[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">Important milestone for Pilot! Considering your schedule, short posts are fine.
Warily Phoenix stood at the edge of the avalanche, close to where his daughter had been pulled from the snow. She would most likely have died if the entire pack hadn’t mobilized to her rescue. For that, the alpha was grateful. But it also put some things into perspective for him. While this tragedy had brought the entire pack together and shown him that he could be a decent leader when not plagued by his own self-doubts, he still didn’t believe he could do this alone. He had asked Phasma to be his Gamma and help him get adjusted to the job, but instead she’d gone behind his back and refused to support him.
Pilot though… Pilot was a good wolf at heart. He had minimal leadership experience, but Phoenix had even less when Gibraltar had promoted him to that rank. The wolf raised by squirrels had already helped him out once or twice in an authoritative nature. More importantly, though, he had a good heart and cared about Storm and the wolves who composed it. An idea had formed in Phoenix’s head some weeks ago, and the event of the avalanche had finally cemented it into place. Wanting to speak to Pilot but being unable to find him, Phoenix had instructed Moon or Deirdre (whoever found him first) to tell Pilot to meet him here.
He didn’t know when Pilot would show up but the peace and quiet was a nice change from the norm. Fully shifted, Phoenix crossed his arms and took another look at the tattoo that now adorned his arm since last month: Storm’s symbol, a stylized lightning bolt. It was a symbol of pride for his pack, and love for each and every member within. He wanted to do what was best for his family, and he truly believed this was it. | [/html]
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Dierdre had come to him, telling him that Phoenix was expecting him in the northeastern expanse of Storm. With interest slightly peaked, Pilot set off towards that area of Storm that had recently been devastated by an unexpected avalanche. They had all been lucky – especially Ember - and Pilot was relieved to know that the pack was safe. At least, for now anyways.
Ever seen moving into their rather large semi-permanent den, Pilot had remained in his fully shifted form. Of course, making his way to Phoenix was taking a bit longer than normal, but he found himself becoming increasingly comfortable walking on two legs. That, of course, was all thanks to Phoenix. The very wolf that Pilot respected perhaps the most of anyone.
When he came upon the sight of the massive brown wolf, a small grin graced Pilot’s face. It was always a delight for him to be in the presence of such a friend – rather, family. Making his way over to Phoenix in the elevated snow took some effort and made Pilot look rather silly while keeping his balance, but he came to a rest only a few feet away and offered acknowledgement. "Dierdre said I might find you here. What’s on your mind?"
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">As he waited the massive male began pacing, more to keep warm than nerves, but the nerves were there. Perhaps this was the right thing for the rest of the pack, but he hadn’t before thought of what this would do to Pilot. Being a leader took a large amount of personal sacrifice. While it was a rewarding job, it also consumed time that could be otherwise spent on family, something that Phoenix knew Pilot wanted to have with Dierdre. He knew how much the couple wanted pups of their own. Phoenix intended to give him a choice, but nobody ever could know what they were getting into beforehand.
The first few months could be especially excruciating to get acclimated to the job—and Phoenix still wasn’t sure when he would get used to it, himself. Perhaps if he lived to be a nonagenarian, but that was physically impossible. But Pilot was different from him, definitely more upbeat, and Phoenix knew that much of his own stress came from his own head.
When Pilot finally showed up, in optime form like him, Phoenix returned his closest friends smile. That was all possible thanks to him. It was Phoenix’s gene that granted Pilot that ability, yet another thing that, in Phoenix’s mind, now linked them as family. He was just as much a brother to the massive male as a son-in-law. “I been doin’ some thinkin’,” Phoenix stated, trying to sound nonchalant. “Bein’ a leader ain’t easy, Pilot. Everybody lookin’ up t’me even when I don’t deserve it, everybody needin’ me t’help ‘em with this or that. It ain’t a fun thing, not one bit.” He paused, giving Pilot time to consider his words. He didn’t want to spring this on him all at once. | [/html]
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Looking at the expansive damage the avalanche had wreaked on their lands, Pilot could feel the pulse of his heart in his throat. It was amazing how snow could be so powerful as to steal this area away from the wolves, as well as the rest of the wildlife. There was no exact time frame for how long this devastation would remain, but Pilot looked forward to the spring in hopes the snow would be melt away. Until then, the pack’s terrain had been reduced, but surprisingly Pilot felt as if the morale had increased. Perhaps it was the personal connections that were strengthening due to their large shared den. Or perhaps it was the reassurance that no one had fatally fallen victim to the avalanche’s terror.
With Phoenix’s words, Pilot’s gaze remained steady. However, his attention was fully on his father in law. He spoke colloquial, but Pilot could tell there was something more on his mind. He hadn’t called him here merely for chit chat. It was something deeper. "I imagine it’s complex. I’m not sure if I could ever do it as well as you have. I’ve still got a lot to learn." He finally turned his gaze towards Phoenix, trying to read his expression. "You’re a good leader, Phoenix. I know it isn’t easy, but you’ve done this pack well."
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">Phoenix suppressed a self-depreciating chuckle when Pilot spoke. He sometimes wondered if the faith Iskata, his children, and Pilot held in him was blind. After all, it was one thing to be a father to young pups, a dedicated mate to the female he loved more than life itself, and a good friend; it was quite another thing to be a father figure and wise leader to a large group of wolves. Thus far in life he had risen to every challenge life threw at him but he always wondered when he would finally reach a mountain he could not mount, an hurtle he could not overcome. Thus far he had not failed Storm but only because he had he faith and support of his family to back him up. Without that, he didn’t think he would have lasted this long.
Nevertheless he tried to remain gracious as he finally looked down and into the eyes of the smaller wolf. “Thank you,” was all he could think of saying before deciding to move on. “But I don’t think I can do this job alone for much longer. We both got a lot t’ learn, an’ I need help. That’s what I wanted t’ talk about. I want you t’ be my right hand wolf, th’ next Gamma of Storm. B’fore you say yes or no, though, I wan’cha t’ really think about it.
“Bein’ a leader means a lot of personal sacrifice,” he went on. “Y’hafta be there for everyone else, an’ what you want comes second. It might even mean spendin’ less time with Dierdre, an’ I know how much you two wanna start a family of your own.” Sadly, it would be just one more distraction from that noble goal. Sharing a den with the other wolves probably put a damper on their attempts already. But perhaps it was for the best—with diminished hunting grounds and five puppies already in the pack, he wasn’t sure if Storm would even be able to support another set of hungry mouths. | [/html]
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Before Phoenix replied to Pilot, the starch white wolf had thoughts of his own filling his conscious. He was thinking mostly about first coming to Storm and his first impressions of those with authority. Gibraltar, mostly, who at the time was the leader. Pilot had been so amazed with the dignity that the old alpha had and instantly knew he was going to love the pack life. However, now that he was older, he knew that there was more to leadership than just the glory. He had just never experienced it for himself.
He listened inventively to what Phoenix had to say, making sure he heard everything. The offer was quite substantial and he agreed with Phoenix’s advice – he was going to need a minute to piece together his thoughts before he said anything. Almost instantly, his thoughts went to Dierdre. He knew that Phoenix struggled with finding time for his own family. Would Pilot also face this same challenge? They were, after all, becoming closer and thoughts of family loomed over their heads. Secondly, Pilot thought about the responsibilities a position like that would entail. Pack relations and helping to organize the pack were just two of the jobs. He knew there would be handfuls more to come when and if he ever accepted such a position. But was Pilot really cut out for it? After all, he wasn’t a conventionally raised wolf.
"I… I don’t know what to say, Phoenix, to be honest. I’ve never really thought of that being a possibility for me. Of course, I’ve always wanted what’s best for Storm and Gamma certainly is an enticing offer, but," he paused, trying to hide the dismay he felt from the rather surprising subject of their meeting. "Do you think I’m even cut out for the job? I mean, aside from being Altester now, I’ve never had much leadership experience." At least, nothing that had an official title.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">It had come full circle. Phoenix flashed back to the day Gibraltar had asked him to be his gamma. It had also been the day he’d brought Sun and Moon home after promising their dying mother he would take care of them. Before, he’d been an aimless, unloved wolf with no real reason to keep going, and then in the space of twenty-four hours he became a father and a leader. It had been overwhelming at first, but it gave him purpose in life. Pilot was not nearly as destitute as Phoenix had been then—but then he was quite a different wolf, probably due to his upbringing, or rather the fact that he’d had one no matter how unorthodox, when Phoenix hadn’t.
He had never figured out why Gibraltar had all of a sudden decided he needed a gamma. But then, he had never really tried to get close to his alpha, preferring instead to remain a respectful distance. At the time he didn’t seem to be having the same troubles the current alpha had. In fact he had rained almost a year before choosing a second in command. Phoenix had barely reigned five months. “Neither did I, when Gibraltar chose me,” Phoenix stated. “An’ I was a lot less sure of myself back then than you are now. ‘Sides, you help out with th’ pack all th’ time. You stepped up when Slade was actin’ outta line. I can’t think of anyone who loves Storm more’n you do an’ could help me run it better.” To Phoenix, it was not a matter of qualifications, but heart. “I don’t doubt that you can do it, Pilot, I jus’ don’t wan’tcha doin’ it if it end up makin’ you miserable.”
Though he remained outwardly neutral so as not to affect his friend’s decision, inwardly he hoped Pilot would accept. He needed the help. The burden hardest to bear was always lighter with another to help carry it. | [/html]
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He needed to sit down. Searching the nearby premises with a flick of his eyes, Pilot noticed a fallen tree only a few yards to his left. It wasn't a very big tree (which was why it was so easily toppled by the snow) but it would suffice enough to hold the considerably smaller than average frame of Pilot. "Uhh, I need to think for a second, Phoenix." He marched himself through the shin high snow and settled down on the horizontally lain trunk. His fingers found the comfort of the arrowhead necklace around his neck while his mind tried to weigh the responsibilities he’d face versus the life he had now.
The thing that really caught his attention was when Phoenix had mentioned it making him miserable. Was being a leader for others really that dreary? He didn’t think that Phoenix was constantly depressed due to his position of authority, but he did know that he regretted not having as much time with his pups. And then, Pilot had to wonder, would Dierdre understand that it was necessary for Pilot to have less time at home? That was, if he accepted the position. He didn’t want Dierdre growing upset because Pilot was inclined to help the pack more than spend time with her.
"I..." He stopped, making sure what he said was going to be the right answer. Then again, Pilot wasn’t sure if their even was a right answer. "Well, if you have faith in me, then I suppose I want to do what’s best for the pack." Pausing once more, Pilot had to consider. Would offering this position to Pilot really be in the best interest for Storm? Phoenix had made Pilot believe so, even if he was slightly skeptical about it. He needed to give him an absolute answer: yes or no, Pilot?
When he finally looked up to Phoenix once more, he had made up his mind. At least, he thought he did. As he opened his mouth to decline the offer, Pilot hesitated. The only thing that was stopping him was his fear of not being able to be an effective leader. But then his thoughts went to Phoenix and how he often felt as if he wasn't doing his job well enough for every one else. Pilot had to disagree with that - he had always thought of Phoenix as a great leader. Perhaps (and he sort of hoped) Pilot was similar to Phoenix - he just needed to be placed into a position of authority to realize he had potential to become a fantastic leader. "Well, I really hope I am doing the right thing, Phoenix," he started, as he searched for some reassurance that wasn't yet there. "I'd like to accept your offer."
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">Phoenix followed Pilot a few steps but gave him his space as he thought. He didn’t want to rush Pilot into a decision that he would regret later. He had planned to give Pilot a few days to think it over but every time he opened his maw to say it the words would not come. Was he being selfish? Perhaps he was being overly dramatic. Many of wolves had handled this job competently enough, and they were no more special than he. He wasn’t exactly miserable, but the responsibilities of leadership did weigh down heavily on his shoulders. He’d had many sleepless nights over this concern or that one. But then, hadn’t they (most of the time) worked out in the end?
Time seemed to freeze over as the lands around them while Phoenix waited for Pilot’s reply. He tried to act stoic, nonchalant, forcing his gave to wander the lands around them as if the last thing on his mind was the answer he waited for. But even the mists of their breaths seemed to hang unnaturally long in the air. When he would look back on this day, Phoenix for the life of him would not be able to recall what went through his head while he waited. It was like he was in suspended animation, awaiting Pilot to awaken him.
Finally the answer came, and a smile crossed Phoenix’s lips, not unlike the awkward smile Gibraltar had given him after he’d fatefully said yes. With the need for distance no longer required, Phoenix took a seat beside Pilot and wrapped an arm around his brother, his son-in-law, his best friend and second in command. The long sank into the snow under his weight some but still supported them above it. “I know I tend t’ worry too much,” he offered, “An’ you ain’t like that. So mebbe you’ll take to this job better’n me. An’ y’know somethin’ else?” he drew closer, as if a great revelation had suddenly occurred to him. Nevertheless a bit of a smirk formed across his muzzle as he spoke. “You’re pro’lly gonna be remembered for decades t’come, as th’first squirrel to lead a pack of wolves!” | [/html]
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Had he really done the right thing? He was about to decline the offer, but something grabbed a hold of him and caused him to change his mind. He hoped he wouldn’t let anyone down – Phoenix, most of all. For a moment or two he remained paralyzed with what this really meant. Pilot had just agreed to taking on a lot of responsibility. He only hoped that he would serve the position justice.
He stared towards the ground, brow arching in slight confusion and shock as to what had just happened. He studied the outline of his shins that seemingly disappeared into the white snow below. Only the presence of his friend next to him made his gaze break away. He openly invited the grip that presented itself around Pilot’s shoulders. Looking to Phoenix, Pilot couldn’t help but smile. The first squirrel to lead a wolf pack. The comic relief made the white wolf feel better about his decision, though he knew beforehand that he couldn’t remain stoic forever. Sooner or later there would be a smile. Phoenix just decided to serve it up sooner. "Thanks Phoenix." Letting the grip on his arrowhead necklace slip, he turned to face Phoenix. "I'll make the squirrels proud," he added with a soft chuckle.
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