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i suck @ life. ><
At times Anu felt like she was chasing her tail. As if the petite chocolate woman was far beyond her reach, or as if she was always just around a corner and Anu was feeling like she was running in circles. A moment together was always followed by what seemed like lonely years. The blue-eyed female was finding it harder and harder to stay away, and so she didn’t.
With the Dahlian landscape enclosed around her, Anu confidently walked beyond the marked border. She thought of Cwmfen, the pups and how they were but Coli was always lingering behind the distractions that she lay her eyes upon. Morning light dotted the field that opened, and though her purpose was defined and determined Anu caught the sight of a small fence and walked towards it.
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I'm thinking I should make this table purple instead to match Conor's theme better! *nods* 300+
It all goes, all goes by
Like most days Conor’s restless body drove him into a wander. His body had to burn away some of that uncomfortable high amount of energy and emotions that swivelled inside his adolescent body. Conor was not about to fall into the usual teenager phase. He was beyond that, never had been a very normal boy in that aspect. He did not sink deep into depressions and ride the rollercoaster of mood swings. He was just Conor Soul and he was in love. The golden boy had been in love for as long as he could remember and he knew now what it meant. What it meant to be in love. It was such a strong sensation, but who could he talk with about this song in his heart? He needed someone who could understand without frowning. There was no one here that he could confide in. The only person he felt completely comfortable talking about everything with was the one person that he absolutely could not tell. Alexey Koios, his nanny and parent, the one that had raised him. The person he loved.
As always when he thought of her, the young male was completely absent minded and did not notice the fence before he walked into it His pace had been slow yet quite steady, so left a throbbing pain in his middle floor. Lavender eyes automatically scanned the landscape now to ensure that no one was here to witness his silly blooper. Unfortunately, his eyes found an earthen coated woman to the far right on the other side of the fence. Golden ears folded to rest against his skull and the blush came instantly, but he quickly realized that it was possible that the other wolf was not even a Dahlian. In order to inspect this further he started walking along the fence towards her, trying to see if he would managed to find some dignity that had not been lost when he walked into the human made blockage. ”Ahoy there,” the boy greeted with an overly cheerful voice. Her scent spoke of pack, but not the Dahlia de Mai one. ”You’re taking a risk entering these lands without an escort, lady.” Unless she was a friend of his father’s. It was just that Conor doubted that his sire had any.
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-happysigh- this is better! ... you made that?? ... & I've been making *you* tables??? WHAT!? 300+
Anu always needed to wonder what it was that the humans had created. She could explore the city for hours, if she ever chose to go there, and find nothing she could name. This place was different then the remains of the city and it was hard to forget, even for Anu, what sort of place this was. In the dawn’s light there was a peace resting over the cemetery, and it felt for a moment as if there was nothing frightening about this place. In a life so long ago Anu had been scarred in a similar place, the line trailing along her hip and leg would never allow her to stand in the place of the buried and feel safe and at ease. Yet, among the Dahlian that smelt so much of her love Anu felt a small comfort.
Her ears turned to meet the call, a voice lower then a female’s and yet still held the high tone of youth. She turned, meeting the boy that spoke to her. He was a fiery version of his father, though a lineage Anu knew not of. Yet, he reminded her of the fragile soul she sought. The words he spoke were not a threat, but a warning that she surly should heed. Though Anu was not afraid. She felt as if she had faced the monster this place harbored, a small healing cut below her eye was all the spoke of it, almost hidden by her sliver fur.
“Hello.” She returned with a calm tone. Smile grew across her maw, the younger male was slowly becoming something interesting to the woman. The air he held, the look of him. It spoke of a family she was slowly coming to know.
“A risk worth taking.” She spoke, still with a soft cushion that veiled the courage that she felt. Love was worth any risk, yet she figured he knew nothing of love.
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Nuu, this is a Sace table! Short and crappy reply for you. Enjoy!
It all goes, all goes by
A smile always helped to settle the mood for a blooming conversation. His ears flicked forwards to take in her calm tone. She was aware and did not seem to feel guilty in any way for her mild crime. Why would she risk a possible death? ”Why?” the young boy wondered openly, looking at her without understanding. It was disrespectful and it was wrong, and she risked putting her pack in a bad light being so careless. Perhaps death too if the wrong person found her. He leaned against the fence lightly, crossing his golden arms on top of it. Breeze gently brushed against his neck and ruffled his short mane lovingly. His tail moved slowly back and forth behind him, but he was not sure what to think of her and her rather strange attitude. ”What’s your excuse?”
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ohh.... sorry for the wait!! <3
Had the male never traveled into pack-lands without cause and without a call of introduction? It was common occurrence to find wanders in the Dreaming lands, and though Anu accepted some more willingly then others she generally welcomed all. He seemed familiar, but Anu couldn’t place it and felt as if he was far more worried for her safety then she was. She did not fear these lands, knowing a leader, with her mission of love floating in her mind. This boy was of no rank, Anu knew that much, and though her personality was not the type to challenge, for another it would have been possible. But the slight fey only smiled, her mind entangled in the idea of seeing the little female that held her heart.
“I’m only here to see Colibri Haki.” She spoke with a simple and light tone. She did not come for blood and horror, she did not venture forth into his lands to reek havoc.
“Perhaps you don’t know her,” Anu added. Cwmfen had never met her, and being shy, meek and a sprite that would rather speak to flowers then many wolves Anu could not assume he had met her.
“but she’s worth it.” A smile came with the words. Not sure what made her so light hearted and eager to share with the younger wolf Anu said nothing further.
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It all goes, all goes by
Puzzlement truly took him now. Of course he knew Colibri Haki. She was his half sibling and completely pure at heart despite being an exact copy of Haku in appearance. Well, not exact being female and all, but it was almost scary how similar those two were. It was incredible considering how strikingly different their personalities were. Conor loved her older half-sibling. She was a lovely individual with a big heart. His problem now was that he did not understand. This would be the first time Conor touched the subject of homosexuality. He could not make sense of what the woman said, so obviously he had misheard or she had misspoken.
”Of course I know Colibri; she is my sister..” the young boy started, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. ”What do you mean: she’s worth it?” he decided to ask, conscious of her open and dreamy body language. Her smile spoke of happiness. He wished he could take a peak into her heart and share that cheerfulness she possessed.
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love the libri...  300+
What made her so love stuck so suddenly? Anu couldn’t understand it. The feeling that bubbled beneath her skin was something in the past she hadn’t experienced. It was potent, and Anu felt like it radiated from every strand of fur that covered her form. It was the type of feeling that always stayed with her, and yet it could grow subtle and hide beneath the calm and quiet nature she was used to. Then, with no warning it rose in her chest and screaming at the top of her lungs or singing her praise to the beings beyond this world, or crying was the only relief for the pressure. It was all joyous, it was all in happiness. But Anu contained it, feeling foolish in her puppy love emotions and as the male spoke it was clear that there was a lack of understanding. Even though Anu felt like the answer was plastered across her forehead it was clear that the feelings that glowed from her features were not as obvious as they felt.
Anu had almost missed the relation, and backtracked to count the similarities that the two shared. It made her smile softly and reflect on the woman that she was seeking. They must share a sire, for as he spoke Anu saw that Haku was written in the lines of his face and more predominantly the color of coat. He held more fire, with a red, lighter and softer tone. But it was there. Anu felt for him and his horrid father. Would he seek rescue from the oppression as well? She thought. Crimson Dreams would gladly open their arms to him if it were his wish, though her bed would be full soon enough. Such thoughts! Anu cleared her brain, and responded with more innocence then her mind held. “Then you know how beautiful she is.” Why was he questioning her, when he already knew how wonderful the meek shy female was?
“Have you not had someone that you never wanted to be without?” He was young, and Anu felt that it was a stretch asking him such a question. It was brash and forthright but Anu would rather dance around the fact that she was drawing his sister away from the Dahlia pack and into her home.
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It all goes, all goes by
The boy’s face furrowed slightly in a grimace when the stranger woman said that since Colibri was his sister he knew how beautiful she was. Of course he did not. It was not like that. Conor could not see his half-sibling the same way the greyish female did. Colibri was a very kind wolfess and he guessed she was alright pretty too. Her colouration reminded him too much of their father though, and the unique beauty was overshadowed by that. The golden boy titled his head slightly and it was clear that he could not really understand. Why would another female think that his sister was beautiful and all that? ”I’m not sure if I understand what you mean.” Perhaps this woman was talking about inner beauty.
Her question struck his heart with full force and the boy was unable to keep his gaze steady on the Crimson Dreamer. His first thought had been ‘how does she know’, but he tossed it away, quite certain that his feelings were safe and secret. Would it be safe to confide in this woman? If it turned out that she was too close to the pack’s puppy sitter then he could simply imply that it was the departed Catalyst de Sadira. Her porcelain face had managed to make his cheek blush in the past, but he knew very well that there was a strong difference regarding his feelings for the Koios female. ”Yes..” the boy breathed lowly while he removed his gaze from the strange female. He knew what this feeling was, but what could he do about it? He knew nothing of love and how to ease the thirsty fire that danced in his heart.
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300+
His confusion was obvious, written on his face as plainly as her love sickness was written on her silver toned features. He couldn’t register what she meant, but Anu figured that he might not. It wasn’t the sort of combination that many were used to, especially for a younger wolf who had yet to experience all that life offered. Anu thought to apologize, for the mix of words and for the lack of blatant honesty that she was so prone to. But then he would blame her, for when his sister left to live in the Dreaming lands. At that moment she couldn’t have something else standing between she and the younger woman. There was already so much time lost and obstacles to cross.
Her start struck gaze flickered to a dim light, and she smiled softly at the male.
“She is a beautiful soul.” Was all she would say, but her beauty was not all the Anu had come to claim. It was every entity that made up the chocolate wolfess, the sound of her sigh, her honey sweet scent, her sky sapphire eyes. Anu would risk traveling in this Haku littered lands in search for a single part of her. And yet she hoped to claim the prize as a whole.
Anu was surprised when he said yes. And her smile grew slightly. He was in love? Or was it a Nanny that the young boy found so important? By the sound of his tone Anu could not miss the truth. She took a step closer, confirming her connection with the male. They weren’t so different now, were they?
“Would you go any where for them?” She asked again. Not a her, not a him. Anu was not one to be specific, for her life was not so. It was painful when one assumed that she would fall for a he, when it was always the opposite.
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He was starting to recognize the woman’s expression; the feelings so plainly displayed on her fair face. It was the same force that caused his heart to flutter every time Alexey was near. He felt oddly fragile now, knowing that they shared the same emotion for something. He believed he was starting to understand now. Beautiful soul the woman said. Conor knew he loved Alexey for who she was. Although he was not oblivious of her beautiful figure, that was not why he loved his guardian. He loved her for the beauty he found behind her dazzling amber eyes. Thinking about her caused a ripple of sadness and bliss to gently caress his cheek. He understood the Crimson Dreamer’s words now and smiled serenely.
Her question was rather silly though. ”Of course.” He’d go through heaven and hell for the latte Dahlian female. He suppressed a sigh bleeding with emotion. This was the first time he had been able to reveal that he held such emotions for another individual. It felt nice. "Do you love my sister then?" he now asked, wanting to be certain of this. If she did then he was glad. If anyone deserved happiness and devotion, it was his older half sibling. Coli deserved so much more than the past had granted her.
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Then he would no longer question her. Anu thought as he answered. If he would go to the ends for the one he loved, then how bizarre was it that she ventured here? Yes, it held the shadow of Haku over its interesting landscape but Anu had to face it in order to find the one creature that claimed her heart. It had not been easy to let it go and it had been harder gaining the trust of the fragile fey. But, she wanted to battle for the female. Anu needed to fight and needed to search and work for her love. How else would she know it was real?
At his question Anu looked at the lavender eyes he held. It was the first time she had been able to confess her feelings for the woman to another creature.
“Yes.” the small word held more then its syllables could contain. She felt she could speak until her voice was chased from her throat and still not express how much she did. Part of her waited for him to be confused further or to be revolted. But another part believed that he would have already showed such disfavor already if he held it.
“Who is it that you love?” Anu asked with curiosity.
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Eyes filled up with thought when the confirmation was given. He did not know if he should be surprised or not when he felt joy spring forth. He was happy for his older sister. Happy someone finally had been able to see who she truly was; someone beautiful and pure that deserved happiness. Conor loved Coli, but he knew she was miserable here. Ears folded back towards his skull when his expression became more serious. ”Then you must take her away from here. It’s not safe. If her father finds out he will do everything he can to make her life a living hell.” As if it wasn’t already. Conor’s grudge towards Haku ran especially deep when it came to his eldest daughter. He had ruined so much for her and it never seemed to be enough. Conor could not even imagine what Haku would do if he found out that Colibri had a love.
He looked away from the serene woman, worrying about his blue eyed sister. The woman’s question hit him hard despite that it had been obvious that it had been on its way. The boy’s lavender gaze did not wander back to the woman as he sighed heavily. People would not understand. Not even Alexey would understand if he ever told her. There was no way he could show her how he felt. ”Someone I can never have.” his voice was so filled with sadness it was a small wonder his eyes were still dry. Oh, but how he ached for her, always. ”I just.. wish I could show her how much she means to me..” the boy mumbled, not really talking to the Crimson Dreamer when speaking those last words. Oh, how he wished there could be happy endings in real life as well.
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Anu would never have guessed the words he spoke next. Blue eyes looked at his face with a lessened sense of joy. It was true, Anu knew that their father was a monster and would search for the Haki woman’s death until his own. But his words made it real, obvious. Haku already knew of her, the pain of her healed face spoke of it. Had she forgotten? It wasn’t safe. Though she felt secure in the presence of this young male, Anu flinched at the image of Coli beneath the scarred demon. Eyes fell, and she nodded slightly. “That’s why I’m here.” Anu spoke in all seriousness. She wished to forget that Colibri had been rapped and beaten, wished to erase that past for the woman. But it was impossible, and so she hoped to merely ease the pain, teach that love was still a possibility. Eyes returned, stronger then before and determined.
She smiled once more with his confession. It was a soft understanding grin and she wondered, “Why? Are they with another?” A mated wolf was off limits, but Anu understood that such boundaries blurred and contorted with pressure of emotion’s whim. With his next words Anu began to figure that she was not so much attached to someone else, but simply out of reach. She looked at the young male, thoughts of Coli never lost but lingering in the back of her mind. “There are plenty of ways to show someone you love them.” The Dreamer stated with a solid tone.
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He had put weight on her father instead of using our, but his parentage had already been revealed when he had confirmed his family tie to Colibri Haki. The woman, whose name he still did not know, said that this was the reason why she was here in Dahlia. The boy’s ears swivelled to rest faintly against the silky cinnamon fur on the top of his skull. It was for the best, but he felt sorrow at the revelation that his sister would go away. Crimson Dreams was not all that far away; he could still come visit his older sister. He wondered how her usually troubled face would look like when Haku Soul was far gone and unable to reach her. She would finally get the chance to bloom into the beautiful flower she was supposed to be. Conor almost wished he could come with the two women too, but that was impossible.
Her question about Alexey status made him cringe. Thankfully not, but still so unreachable. ”Not exactly, it’s more like an unusual match that few would bless.” Least of all Alexey. He was certain that she would never be able to see him as anything else than her little Coco – the boy that she had watched grow up and loved like a son. They were not related, but it would be frowned upon. The young male wondered what the Lilium of Dahlia would have done had he found out. Her confident statement that sounded soon after made his ears perk up again with refreshed interest. ”How do you show someone you love them then?” he asked, eager to obtain ways beyond words to express the feelings he held.
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hope this eases the boredom! 300+
Anu had wanted to keep him from knowing that she would take Coli away, but he asked her too and so the honesty and the truth did not come with as much guilt as she had expected. It was the best for the Earthen hued woman, and if they both hoped that she would be protected then it was best that Anu remove her from Dahlia. It was obvious from the past that the fragile soul that the Haki girl was could not leave on her accord. Anu had asked and come for her before. She did not wish to think about what would finally push her from the flower-pack lands if Anu did not pull her from them. If she had known his desire, Anu would have welcomed him as well into the security of the Dreaming lands.
The topic was sensitive for him, as it was speaking of Coli for Anu. The Dreamer grew soft in her posture, as if permeable of all that he wished to give. As always Anu was ready to take on the pain that the other experienced, hoping to hold some of the weight of his emotional burden. A brother, half or not, of Colibri was like a brother of Anu. The woman readily accepted him into her fold in mere moments. A nod,
“If you two love each other,” Anu spoke with a soft tone,
“all you need is the blessing of your mate.” The world as a whole would never accept her, but all Anu needed was the love of the one she desired and she felt blessed and complete.
His question was not mocked, for Anu understood that youth was filled with the unknown and with questions.
“Well,” Anu pondered, imagining how she had shown Coli love for the first time in the young girls life.
“there are many ways, from simply holding her hand to kissing her.” the woman would always keep her lectures of love simple, and innocent. When two grown wolves found the need to show their love in a physical manner no spoken words could describe how such a thing could be directed. But, as she had with her own son Anu would show him the path to romantics and follow the ways of a gentleman.
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300+ ^_^
A few imprisoned butterflies caressed his inner walls as the woman spoke. Oh, how he wanted to believe her. He wanted to know this Dreamer, this pleasant and warm soul that did not seem to even consider turning against him when he had revealed that people would see him and Alexey as wrong if they ever – in his wildest and most imaginative – ended up together. No, he was alone with his burdened heart, but this did not necessarily mean that he would sit idle and do nothing. No, not as long as the seductive warmth of love radiated through him. He also felt slightly let down then, because she had said that if the two loved each other then that was all they would need. He would never be able to call Alexey his. She did not feel as he felt and she had even kicked him out of her bedroom as he had grown older because she was afraid people might start to talk.
The boy sighed heavily and shook his head miserably. ”She doesn’t love me the way I love her..” To say this out loud actually made him hurt. ”Why?” the boy wanted to scream out. His lips stayed shut though and instead he attempted to empty his lavender gaze for sorrow. Instead he should focus on being happy for Coli. His ears flattened fully and a small whine escaped the male as the woman spoke of holding hands and kissing. Images flashed in front of his eyes: Alexey holding his han;, Alexey kissing his cheek or forehead; Alexey hugging him close. Why couldn’t things have been different? He did not want to be her child any longer. ”Kiss on the cheek?” the boy’s voice wondered now, wanting her to say yes so that he could continue to show his love in secret without really giving Alexey a chance to figure out his hidden emotions.
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short ><
All of the tainted, sinful, twisted ways some loved did not run through her mind. They didn’t even brush against the outer most part of her thoughts. Anu imagined an innocent bond, for she sensed this boy as such. Could she see that it was a caregiver, a mother figure that he loved so completely? No. It was her nature to imagine two youths at arms length, wishing and hoping to fall into the others embrace. A factor, painful and yet miniscule was all that kept them apart. It was wrong, for the judgment placed upon them would be unjust and ignorant. But then…
A frown came to her maw, and bright cerulean eyes were dashed with confusion. She did not know what he meant. And if he thought to force the nameless woman to see the love though his own eyes, the boy was far more confused then Anu. Instead of assuming the worst of the Dahlian, the Dreamer simply questioned.
“Why do you think that?” His statement could have been a simple insecurity. She had thought it at times, figuring that they just didn’t love her like she loved them. No, they couldn’t feel for her the undying passion that cursed through her veins at the mere thought of them. She was not worth so much.
Her smile returned, a shadow of it former self but enough to hopefully bring the male from his despair.
“Yes,” Anu added. A kiss on the cheek could be a simple as hello, goodbye.
“Or the lips.” He wanted to show her, to break the spell that she was under and reveal the blessing that their love could be. Sometime a kiss could do so.
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300+
Just like her love, Conor’s love was not of the most common kind. Not in this sense anyway. Mature women would probably forever and always remain heavily desired by young, inexperienced males. What made Conor’s case special was that he had yet to fully take in his physical attraction to the beautiful latte woman. No, what drove the Soul male was emotional, irresistible, unconditional love. Desire was present – for when is it not, though his emotions was what made his heart flutter every time the golden eyed woman was near. Her voice questioned him again, but it was getting more difficult now, for he wished not to reveal enough to let his love gain a face with the Crimson Dreamer. Maybe this woman did not know her, but there were enough of relatives back in her pack lands. No, he simply could not risk this. Not until Alexey knew, at least. ”That’s reality. She is out of my league anyway,” he added rather unhappily.
Blood rushed to his cheeks as the woman’s suggestion reached his cinnamon coated ears. He turned away and wished there was some way he could hide his face without making it obvious that he did. A small smile danced along his lips though; thinking about it made warmth flood through him with renewed intensity. His more submissive inner voice shrieked at the growing possibility of a kiss. He was in agony already, so what would change? It happened that she held his hand and touched him. Perhaps she was being subtle too. He mentally grimaced at his sudden positivity and need to show the Caretaker how he really felt about her. He wanted to go through with it more than he had ever wanted to go through with anything. Yet he dreaded the thought and wanted to hold on to what he had at the moment.
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Everything seemed so beyond her control, just out of her reach. There were times where she felt as if she was in a realm all her own. There was always the question of; what could she do. Anu asked it again and again. How to bring Colibri to her rightful home, to her place of safety. How to explain that Anu only wanted to show the woman love, to show her something she had never experienced. There was frustration, insecurity, and a dull pain that lingered around her heart. At a moment of weakness it gladly began to strangle her courage, smother her strength until she was nothing more then a shell. If she could just get there, maybe if she could just get to the moment where Coli said she would never go, say she was hers and would never belong to another. Maybe then her world would not crumble so easily at the smallest notion of unease. The chaos of her world would have meaning where it lacked order.
He would give in that easily? He would allow her to live on in ignorance while he suffered? Why? Couldn’t they all be happy. No matter their status? In the end they were all flesh and blood, nothing more. Anu looked away, her face soft even as her mind whirled with thoughts. What made this woman beyond him? What made him unworthy? Anu wondered. She was a wolf of so called power, the second to the Dreamer’s Commander. But love couldn’t see rank, it couldn’t tell who was beautiful and who wasn’t. It caught hold and would not let go, and this boy was in the thralls and Anu could see that he would not be let go. “I’m Anu.” She spoke, eyes on the ground as she thought. “Who are you?” She asked, her voice harder in tone but in no way angry. Blue orbs looked upwards to meet the lavender of the Dahlian’s.
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300+ End this soon!
There were many influences to determine love, and there were many combinations of love. Conor knew that Alexey only loved him as her son, and therefore it was impossible to reach out for more. He was greed, wanted to be greedy and draw more out from her, but if he went through with that then he would risk not only rejection, but also suffer the loss of her motherly love. Again; he was greedy. He needed her more than he had ever thought possible. The day was simply not the same if he had not been able to see her pretty face. The thing with love was that it could be as beautiful as it could be cruel. It could enchant one poor soul just to doom it to eternal misery because the love only went one way. His heart wanted to shatter right there and then, thinking about the large chance for rejection.
Anu was her name. He silently wondered if he should let out his surname, but was it honourable to try to hide who he really was? Was he really that pathetic? He had not committed the sins of his father’s, and therefore no one were allowed to judge him as a person. ”I am Conor Soul.” he gently replied, lilac gaze lifting to meet her gentle blue. He wished he could find a variation of her confidence within his self. She seemed so sure on the words she spoke. For Conor there seemed to be too many obstacles. He was afraid of rejection. Alexey had always been there for him and he could not, could not, could not risk losing her.”Do you want me to walk you to Coli’s house?” the young male now asked, eager to try to break out of the touchy topic. She should not fill his mind with useless hope.
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