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coli
Fall was upon the earth, a change that could not be stopped, could not be reversed. It was in a way death, slow and silent. Only the breath of the wind between dry leaves spoke of the winter that was to come. They rattled lightly in her ears, reminding her of the time that was running out. Not yet She begged, and yet a determination was held beside the plea. The chill brought a hardening stone inside, preparing her for what she could not predict. Winter was not far, and yet she wished to enjoy the bounty that would be the earth’s last until the new live spring would bring. Haven’s patch was blooming with color, even with the onset of death. The fruit of her labor seasons past were brought forth in the bloom and sprout of the pumpkins that she had planted. The rows were neat, a mirror of the garden that had so recently been put to rest. Leaving them on the vine for so long let them flourish and grow to the large round fruit that Anu had hoped. The best, most perfect had been severed and moved to the side. Ready for the celebration that she prepared for.
But it was not bent over the pumpkin plants that was the pose Anu held. Instead she had moved to the heavy branches of the fruit trees that lined one side of the patch. A bucket, an old crate were all they had. A ladder had been in her shed at one time, but Anu could not find it and was sure it had rotted and would not have been sturdy. Instead she stood beneath the tree, picking from the bottom up. The trees had been poorly pruned, yielding small apples among a rare large fruit. Each one she found she felt and examined it, blue eyes looking for bruises and imperfections. When she found that it had none, she placed it in the basket while the rest were tossed into the crate. What she would do with them she did not know, but it felt natural for her to rid the trees of their weight.
It left her with small moments of thought, as she examined each with a wasted effort. Still Anu was happy to expel it, whiling to forget the things that brought her unease. Every aspect of her life was a rise and fall of her emotional tide, her position in the pack, every aspect of her heart. Few things were stable and at times she felt as if she walked on something far from solid ground. The cut below her eye was testimony to the sporadic tempest that her life had become. Such experiences were littered among the moments such as this. Calm, quiet and simple. Light hued fingers trailed the healing cut and bruise that lay beneath her sandy silver fur. A reminder of her foolishness, a reminder of the power the emotions of love and hate played within one’s soul. The Dreamer returned to the apple tree, reminders forgotten and eyes seeking perfection.
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WC: 700+
Fff, I end up typing novels when I reply to things out of order. :> And, once Coli's plot thread with Leland concludes, she's going to defect for good. Yay!
The river water had been absolutely frigid, but she had still slipped into it that morning, hurriedly scrubbing the garden earth from her warm brown fur before the icy cold became too much. The next step had been a mad dash back to her untidy cabin, where the fireplace was happily crackling, warming the room so that she could dry herself off. Once her teeth had stopped chattering, and her thin Optime fur was no longer sodden and dripping, she delicately tossed a handful of the aromatic bracken into the fire. The pleasant scent of the woodsmoke mixed with the aroma of the potpourri, quelling her anxiety at the same time it dried (and perfumed!) her pelt.
She used an old dishrag of Deuce's to buff her claws and smooth down her frizzing coat, and then she meticulously ran her claws to comb the long hair of her mane. She had shorn it shorter a moon or two ago, but it was nearly back to the same length it used to be. Now she was presentable. Hopefully. The pale sun had risen overhead by the time the obsessive werewolf completed her menial tasks, trying to look decent before she made the long walk to visit her... lover. No, that didn't sound right. But they had admitted their feelings... they were more than friends, after all, despite their demure relationship. A tinge of pink colored her cream-furred cheeks, and the blushing girl shook her head, embarrassed even in the safety of her own home.
Colibri set out swiftly, her fleet pace carrying her quickly past the scent borders of her home pack. She did not want to risk the humiliation of explaining to the border patrol why her fur smelled like vervain and balsam pine needles, or why she had a battered old tea kettle tucked under one arm, stuffed with rooted flowers and sloshing with spring water. She especially did not want to explain why she was spending so much time outside of her pack, or who it was she kept meeting with. The shame would send her straight back to her cabin with her tail between her legs, and she was already overdue for a visit. Anu was a leader, after all, and could not be expected to drop all of her duties just to visit the good-for-nothing that had somehow managed captured her heart.
Her whirling thoughts made the journey go by faster, although the gusty winds had grown more fierce as she drew close to the borders. There were dominant scents here, and she recoiled at the thought of meeting the angry Commander, or the tough warriors who protected her. Soon, soon enough she would be their ally; but for now, she was a trespasser, and needed to keep a low profile. She wanted to find Anu as a surprise - and not the sort of surprise that involved being frog-marched by a guard. The slender werewolf kept low and flitted between the trees, shying away every time she caught a whiff of the border patrol here. She had always been good at avoiding attention. Keen blue eyes searched every ray of sunlight, trying to find the place in the forest that Anu had met her in the rain. She had been nearby, hadn't she? Her house must be close...
But when she spotted the sandy-grey werewolf, she wasn't relaxing at home but instead toiling in a garden, neat rows of pumpkins unfurling before her eyes, framed by the wizened branches of a patch of apple trees. Coli caught her breath, transfixed by the nature spirit at work - the fluid deft movements, her expert fingers selecting the apples she wanted to claim, a gentle rhythm dictating her collection. Her heart immediately sputtered, trying to speed up and skip a beat at the same moment.
Clutching her unruly chest with one hand and her flower-filled kettle with the other, the Dahlian crept to the edge of the apple trees, warily making sure Anu was focused on the tree at hand. She nestled the kettle between the curling roots of the apple tree, arranging the uprooted plants so that their late blossoms faced smiling upwards to greet the dutiful apple-picker. Then Coli crept back into the shadows of the forest, watching from afar with a giddy smile plastered on her muzzle. Of course she would come out as soon as Anu discovered her gift, but she wanted to ensure the best possible mood before she made her entrance.
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lol! i had every intention of this being a 'short' post thread, for the sake of ease... but that doesn't seem to happen w/ you..
wait? whats going to happen???
A tardy bee hovered around her nose. You are late Anu thought. So very late. The blossoms had come some time again, and passed not long after their bloom. And yet he remained, hoping to find a flower as late as he was and pollinate it with the best of his efforts. Or perhaps he smelled the sweetness of the fruit on her fingers. Anu was only a wolf, and could not withstand picking the fruit without trying a small bite. She had chosen one with a bruise, hurt slightly on the outside and with a soft spot but it was sweet and tasted so wonderful that it spoke of the labor the Sun had given in order for it to grow. She could still taste the sugar on her lips, maybe that was what the bee wished for. Anu smiled, plucking the next apple in her reach. The branches around her were quickly stripped and with a fluid and practiced ease the female ducked below one of the low arms and moved to where she had not picked the tree bare.
It was the scent that took her eyes off the red bulbs that hung from the limbs. Her smile grew, for it instantly reminder her of the Dahlian that sang so sweetly to her heart. Eyes like water turned downward and saw the thing that had spoken to her nose. Her body moved to the ground, a knee on the soft dirt that knew her body so well, molding to her pressure like the hand of a familiar friend. It was a teapot, or so she thought. But it was not the container that told the story but the faces that smiled up at her. Summer was not forgotten, but held in their faces and their petals. Nimble fingers felt the satin of the petals texture, her heart beating sweetly yet quickly in response. There was only one that could give her such a thing, and Anu did not shy away from seeking the sight of her out among the trees that the Dreamer stood within.
Eyes did not need to search long or far. The chocolate wolfess stood just beyond the shadow the forest barrier cast, her bright cerulean eyes easy to catch and hold. Anu stood, forgetting the branches she stood among and yet missing each with ease. The apples were forgotten, the flowers a warm very distant memory for the moment. Her quest to pick perfection, to find sweetness within an imperfect shell so suddenly triumphant. Anu had sent her away in the rain of their last meeting, but the Sun shone above them this day and his glow warmed her back as her heart warmed her chest. Its beat fast, yet she heard not a single note, her smile was what spoke of her happiness to see her. Anu approached, glad that Coli had gained the courage to venture deeper into her territory. She would find no enemy here, for Anu ruled this pumpkin patch.
Anu did not remain an arms length away, Colibri Haki loved her and Anu would not shy away from the reality. The older female watched her face wanting to see that same happiness in it features as she felt herself. Her voice was light, her smile declaring her joy, her eagerness to be close.
“Colibri, what have you come to tell me?” The woman questioned, lightness and even humor in her tone. In the past she had felt sadness when speaking those words, dreading what she might say. But now, she only wished to hear her tell her how she felt, how ever simple or complex it way be. Together they were never simple, the words they shared heavy and holding hidden messages that neither could predict. How would now be any different?
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Nonsense. No such thing as short. :> And, and, um, secret things happen! Hrm, it is 3:30am, and I had already laid down to go to sleep, but I woke up to write this reply... I hope I remember having done this when I wake up. :O
She should have known she would be spotted right away, but it still brought her a wave of giddy excitement to see the light of recognition shining in the Dreamer's eyes. Colibri could not wait for Anu to approach her, and slipped free into the sunlight to meet her halfway, marveling at how every step closer made Anu look lovelier. This was her home, the earth she tended to, the fruits she'd reared. And Coli did not feel out of place in the other woman's garden - rather, it made her feel like a fellow plant, craving the gardener's attention. She was greedy enough to desire all of Anu's time and resources, the neediest flower of all, but oh, it made her so happy to do so...
"You sh-should hang onto that kettle," Coli swallowed, shyness tripping up her tongue before she continued, "f-for when I move in with you." There, she had said it aloud! Her boldness knew no bounds. She reached out hesitantly, her fingers brushing against Anu's pale-furred wrist. They were allowed to hold hands now, right? Since Anu said they could love each other, and that's what lovers did. Supposedly. Her mind flashed back to a conversation months ago with her auntie Mew; respectable and brave Mew had transformed into a blushing, giggling schoolgirl at the mention of her lover, Lubomir. Coli hadn't understood it back then, but surely she did now - that irresistible sensation of flying, invoked from the simplest touch or even a fond memory. Love brought hope.
Her hand faltered, and dropped. Her adoring gaze had caught sight of the healing cut, the bruised mark that marred the perfect balance of Anu's delicate countenance. "Wh-what... you got hurt, Anu!" she stammered, concern welling in her soulful eyes. She bit her lip, ears tipping back anxiously as she dithered in place, trying to decide whether it was more appropriate to attempt to dress the minor wound or leave it be. Her first thought was that an unruly branch had slashed the older woman's cheekbone, but that could not be - no plant would ever harm such a benevolent gardener. She must have been struck by another creature.
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hehee, yeah your right. :3 ... & secrets don't make friends. xD
Blue eyes watched her face, noticing all the changes in her face. She saw the shyness, the hesitation. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t feel them too, but Anu couldn’t find any fear left in her mind. Coli had scared her, the fear that she would end up hurting her in the end had once been overpowering. Anu no longer believed that would happen. She willingly placed her heart in the young woman’s hands, ready to guide her though the tender care of it. The softest smile graced her face as she waited patiently for the Dahlian to speak, and when she did the words made her smile turn to a grin, playful and dangerous at the same moment. Eyes caught the gaze of the Souls wolfess, and her words played with those she had spoke. “It will be waiting in my room for you.” Anu would not have her sleeping anywhere else, not unless the female objected with the idea. She knew her room was large enough for two, the window over looking the garden they stood in. And her bed was far too big for just one. The Dreamer felt the presence of her hand around her own, and for the briefest of moments Anu stood still and waited for the hesitant female to make the bold move of taking her hand, her eyes straying and looking at more then just the beauty’s face.
When she felt the distance, Anu looked back to her face, unsure what it was that made Coli grow cold. The words made Anu remember that her face was far from perfection, but her tone was far from frigid. It was full of concern and Anu felt the rise of heat in his cheeks. She placed a hand at the injured cheek, a smile still gracing her features. “Its nothing.” Anu spoke in truth, for the small wound was certainly nothing to fret over. She did not want to bring Coli's father into their world, not now. He still hated the brown and cream hued woman, and such a thing could be kept from her, couldn’t it? Though when she chose to not speak about the incident Anu felt like she was keeping something for her new love and the feeling was more then unsettling.
She took her hand. “Would you hate me if I put you to work?” she asked with a teasing look on her face. They could continue the work in among the apple trees, picking the best of their fruit. Anu wanted to know how her relations with Dahilia were coming along, if she was ready to finally join her where she would be appreciated and loved. Was she ready to leave the pack that held the monster that was her sire? Anu hated to think of the ragged scarred male, his fluid words and his poisoned charm. Anu led her into the trees, past the kettle was would so be the newest accent of her room. She didn’t expect the woman to feel out of place among the trees, yet Anu kept close and stood beside her between the arms of the apple bearer. She picked the first that she saw that was just near perfect. “Now,” Anu spoke, looking at the apple as if she had suddenly grown shy, “when will you be coming back for your tea pot?” The question was felt to the air as Anu reach for another apple, higher then the first.
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Jailbait to the rescue~! ;D
"waiting in my room for you... waiting... in my room... for you..."
Coli heard the phrase echoing in her mind as the scarlet blush stained her cheeks. They wouldn't just be sharing a garden or a house as she had pictured, they would be sharing a bedroom...! She couldn't help herself from imagining the soft feel of their bodies pressed against each other in the cold winter months, falling asleep in each others' arms, waking up with a kiss... She quickly shook her head, trying to snap herself back to reality. Oh, how tempting it was! She had never known this kind of attraction, never anticipated how magnetic the pull would be. She couldn't muster any verbal response other than a faint squeak. Why was she plagued with such an overactive mind? She could barely focus on the gentle beauty before her, without her daydreams whisking her elsewhere.
The small wound brought her temporarily back down to earth. Coli bit her lip anxiously, wanting to believe that it was just a scratch, but worried that she was being brushed aside. She wouldn't press the issue. After all, she was hiding something unpleasant as well, if only for the sake of keeping Anu's smile. Her fingers cupped around Anu's hand, acquiescing wordlessly. The concern was still shining in her guilty eyes, but the shy young woman could not ask again without sounding doubtful, and she was loathe to shake their mutual trust.
The sandy-furred werewolf took her hand and left her breathless, a hopeful smile chasing away her brooding. Her tail waved happily behind her as she replied coyly, "How could I ever hate you? It would be my pleasure to help." She padded obediently after Anu -- she would follow this woman anywhere, it mattered not -- trying fruitlessly not to blush or stumble. Both of her hands were clasped needily about Anu's paw, unwilling to let go unless instructed to do so.
The low-growing branches of the apple trees brushed lightly against her shoulders, their soft leaves rustling as they crept gracefully into the shade. The seclusion was welcoming, peaceful in its natural quiet. It had occurred to her that she might get her beloved in trouble if they were seen together. She didn't know how strict this pack was, but what they had between them felt so intimate and secret, she had not dared tell anyone else. Being cloistered away in the protective embrace of the fruit-laden trees felt much safer for the both of them.
Colibri leaned forward subconsciously as Anu spoke, her ears perked forward to hang on every word. She then swallowed, face pensive as she tried to formulate the right response. She wasn't nervous for fear of rejection, per se -- it was simply a fear of saying the wrong thing, something that would upset this evanescent beauty. She couldn't wait to try living here, a new life, a fresh start. Why had she hesitated so long? It was an open invitation... "I'll... be here before the first snow," she promised tentatively, hoping that winter would not come early and make a liar of her. It wasn't hard to guess why she was putting off her farewells -- confrontation was so difficult for her, enough to make her physically ill, and two of the three Dahlian leaders had a deep vested interest in her (either love or hate). Could she chicken out and state her defection to Cwmfen nic Graine? The answer was no again, because Cwmfen was an intimidating stranger and therefore just as difficult to approach. It all felt beyond her, so far over her head. Sighing reluctantly, Coli let one of her hands fall away, reaching up to pluck a shiny apple above her head.
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anu needs to seriously get to robb'n this cradle!!
It worried her, filled her with guilt when she was not open with Colibri. There was something far more then just an attraction between the two. There was more then just the tentative kiss to fill their history. Anu found Coli to be someone that knew her. Knew the simplicity and the serenity that she lived. It was deeply embedded in the pair, the earth tainted hands, the calm blue eyes that filtered in the color of sky and water. Anu wanted to know each thought, each emotion as she wanted to share her own. To do so was to find a reflection of love, to fulfill her need to cherish and protect. Closing the truth away was unnatural, but the idea of letting Haku steal any moment from them was far worse.
She entered the trees with no resistance, and as the two stood between their boughs they fell into a world all their own. There was no reason to fear, for this was her home and no one would judge them. Savina was very much aware of her preference, and all others were in no place to judge. But the pair was alone, in her garden and her sanctuary. It was not that she didn’t allow visitors, Coli’s presence was a testament to that, but rarely did anyone venture inside. This was her home, and soon to be Coli’s and there was nothing either of them needed to worry. In the garden, or anywhere. Coli would be welcome.
A gentle hand reached up and touched the fruit. It was small, not yet ready to be picked. It would be tart, that was only if she bit into it now. But its coloring, a red that melted so perfectly with its opposite, green, made it perfect. She would save it, let it ripen and grow sweet, before savoring its taste. Blue eyes looked at it as she held it, wishing all things could be so perfect. At the sound of her voice Anu looked back at the Flower wolfess, a soft smile graced her lips at the words. Anu understood that it was not easy to leave a pack, not one that she had been a part of for so long. Phoenix Valley saw her back the moment Anu wanted to be with Naniko. There was so much that she gained from that decision.
Fingers traced over the apple thoughtfully, before adding it to the rest. Eyes returned to the face of the younger wolfess. She smiled with kindness and understanding. “I know it isn’t easy.” her voice sang, eyes holding the sight of the other female. “I left a pack, to be here as well.” Anu was happy to be a Dreamer, and as she spoke the words the thought was confirmed. “I don’t regret it.” No, she didn’t regret that she stood beside her or that she was second in command. She didn’t regret that she was once Naniko’s mate and called her four pups her own. Anu couldn’t regret that it was that single decision that had led her to this moment and to so many others.
A hand took the strand of fur that threatened to cover the chocolate wolfess’ face and moved it back. “I have never prayed for snow. before” She remarked, her smile deepening.
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yush! and I hope I am worth the wait! :o
Their arboreal halcyon was the most beautiful place that she could have imagined. The soft, sensual leaves brushing against their fur; the heavy drifting scent of the ripened fruit, adding splashes of color all around them; the occasional wind whispering sweet nothings to their souls. Anu brought out the best in nature, her very presence a catalyst to make the flowers bloom and the grass sing around her. As her captivating voice broke the stillness, Coli drank in every word, listening without a sound in return. She would not dream of interrupting such a symphony. She was surprised, though, to learn another tidbit of her lover's mysterious past - she had left another pack...? Who would ever let her slip through their fingers?
Her breath caught in her throat, keenly aware of Anu's fingertips hovering above her sensitive skin, brushing loose strands of her silken mane from obscuring her wide blue eyes. She started to subconsciously lean in towards her warm touch, but quickly caught herself before the tiny gesture gave her away. How she longed to be held.
"I... I... do you believe in angels?" she asked suddenly, shuffling her footpaws sheepishly. It was not the smoothest non sequitur, but nothing that came from her lips ever was, not when she was frazzled by Anu's cool grace. Anu had always seemed otherworldly, heavenly, and even knowing her down-to-earth roots did not dispel the notion. But Coli wasn't referring to that romantic notion; it was the best way she could think of to bridge the topic she had dreaded. She couldn't just dance around it forever, the guilt would eat her alive. And if it drove her to repeat the mistake, well, that would be unthinkable. No, she had to pay the green-eyed angel back in some way; her memory of that night was dizzying and patchy, but she could remember his voice, and he had urged her to find a reason to keep on living. "In... in the pack my m-mother was from... they believed in a lot of things. Religion, angels and demons, that stuff... they taught it to me when I was little." Before they dumped me.
Colibri glanced curiously up to the gentle features of the woman she had come to love, come to associate with hope itself. "Most of it seems rather silly now," she admitted, ears falling back as she smiled in embarrassment. She hadn't met anyone else who knew or cared about religion. She never entirely understood why it had meant so much to her maternal relatives, why it made her a 'child of sin'. She hadn't done anything wrong, but perhaps they had been right all along. If her father was a demon, she could hardly escape his shadow. Not without the help of saviors, anyway. Ohh, Anu would laugh at her if she ever explained how highly she thought of the Dreamer! A pure-hearted soul, a spirit of nature, a divine beauty. "But, anyway... I th-think... I might have actually met one...?" her voice trailed off into a question, guilt creeping into her expressive countenance. He must have saved her to make Anu happy. If only she was capable of that. Wouldn't Anu be happier not knowing? This was a bad idea, she shouldn't finish the story, it wouldn't end well. Nervously, she plucked a leaf from the apple twigs, folding the thin membrane over and over between her pawpads. She should work on not blurting things out so often. She couldn't ruin this.
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;D
She felt it hard to look away from the females face, finding that she wanted everything that she saw. To look away would give her a change to be stolen away, and Anu wanted it all for herself. The trees, the things in nature that Anu loved most, held the pair within their arms. Their cradle would keep them safe, shielding them from the world and ensnaring the chocolate woman in a stronger grasp then the Dreamer possessed. The sandy grey woman let her fingers fall away, grazing the ends of her silk soft mane as they retreated back to her side. If the thoughts could be read, Anu would have found that her feelings, her wishes matched those Colibri held. The apples were easily forgotten as Anu watched and listened, engrossed in the words and thoughts that the young fey expressed. Her voice was soft, hesitant and holding the youth and innocence that Anu lacked.
Her question, or just the sound of her words, or the fact that she was merely here with her, made Anu smile once again. It was easy to forget that this was not another one her dreams. Coli’s question made it reality. “I guess.” She answered, wondering what she was talking about. It mattered little, where she wished to bring their conversation, Anu was only pleased that they were having it. The electricity between them fired at each wolf’s movement. The subtle shift of the Haki wolf's stance made Anu more and more aware of Coli’s form. “I believe that some have a spirit brighter then most, more pure.” her words softly spoke. The Sun did not have angels, but owned those that held a soul that shone more brilliantly and worked towards the peace of their kind. Lived a life in hopes of finding the good in others. Maybe they were angels.
Anu took in the history Coli generously gave, she had not know that Coli had not lived in Dahila, only the tale of her retched father. She did not know they had left her, and would not have guessed that any could do such a thing to a soul as bright as hers. The older female shook her head slightly, not wanting her to feel silly for any reason while they were together. Anu held all the words, remembering and keeping each as viable as the last. She remembered the Inferni dog, his faith and his passion towards it. In her world there was no sin. There was right and wrong, pleasure and consequences for actions and choices. But there was no mark that claimed one to be a sinner, and another pure and clean. There was no right of reconciliation, only forgiveness. Anu watched with an ever-growing curious gaze. The last statement and trailing question made her wonder, wonder who it was that she met, and why they were now an angel. Were they as tangible as the bright, clean souled angel that Anu had found?
She did not know what question to ask, and for a moment Anu only watched. Her smile did not fade, the apple in her hand forgotten. It was obvious that Coli was nervous, the tension seeping into the small space between them. Anu wanted to know what it was the made her so uneasy and so suddenly. If it was talk of faith and belief then they didn’t need to speak of it again, but Coli had been the one that brought the subject to life… “How do you know they are from heaven?” that was where angels, were from. Beside a god that lived higher then the Sun, and beyond anything Anu fully understood. “What is their name?” she questioned, curious to know what sort of name Colibri's angel would hold.
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WC:574 // phooey, wanted to have this up before you got back. :<
When the warmth of kindness in Anu's eyes did not waver or face, Coli felt herself letting down her guard. It wasn't that she was ever afraid of Anu mocking her, it just -- just seemed as though things were easier between them without whatever lay in their pasts. Coli hadn't thought about the mother she never knew in quite some time now, and had pushed aside the raw wound Deuce and Willow had left, and it had been easier to breathe. It was embarrassing to admit to her humble origins and needs, especially in the presence of the most shining and beautiful soul she had ever met. She liked Anu's version of the ideals. A pure, bright spirit. Anu was a star, then, like the sun itself.
"...I almost died," she blurted, cringing. "And, and, he had to be an angel, because he saved my life, for you! He told me to live for you. So, he must have known how important you are without even having met you, so he had to be... otherworldly..." Coli's breathless words trailed into nothing, and she screwed her eyes tightly shut, unwilling to see the shock and trepidation in her Anu's eyes. If it had been a random near-death experience, wouldn't she have come running to her lover's side for comfort? The guilt had kept her far away because it had been her own fault, her own hand that chose the poison.
Poison had always fascinated her, but she had never had the courage to test it on herself before. Especially not with the intention of suicide. She was still so confused; her most lucid thought from that night had been wanting to die for Anu, because that would be the most noble of sacrifices, and only that way could she let the Dreamer live burden-free. Colibri just couldn't stay away on her own right, so -- if she disappeared mysteriously, never to be seen again, Anu would move on and find someone more worthy of her status... and be happier in the long run. Coli only brought misery in her pathetic wake.
"For a while... I thought that the ultimate act of love would be to die for someone," she admitted, swallowing hard. It wasn't exactly admitting to the mistake she'd made, but it was one of the thoughts that had been first and foremost in her depressed stream of conscience. She knew she weighted down everyone around her, and she was tired of being a disappointment. She couldn't seem to please anyone, no matter what. "But that's not right, is it? It means even more to l-live for that someone..." I'm sorry. I almost lost you. She licked her lips nervously, ears tipped backwards. The apple trees around them didn't feel as warm and welcoming anymore; their reaching branches entwining almost into a craggy barrier, forcing away the outside world because it was too much to deal with. Anu was still close, and Coli longed to feel her warmth, but stood stiff-shouldered and tense, awaiting her verdict.
Honesty was better than lying... wasn't it? Or had she betrayed some silent trust by pussyfooting around the actual truth -- that if some strange wolf-dog hadn't been passing by, she would have let the cold numbness of the nightshade overtake her completely? The pressure of it all was too much. How was she supposed to make this decision, leaving one home for another, all by herself...?
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haHA! ... i love them.
Wondering what angels had to do with their world Anu found that she let the shocked feeling reach her face as Coli spoke. The words came form with haste and Anu only stood in silence. Her breath slowed, as her mind replayed the words again and again. Angels rescued souls; Anu understood that. How had she not thought of this? Still it came to her as a shock, to think that Colibri had almost been lost and Anu had known nothing of it. And there was beast out there that was responsible to saving her. A beast that she may never meet, may never be able to thank. The Dreamer watched the emotions play on her face, the guilt, the pain of remembrance. Nothing came that explained how such a thing had happened. Was there someone that had tried to kill her? Was she still in pain? The questions riddled her mind and Anu fought to stay composed.
The emotions welled. A tide that rose inside. Remaining silent was all that kept it from flooding her eyes, her words and spilling out into the world. She didn’t understand, not completely. Her voice came again, eyes still closed and not wishing to see her face. Anu knew not how to take it. It was overwhelming, uncontrollable and unexpected. The tide rose. “I don’t understand.” Anu admitted. She wished she did, fully and without question. What she did know was that Colibri stood before her, at the hand of an angel and from a will that her own name birthed. She mattered that much? The thought slipped its way in her mind and Anu lingered on it for a mere second before shooing it away. Coli had almost died, her will to live lost and it was her face that had brought to back to life.
The tide subsided. The shock no longer lingering on her features. Anu had clung to a woman once, on the edge of the world and wishing that if one was to die the other would die as well. It was life that she needed now, it was life that Anu felt in the younger female, and it was what she felt when they touched. Anu would never be angry, not with the chocolate fey. She wondered if Colibri would ever trust that she would only love and never hurt her. Her voice was different as she spoke again, “Living is harder.” Anu looked at the Dahlian’s face. No longer could she remain lost to her touch, taking her hand and touching the side of her face. She moved slowly, touching Coli’s chin in search of her gaze. Never go She thought as she finally caught the blue orbs that held everything she searched for. In the silence Anu affirmed her love for the woman, and the fear that was struck at the thought of her alone, dieing.
Anu took a breath, eyes searching for the answer to a question yet asked. She tried to speak, her lips parted slightly and yet her voice would not come. Again, she tried and finally, softly, she questioned. “Did you want to die?” The thought of it almost brought Anu to tears. Her hand did not fall, and she wished to touch more of her. To feel her form would know that she was not lost, beneath an angel’s gaze and breathless. The comfort of her warmth would tell of her beating heart, speak of the will to live.
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Colibri stood stiffly, feeling a sudden chill chasing down her spine. She tried not to shudder as she waited, letting the words sink in, ruminate, drawing a conclusion from her half-story. It had been a flower, of course. The moonlit bloom had tempted her, sang a siren's song offering forgiveness. For that brief moment, she had wanted to erase her existence to let those who knew her grow. But that was not the only way to stop being a burden, and the angel had sternly reminded her of this. Anu spoke, and the younger werewolf flinched slightly, almost yearning for a harsh rebuke instead of the soft disappointment she was given.
She bit her lip, pointed teeth barely breaking the skin. The salty tang of blood lingered in her senses, distracting her from the difficult answer. Would it be acceptable to burst into tears? It seemed an appropriate response. "...I don't know," she admitted in a husky whisper, her straying fingers gravitating towards Anu's hand, the warm touch that held her trembling form earthbound. Coli struggled to swallow the painful lump in her throat, a weakness in her knees making her feel as though she could collapse to the dirt without a moment's notice. Whomever said it was best to let the truth out must never have had a secret like this, because it definitely would have been better if she hadn't brought this up at all. In some ways, this was more painful than the experience itself. Surely her wild heartbeat would stutter to a halt any second now. The erratic ups and downs Anu put her through, she suspected cardiac arrest was in her future.
"Living is harder, but I want to give it a try for once," she quickly blurted, small hands clutching lightly at Anu's extended wrist. She didn't want to let go, not when she had gained perspective on the bond they shared. So little time had actually been spent side by side, but when it was the only sunlight shining through the gloom, she was sure to cherish every memory. "If... you still... want me to," she added awkwardly, frown tugging at her woebegone expression. Not that she expected to be killed or anything dramatic like that, but Colibri relied so heavily on Anu's love and support, being cut off felt the same as a life sentence. If her Anu didn't believe in suicide, or couldn't trust her after the foolish mistake she had committed, then... there was nothing she could do other than beg for forgiveness. The thought of it made the shimmering tears well up, blurring her vision as she struggled to hold them back. She hadn't even realized that Anu was not faring much better.
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they can discuss haku another time... i like this better xD
The air grew cold, even as the two females had grown so close. The heat was lost in the truth that lingered between them, as well as the question that had been asked. Anu didn’t understand, did not know what it was to want to be dead. Life was all that she knew, for there was nothing past this existence. The notion of another had been spoken before, along with angels and hell and heaven. But Anu could not see those things being true, not in the way that would allow for another life after this one. So Colibri would have wished to be gone, forever. And now, as she spoke her answer, she did not know if it was death she sought or if it was life. Anu felt the thin fingers encircle her wrist, the pressure of their hold distracting from the thoughts that tore at her heart’s edges. The weight of their pressure made Anu let go, her hand grown weak, and falling away from Coli’s face. It fell to her neck, the tips of her finger fearfully touching the soft fur for a stolen moment.
There were no words, nothing that Anu could say that would bring the hope back into the other’s heart, the confusion and the sadness still lingering in her mind. Eyes had fallen away, not sure what to look at, though they needed to be forced to look away. It was not until the uneasy words came from her mouth that Anu let them take her face in again. Did she? Anu looked at the brown and cream colored female, the question evolving and surrounding every aspect of the woman. Did she want this? Did she want to try again after having been apart, after having been a reason for one to take their life, and at the same moment a reason for them to live? She did not notice that her breath had heightened, no longer the low and calm that was its normal.
“Yes.” Anu spoke, the weight of emotion stealing her voice. She wanted her to try, wished that she would. Anu was too weak to stand and say Colibri needed to live on her own accord. She just wanted her to live, for any reason. It was selfish to want her, in any form and in any way. But Anu needed her. She knew that the young fey saw her as strength, but it was not true. She was just as weak as any. Her bravery as pulled from thin air and nothing but blatant risk. Leaping from a cliff and hoping that there would be someone there to catch her. Falling, again and again. Anu had wanted to be rescued, wanted to be caught and held. She needed to her as much as Colibri needed a reason to live. “I want to help you.” Anu spoke in a whisper. She didn’t need to live alone, didn’t need to go it alone any longer. “Let me help you.” they could be courageous together, holding on to one another to keep from falling.
Anu let her hand battle gravities pull and felt the soft fur of her back. It was tentative and light, no pressure in the touch. Her fingertips explored the cashmere pelt as if it was the first time she had ever touched her. There was something new about the touch, gravity no longer keeping them grounded and instead shifting to pull them together. Anu fought it, hesitating incase the other female had suddenly decided that she no longer wished to be held.
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[html] WC:422 // switching to winter table!  oh, and sorry for always being such a pain, I'm just slow all around. ;o; you can have last post if you want to!
She tried to blink back the tears threatening to overflow. The pause, it had gone too long, there was hesitation... Would she be rejected, then? She must have ruined the one good thing she had, all of her indecision and backpedaling and promises broken... Why had her life been spared, then, if she was just to be cast aside anyway? Cold was creeping into her, numbing her fingertips, dulling the sensations. This was it. She gritted her teeth, trying to muster up the nerve to look Anu in the eyes, to take the words face to face, but when they came... It was not what she had assumed. Her grip weakened and fell to her sides as Anu's touch stirred something within her, lightened her heavy soul with the very warmth of her existence. Her breath hitched in her chest, disbelief melting into a stunned exaltation.
"...Nn," she whined softly, a wordless mewl pulled unbidden from her throat. She couldn't deny this attraction. Coli had never known desire before Anu, and couldn't possibly feel this way for anyone else. There was always such tension, such vibrating magnetism between the two of them; by the lake, in the garden, in the rain, in the sun. Their environment was always second-best to the vivid look in Anu's eyes, that shade of blue that Coli saw in her dreams.
Rather than pull away from the warmth of the woman's exploring fingers, Coli stepped forward, nestling her forehead lightly against her lover's face. The intimacy of their embrace left her breathless, her eyelashes fluttering like nervous butterflies' wings as her hands slipped forward, settling lightly on the lush fur of Anu's hips. It was like they were poised to dance, waltzing beneath the fruit-laden boughs of the orchard, lit by apple lanterns, choreographed by honeybees.
"...Please help me," she whispered in response, her voice pitiful with its neediness. "I want to love you forever... don't let me disappoint you again." Her lips curved into a shaky smile, and she shyly glanced up through her veil of lashes. This... felt right. This was where she was supposed to be. She didn't have to try and please her relatives or her packmates, not if it left her so anxious and miserable... not when hope existed here, and a chance for a good life. She could forget about poison, and grow things to make others smile. Put her past behind her... If ever there was a chance for that, it was here in the arms of this blue-eyed angel.
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maybe you'll gain momentum when you return... let me know when you see this, and i can archive it. :] (ill add your points too)
Her fingers trailed along the girl’s spine, lightly as if she had been tempted to touch glass. She so desperately wished to feel her truly, without the restriction that she placed on herself. But no, she thought as she breathed in the other woman’s scent once more. No, the one thing she so desired would always be just beyond her reach. The Dahlian would leave, as she needed to, and Anu would let her slip out of her fingers once again. Her body felt as stiff as the branches of the tree the stood beside, uncertainty flowing through her as quickly as her blood. Heart raced, pounding in her chest with the force of a hammer as the woman awoke to the fervor that tied to the two together.
Coli moved into her, and Anu was absorbed b the contact. It left her breath trapped within her chest. The outside world dissolved as their forms touched. The warmth of their chests melted, the beating hearts joining. Blue eyes closed briefly as she felt the touch of her hands on her sides and the curves of her hips. The Dreamer embraced her, hands moving to her back slowly but without the hesitation and the rigidity that she had once known. Slowly her gaze returned as she heard the plea. The woman didn’t speak, listening as Colibi Haki spoke. It was wrong. Anu was not disappointed, only scared. Fearful that she would be gone forever.
This fight, was all Anu had ever known. The battle for the security of a partnership. Forever. The words rung in her ears and Anu smiled. She only wanted to believe, to know that Colibri would be here to love her until her last breath. Her hand rose along her spine, fingers deep within the soft fur that lined it. It had the same sensation she got when returning home, familiar and yet the excitement to know what might have changed while away. Colibri could be her home. Could she be the stability that Anu thrived on? The woman was never without hope, and so she readily believed. Be my home Anu though, looking to the eyes of blue sky that her heart flew within.
It would be simple. All she needed to do was be here, to return and to live. Such a thing could be simple. Anu pressed against her, not allowing an ounce of air between them. Fingers trailed her face, and she spoke.
“Just come home. All you need to do is come home. A breath, to settle the need that was rising within her. She satisfied it with the heart felt expression,
“I’ll love you forever.” Simple, easy. All she needed to do was be, and let their love take care of the rest.
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