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500+
Princess sat down next to him, though not too close to him. That was fine, he could understand that she wouldn't want to be all that close. Surely her mind was just as turbulent as his was. Plus things were different than they had been that night. They were both sober and really seeing one another clearly for the first time. It made the awkwardness that had been driven away by the alcohol come back in full force and his stomach jumped around inside him uneasily. "Well uh, first I guess I'll say that I...don't regret what happened. I kind of regret some things, like us being drunk and just...I dunno. I've never done anything like that before. I don't want you to think that I don't respect you, because I do." Man this was awkward. Was he getting his point across? Haven wasn't really sure, his tongue felt clumsy. "I only wish I had done right by you. You deserve to be treated better than that." He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "But, if it came down to choosing between what happened and never meeting you...I'd choose what happened." The Knight could feel his cheeks burn beneath his burnt orange fur.
"Well, I guess I should tell you about me. Where to start..." Haven swallowed, his body twitching nervously and the aching in his torso and head incredibly prevalent. "I was born here actually. My mom used to be the Commander and my adopted mom still lives here. Anu if you know her. I lived here until I was about seven months, then I ran away and lived in the city for a while. I was...kind of a mess back then. I found out something about my dad that's...really bad." He couldn't muster the courage to tell her, not so soon. Surely she would throw him out this instant if he came out and said his father was a rapist and a murderer. "But then Jac came along and I helped form Cour des Miracles. That's when I became a knight."
Now came the other thing that could potentially have her hating him. Haven chewed on his lip nervously. "Ummm, about that Si that my sister mentioned. She and I were childhood friends, we were really close. When we got older I found out I liked her and she felt the same way. She lived in the clan, but not long after Cour des Miracles formed she decided to leave and come live with me. She said she wanted to spend her life with me and I wanted that too. But, about a week before that night, she left me. That's...why I went to the city to drink. I just needed to escape from the pain..." Finally he managed to look over at her. "I didn't mean to use you, you just showed up and you...made me feel good again. I hadn't felt good since she left. If...you can't handle that though, I understand..." Jade gaze turned away from her again. It was up to her now.
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500+
#####Throughout the orange boy's explanation, Princess had remained quiet, passively scratching at one of the loose threads in the stitching of the quilt that had covered her bed since the time of the humans. Unable to meet his eyes out of fear of what he might say, she had kept her gaze averted to her own hands. It wasn't until he had finished his entire explanation, ending with a description of this Si character that Mati had mentioned, that the girl lifted her gaze to his, quiet golden eyes studying him nervously. Of all that he had told her, the part that stuck out most in her mind was that he did regret what they had done, and seemingly wouldn't change it for anything else. That was, out of everything he had said, the most reassuring thing she had heard in a long while. She didn't want to change what had happened, either, even if the circumstances had not been perfect. It made her feel good, made her feel right, to know that he did not regret her or what they did. At least that meant that he had been truthful in what he had said to her that night, despite their abundent drunkeness.
#####The fact that she had practically replaced Si did not go unnoticed, but she believed him, for whatever reason. He was a knight, and knights wouldn't lie to their princesses, according to all of the stories. They were brave and valiant, tender and strong; all of these things, she believed Haven to possess. She was glad that she could make him feel good like she had done, because he had made her feel good, too, in ways she never had before. "I wouldn't change what happened, either," she said quietly, hoping that he would be comforted by the idea as she had been when he had said it. "I'm sorry she left you. . . Well, I'm sorry that she hurt you, I mean. I know I don't know you well, but I can't say that I understand why she would do that." In a way, Princess was not sorry for him at all that Si had left him, because it was a part of her selfish nature. If Si had never left him, then Princess would never have had the chance to be with him, and things would be very different. So for that reason, she was almost glad that Haven had been left by this former clan member, though she wished she could take away his hurt. Maybe, just maybe, she had helped a little with it that night. She hoped that it was so.
#####Unless Haven had been doing research on her, she knew that he did not know much about her, either, except that she had a mildly over-protective brother names Ares (and she had realized later, he could have very well heard her slip on his name and call him by his birth name, so he might know that, as well). After he had told her this much, she felt it would be only fair that she tell him more about herself, but she tried to avoid that whenever possible. It was a messy situation. "If you promise not to tell anyone what I tell you, I can tell you a little more about myself, if you want. Just as soon as I wrap these wounds" she added, remembering that she had offered to do so. Luckily, she had ridiculous amounts of clothing strewn everywhere, so finding cloth to wrap them with wouldn't be a problem, and she also kept a large bucket of water from the sea in the corner of her room for whenever she felt her hair needed it. The water was relatively clean, at the very least. Leaving the bed, she rummaged through the pile of clothing that was hiding just under the bed, finally coming up with a tattered yellow skirt. It hadn't been appealling then, and still wasn't now, but she had a use for it now, anyway. While she waited for his answer, she began to tear it into long strips, happy to be given the chance to make him feel better again.
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500+
He had just thrown a lot of information her way and he was not sure how she would take it all. Not all of it painted him in the most flattering light, but he wasn't going to lie to make himself look better. While he did not regret it, he felt a little guilty for the way things had taken place. He had never imagined himself doing something like that. Alcohol really did change him. This was the first time that such a stark contrast had been shoved in his face and now he knew that it would be best for him to stay away from the substance. If it could make him act in strange ways than it wasn't good. The revelation of his mother's addiction strengthened his resolve. He didn't want to become an addict and hurt those around him as she had done. Haven had devoted his live to making himself better than his blood and now he had even more things to keep at bay.
When Princess finally spoke again he felt his spirits lift. He looked back to her, managing a soft smile. It relieved him greatly to know that he had not upset her with what had happened between them. That she didn't feel abused or used. It would have made him feel like the scum of the earth if she had. "I'm glad. I was so worried I had hurt you..." He wasn't sure if he would have been able to live with himself if he had. It was the exact thing that he was trying to prevent. No, it wouldn't have been as bad as rape, but it would not have been much better. Too close for comfort. Honestly Haven was surprised at how well she took the news about Siobhan. He had really expected her to get angry and he would not have blamed her. Heaving a sigh he looked back to the floor between his feet. "Thanks. I don't know why she did either. Guess it doesn't matter much now though." No longer was he worried about answers, he just hoped that she was out of his life for good.
The hybrid looked at her with curiousity at her request that he not tell anyone what she would tell him about her. It seemed so odd to him. What could a sweet girl like her need to hide from others? Of course he wouldn't tell anyone, it just seemed peculiar to him. It was flattering that she was willing to share something with him that was so secretive thought. There was a trust growing between them and that was good. "I promise," he said, looking into her golden eyes. With all the talking he had almost forgot the wounds. "Oh yeah...another memento from her, though an indirect one." He still didn't understand why Ezekiel had attacked him. It made no sense.
As she moved around her room those jade eyes drank in her image and found himself smirking. He felt that night tickling at the back of his head no matter how hard he tried to push it away.
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2000+ I'm sorry for. . . The length? o-o;
#####It seemed as though he was relieved by what she had said, so for everything that had happened, she was glad she had taken to everything he said so well. Her apparent maturity had surprised even her, but she supposed it was because she didn't want him to leave yet. . . Princess didn't want him to feel like he had hurt her and that he needed to leave quickly. For whatever was forming between them, the girl wanted him to stay with her for a while longer. It was unclear to her whether was reasoning was because she was beginning to really like and trust him, or if it was simply because of the major step they had taken together, or if it was a combination of both. Obviously it was relative to what they had done, but she thought it to also be, and hoped for it as well, because of what was forming there. Otherwise, she would not have felt the bit of jealousy at what he had said about Si, and she also would not have felt smug about Si not having him anymore when she did, for the moment. It was a catty emotion, but it had been there, unspoken in the back of her mind.
#####Dipping one of the long strips of cloth into the bucket of water, Princess moved it around quickly until the cloth was saturated enough to drip continuously when it was lifted out of the tub. She repeated this process for more of the strips of material, occasionally finding that she needed to wring them out a bit before she could lay them over her thigh as she kenlt beside what she was working with. There were human things that could be used to heal wounds, she knew, and there were also plants that could do the same, but she had never been taught the uses of the various plants or human remedies. It was just as well, considering she had nothing at her disposal, but it seemed like a good enough substitute to use wet pieces of cloth to protect the wounds from any infection forming. At the very least, they would act as barriers against anything entering the wounds, so no bacteria would be able to sneak its way in and cause more pain than already was there from the actual wounds on his body. It was the wrong time to think of it, but Princess was distracted briefly by the very thought of his body, the way it had moved and looked that night.
#####When she had a sufficient amount of them gathered, as well as some dry ones too, just in case, Princess returned to Haven's side. For a very brief moment, she entertained the idea of seeing what was in the bottle of alcohol she had taken and hidden beneath her bed, because she knew that humans had once used something called rubbing alcohol to clean wounds, but it seemed unlikely that they were one in the same, so she quickly dismissed the idea of using it on Haven's many wounds. Whatever had happened between him and the one who gave him the wounds was all this Si's fault, so she knew that if she ever met her, Si would quickly realize just how much Princess knew about cruel treatment. Her mother had been a master at the unfortunate art, and though Princess hated her mother for some of the things she had done (despite the love that was still there for the older Chance woman), she knew that she had, in a way, learned from Tokyo's cruelty. If necessary, she could be the same way, and worse, if she ever saw the stupid girl that had hurt Haven so much. She'd make her regret what she had done, even though Princess was glad she was gone. It meant that she could call Haven. . . Not hers, really, but almost.
#####"If you tell anyone, I'll have to leave. . . Not just Crimson Dreams, but the area in general, forever," she warned, hoping that the idea would chase any idea of repeating what she would say to anyone right out of his mind. It was an extra warning, not meaning that she did not trust him to keep his promise, because she did. There had been too much said already about the situation; both Savina and Cercelee knew most of the story, as well as anyone her brother had told. Princess really did fear her mother, but she did not regret having told the story already, and one more time couldn't hurt any more than the others. Haven had been honest with her, and she wanted to be as honest as possible with him, as well. It would probably mean a lot to him if she could tell him everything, just as it had meant a great deal to her when he had come to tell her everything. "Ares isn't my only brother," she started, beginning to wrap Haven's wounds as she spoke. For her own sake, she was keeping her gaze on her own hands, knowing that she was bound to show some emotion that she would rather keep hidden away for her own personal torment later.
#####The statement was actually only half correct, so she continued, taking a deep breath before speaking because it would be a long story. "Well, he's my only living brother. . . I would have a sister or two, maybe. We had three siblings at birth, but I guess they could have all been boys or all girls, or any combination of them. My mom, Tokyo, she had a best friend, named Champ, but she got pregnant by someone named Raphael, and then Champ left her. . . She says he was in love with her and that he couldn't watch her have someone else's puppies. My dad left, and she insisted that he had forced her to do it. . . The day before I left Dahlia de Mai to come here - that's where my mom moved after we ran away, but I'll get to that after - she had tried to tell me that sex was a bad thing, and she said that nothing good ever came out of sex. . . Something she always told us," she added, wondering if he would question the timeline of events that had occurred. She had not been wanting to prove her mother wrong by having sex. It had just happened, plain and simple, but Princess hoped he wouldn't think that. What had happened between the two of them was not related to Tokyo Chance in any way.
#####"Anyway, there were five of us, but she didn't want us because we had driven her friend away, so she tried to kill us. Somehow, me and one of my brothers got away, far enough to hide until morning. . . We should have died with the others," she added, though she was still amazed that they had managed to get away at all. It had been a miracle. "The next morning, I guess she felt bad about it, so she came to find us. She named me Princess, because I looked like her mother, Ophelia. But my brother, he looked just like Raphael, so she named him. . . Remember what I yelled when he hit you? I accidentally called him by his birth name. My mother wasn't very mature, I guess, because she named him Buttface. He picked Ares on his own after we separated, and it's still kind of weird to call him that, you see." Hopefully, Ares would never find out that she was telling Haven this part of their story. It was understandable why he would choose to change his name, but the fact that his old name had slipped out so easily only helped to prove to her that it was strange to call him something different.
#####"Tokyo was really mean to him while we were growing up. . . Abuse and neglect. Any time I tried to be nice to him, like giving him some of the food she always gave me and not him, she would hurt him because of it." It hadn't been fair. Princess had only wanted to help her beloved brother, but he had been punished for her helping him in any way. "That's how it always was. I loved him, but he would get in trouble if I tried to be nice to him. . . She barely ever let him sleep with us. So when we were three or four months old, we ran away again, but this time, we did okay. We were both angry with her. . . Really, really mad. But just before we turned seven months old, I decided I wanted to confront her. . . I'm not sure why, really. But he wouldn't come with me, and I promised him that I'd be back soon, but I wasn't. I came here, and I found my mom. . . I'm a horrible girl. I fell right back into her trap, just because I so desperately wanted her to love me. I never went back tol him, until I found him here, about a month before I met you. He was angry, and we argued, but he'd been here for a while, too, and never found me. But then, we called Savina, and asked if I could come live here, with him."
#####Most of the important facts had already been told, as painful as they were in her memory. Still she hated herself for not going straight back to her brother after finding Tokyo, and she had never even actually confronted her mother. In a way, she was almost as bad as her mother, feeding the cycle of neglect throughout her life. "To come here, I had to come up with a plan. I couldn't just leave. . . I had to lie, and I asked Cercelee to lie for me, too. I don't know if she is mad or whatever, because she thinks I got kicked out, but I don't think. . . I don't think I'll ever really get away from her. I'm afraid that I'll end up being. . . Just like her," she admitted, feeling the slty pinpricks of tears forming in her golden eyes. She was thankful that she had chosen to not look at him the entire time she had spoken, but her hands betrayed her feelings, shaking as they were. Her shoulders shook violently, nulling her attempts to be okay throughout the entire explanation. Surely Haven would think her absurd for crying about something like that. It was in the past, and he seemed to have gone through a lot, too, and possibly still was. It was selfish of her for crying over something so likely trivial, in her eyes.
#####Using the back of her right hand to wipe at her eyes quickly and forcibly, Princess shook her head in hopes of stopping the well of emotion that was bubbling over. There were more important things to be done and said, she knew, as she wrapped the last of his visible wounds with the yellow cloth. Instead of standing, however, she stayed where she was, kneeling on the ground with her eyes on her own hjands, now folded in her lap. She would not continue to cry in front of him. Princess would not allow herself that liberty. She had not cried yet today, after everything that had happened and everything that had been said, so she certainly would not continue to cry over something she had been living with as her own demon for her entire life. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, trying to clear her throat quietly at the same time as speaking. "B-But, at least your wounds are all wrapped up. . . If you don't try to move around too much and do too much, they should heal fine, because they'll close up and probably won't even consider reopening if you don't stress them," she explained, though it was probably safe to assume that Haven knew how to take care of his own wounds. They had not been too bad when he had gotten here, so someone must have tended to them prior, and she was willing to guess it might have been him.
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500+
Silently he watched her prepare the torn cloth in the bucket of water, his eyes fixed on her delicate hands. His mind roamed for a moment or two on how good those same hands had made him feel that night and he forcefully coughed into his hand to try and drive the thoughts away. Thoughts like those made him feel warm in that certain way and neither of them needed that right now. He wished his mind would stop straying back there. It wasn't that he didn't want to remember, but he simply didn't want his body reacting to those memories in the way it wanted to. That would be incredibly embarrassing and he didn't want her to think or feel that's all he felt when he was around her. It wasn't at all, but he did have to admit it was part of it.
When she spoke again his eyes widened and his mouth opened partially in astonishment. He definitely hadn't been expecting anything so serious be the reason she required the secrecy. What had transpired in her life that was so bad? "I won't tell anyone, I promise. I...don't want you to have to leave..." Of course he would feel awful if his spilling the beans would mean she had to leave her home, but he also didn't want her to have to be away from him. He didn't know what this was or where it was going, but Haven wanted to see what would come from it. He had a good feeling about it. As the first saltwater soaked cloth touched his exposed skin he tensed and clenched his jaw, drawing air in through his teeth. Damn that stung! But he knew that it meant that it was doing it's job.
As her tale unfolded Haven was dumbfounded. Bi-colored ears drooped down to lay against his head and his eyes filled with empathy. He couldn't imagine her having to have endured so much at the hands of her own mother. Haven and his siblings had been born in similar circumstances and yet both his mothers had loved him and never shown him any hint of resentment or anger. He, who looked so much like the man that had caused Naniko so much pain and probably Anu as well. Things had been hard for his family, but now, hearing Princess' story he felt guilty for thinking he had had it so bad. At least he had had people to care for him and love him and all of his siblings when they were little. He hadn't had to witness his own mother kill his littermates. He could see her hands shake and he knew why she refused to look at him through the reciting of this sad tale.
The bandaging was finished and her telling of past was as well it seemed. She sat there, continuing to look at her hands and he wished there was something he could do. Almost without though his hands reached out and gently place themselves on her shoulders. "Princess, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine..." There was nothing he could say to make it better. What was done was done, he knew that better than most. "I...understand that fear. I was afraid of becoming like my father, I still am. He...raped my mom, and he's killed people. And I look like him..." His face turned into a pained and ashamed frown. "I have to believe that we can rise above it though. I have to believe that we can be better than our parents. I have to." If he didn't it would all fall apart.
One hand moved from her shoulder to brush against her cheek. "Don't be sorry. I understand."
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500+ ^___^ End at yours?
#####The fact that he was willing to keep her secrets made her happy, though it was hard to show it, considering the gravity with which she regarded her past with her mother. It had not been a threat, but was only meant as a warning. Her mother, upon finding her in Dahlia de Mai, had made her promise not to tell anyone about what had happened in the past. Not only had she been telling people bits and pieces, she was now going to tell Haven every detail she could think of to say while speaking. Whether she was telling him because she wanted him to know everything, or because she needed to tell someone everything and she trusted that he would not tell anyone, she did not know. It was very likely a combination of both, because she did hope she could trust him enough to keep them to himself, and she felt that he deserved to know anything about her that she was willing to share. At that moment, she was willing to share everything with the orange boy.
#####His hands on her shoulders reassured her some, and she leaned into him a bit, pressing one side against his leg. It was a touch coming from the need for comfort, but he was already giving her what she needed. It was nice that he could do that without needing to be prompted; he certainly was the knight he had claimed to be, in her eyes. Knowing that he had the same fear was also comforting, but she felt guilty then for everything she had felt about her past being so terrible. In perspective, her mother had been raped and was technically a murderer, and Haven's father had raped his mother and was a murderer, so there was really no need for her to feel as though his situation was worse and that she did not deserve to be angry and spiteful about her past. It was something they were both allowed to do and feel, but it was hard to think that she could have the same right as he did.
#####Finally lifting her head to look up at him, she sighed, shaking her head slightly. "I know you won't be like him, Haven. You're too nice, and too good to be like that." The words were spoken deliberately, as she knew them to be true, whether he did or not. It was just the same as she was afraid to become like her mother, but hoped it would never be like that. Unfortunately, it seemed that she did not have as much confidence as he did, when it came to her future and her mother's shadow hanging over her. She leaned against him with more solid contact this time, appreciating the feel of his leg against her cheek. "Thank you," she murmered, smiling at him timidly. It was a thank you for coming to see her, for the night they had shared, and for listening to her and understanding how she felt; whether or not he associated it with those things did not really matter, she supposed. Just as long as he heard her and knew that she meant it.
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Si!  300+
Haven understood the need for physical comfort in situations like this. You needed to know that someone understood, that you weren't being judged even when you were harshly judging yourself. He had done that for about a month straight, wallowing in self pity and booze alone in the city. He had been so mixed up, trying to run away from it in all the wrong ways. He was so thankful that Ruri and then Jac had come along to give him a purpose. It was being a knight that kept him going, kept him striving and working to be a better person. His pack depended on him. They looked to him for protection and he couldn't let them down. They weren't the only people who needed his protection either. Mati needed it, even though he apparently failed so often at doing that for her, he thought with a wince. After this he wanted to go and try to make things right with her, but he had a feeling that he wouldn't find her so soon. No doubt she was avoiding him. But now he also felt he had to protect Princess. He had told he would that night, and while it had been induced by his drunken stupor, he wanted to fulfill those words. Behind her confidence and strength she was fragile too.
As she leaned into him he couldn't help but let a small smile come to his lips. This all had gone better than he had hoped it could. As painful as each of their respective pasts and heritages were, they were able to connect on that level. They both knew what it was like to be afraid of the blood that you came from and that ran through your veins. Maybe they could help each other stay strong and not become what they had come from. Haven felt a weight lift from his chest as she spoke again. If anyone had cause to worry about him being like his father, it was her after what they had done together. But she didn't, she believed that he was good and hearing her say it meant more to him than he expected. "Thank you, it's good to hear that. It really is." It was not something that he could hear too many times. Each uttering gave him the strength to stay the path and work hard. "I can't believe that you'll be like your mother. You're kind and understanding...and forgiving," he said with a wry smile. At her thanks he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. No matter how this had started, he couldn't help but have a good feeling of where it could go.
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