink into slumber. But within a matter of moments his eyes were open and roaming around the room. Growling he turned over on his other side and wrapped the sheets more tightly around him. Please just let me sleep. Sleep might bring nightmares, but he preferred those to the nightmare he was currently living. There wasn't a second of the day that he felt at all content. All he felt was pain.
He didn't know how long he laid there wishing that he could just fall asleep, but it never happened. Then, as if his own house were attempting to torture him more, a whiff of her scent danced across his nose. Tears pricked at his eyes. "No..." he said with a whine. That was it. Haven threw the covers back and left his room. Hastily he burst through the front door and into the cool night air. The male sunk down to the ground and buried his face in his hands, a quiet sob escaping his chest.
[/html]
[html]
The sudden sound of Haven bursting through his front door startled the slate and ivory female. She heard the characteristic 'thud' of someone sinking rapidly to the ground followed by the sound of quiet sobbing. "Haven? What's wrong?" she questioned, her half-folded collie ears tilting backwards worriedly. Haven didn't strike here as someone who would cry just over anything. Something must have gone horribly wrong. What was it? The delicate optime didn't know, of course, and she dared not speculate. He would tell her if he felt the need. Right now, though, she could just be here for him. She was good at that.
The petite female rose from her sitting position and took a few steps closer towards the distressed male. His scent combined with the faint sound of his sobs gave her a good idea of where he was located. She did not come too close however. He hadn't acknowledged her, and she did not wish to startle him or anything like that. Once again she knelt down on the ground, her blind, pale blue eyes flickering around in Haven's general direction. She no longer cared about tiring herself out. In fact, she wanted to stay awake now. Ruri was hopeful that the knight would be willing to talk about what was wrong. That might help ease the pain he was feeling. He could shout, he could cry, he could get as angry as he wanted. She wouldn't judge him. Sometimes letting it out was the best way to stop the pain, and she was a willing target. Jac had said it was her job to help make the other pack members feel better, and she would do her best to fulfill that role.
|
[/html]
[html] http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee19 ... orse_t.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
Sorry short D:
Tears made little rivers down his cheeks but he was surprised to hear his named called out. Removing his face from his hands the young male looked around and his bleary eyes settled on the small form for Ruri. A sudden fear clenched his heart. Did she know how he had hit Jac the other day? Had she come here to yell at him for that? But no, she had asked what was wrong. No doubt if the King had told her about the other day he would have told her why he was so distressed. So she didn't know. Haven sniffled, wiping his eyes. "Ruri..." He managed to say as she came closer to him. It was so hard to put into words when he wasn't raging over it.
He took a few more shuddering breaths, trying to compose himself so he could tell his friend what was wrong. Jade eyes clamped shut as he thought about it all. It all just hurt so much. "It's...Siobhan...s-she...left me!" Immediately his sobs began again with a renewed force and he pressed his forehead against his knees. He still didn't understand why. Nothing could make him understand why she had gone. Though by this point he had convinced himself that she hadn't ever loved him. If she had, she wouldn't have done this to him. Now it was all broken and it could never be put back together again.
[/html]
[html]
As Haven choked out what was wrong, Ruri's heart sank in sadness for her friend. His beloved had left him. How horrible. Siobhan had seemed like such a nice person, although Ruri could not say that she knew her well. "Haven...I'm so sorry," the delicate optime whispered as she scooted closer to the knight, her delicate hand reaching forward to finally rest upon his shoulder. As much as she wanted to say something uplifting to the young knight, she couldn't think of anything. It was doubtful, even if she had said something, that it would have helped to ease the pain. For now, she would just listen and let him cry.
The lautari of Cour des Miracles did nothing but rest her white-furred hand on Haven's shoulder. If he needed to cry on her shoulder she would let him. If he needed a hug, she would gladly oblige. In times of emotional crisis, Ruri knew that physical contact could be one of the most effective means of comfort, and she would not shy away if Haven needed it. A gentle ocean breeze blew past the two luperci's causing Ruri's long hair to flutter along with the small current of air. This lasted for a brief moment, and she still knelt there beside her friend, quietly listening to his sobs. For a brief moment, she felt like crying to out of sorrow for her packmate. She could relate to the feelings of abandonment he felt. Her greatest fear was being alone, abandoned by the one's she loved. However, she didn't cry now. She didn't want to bring her own personal problems into this. Haven needed support right now.
|
[/html]
[html] http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee19 ... orse_t.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
Haven registered Ruri's hand resting on his shoulder, but even that didn't abate the magnitude of his sobbing. It was the worst pain in the world. Nothing could ever hurt so bad. While he had never gotten any serious phsyical wounds, he knew that they couldn't possible be so painful. There was something you could do, something simple, to make a cut or scratch better. There was nothing for this though. Nothing could take the pain away from this. Nothing would ever make it heal completely. Just as he hadn't healed completely from finding out about his father. That shadow would always be hanging over him, and now this one would as well.
After a few moments the young hybrid leaned into her touch. He wanted more contact, a comforting embrace or something. But despite how much he wanted it, he didn't feel right initiating that kind of contact with Ruri. He knew that she didn't really like to be touched much, and he understood this and didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Gasping in deep breaths of air he tried to stabilize himself enough so he could speak again. Jac had done his best to listen, but he and the King came from very different mindsets. "I d-don't understand...I gave h-her everything. E-everything I c-could...but it wasn't enough..." Haven had given himself the coyote body and soul and she had discarded him like he was meaningless. Like what they had shared had meant nothing. It was a stab in the back and even know he could feel the twisting of the blade.
[/html]
[html]
ooc: Words:302
Ruri felt Haven lean into her hand as he continued to sob. Then he choked out something about not understanding why she left after he had given her everything. Hearing that Ruri almost cried, herself, out of sadness for her friend. However, she did something else instead of crying. Reaching with her empty hand Ruri felt for Haven's other shoulder, and once she felt it she quietly turned his body towards hers, wrapping her thin arms around him in an embrace. "It's okay, just let it out," she whispered in his ear, her own, blind eyes closed to stop her tears from trickling down her face. She hugged him tightly, because he needed it. Haven needed this form of supporting contact, and for Ruri it was all she could do to keep from sobbing along with him. This embrace was different from those she shared with Heath and Jac. This gesture was meant for one purpose, to give Haven something to hold onto, something to cling to as he sobbed.
"You're a good person Haven: brave, friendly, compassionate, and much more. If she didn't appreciate that, then she didn't deserve you. This pain you're feeling...it'll fade and be replaced by someone who loves you, everything about you, with every fabric of their being. Don't ask me how I know that, because I can't tell you. I just know..." she whispered, her own voice shaking as she spoke, fighting against her to break out in sobs along with the young knight. The delicate Border collie believed what she said with all her heart. She knew Haven would find someone else, far better than Siobhan, who would never ever leave him. She wasn't very experienced with relationships herself, but something inside her told her that what she had told Haven was right.
|
[/html]
[html] http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee19 ... orse_t.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
300+
He hadn't expected her to embrace him, but as she turned his body and wrapped her arms around him he did the same. Muscular arms enclosed her small form as he held onto her tightly. His eyes were still clamped shut, willing the tears to stop but they wouldn't. They only leaked through his closed lids and continued to roll down his face. As if taking a cue from her words he stopped trying to hold it all back again and let the sobs and tears flow freely. It didn't really make him feel any better, but maybe it was better than holding it back when it obviously needed to come out. Haven hadn't cried a lot in his life, but when he did he had good reason to. Though this was nothing compared to right after she had left him. The hybrid had locked himself in the house and not moved from his bed, crying and crying until his body could no longer produce tears.
His friend's words were comforting, yet they fell somewhat hollow on his ears. Sure, this pain would fade and maybe it would be replaced by a different love. But would that one last any longer than this one had? Or would it just fall apart as well and leave him broken again? All his life he had believed that love was everlasting, but now he wasn't so sure. Maybe that wasn't true at all. Maybe it was impossible. Haven breathed shakily, unable to hold his doubts inside. "What...what if true love isn't real? What if two people can't stay together forever? My parents couldn't, none of them. They always broke apart..." He wondered if either of his mothers had felt so horrible when the relationship had dissolved. "What if it's all just a lie we tell ourselves to make us feel better?" The more he thought about it the more that seemed like the truth.
[/html]
[html]
ooc: Sorry, short post...I was in a hurry lol
Ruri couldn't help but hug Haven tighter as his crying grew more and more vigorous. His expression of doubt regarding the existence of true love only made her shake her head in disagreement. "It's real...and don't try to tell yourself otherwise. You just have to keep trying. I doubt it's easy...and I think...the problem with most people is that they stop trying when it gets too hard," she replied, her eyes shut tight to stop her own tears. She refused to cry. Haven was crying. He was the hurting one. There was no need for her to cry even if the situation made her feel sad. "True love isn't just a feeling Haven. It's an act...a self-sacrificing commitment to someone," she continued, her soft hand patting Haven's shoulder in a comforting manner. "When you find that person...just the right person...it'll happen," she whispered, "I know you probably thought Siobhan was the one...but maybe she wasn't. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense...but I have to believe that you'll find true love Haven," she finished, at a complete loss for words. She wasn't sure if anything she had just said would comfort her friend, but she had felt the need to say what she believed about true love. The slender optime continued to hug the sobbing male, doing her best to keep from sobbing along with him. She wasn't about to let him give up on love because of this. Surely this was just a test of his character which cruel fate had decided to administer to him. Surely this pain would pass! Haven was too nice of a person not to end up with someone to complete him.
|
[/html]
[html] http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee19 ... orse_t.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
So so sorry for the wait! D: 300+
Haven wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe the words that Ruri was speaking with all his heart. But that was the problem. His heart was broken, shattered. It felt like it would never truly be whole again. Nearly all his life he had cared for the coyote. At first he hadn't realized what those feelings were, but looking back he knew they had been there all along. He would have done anything for her but it hadn't been enough. He would have sacrificed himself for her without question, and knowing that if he had done such a thing that it would have been in vain tore at his insides like a razor. "I tried to make that commitment to her but...but she didn't want me!" The male sobbed again. What else could he do? How could he know that it wasn't a problem with him? Maybe it was impossible to love the son of a rapist.
The Knight didn't like being so stubborn, so argumentative. Ruri was only trying to help him, to comfort him. The youth just felt inconsolable. "What if she was? What if she was the one and I just wasn't enough?" All his shortcomings and fears came back, avalanching on top of him. That was the most scary thought of all. That he had had his chance and somehow he had messed it up, or he just wasn't meant to have such a thing in his life. Could that be true? Right now it seemed like it. Maybe suffering was his lot in life. He wasn't even a year old and he had suffered so much. He knew others had suffered more than he had, but that didn't diminish the pain of everything that had happened to him. Just when he felt like his luck was turning around and his life was back on track, something came along to complete derail him.
[/html]
[html]
Ruri continued to shake her head slightly as if trying to negate Haven's negative words. She understood why he was saying them, but she surely could not let herself think, even for a moment that what he said was the right thing. He was emotionally distraught and that was tainting his beliefs. Surely he didn't believe that true love was hopeless. "Haven! Just because Siobhan wasn't the one doesn't mean that all hope is lost. You have to understand that," she whispered, cradling the back of his head with her hand as she continued to hug him tightly. When he began to mention that it might be his fault, Ruri's muscles tensed. She wouldn't let him turn this into an opportunity to hate himself. That would be too costly. The last time he had been in such a state of self-loathing had been when she had first met him. She never wanted him to be that way again. "Stop that! You don't honestly believe that is true. You can't give up so easily Haven. It was not your fault that all of this happened. You are good enough. Siobhan couldn't see that! If Siobhan was the right one, it would have happened just right. Don't you see? Like I said earlier...true love is when both people are giving themselves to the other person entirely. Siobhan didn't give herself to you entirely. That means she must not have been the right person!" She continued, her soft hand patting Haven on the back with each emphasized word. She had to make Haven see that there was still someone out there for him. He just had to be brave and wait. Of course that wouldn't be easy, because he was hurting now, but perhaps if she made him understand that there was hope he would calm himself. "It hurts...I understand Haven, but you can't let the pain win. You're our Knight! You are strong and you can beat this. There is some wonderful girl out there for you. You'll find her someday...you have to believe me. You are a good person, a noble, loving, friendly, sweet, kind, gentle, strong, wonderful person. Have faith in yourself, Haven. I do...I know you can beat this and that you will find true love someday," she finished with a final, gentle pat on her friends back to emphasize her statement in one of the best ways she knew how. She'd done the best she could to try and console her friend with encouraging words. She didn't know if it would work, but she prayed that it would.
|
[/html]
[html] http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee19 ... orse_t.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
300+
Haven was his own worst enemy in this situation. No matter what Ruri said immediately he came up with some negative retort in his mind to undermine her. He wanted to clap his hands over his ears and yell for his mind to shut up and leave him be. He was drowning in all these emotions and he needed the lifeline that she was trying to throw him and yet whenever he tried to reach for it he stopped his hand himself. It wasn't fair to him and it sure as hell wasn't fair to Ruri. The blind girl was trying to do so much for him, even putting aside her own issues to do all she could to comfort him. He felt her hand hold the back of his head and he leaned his head against her own. He clenched his jaw shut, determined to stop letting the negative thoughts escape through his mouth. They needed to stop. He needed to listen to her.
The male felt the slender collie tense as he turned on himself and he knew that she was scared for him. She was scared that he would revert back to that sorry state he had been in when they had first met. Haven didn't want that, not at all, and yet he could feel the weight on him, pulling him down. The new, reinforced words that began to pour from his friend though stopped that descent. His aching heart skipped a beat and he clung to his words like the drowning man he was. It was not your fault... You are good enough. Those were the words that penetrated and he held close to his chest. He had to make himself believe that. If he couldn't then he was lost. He needed to believe, he needed to trust her and believe the words she was speaking so passionately.
He let her last speech filter into him, clinging to her praises of him and her belief that he would find love. The broken boy still didn't know if he really believed it, but he wasn't going to argue it anymore. He didn't have the strength and he didn't have the desire. He wanted to believe Ruri. He wanted what she said to him to be true. The Knight sat there embraced with his friend for a few more silent moments before he hugged her tight again. "Thank you Ruri...for believing in me..." he said softly. At leas this pack still believed in him, even if he didn't right now.
[/html]
[html]
The fragile female could only smile when Haven spoke again. He wasn't going to give up...she could tell. The young knight would win in this fight against his emotions. The ivory and slate female felt Haven's strong arms hugging her in thanks. "You don't have to thank me, Haven..." she trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say. It wasn't anything she had done, really. Her goal had been to make Haven see that what had happened wasn't his fault. All hope for him was not lost and if she had helped him to see that, then she had done what she had set out to do.
Ruri had completely forgotten why she had even stepped out this evening. Her initial goal of tiring herself out had been met, for now she was indeed tired, but she dared not show it. She was going to stay with Haven until he decided he was ready to go back to sleep. That was the right thing to do, and she didn't want to leave him before he was ready for her to go. Her plumed tassle hung neatly behind her as she knelt there on the ground with her delicate arms embracing him in an encouraging gesture. Again, he would be the one to decide when he was ready to break the contact. The blind border collie was there for as long as he needed.
|
[/html]
|
